I'm upset!

[HappyMuslimah]

:salam2:

I feel really depressed. Ever since I was little, my mother has taught me the importance of progressing to a high standard academically. I was also told that I would have her support in any career I chose (within reason). So, anyway, fast forward ten years and I decided to undertake a Law degree. Its a fairly conservative choice, but given the current economic climate, very competitive. I love my course and don't regret doing it, despite my worries about not finding a job afterwards.

My family did not like my decision to study law, but I continued nevertheless. Now, one year in, all I ever hear is how I'll never get a job in this profession, and how I'll never make any money. I hate the fact that my mother seems to be a hypocrite and I hate the fact that she has the audacity to say 'I told you so' and I hate the fact that ... she seems to be waiting for me to fail. How am I suposed to believe in myself if she doesn't believe in me?

I've tried to be reasonable, I've tried to placate my mother and her worries, I've tried to block out her constant digs at my self-esteem. Now I'm off to shed a private, quiet, tears in my room.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh sister, pretty much, the only thing I can tell you at the moment is to try to bite through the pain, and by that, I mean that when your mother/family starts aggrivating you (or if anyone does), just try to calm yourself down, do something that can calm you down and make you feel better, such as listening to Surah Hadeed by Sheikh Sa'ad al Ghamdi (click here to listen!), and then when you've calmed down and stopped feeling so upset, think about your situation, and what you should do. Make dua to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla to help you, and give you with what HE feels is best for you, getting a job and working might not be the best thing for you to do in life, and so maybe that's why Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla is stopping it from happening? You might not always know.

That's all I can say sister, and also that whenever you feel upset, sad, depressed, angry, aggressive, (and etc.) then ALWAYS be in the Rememberance and Worship of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla, do whatever calms you down in that way, whether it's praying (Namaaz/Salaat, whatever you like calling it, LoL), listening to lectures, reading (to) or listening to Quran.

And another thing is that maybe getting a job in law might NOT be the best thing for you? That might be another possibility, and so maybe you should consider looking for another course to take? And another thing is that it's alright that you might not have made what you (or others) consider the right choice, but it's alright, because we're humans, and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla gave us (all) disabilities and imperfections, so that's why it's alright sister, you shouldn't feel angry at the decision that you made, and nor for the fact that everyone's talking a whole load of garbage about you sister, because we all are bound to make mistakes, and Alhamdulillah also (people would get REALLY obsessed or conceited if Allah Subhanahu Ta Alla made us perfect or close to that)!

And so sorry that my advice wasn't the best for you sister, please forgive me, and I ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla to also do so. And also sister please forgive me if I might have said something wrong or something that made you feel upset, hurt, or angry, because I never had the intention to do so, and so if it turned out that way, then please forgive me.

 

[Smile]

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

i dont think im on a position to give advices ...but i will say what I think ...

I believe your mother just worrying about you as any mother she wants the best for her child …but the way she is putting her worries is maybe the problem..u need to talk to her & be honest with her about ur career desires & dream & your way to achieve them ..

i believe that once she notice how thoughtful person u are & that u r so aware of taking the whole responsibility of your choice & knowing the pros & cons of your own choice ..then I think you will get her support …tell her that if you chose another major , you wont be happy , u wont do your best on it so when u will work u wont be successful ...

just do ur best in your current major with great grades & hopefully she will change her mind ….
plus finding a job these days no matter what major u r studying is difficult …cause when you have the degree they will ask for the experience and vice versa …when you have the experience they will ask for the degree …

tell her ..allah only knows if you will find a job or not …u cant predict the future …who knows what the coming days hold …& good luck …smile & be optimistic ..

 

[Isra]

:salam2:

I feel really depressed. Ever since I was little, my mother has taught me the importance of progressing to a high standard academically. I was also told that I would have her support in any career I chose (within reason). So, anyway, fast forward ten years and I decided to undertake a Law degree. Its a fairly conservative choice, but given the current economic climate, very competitive. I love my course and don't regret doing it, despite my worries about not finding a job afterwards.

My family did not like my decision to study law, but I continued nevertheless. Now, one year in, all I ever hear is how I'll never get a job in this profession, and how I'll never make any money. I hate the fact that my mother seems to be a hypocrite and I hate the fact that she has the audacity to say 'I told you so' and I hate the fact that ... she seems to be waiting for me to fail. How am I suposed to believe in myself if she doesn't believe in me?

I've tried to be reasonable, I've tried to placate my mother and her worries, I've tried to block out her constant digs at my self-esteem. Now I'm off to shed a private, quiet, tears in my room.

Wa alaikome salam sister

Have you ever heard the saying "Success is the best revenge?" Well not necessarily "revenge" in your case being that I dont believe for one moment your dear mother wishes anything bad for you. She is probably just being skeptical at this point in your career choice. The best way to prove her wrong AND make her so proud of you is to study and study and study as hard as you can and make yourself the best in your class. Once you find a great job and begin your career I am sure she will see how wrong she was about your choice.

Yes Law is a very competitive field but I believe that if you really want something you can achieve it. And you are Muslim so of course you will have Allah's help every step of the way. If you keep Allah's remembrance in your mind all the way nobody can make you fail. I will pray dua for your ultimate success my sister. May Allah's blessings be upon you. Ameen.

 

[Mathieu]

If you don't mind I'll post my two cents.

First of all, your mom is saying some non-sense. (Sorry for being rude). The domain of Law like the domain of Medicine is one of the best domain you could ever go in.

I have no idea from where you from but by reading you post it seems like your english is really good. Perhaps you're from America. After being done with your Maitrise. (I think it's master degree in english). You can apply for a lot of jobs easily. Lawyers are in high demands. Especially in the U.S. I want to go in Law to myself. Depending on what your study are you can go travel pretty much everywhere.

Example: I do a "Maitrise in Law" here in Quebec it's studying the 'Code Civil' with that I can go work in any country where they speak french. Plus I can get the "Common Law" where I can go study anywhere in Canada, and all the commowealth country.

I don't where you from but I'm pretty much sure that it looks like here in Canada. (Talking about education). So if your mom says that you won't find a job. She need to educate herself more about "Law".

Saying that you won't make a good salary ?

"Lawyers will all earn different amounts depending on the city, the types of clients served, and how much he or she is willing to work. However, family lawyers tend to be paid less than other types of lawyers. A reasonable range for a family lawyer in a medium to large city would be $100,000-$200,000. "

And that's working for other lawyers. If you have your own "Cabinet" you can make around $400,000 - $600,000. That's per year.

Anyways don't despair. You made a good choice by going in "Law" and if you don't like it you can always chance.

Good luck,

Salam,

Mathieu

 

[muslimsista234]

Assalam alaykum sister

i'm so sorry about wat your going through don't worry inshallah follow ur heart i kinda know how ya feel its jus that parents do want whats right for thier children but if you enjoy wat you are doing then thats fine to. I kinda had a similar problem to don't worry i enjoy wat i did and alhamdulilah i got through it so keep ur head up. I guess parents sometimes want you to do things that they feel is right, but every1 is unique and is blessed wiv diffrent skills There are sooooooo many jobs out there and Law is an excellent choice some of my family members are doin it, its worth it GO For It SIS take care sis x