TheAuthenticBase
Assalaamu 'alaykum!
Men want to know that they have ultimate control over their wife. Besides it being their right, it’s also their ego that sometimes controls their actions so that they are too proud to be gentle and kind, because they feel that they are giving in or being too soft, but the opposite of this is true.
Brothers, do you know that you already have such control? A simple word or two of praise and appreciation to your wife gives her such feelings inside of love and peace that all she will want to do is to do more for you. It is the natural feeling of complete joy that Allah has built into women that makes them such good wives and mothers.
You have the key to bringing out that natural state of submission in them. Just a few words, or a loving look, or gentle touch, to let her know that you appreciate her efforts to please you.
The opposite of this is true too, when you treat her harshly you can completely destroy her self-esteem, and she feels totally lost and heartbroken. This is also from Allaah, which he placed in her heart so that she strives so hard to please. If she didn’t feel this way, she wouldn’t care so deeply for her husband and children and meeting their needs and having the un-ending patience that mothers have.
When you allow your anger to be the way of controlling your wives, you don’t realize that it actually undermines your ultimate control. Having your wife obey you out of fear is no-where near as satisfying as having your wife obey you out of an inner desire to please you. The Prophet (saw) said:
As men, and the leader of the family, you are the ones who need to set the ‘tone’ within the house. Use the control you have to create a happy, harmonious environment for yourself, your wife and your children insha’Allah. Don’t forget the reward from Allah: The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wasalaam) said:
http://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/how-to-win-the-love-of-your-wife/
Brothers, do you know that you already have such control? A simple word or two of praise and appreciation to your wife gives her such feelings inside of love and peace that all she will want to do is to do more for you. It is the natural feeling of complete joy that Allah has built into women that makes them such good wives and mothers.
You have the key to bringing out that natural state of submission in them. Just a few words, or a loving look, or gentle touch, to let her know that you appreciate her efforts to please you.
The opposite of this is true too, when you treat her harshly you can completely destroy her self-esteem, and she feels totally lost and heartbroken. This is also from Allaah, which he placed in her heart so that she strives so hard to please. If she didn’t feel this way, she wouldn’t care so deeply for her husband and children and meeting their needs and having the un-ending patience that mothers have.
When you allow your anger to be the way of controlling your wives, you don’t realize that it actually undermines your ultimate control. Having your wife obey you out of fear is no-where near as satisfying as having your wife obey you out of an inner desire to please you. The Prophet (saw) said:
‘The strong man is the one who can control his anger’.
Brothers, you already have the ultimate control that you strive for, just in your tone of voice, your ability to give praise, and the way that you are able to tell your wife when something displeases you in a gentle way that is more like educating her than admonishing her.
As men, and the leader of the family, you are the ones who need to set the ‘tone’ within the house. Use the control you have to create a happy, harmonious environment for yourself, your wife and your children insha’Allah. Don’t forget the reward from Allah: The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wasalaam) said:
‘The best amongst you is the one who is best to his wives‘.
http://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/how-to-win-the-love-of-your-wife/