Asalam aleacom warahmato Allah wabarakato ahmed_indian
وَلْتَكُن مِّنكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ ۚ وَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ
"Let there arise out of you a band of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong: They are the ones to attain felicity. "
(The holy Quran, 3:104)
May Allah award you for that, and for trying to help him.
I agree with sister salamtoyou.
Try your best to be patient, and try talking to your relative gently. The way we communicate/make dialouge, has an affect on people and plays a role in Dawa.
Talk to him about what is upseting him. And if you can, talk to those who wronged him, and say to them that it is haram too. And if they can change it, it will be good to do so.
Perhaps recite the following Aya as well as other ayat and hadeeths provided at the end of this post to your relative:
الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
"Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good. "
(The Holy Quran, 3: 134)
Talk to him about forgiveness, and that Allah loves those who forgive. Forgiveness heals the wounds and restores relations between people. As mush as we need Allah's forgiveness for our sins, we need to practice forgiveness towards others whom wronged us. Brother The_Truth did a thread named "Forgive others if we want forgiveness for ourselves" at the following link:
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=76753
Then perhaps get them altogether (or just him) for a Quran recitation. Surat Al-Hujraat (Sura 49).
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Ahadeeth and Ayat related to Brotherhood, Forgiveness, Backbiting
« انصْرْ أَخَاكَ ظَالمِا أَوْ مَظْلُومًا »
(Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is oppressed.) "I asked, `O Allah's Messenger! It is right that I help him if he is oppressed, but how should I help him if he is an oppressor' He said,
« تَمْنَعُهُ مِنَ الظُّلْمِ فَذَاكَ نصَرُكَ إِياَّه »
(By preventing him from oppressing others; this is how you help him in this case.)''
"The believers are but a brotherhood." means, all of them are brothers in Islam. The Messenger of Allah said,
« المْسْلِمُ أَخُو المْسْلِمِ لاَ يَظْلِمُهُ وَلاَ يُسْلِمُه »
(The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim, he is not unjust with him nor does he forsake him.)
In the Sahih,
وَاللَّهَ فِي عَوْنِ العْبْدِ مَا كَانَ العْبْدُ فِي عَوْنِ أَخِيه
(Allah helps the servant as long as the servant helps his brother.)
مَثَلُ المْؤْمِنِينَ فِي تَوَادِّهِمْ وَتَرَاحُمِهِمْ وَتَوَاصُلِهِمْ كَمَثَلِ الجْسَدِ الوْاحِدِ، إِذَا اشْتَكَى مِنْهُ عُضْوٌ تَدَاعَى لهَ « سَائرِ الجْسَدِ باِلحْمَّى وَالسَّهَر
"The parable of the believers in relation to the kindness, mercy and compassion they have for each other, is that of the body: when an organ of it falls ill, the rest of the body responds with fever and sleeplessness." And also in Sahih.
« المْؤْمِنُ للِمُؤْمِنِ كَالبْنْيَانِ يَشُدُّ بَعْضُهُ بَعْضًا »
"A believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other." The Prophet then clasped his hands with the fingers interlaced.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاءٌ مِّن نِّسَاءٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ ۖ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ ۖ بِئْسَ الِاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ ۚ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ
"O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame yourselves, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is the name of wickedness after faith. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed wrongdoers."
(The Holy Quran, 49:11)
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ
"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicion is sin. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother You would hate it. And have Taqwa of Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful."
(The Holy Quran, 49:12)
إِياَّكُمْ وَالظَّنَّ فَإِنَّ الظَّنَّ أَكْذَبُ الحَْدِيثِ، وَلاَ تَجَسَّسُوا وَلاَ تَحَسَّسُوا، وَلاَ تَنَافَسُوا وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا، وَلاَ
تَبَاغَضُوا وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا، وَكُونوُا عِبَادَ اﻟﻠﻪِ إِخْوَاناً
"Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; do not spy on one another; do not look for other's faults; do not be jealous of one another; do not envy one another; do not hate one another; and do not desert (shun) one another. And O Allah's servants! Be brothers!"
The Two Sahihs and Abu Dawud recorded this Hadith.
Anas said that the Messenger of Allah said,
لاَ تَقَاطَعُوا وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا وَلاَ تَبَاغَضُوا وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا، وَكُونوُا عِبَادَ اﻟﻠﻪِ إِخْوَاناً، وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لمِسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ »
« ثَلَاثَةِ أَياَّم
"Do not shun each other; do not ignore one another; do not hate one another, and do not envy one another, and be brothers, O servants of Allah. No Muslim is allowed to shun his brother for more than three days." Muslim and At-Tirmidhi collected this Hadith, who considered it Sahih.
A Hadith collected by Abu Dawud that Abu Hurayrah said, "It was asked,`O Allah's Messenger! What is backbiting' He said,
« ذِكْرُكَ أَخَاكَ بمِا يَكْرَه »
"Mentioning about your brother in a manner that he dislikes." He was asked, `What if my brother was as I mentioned' He said,
« إِنْ كَانَ فِيهِ مَا تَقُولُ فَقَدِ اغْتَبْتَهُ، وَإِنْ لمَْ يَكُنْ فِيهِ مَا تَقُولُ فَقَدْ بَهَتَّه »
"If he was as you mentioned, you will have committed backbiting. But if he was not as you say about him, you will have falsely accused him.'' At-Tirmidhi collected this Hadith and said "Hasan Sahih.''
Backbiting was sternly warned against, and this is why Allah the Exalted and Most Blessed compared it to eating the flesh of a dead human being,
أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ
"Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother You would hate it."
Just as you hate eating the flesh of a dead person, on account of your nature; so hate backbiting, on account of your religion. The latter carries a punishment that is worse than the former. This Ayah seeks to discourage people from backbiting and warns against it.
"Verily, your blood, wealth and honor are as sacred among you as the sanctity of this day of yours, in this month of yours, in this town of yours." Abu Dawud recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
« كُلُّ المُْسْلِمِ عَلَى المُْسْلِمِ حَرَامٌ مَالهُُ وَعِرْضُهُ وَدَمُهُ، حَسْبُ امْرِىءٍ مِنَ الشَّرِّ أَنْ يَحْقِرَ أَخَاهُ المُْسْلِم »
"All of the Muslim is sacred to the Muslim, his wealth, honor and his blood. It is evil enough for someone to belittle his Muslim brother."
"Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful." (Holy Quran, 49:12) He forgives those who repent to Him, is merciful with those who go back to Him and trust in Him. The majority of scholars have stated that repentance for committing the sin of backbiting is that one refrains from backbiting intending not to repeat it again. There is a difference of opinion if whether feeling remorse is required in this case, and also if one should apologize to those who he has backbitten. Some scholars stated that it is not necessary for one to ask those whom he has backbitten to forgive him, because if they knew what was said about them, they could be hurt more than if they were not told about it. It is better, they said, that one should praise those whom he has backbitten in audiences in which he has committed the act. It is also better if one defends the injured party against any further backbiting, as much as one can, as recompense for his earlier backbiting.
Tafseer IBN KATHIR
