I need your help and suggestions

[Yousef83]

Salam Aleykum to everyone
I have a big problem about my country where i live and women of that.My feels now completely hatred on them.I dont know what to do.May be i will lose my work because of that.Because i cant withstand to breath at same place together with them.Even in the city,country...
My problem that ; You know the non muslim females and their life style,dressing etc.After being muslim i cant accept their treats i feel they bargain against Allah (c.c) and i just watch them.I started to keep away from there no matter where is.When i see such woman on bank while waiting my turn i suddenly give up to wait and just quit there.If they ask me anything at work i dont answer.just 5 days ago my boss asked me about whats my problem.
You know there are only less than 1% Muslims where i live,i cant rid of that.Where i go where i look at i see them around of me.After these days now i started to hate from all females no matter muslim or non muslim.I cant withstand to see non muslim girls now i see especially North african Muslim females in the city while they shopping.They just envy catholic girls and work to look like them.They wear headscarf but also jeans,which impossible fit on Muslim girl wearing.You understand what i mean.I'm in deep dilemma.I want to have family like our Prophet (pbuh) suggested and Allah (c.c) commanded.But in that feel i cant stay at same place with a woman forget make a family.
I thought to go a psychologist (bwt i dont believe they can help) but i scared if he would share my feels with my boss because i converted Islam.I worked to rid of these feels myself and it worked for some days.I do forget that after my prayers but then again starting.
I have been member here for 10 days or so and read too much here about everything and i know you are very friendly and great Muslims.I know our religion consider duas for any subject.I need you to suggest me a dua if you know for such feels to escape or any idea.
Thanks in advance.
May Allah protect you all

 

[naaad]

As Salaam Alaikum brother,

firstly, i think u should tryy to be a little more patient! its the greatest plus factor for any matter.
secondly, this is the case in most of the places. though i live in an arab and muslim country, i see many girls like that (not most, but many) shamelessnes has become a style statment these days :astag:
it is indeed annoying but v can't change the world. we need to live in it keeping ourself chaste and not letting our thoughts get caught up in such matters.
please concentrate more on prayer, Qur'an & dhikr (remembrance of ALLAH). constant istighfar is very good...

and remember, this world is filled with good and bad. u cant negate the good just because u've seen bad around u. May ALLAH help u in all matters and keep u steadfast on the Right Path...

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalamu Aleikum bro,
I don' know any dua but inshaAllah our brothers and sisters will share with us...

First I would like to acknowledge what you are going through, Walahi it's a great test for all of us (males & females) but it has especial affect on men. I was listenning to a lecture by brother Faiz and he was talking about how the image of a women as we see today plays a big role in the forbidden gaze...from the billnoards to work place, from magazines to newspapers and so on. BUT THE KEY IS TO LOWER YOUR GAZE as Allah has told us both females and males. bro, know that Satans arrow is very sharp and judging by what you have written you are doing a great job by trying to LOWER THE GAZE thus turning away from the forbidden Gaze... May Allah help us!

SISter Ubah

 

[gazkour]

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

MashaAllah, It's good to know that you converted to Islam and that you're looking forward to have a good and pious family, inshaAllah.

But brother, remember that Islam is not about being sorrounded by nikabies(sisters covering all their body including their face)and being in the 'perfect' islamic place. That would be too easy! This life is a TEST for each of us. Tests are not easy and that's what is all about.

One of the most valuable virtues in the eyes if Allah is PATIENCE. And that's exactly what you need brother. Bear in mind that as you have a good intention in you heart, at the same time you might be spoiling it by having so much hate towards others.

Please don't let this affect your job and daily life. What you need to do is: show the people around the beauty of Islam and also how respectful muslim men are when seeing improperly dressed women, by lowering your gaze, not hating them, there's a big difference there!


Think that Allah has had the great Mercy of choosing you to be a muslim, therefore you have now the priviledge but also responsability to be an 'embassador' of Islam in Italy...what a beautiful task!

May Allah guide you and make it easier for you.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

What you need to do is: show the people around the beauty of Islam and also how respectful muslim men are when seeing improperly dressed women, by lowering your gaze, not hating them, there's a big difference there!

Think that Allah has had the great Mercy of choosing you to be a muslim, therefore you have now the priviledge but also responsability to be an 'embassador' of Islam in Italy...what a beautiful task!

This is a great advise. Brother, firstly I'm very proud and glad that you embraced Islam in a country I seldom hear about Islam over there. And I'm proud that you really observe un-Islamic things happening around you.

Like our brothers and sisters mentioned, this is a great test to your patience. The muslim women attire today is nothing to be surprise anymore. Though not all of them, number of them today wearing their hijab like they are going to play baseball. Headscarf and tight dressing, even this type of dressing I can't tolerate let alone watching muslim women walking semi nude or dressing like a kuffar woman.

Take the above advise seriously and pray and dua a lot to Allah for his guidance.

 

[sazk]

brother, brotherrrrr dont breed intolerance in your heart!

shall i tell you something better? smile and make dua to Allah (Subhanau Wa Ta'ala) to give guidance to your countrymen, men and women alike .

That is the way of the Prophet.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

My advice:

1. Lower your gaze

2. Lower your gaze

3. Lower your gaze

How do you know someone is wearing jeans unless you are looking brother? I wear jeans but they are extremely loose fitting and do not show my shape. I own very few clothes so my selection is limited. Tell me, would you hate me though I am trying my hardest to dress Islamically with what I have?

You cannot see a heart and you cannot hate anyone for any reason, especially not non-Muslim females because they do not follow the tenets of your religion. Instead you should feel great sadness for them as they are ignorant to their true value. They think wearing very little is "freedom" and have bought into Western brainwashing. These women are being slobbered over like a piece of meat and they don't even have the sense to know it's wrong.

You job as a Muslim man is to lower your gaze and repent when you feel desire. Worry about your own deen and leave the rest up to Allah.

Wasalaam

 

[Musulmanin]

:salam2:


Dear brother, my advice is easily said but difficult to follow. My advice to you is to constantly remind yourself of the Sunna (the example) of the Prophet (saw). The prophet was surrounded by many people who did not share his views, who were hostile to him etc. but still our beloved Prophet (saw) was nice and soft and friendly.

People around you are not even hostile to you. You as a muslim should set an example of proper behavior ( patience, friendliness, trustworthiness etc).

My question to you is: what if when you were non-muslim, you met a muslim who had so much 'hate' as you said you have, what would you think about this person and his religion?

Some people are not guided, some misguided. Some people are led astray by not believing in Allah, but others who believed may fall into other traps of satan.

Please, as a Muslim, try to follow the example of the Prophet (saw) and ask Allah to protect you from satan's whisperings.

Stay strong, stay blessed! and don't forget to lower you gaze

 

[Yousef83]

alfakirmali brother,amen amen amen.What big Allah (c.c) said amen.Allah knows I don't ask second time.
My problem psychological i know,i was not like that a person untill last year.I was just pitty them and my past life both.Now i have lost these feels because i cant see them but when i go to work at morning i again will feel so,its not new i have been living that for almost 1 year.I cant speak with anyone because they will laugh at me.I know only 3 people Muslim in Milano closer to me,but i live in Torino,sometimes have to go to bristol.
No any muslim in turin except me.I cant do friday pray because i cant find second Muslim here,I cant go to Milano every fridays.I'm completely lonely here,i speak myself in day.I lost all my friends here in 2 years.Ok its not reason that I converted Islam we cut connection,I dont want to do histrionics here or pitty myself but its reality.Reason is their life style dont fit on Muslim rules.They do go to drink in the evening,find a girl friend,going to have dinner but it consider pork,going to drink a coffee but their talking subjects not allowed for us,how can i spend time with them?
May Allah bless you,thanks alot,but u all speak about patience,i have been living alone for 2½ years,like im in a unknown island alone.I didnt have anyone invite me to his home and make me feel calm and explain everything,im thinking and solving everything myself here.If oneday one of urs will come to italy please let me know and i will show u what i have here.
Patience yes ...

 

[sazk]

if you are alone you and feel like that you should get married soon. scholars recommend marriage because it offers companionship and wards off many evils of society.

if you can't get married then try reading the Quran. I also live in a place where i have no relatives or family or friends for miles and miles. but i actually managed to break my loneliness by putting this in the back of my mind that Allah is with me. Allah is watching me. Allah has got my back. Allah will never leave me.

the translation of the Quran by Dr. Muhsin Khan was a big help. anytime i start feeling depressed i pick up the Quran and start reading it, the loneliness just magically disappears.

May Allah show you His mercy and you attain taqwa.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

,i have been living alone for 2½ years,like im in a unknown island alone.I didnt have anyone invite me to his home and make me feel calm and explain everything,im thinking and solving everything myself here.If oneday one of urs will come to italy please let me know and i will show u what i have here.
Patience yes ...

Brother, I really feel very sad for you but helpless because our distance. I know how you feel, just leave to Allah. I will dua to Allah to get you a perfect life partner soon.

Any brothers and sisters from Italy? If any I hope you can keep in touch with our brother insyAllah.

 

[sal12]

I don't have proper Muslim friends either. My 3 best friends aren't too bothered about Islam even though they are Muslim and yes it is hard to not have any proper Muslim friends but I still speak to those kinds of Muslims and non-muslims. I certainly don't hate any of them. What good is it going to do if I do start to hate on them?? It's not going to change them, it'll just make me feel the way you're feeling now - lonely, depressed,angry. I hang around with non-muslims a lot because I work with them and I do enjoy their company because I don't judge them. They've never actually talked about anything indecent in front of me, I mean not even with each other. They respect my beliefs and know that I don't drink and I can't eat certain foods. Do your non-muslim colleagues not respect you? Have they actually said anything to you about becoming Muslim? If they haven't then I think you should learn to accept them because feeling the way you do about them isn't going to change a thing. If I didn't have my non-muslim friends I'd be extremely lonely and I don't want that. It's not right to judge people on what they wear and what they eat and drink. I wouldn't like to be judged on eating only halaal food and wearing hijaaab and I'm sure non-muslims wouldnt like to be judged on what they wear and neither would Muslims (the ones that don't practise Islam). I am not having a go at you but I just think you should learn to accept it. It's only a problem if you start to become like them. I hope it becomes easier on you insha'allah!

 

[habib786]

Salaam,

My advice:

1. Lower your gaze

2. Lower your gaze

3. Lower your gaze

How do you know someone is wearing jeans unless you are looking brother? I wear jeans but they are extremely loose fitting and do not show my shape. I own very few clothes so my selection is limited. Tell me, would you hate me though I am trying my hardest to dress Islamically with what I have?

You cannot see a heart and you cannot hate anyone for any reason, especially not non-Muslim females because they do not follow the tenets of your religion. Instead you should feel great sadness for them as they are ignorant to their true value. They think wearing very little is "freedom" and have bought into Western brainwashing. These women are being slobbered over like a piece of meat and they don't even have the sense to know it's wrong.

You job as a Muslim man is to lower your gaze and repent when you feel desire. Worry about your own deen and leave the rest up to Allah.

Wasalaam

yes sister you are right ... one cannot help whatever is going around .. and the best way to go about it .. lower your gaze ..any you leaving your country i do not think its gonna be of much help ... make dua to Allah to make things better in your country and May Allah guide everyone...and as for you brother inshallah i pray that Allah make things easy for you .. just be patient and hang on .. and follow the deen .. and inshallah you will yourself see the change in you ....

Allah Hafiz