How do i tell my mother

[IslamicPearl]

Salamaleykum everyone.
Ive been studying islam for few months now using different sources of internet. The new muslim videos are the most comfortable information u can get bout the feelings new muslims have after reverting. Im saying this because, aproximatelly one year back if i recall, my friends, who is muslim, told me to search on my own bout islam. I kept asking questions bout it but it was better to find out on myself. And i started to look for websites in order to find out more. I had this feeling that what i read was right but of course at first i was seeing islam as a 'new religion', like majority of nonmuslims do, and it was as if it was messing up everything my mother tought me in my whole life. So i read once in a while bout islam but it wasnt a continous search.
Only this autumn something happened. My friend wanted to show me live images from Mekka on watchislam.com but it didnt work. So after few days i wanted to see if it works and from link to link i found the revertion of the ex preacer Yusuf. That vid made me be sure of islam and see it wiht different eyes and thats when i started doing a deeper search on it.
A month ago i said the shahada, being alone at home, after someone gave me the pronounciation. I noticed there r people who say that u can do it on yourself, which seemes logic coz God knows u did it and maybe your r somewhere lost and u want to be muslim, or some who say that you need witnesses. So im not sure if God is considering me as a muslim or not. But one thing is sure: that i cant practice it for now, thought i cud hide from my mother but still i cant do all 5 prayers, and im not happy bout it. Also since i said shahada something happened that made me stop studing islam as if i had a feeling that i know almost everything, which is not true, and not practicing it made me feel even more down.
Im realising i have to tell my mother bout it first for herself and not only for me to be able to practice islam wihtout hiding from her but its my duty now to save her from the fire. And who knows what can happen, nobody knows when one can die, so i have to do something wiht my life.
Thats why i told you my story so that someone can help me wiht my problem: how do i tell my mother about islam, step by step, wihtout shocking her. I think it would be better if i make her realise the truth of islam instead of telling her i am muslim coz she will not want to hear anything about it then.

Thank you.

 

[Muslim-]

Salamaleykum everyone.
Ive been studying islam for few months now using different sources of internet. The new muslim videos are the most comfortable information u can get bout the feelings new muslims have after reverting. Im saying this because, aproximatelly one year back if i recall, my friends, who is muslim, told me to search on my own bout islam. I kept asking questions bout it but it was better to find out on myself. And i started to look for websites in order to find out more. I had this feeling that what i read was right but of course at first i was seeing islam as a 'new religion', like majority of nonmuslims do, and it was as if it was messing up everything my mother tought me in my whole life. So i read once in a while bout islam but it wasnt a continous search.
Only this autumn something happened. My friend wanted to show me live images from Mekka on watchislam.com but it didnt work. So after few days i wanted to see if it works and from link to link i found the revertion of the ex preacer Yusuf. That vid made me be sure of islam and see it wiht different eyes and thats when i started doing a deeper search on it.
A month ago i said the shahada, being alone at home, after someone gave me the pronounciation. I noticed there r people who say that u can do it on yourself, which seemes logic coz God knows u did it and maybe your r somewhere lost and u want to be muslim, or some who say that you need witnesses. So im not sure if God is considering me as a muslim or not. But one thing is sure: that i cant practice it for now, thought i cud hide from my mother but still i cant do all 5 prayers, and im not happy bout it. Also since i said shahada something happened that made me stop studing islam as if i had a feeling that i know almost everything, which is not true, and not practicing it made me feel even more down.
Im realising i have to tell my mother bout it first for herself and not only for me to be able to practice islam wihtout hiding from her but its my duty now to save her from the fire. And who knows what can happen, nobody knows when one can die, so i have to do something wiht my life.
Thats why i told you my story so that someone can help me wiht my problem: how do i tell my mother about islam, step by step, wihtout shocking her. I think it would be better if i make her realise the truth of islam instead of telling her i am muslim coz she will not want to hear anything about it then.

Thank you.

First of all IslamicPearl, welcome to the site Sister. I hope everything becomes easier for you, and you can always share your problems here, and get them off your chest!

It's great to hear about your Shahadah.

Concerning about telling your mother, i'm not a expert in this issue, but may be drop subtle hints, or give her a book, or watch a documentary?

You know your mum best, and will know how she responds to you being Muslim..so if you think it would be hard for you, then maybe drop subtle hints about Islam.

more people will help answer this.

 

[talkadams]

Salamaleykum everyone.
Ive been studying islam for few months now using different sources of internet. The new muslim videos are the most comfortable information u can get bout the feelings new muslims have after reverting. Im saying this because, aproximatelly one year back if i recall, my friends, who is muslim, told me to search on my own bout islam. I kept asking questions bout it but it was better to find out on myself. And i started to look for websites in order to find out more. I had this feeling that what i read was right but of course at first i was seeing islam as a 'new religion', like majority of nonmuslims do, and it was as if it was messing up everything my mother tought me in my whole life. So i read once in a while bout islam but it wasnt a continous search.
Only this autumn something happened. My friend wanted to show me live images from Mekka on watchislam.com but it didnt work. So after few days i wanted to see if it works and from link to link i found the revertion of the ex preacer Yusuf. That vid made me be sure of islam and see it wiht different eyes and thats when i started doing a deeper search on it.
A month ago i said the shahada, being alone at home, after someone gave me the pronounciation. I noticed there r people who say that u can do it on yourself, which seemes logic coz God knows u did it and maybe your r somewhere lost and u want to be muslim, or some who say that you need witnesses. So im not sure if God is considering me as a muslim or not. But one thing is sure: that i cant practice it for now, thought i cud hide from my mother but still i cant do all 5 prayers, and im not happy bout it. Also since i said shahada something happened that made me stop studing islam as if i had a feeling that i know almost everything, which is not true, and not practicing it made me feel even more down.
Im realising i have to tell my mother bout it first for herself and not only for me to be able to practice islam wihtout hiding from her but its my duty now to save her from the fire. And who knows what can happen, nobody knows when one can die, so i have to do something wiht my life.
Thats why i told you my story so that someone can help me wiht my problem: how do i tell my mother about islam, step by step, wihtout shocking her. I think it would be better if i make her realise the truth of islam instead of telling her i am muslim coz she will not want to hear anything about it then.

Thank you.

first, assalamu alaikum my sister.

I will like u to understand that,u are a muslim u should take ur religious obligations very serious i.e salat, becouse it streighten the iman and bring u close to Allah (swt)
With regargs to ur mum insha Allah these tips will assist.

1. PRAY FOR UR COURSE DIRECTLY TO ALLAH (SWT)
2.TREAT HER WITH KINDNESS,LOVE AND MERCY AS STATED IN QUR'AN AND SUNNAH.
3.INTRODUCE TO HER THE TOPIC ON ISLAM IN THE COURSE OF PLAIN DISCUSSION,SYSTEMATICALLY REMOVE THE BAD NOTION SHE DEVELOPED AGAINST ISLAM THERE AFTER U OBSERVED THE LEVEL OF HER MORALS(positive/negetive) AFTER SHOWING FACTS,DECLARE TO HER UR STATUS IN ISLAM IN SHA ALLAH SHE WILL FOLLOW SUIT MAY ALLAH GUIDE US AMEEN.

 

[ibn azem]

Bismillah,

:salam2:

Welcome dear sister in Islam,

Alhamdulillaah (praise belongs to Allah) for showing His mercy to you, for guiding you and giving you the most precious gift in the world - Islam!

As for practicing and learning more and more about Islam, I advise you not to stop but to continue and learn about the fundamentals as that strengthens your belief in Allah (swt) and your confidence in life, and the brighter you are the wiser insha'Allah (if Allah wills).

Ofcourse it seems at this point of time a bit hard for you to talk and present your Islam to your mother, however with patience and dua (supplication) to Allah slowly you will find the courage and insha'Allah you will even succeed on explaining to her the truth and the beauty of Islam.

The method of talking to her should ofcourse be kind and gentle, by showing your love towards her and how much she means to you as a mother, try to find and use the way your previous conversations and their method had the best results where your mother listened and accepted your ideas or prposals.
And also when you try to explain her anything about Islam, ask her questions; do not start directly on the topic about Islam, but on life in general and the creation and the puropse of our life, so that you make her think deeper about these things too.

And insh'Allah you will see that Allah (swt) will make it easy for you with the time even though you might face any difficulties, as we always have them in life though this time you have Allah (swt) with you and on your side as a muslimah.

I wish for you the best and ask Allah (swt) to help you with your family, give you the best in this life and reward you with the Jannah sister.

Take care sister.

wasalaam.

 

[mustafaburaq]

s slm aleiqum

first of all i want to say that Allah (c.c) is considering you innocent as a new born baby ! thank to Allah , you have found the true way!

and i think you should make a strategy to tell your mum it. you can make her realizing you and she is different as having different body,soul,logic,thoughts however you are part of her.and you can tell her that "your family would be muslim if you came to earth in islam country" ,by this way she can realize society and family lead us for our lifes.and try to tell them too.tell her there maybe better,happier and peaceful ways.and tell her some verse of quran without saying it is verse of quran.and ask her what does she think about it? same or not? absoulutly she will give same.and after that u can say quran says something too. hmm step by step with little word games and making her think you can tell her....my way can be wrong!

Allah helps you ! inshaallah! take care...

 

[allahsservant]

maybe i can help?

i too found islam nut was tto afraid after my conversion to tell ym parents. i finally tld my parents but they were angry. i should have waited because know i am questioning christianty(the religion i reverted from) and islam. if i were you i would talk to my mom at least 6 months - a year. pray and make duas and wear modest clothing. mayeb your parents will see how clean and nice you have become. then tell your mom about slam and insha'alah they will cme to find the truth of islam. sorry if this is not very good advice, but it really does depend on yourself and how good of a relationshipyou have with your mom! good luck,
allahsservant:ma: :tti_sister:

 

[umm hussain]

welcome

Asalam alaikum warahmatullah

Allah truly guides whomsoever he wills. As for telling your mum, I know it must be really difficult. I didnt even tell my mum when I said shahada I got my sister to do it and when she found out it didnt go down well with her at all. You know your mum best and how she would react. I would love to tell my dad about Islam but I am scared of his reaction and like you said people can die anytime and i wouldnt want him to die without knowing about Islam, inshallah i will get the courage one of these days.

I think that will be a great idea to just make comments about Islam without actually telling her you are a muslim yet. Maybe say something like with all this publicity about Islam, I want to find out what this "religion" is all about and maybe she might even help you and with time maybe tell her that you have decided to become muslim after considering what u have been reading. I would love to use that approach with my dad but he is so far away in Africa and I am in England. Inshallah I will find a way.

Hope this helps

 

[Karima]

Asalamualikum,

Find some 'common' threads about Christianity and Islam. Did you realize that the same Angel Gabriel who came to Daniel, and to Mary, also came to Muhammad? This can be something you could mention.

Also DVDs about Islam from the History Channel or PBS can be something to share together and discuss.

Being in America, our schooling only surfaced Islam. No one taught about this....and the Arabic Numbers, Medicines, etc. all came from the Arabic people! This is very much a positive aspect of how God/Allah directed those in the sciences for all of us to learn from.

InshaAllah, good can come from this, and not push anything....just expose what you have learned, as Allah opened your eyes to this. It has to be a miracle, in itself for you to be able to understand what you once did not know.

Salam

 

[AishaR]

:salam2:

:ma:

Welcome firstly to the site & the family.
I feel your pain sister, as I have been through the same with my family. It wasnt an easy step for me to take but I have and my family have accepted my decision. Things were not easy for them, they felt as if they were losing me & nearly 12 mths on they still have many questions. My only advise sister is be patient, it may take sometime.
Dont forget we are always here for you.

 

[Islamthetruth]

:Sallam:
Sister I am very happy that you have joined the Ummah Mashallah. Inshallah this is a choice that you made which you will nvere regret.

regarding the problem you have stated:

My Idea:
Maybe my dear sister it might be a good idea if you ask her questions related to islam to see her response and that why u can share yourown knowldge about islam.

maybe if u ask questions then u wll know when to tell your mother.

I hope it helps inshallah and dont allow shaytan to control you. do your dailly prayers Allah will help you in the worst situations when ur sincer in ur belief and prayer.
I pray that Allah makes everything easy for

 

[Ali_Ibrahim]

Dear sister
welcome to islam, it's an amazing thing that you've done. You miraculously accepted the dean of allah and have been cured of all previous sins, and may allah grant and give you everything you wish for insha allah.

Sister, I'm somewhat going through the same situation, although its not me who is converting, it's a friend of mine who i intend to bring to islam in case of relational matters.
The idea behind getting your mom to accept who you are and the faith you've chosen is by far the hardest thing ever to accomplish as I know because my mom will not accept this girl i am trying to convince to come to islam. Trust me sister, If i were you, i would seriously take my time, really reallu focus on matters other than your mom for it'll stress you in your daily doings. Performing salah to your best ability is obligatory but hiding salah from your mom does not mean you hide it from allah. For allah loves those who worship him alone in secret and outloud. I would suggest, that seeing moms are the ones who cook, you aught to bring up halal foods and then breed from there. But if i may tell you sister, do not and i repeat do not rush it, because if you do, then you won't succeed, and think about it, allah loves those who perservere so if your struggling with the acceptance of your mom, just remember allah gives you credit for what your doing. Allah tells you to obey your mom no matter what.. Obey her even if you chose the path of allah and she has not. You also have to understand that she is old ( i dont know her age) but im assuming that she's wise enough. and sometimes wise people think they know everything. So the way to approach this matter, is by taking it slowly through ideas of food, nature, and so on an so forth. I would also try n keep my distance and i would not try to argue with her for it'll even take her anger out on you for being a muslima. Remember, practice salah in private for now, it is still considered ok. and allah knows what your doing, had your mom been ok with it, you would make salah right infront of her so there really isn't a problem with hiding. If you were hiding becuase your not brave enough or some other ridiculous reason, that's another matter. So insha allah she will love you the same way she loved you from before, and may allah give her and yothe understanding, the strength to be successful. once again, welcome to islam and insha allah you live your life to the fullest degree in happiness ya rab.

 

[NewMuslim]

Assalamu Alaykum
Many Brothers/Sisters have given you good advice on this matter (JazakAllahu Khair for that).

I had the same problem. My mother is a Christian and so is my brother. I tried telling my mother that I had reverted to Islam, but she got angry and yelled at me. My brother hate[s/d] Islam, so he was no better.

However, I continued to make Du'a to Allah (Glorified is He and Most High) asking Him to grant me the guts to tell them I'm Muslim.

I kept making this Du'a, and all of a sudden they know and aren't angry about it (though they may be thinking that I'll go back to Christianity, my former religion). They've accepted it.

Knowing this, I give you one piece of advice, though nonetheless important:
MAKE DU'A TO ALLAH (Glorified is He and Most High) ASKING HIM TO REVEAL YOUR REVERSION TO ISLAM TO YOUR FAMILY AND ASKING HIM TO HAVE THEM ACCEPT IT

 

[MerveZeynep]

I'LL MAKE DU'A FOR YOU ALL..
AND I KNOW THAT IF A MUSLIM MAKE DUA FOR MUSLIM SIS. OR BRO. ALLAH (C.C.) WILL ACCEPT IT INSHALLAH..

shortest and best time inshaAllah for u and ur family...

 

[Nur Sarah]

A month ago i said the shahada, being alone at home, after someone gave me the pronounciation. I noticed there r people who say that u can do it on yourself, which seemes logic coz God knows u did it and maybe your r somewhere lost and u want to be muslim, or some who say that you need witnesses. So im not sure if God is considering me as a muslim or not./QUOTE]

dear sister,

when i converted i needed two already male muslims to witnesses...i am not sure for the reason. but maybe you want to talk to a muslim frind or go to your local iman. if i am wrong please correct me... Nur Sarah

 

[Abdul-Raheem]

:salam2:

It's good to have witnesses but you can say it while alone.

 

[ibn azem]

dear sister,

when i converted i needed two already male muslims to witnesses...i am not sure for the reason. but maybe you want to talk to a muslim frind or go to your local iman. if i am wrong please correct me... Nur Sarah

:salam2:

What if you dye? how are you going to be washed and prayed the janaza and be buried as a muslim if noone knows that you are a muslim?

So I advise the sister to find a mosque in the vicinity and tell the imam about her becoming a muslimah, just to let someone know. That is important for that reason.

wasalaam.

 

[Nur Sarah]

:salam2:

It's good to have witnesses but you can say it while alone.

Assalamu Alaykum
thank you very much for the correction...Nur SArah

 

[bemuslim]

GIFT

Only you know when you are ready to embrace Islam, don't let anyone else make that decision for you.

. Do not delay once you have decided to embrace Islam, say the testimony of Faith in both Arabic and in your mother tongue.
Ash-hadu an laa-ilaaha illal-laahu wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadar rasuulullaah
"I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala), and I bear witness that Muhammad (sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam) is His Messenger."

. It is not obligatory to have someone witness your testimony but you can repeat the Shahaadah with a muslim helping you with the Arabic pronounciation

. If you take the Shahaadah at the mosque, you can ask for a written confirmation that you have taken the Shahaadah (this paper is not obligatory but might be useful one day, to get visa for Saudi Arabia for example)

. After saying the Shahaadah, take a shower and say your first prayer

. Changing your name is obligatory only if your present name has a meaning contrary to muslim beliefs. The great majority of new muslims do prefer choosing a new name. Some converts register the name change legally, others do not. List and meaning of Names for Sisters and Names for Brothers


After - What To Do - Top
. Continue following the recommendations in the "before" section
. Keep in contact with a mentor/teacher
. Register for classes for new muslims, attend lectures

. Learn how to perform wudhu (ablution before prayer) - new
. Learn prayer: text/ audio site - transliteration / audio - info on prayers new
. Learn Al Fatiha and short surahs here, or here , or then here new
. Scroll down to " Prophet_Prayer_Al_Albanee.pdf"
. Why we pray in Arabic? Read this article

. Build up your own folders of favorite and trusted sites
. Become part of your muslim community, participate in the activities
. Find new friends among trusted members of the community
. Meet with other new sisters /brothers and support each other
. Follow Islamic guidelines when communicating with men/women


After - What To Read / Learn - Top

. Continue following all what we recommended so far.
. Remember the points mentioned in Authenticity of Islamic Information
. Protect your faith: acquire a sound knowledge of Islam before satisfying your curiosity about deviant beliefs. Right now, visiting unreliable websites and reading about deviant beliefs would only lead to confusion: at one point you would not know anymore what is in Islam and what is out of Islam.

. Under the headings of "Resources", many websites are suggested
. The References List follows the same classification as "Islam Information Page". It provides fast access to essential information. It includes the majority of sites listed in "Resources".
. Islam Information Page presents links classified in 7 main categories and numerous sub-categories. It is a research tool for those seeking information on a variety of topics. Each category has a link for its own menu. Site Map gives you an overview of the contents of the whole website.


Resources - Free Books - Top

Arabic Language Resources - learn the alphabet
- download fonts - learn Arabic - read Arabic webpages
- learn the meaning of Islamic expressions

Articles and Books - check regularly for updates to the list -

Free Islamic Resources - prayer programs
- books - download - magazines - software


Resources - Audio Lectures - Books Online - Top
Audio - Recitation and Lectures

Audio Islam - extensive list of lectures on varied topics
Audio Lectures - Index - links classified by topics
Islamway.com - Quran - lectures - prayer
Transliteration for Prayer - learn prayer - audio / text - new
Transliteration for Quran - learn recitation - audio / text - new
Websites with Audio and Video - lectures/khutbah - radio/TV

Books/Articles to Read Online

Friday Khutub - islam1.org - 60+ Khutbah
- Islamic Centre of Raleigh - Imam Baianonie
Institute of Islamic Information and Education 30+pamphlets
Monotheism of Worship - Its Characteristics - Sheikh al Budayr
Muslim Beliefs - list of 105 tenets of Islam
The First and Final Commandment - from Christianity to Islam -
The Pillars of Eeman (Faith) - Shaykh Ibn al 'Uthaymeen
The Plain Truth - book written by a convert
The Pre-Requisites of the Shahaadah ( testimony of Faith)
What Negates One's Islam - what takes a muslim out of Islam

Resources - Websites - Top
- remember to read Authenticity of Islamic Information

Introduction to Islam
- for any Quran Translation -> be very careful and SEE warning
A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam
Al Haramain Islamic Foundation - also offers free books
The True Religion - site also has a forum for non-muslims
Understand Islam - a new site presenting articles / audio on authentic Islam
Welcome Back To Islam - a site specially for converts

Islam for All
Al-Islam com - articles and audio
Ghuraba - forum and lectures
The Islamic Network - articles and audio
The Last Prophet of God - all about Muhammad (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam)
The Qur'an and Sunnah Society of North America
Understand-Islam net - articles - books - audio lectures

 

[Nur Sarah]

:salam2:

What if you dye? how are you going to be washed and prayed the janaza and be buried as a muslim if noone knows that you are a muslim?

So I advise the sister to find a mosque in the vicinity and tell the imam about her becoming a muslimah, just to let someone know. That is important for that reason.

wasalaam.

thank you for your reply to my question...i agree then that sister should tell some one!!!! may allah give you blessings and courage:tti_sister:

 

[IslamicPearl]

I must thank you all for the help you have provided me. It really means a lot for me and for the way i will make the solution of my problem come to life.

Yes i have to take it slowly couse otherwise i will make mom go even further from islam and losing her from this point of view would be very very sad. I have noticed while watching documentaries or news that she realises that the Church, as an institue, is 'controling' masses, hiding part of the truth, the real history, the way they used only some writtings in the bibile and hidden the others, the way they 'killed in the name of God' or how traditions related to the important parts of one man's life may be exagerated. In the end she knows God is great, he protects us from evil, but still she believes in Jesus as his son....I believe that she is afraid to think if Him different than God's son coz thats 'the truth' and she would sin to think different. I was afraid at first too but im younger and young people accept faster new things.

I told about my shahada to my muslim friend but he is not here to help me or to come wiht me to the mosque. It seems pretty hard now to go there for the first time.

Im studying bout islam mostly from:
turntoislam.com
islamtomorrow.com
islam.ro
islamulazi.ro (maybe there are romanian muslims here that use these sites)

Do you think folowing the performer of the paryer form one of these sites is ok? Should i write them down to read them during prayer; but this would mean not to be in the right position coz id need to keep the paper where i can see it? And is it possible to find a romanian version of the prayers or is it better to strugle to read them in arabic thought i dont understand what they say?

I would be grateful if these qustions would be answered and im sure i will find more to ask. I hope this helps others in same situation as mine.

Salamaleykum