I am married to a Non-Muslim man

[rabie04]

Salam alikum
Sister your husband had the ability to become a muslim because he is accepting to you and the children to practice islam freely so you have to try more and more and because he had this ability you can turn him to islam it InCHA ALLAH! Ask Allah in after every daily prayers !!

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Many of the responders who tell us to make hasty decisions are not married. They can not be mothers. DianeK is right. We can not divide families. Make dua and wait.

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:


Sister Julie.

Just for the fact to put it out there I am married and a mother so I understand this is difficult but Allah said love him more than anything. Anything includes your husband. So do not think whoever posted daleel wants you to make hasty decisions. A hasty decision would be going against Allah and not telling you the truth it what it states. People can say ask yourself but Allah has said it is haram for a muslim women to be married to a non muslim man. On top of that then we provide you fatwa explaining a convert in the same situation.Now the fatwa said wait out the prescribed time. you have done that clearly beyond its time and he did not change yet. One day he might only Allah knows and if he does change he can remarry you. But I have said everything I can based off of Islam not my personal feelings. All we can do is give you the answers off Quran and inshallah you follow them. I do not know why there is so much confusion over the matter it is haram and daleel has been provided. For everyone who said for her to stay please provide daleel for this. I would love to see it. And whomever gives this sister advice and she stays listening to you just remember you are responsible!! For a non muslim to say it stay it is ok that fine that do not believe anyways but a muslim be careful. Fear Allah for your sake. Allah is all knowing he knows better than us so follow his commands.
Salam Amirah80

 

[amirah80]

I must add here, if God is all forgiving and merciful.....then ask yourself would he want you to divide the family you have made and separate your children from their father based on the fact that you chose to become muslim after your marriage and children? I understand that of what is allowed but most despised by God is divorce. How can one suggest that God would nullify a family based on one person's religious decision post family? I dare think he would not....How could you let a religious decision of YOURS divide your family? How is that fair to the children? Things are not always black and white people.....there is a lot of GRAY out there.

:salam2:

Just one more comment. Marriage is high regarded in Islam like Dianek mentioned but divorce is not wanted but it is halal not haram. If you divorce by the commands Allah gave you than how is it despised like it was mentioned. Allah said haram to marry a non muslim man if you divorce Dianek how is it despised. Do you have daleel? Is it fair to the children to be married to a non muslim when they say it is to many rules to follow Islam but they do believe in the message? Obvisouly if it is to many rules they are doing something the should not if they cannot become muslim base off that if they believe! With that said how is that fair to the children to raise them like that?

Salam Amirah80

 

[Munawar]

Wa alaikum salam,
I think what is holding him back is the fact that Islam has many rules and he does not want to follow. Examples...eating pork, fasting Ramadan, praying 5 times a day, and more. Wa salam

:salam2: Congratualtions sister Julie on your reversion to Islam.
May Allah (SWT) help you and guide you and solve your problem.

Tell your husband that it is not expected from him to start all the requirements of being a Muslim from the day one. No. He can slowly take steps in this direction too. Allah is very merciful.

There is a saying from Aisha (RA) the wife of our beloved Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) that if the Ayahs (verses) to prohibit alcohol were the first one then people would not have followed it because they were very used to drink it. If the first verse was not to do the adultry and fornication then people would have not accepted it because they were very much involved in that thing. So Allah (SWT) in his infinite mercy first softened the hearts of the believers and when their emaan became strong then the restrictions came and the streets of Medina were flowing with wine and alcohol and everyone threw alcohol out on the street.

Allah has created him (your husband) and he knows what he is capable of. If he is sincere and honest then he can take this very important step and then take other steps one at a time.

But if you stay with him too long (which you may already have) then you will be answerable to Allah. :astag:
You also need to ask this question to yourself that "How much more will I stay with him if he doen't take shahadah? "

A haraam relationship is a haraam relationship... period. Just like adultry and fornication and all other kinds of haraam sexual relationships, living as a wife with a non-muslim man is HARAAM for a muslim woman. Whatever happened has happened but from now on you need to get serious and explain the situation to him and tell him that if he likes Islam then he can take shahadah and then slowly take steps towards following its requirements. When his heart become soft and Jannah and Jahunam become clearer to him he will himself leave all the forbidden things by himself.

If he doesn't revert and you still continue to live with him, then you need to ask why you became Muslim when you cannot obey the commands of Allah. Life is a test and you need to pass these tests in order to enter Jannah.
I pray to Allah that he make things easy for my very sweet and beautiful and wonderful sister Julie. Ameen !

 

[Julie1134]

As'salamu alaikum brothers and sisters thank you:blackhijab:.

 

[um_mustafa]

salams all,
It is a very hard situation but we must relise that the marriage has become null due to the fact of the sisters conversion, which I understand means she is not therefore married.
It is very important to explain this to her "husband" and let him decide if he wants to be come a muslim and continue this marriage or not. In the mean time time sister I am afraid you should not have contact with him as husband and wife. Also it would be best to go to the mosque in your area and explain the situation to the Imam there .
Inshallah Allah Tal'aa will guide him and you can reunite as a muslim family.
Sincerly,
Um Mustafa

 

[dianek]

Salaam,

Many of the responders who tell us to make hasty decisions are not married. They can not be mothers. DianeK is right. We can not divide families. Make dua and wait.

Thanks Mirajmom, you're validating my comment means a lot, as though I do not ALWAYS agree with you, I respect your opinions.

 

[Abu.Amirah]

:salam2:

Sister much has been said and whats important is for you to read carefully all the beautiful Fatwa's posted here. We go by the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet(s.a.w). If its wrong to stay with your husband then dont think twice Allah is our provider and our protector and inshallah things will be fine in time.Talk to him that you have no option but to leave him its painful but for the sake of Allah we have to do the right thing!
Childrens...this is a sensitive part but you do ur best to get your hand on them and raise them in islam but even if they dont then Allah is the one who guides the one He wants. Alhamdulillah you were guided and inshallah your children too and maybe your husband in future!

Go to you local mosques and talk to the Imams or sheikhs there and get the advice.Many non muslims love islam but when it comes to the DO's & DONT's they find it hard to accpet it.We human love the world most but we dont realised this is just a temporary settlement and we are not sure wen death knocks on our door's so its better to do the right things always.If the daughter of the Prophet (s.a.w) ,as in one of the posts here, did that...who are we?

May Allah guide you and us all to the right way!!
Please if am wrong anywhere then correct me plz!

Jazakallahu kheir!!

 

[palestine]

Salaam,

Many of the responders who tell us to make hasty decisions are not married. They can not be mothers. DianeK is right. We can not divide families. Make dua and wait.

ya ukhti, we may not be married but we are telling this sister what is right BASED ON DEEN, not on our opinions. and you dear sister do know that A muslimah cannot be married to a non muslim. sister dianek is right in some things but when it comes to the commands of Allah what's gotta be done, gotta be done. Zaynab the prophet's daughter had no choice to be divorced because her husband whom she loved more than any other man was a disbeliever. she was sad yes, but she followed allah's command. but after he became a believer they went back together.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

You are right in telling us what is right. However, often when one is not married one does not understand the complications of married life. Sister Julie's husband is coming around. I know you would not want a sister out on the street without any help. We sometimes have to be patient. No woman wants to be without a husband, one that is willing to accept her faith. This post reminds us that situations like this do occur. We need to be loving in our responses. We need to be supportive. The sister is right. She came here to seek help. She knows the sitution. Love is powerful. Time sometimes is the solution. We need make dua for her and her family.

 

[mezeren]

Salaam,

You are right in telling us what is right. However, often when one is not married one does not understand the complications of married life. Sister Julie's husband is coming around. I know you would not want a sister out on the street without any help. We sometimes have to be patient. No woman wants to be without a husband, one that is willing to accept her faith. This post reminds us that situations like this do occur. We need to be loving in our responses. We need to be supportive. The sister is right. She came here to seek help. She knows the sitution. Love is powerful. Time sometimes is the solution. We need make dua for her and her family.

:salam2:
dear sister,

i am a married man but i don't claim to be an expert.sisters and brothers who have replied this post wrote what islam(Allah) says on the issue not what they think.So,when we find out the truth we have to accept and obey.Denying any of Allah's rule leads us to disbelief.if we can not obey Allah's orders,at least we must not deny it.

as far as i can see from the given rulings,their marriage is not valid,so it is a dangerous situation which could involve adultery,so,please let's be careful.

islam does not says separate the couples forever,rather it says saperate them untill the husband accepts islam.of course it is a difficult situation and we do not know the circumstances but what i know and believe that if Allah orders something it is the best for us.i hope the husband accepts islam and they stay together.

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

Salaam,

Many of the responders who tell us to make hasty decisions are not married. They can not be mothers. DianeK is right. We can not divide families. Make dua and wait.

:salam2:

I will make duaa that he accepts Islam soon. Your children are young, I pray that you can be a complete Muslim family together very soon :tti_sister: