Immigrant Marriage, Marriage of conveniences!

[Globalpeace]

Adhoc'ism!

Asslamo Allaikum Brother,

Brothers/Sisters are going through their lives in a many very Ad-hoc manner & I have a serious problem with Adhoc'ism. It doesn't matter whether you are a revert or a born-Muslim, Ad-hoc’ism is bad news. It means that someone has no sense of direction and no sense of purpose!

Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) setup the state of Madinah with defined boundaries, rules and regulations,; taxes were collected, wars waged, Dawah done in a very organised manner.

Political Science describes Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) as THE ONLY person in the history of mankind who thought (*), initiated (*), planned (*), executed (*)and exported (*)a COMPLETE REVOLUTION in a period of mere 22 years!

Then the Sahaba (RA) initiated, planned and constructed road-systems, postal-system, military cantonments, social systems etc. etc. etc.

We build the Taj Mahal & we build the first universities of Europe & we gave the world chemistry, physics, calculus, Algebra, medicine & everything else.
And now things have become so bad that…

We have Brothers/Sisters are saying that “When we want to get married; we just ask our friends and they introduce us to people…”

What sort of depth will be sink to? Our predecessors refined Astro-Physics & we have problems seeing the moon in 2007! If that doesn't make your blood boil; I don't know what would!

(*) These are the words of Kuffar; off course we Muslims believe that Allah (SWT) guided Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) to all these things!

Masha Allah...Very good proposals. The problem is that there is not a proper system. Everybody takes matters in their own hands.

 

[eemaan1]

:salam2:

k this might veer off topic abit... but hw is one who's in West meant to marry som1 u've only met twice or thrice? lets face it there's no dating in Islam.. and if ua family aint arranging the marriage, then u rely on friends (or mosque register) but u r not permitted to meet with the person to realy get to kno their personality and how they fit or dont fit with you...its a nightmares especialy for us unmarried ones who havnt got a clue what to do.. evry possibility is fraught with so many risks....

 

[Oem Soufiane]

:salam2:

k this might veer off topic abit... but hw is one who's in West meant to marry som1 u've only met twice or thrice? lets face it there's no dating in Islam.. and if ua family aint arranging the marriage, then u rely on friends (or mosque register) but u r not permitted to meet with the person to realy get to kno their personality and how they fit or dont fit with you...its a nightmares especialy for us unmarried ones who havnt got a clue what to do.. evry possibility is fraught with so many risks....

the way to get married in islam is you both believe the same things, you both live the life like muhamad saws did, and trust in Allah, there is no helper except Allah, for he is the best helper, sustainer, provider of all good. if you put your trust in Allah he will never ever let you down. He tops the help of parents. Let go of your fears in this life, truely He is our only helper!

 

[Globalpeace]

W-Salam,

Risks can be mitigated.

Uncertainty is the problem which is born straight out of an Adhoc-System

P.S: I am boring everyone so I will STOP ranting an shut up.

:salam2:

k this might veer off topic abit... but hw is one who's in West meant to marry som1 u've only met twice or thrice? lets face it there's no dating in Islam.. and if ua family aint arranging the marriage, then u rely on friends (or mosque register) but u r not permitted to meet with the person to realy get to kno their personality and how they fit or dont fit with you...its a nightmares especialy for us unmarried ones who havnt got a clue what to do.. evry possibility is fraught with so many risks....

 

[Oem Soufiane]

Please people trust in Allah, how can we doubt about what he decided for us! Allah will provide us with only good things when we trust in Him!

 

[eemaan1]

the way to get married in islam is you both believe the same things, you both live the life like muhamad saws did, and trust in Allah, there is no helper except Allah, for he is the best helper, sustainer, provider of all good. if you put your trust in Allah he will never ever let you down. He tops the help of parents. Let go of your fears in this life, truely He is our only helper!

i hear u sis, but still doesnt solve my dilema, what if the person is a nutter and a good way of hiding it? what if he's a good muslim upon the sunnah and all that but still ua personalities are poles apart?....i'm in a pickle!

 

[hussain.mahammed]

:salam2:

k this might veer off topic abit... but hw is one who's in West meant to marry som1 u've only met twice or thrice? lets face it there's no dating in Islam.. and if ua family aint arranging the marriage, then u rely on friends (or mosque register) but u r not permitted to meet with the person to realy get to kno their personality and how they fit or dont fit with you...its a nightmares especialy for us unmarried ones who havnt got a clue what to do.. evry possibility is fraught with so many risks....

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu sister
Please read the thread from page 1, Insha Allah Taala you will get an insight of what we are talking about. WE NEED TO HAVE A PROPER SYSTEM AND IMPLEMENT IT IN ORDER TO BEAR FRUITS.
wa/salam

 

[eemaan1]

W-Salam,

Risks can be mitigated.

Uncertainty is the problem which is born straight out of an Adhoc-System

P.S: I am boring everyone so I will STOP ranting an shut up.

oh no com on i think you shudnt stop ranting where's the fun in that no really i think u r raising issues that need to be discussed so please rant on..

 

[hussain.mahammed]

Please people trust in Allah, how can we doubt about what he decided for us! Allah will provide us with only good things when we trust in Him!

Allahu Akbar, I agree with you sister. The basic requirement everywhere is EEMAN. So hold on to it under any cirscumstances. We need to be steadfast and perseverous.

 

[hussain.mahammed]

There is a lecture by Daee Ahmed Moait
Please click here and watch the video.
wa/salam

 

[UmmOf3]

Salaam aleikum

I trust Allah, ofcourse, but I dont trust people.

 

[Globalpeace]

Choosing a Partner!

Asslamo Allaikum Sister,

If my ranting can help a Sister in Islam; then be it....usually I just annoy people!

A person can be an excellent Muslim BUT not compatible with you specifically.

A person willing to practise Islam sincerely is a GREAT starting point and SHOULD be the FIRST and FOREMOST starting point! But we all have likes/dislikes/personalities etc.

You ignore KUFF (compatibility) at your peril!

I posted a thread a few weeks ago about a scholar who came home and gave a talk and he talked about his time is taken up by Marriage breakdown between practising Muslims (Beards, Hijabds, Niqab). Note the words!

You will find marraiges breaking down everywhere & you will find a lot of the couples involved are Sincere, practising people!

Please read this thread…

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13053&highlight=marriage

i hear u sis, but still doesnt solve my dilema, what if the person is a nutter and a good way of hiding it? what if he's a good muslim upon the sunnah and all that but still ua personalities are poles apart?....i'm in a pickle!

 

[hussain.mahammed]

Salaam aleikum

I trust Allah, ofcourse, but I dont trust people.

walaikum as salam wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu
Ofcourse you trust Allah SUbhanahu wa Taala. But if you dont trust faithful Muslim brothers and sisters, then how will the Ummah stay united?
You cannot trust each and every Muslim, but regulate it based on how he or she follows Islam, his (or her) character, behaviour, manners etc. You trust your husband atleast sister ... lol
just kidding
wa/salam

 

[Oem Soufiane]

Pray istikhara and trust your feeling, because it will come from allah swt inshallah:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' "

If you take a big step like marriage by trusting in allah, this is carefully walking toward Allah swt, so you know he will come to you running.

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

salam

Asslamo Allaikum Brothers/Sisters,

How about the simple method of the local Mosques organising Sisters & Brothers to get married. ![/U]

...mmmm.....but then are they going to get their "papers" ??....that's what goes on their head....

 

[hussain.mahammed]

...mmmm.....but then are they going to get their "papers" ??....that's what goes on their head....

I dont understand why should we be looking if he (or she) wants papers or legal status in a Western Kafir country. This is a problem too, I dont mean to neglect or ignore it. But we should look at his(or her) character instead of just thinking that he wants to be a western citizen. If we have a prematured idea that the person is looking to get legal papers instead of marrying for the sake of Allah, we will not end up anywhere.
Put your trust in Allah, pray Istikhara. The posts till this page already give divergent views, its been discussed many times.
Please read from the first page the replies.
Jazakumullah khair
wa/salam