Immigrant Marriage, Marriage of conveniences!

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I have lived a large part of my life in the West and I have consistently seen people getting married to others; who exploit their partners to get a US/European passport.

Some samples:

I know a Pakistani-British Sister who has a postgraduate degree worked to feed her family during her youth (because her Brothers were smoking dope) and then her parents forced her to marry a Pakistani guy (cousin)…She worked as a professional, he worked in a factory. She never cheated or anything and had kids; He slept around! She got divorced and wanted to marry again & found someone herself but the parents and brothers (who now practise) tried to tell her that they don’t think that it will be good for the children; I gave the whole family some right lip about it and eventually she got married & is now happy. What the hell were the parents thinking when they told her to marry the first time?

I now revert Sisters who were conned into marrying by Pakistani scum bags for a US passport & later dumped with a kid (or two) for them to fly back and marry someone else!

I know Sisters who have married Brothers from overseas who think they OWN them and they control every single detail of their lives!

I know of Sisters who are full blown cheating on their husbands OPENLY and the husbands are tied up because of immigration issues.

What's my point:

So the questions are WHY-O-WHY do people consistently make mistakes?

I don’t know of ANY Muslim family in the West (Born or revert) who doesn’t personally know of a horror story like this?

WHY-O-WHY do brothers/sisters continue to fall for these traps? And how can we rescue people?

WHY-O-WHY parents force their sons/daughters into marrying someone who they can't possibly be happy with?

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

JazakAllah for sharing your experience . And plz dont hesitate to share more..
I didnt know that these things happen before i became a member of this forum...

i dont really know whats so great about US or UK or Europe that people really do this stuff...

Regarding your questions:

Education is the answer . We definitely need more people like you to do help people who might become victims....

Being forced by parents--> then the children has to do something by rejecting this marriage

Get the revert sisters to married a bit later after their reversion

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:

this is always my concern, especially for the revert sisters. because this happens way too often!! i won't label it as a scam ran exclusively pakistani. but it does happen by a lot of people from the middle east. it's important to know that realistically those guys weren't really muslim in the sense of the word. i think revert sisters are more victims because many of them feel or think that by marrying an arab or something they'll get more knowledge of islam, someone that'll teach them etc. most of these guys are wolves in sheeps clothing. for an american revert sister it's in her best interest to marry someone who is a citizen. his race doesn't matter, but if she doesn't want to be conned she needs to know his legal status. it's really sad that things have to be that way.

i see so many revert sisters that are single moms, because they married a foreigner that was only trying to gain citizenship, while at the same time indulging in his desires.

 

[Saifu deen]

Assalam Alykom

Jazak Allah Khair fpr this post.... I believe every Muslimah who fall to such problem must know how to defeat a force marriage, and that by showing the family what our Holy Qur'an tell us about marriage, and what our prophet(PBUH) told us about marriage.

I dont understand, why men can marry a female that isnt happy to be with them in the first place. If its to obtain a citizinship in that particular country, there is victims in this marriage, the wife, and the childern. Marriage is to find the other female partner that I want to spend the rest of my life with, help each other in the Ups & downs in this life, and help each other to go to paradise not for citizinship, a female to wake me up in Fajar prayers if I missed it, not to have a sexual relationship behind my back.... La Hola Wa La Qowata Ila Bilah....

Unless we go back to the Qur'an and Sunnah, and teach our elders (because they stick by the culture more than Sunnah)....

If every family, gather together for at least an hour every week, reading Qur'an, and Hadieths. Everyweek, a member of the family chooses a subject to discuss with the family showing the evidence from the Qur'an and Sunnah. Therefore, sisters should choose to discuss the principles of marriage, and teachs our elders about forced marriages indirectly (first) and the punishment of such a act upon them (indirectly).... I believe this an indirectly solution, because many elders do not appreciate direct comments, and direct teachings.... Sisters should not wait for the last minute, when decision is made, and the best way to avoid it is by education as my brother alkhathiri mentioned.

Wassalam ALykom...

 

[Globalpeace]

Forced Marriage?

Asslamo Allaikum,

You guys are making some great points but how does a Revert Muslimah get forced into marrying someone? Born-Muslimah, yes…family pressures etc.

Keep your points coming, Insha'Allah.

 

[alkathiri]

Asslamo Allaikum,

You guys are making some great points but how does a Revert Muslimah get forced into marrying someone? Born-Muslimah, yes…family pressures etc.

Keep your points coming, Insha'Allah.

I guess revert muslima is because maybe they need financial support, or they are emotionally unstable. furthermore some of them are being thrown out by their family.

Solution: We need NGOs to support these people with bro GP as the CEO.
Funds: Maybe can get from mosque instead of building a large mosque in London , how many can u get for normal prayers . Only during Eid u see , wow, lots of people . How many Eids do we have....2

 

[junaid hasan]

Funds: Maybe can get from mosque instead of building a large mosque in London , how many can u get for normal prayers . Only during Eid u see , wow, lots of people . How many Eids do we have....2

why brother we are behind this mosque as many of christians dont wanna see such mosque.will the 100 million pound change whole the problem of muslims we have? Allah has given us only 100 million pound and we are using this just to build a mosque? There are 1000 of millioniers now a days are muslim.Or even we can find the Princess of Brunei how he uses his money.ANd there is also a video which is loaded by brother powerofislam about the riches people of middleeast.The time of sahaba mosque was full and 100% people pray their salat in mosque.Thousends of people converting in islam and also same amount of people muslims coming back again in mosque.If the muslims of dhaka city come to pray for salat then we have to build 3 time more mosque as now give in dhaka city, allthough dhaka is called as city mof musques.Can we build every day a new mosque?Sorry i dont wanna chage the topic. There are a lot of issues like this are happening infront of our eyes and i hope i should watch more about my self that how much am i doing for islam and for my jannah.

 

[alkathiri]

why brother we are behind this mosque as many of christians dont wanna see such mosque.will the 100 million pound change whole the problem of muslims we have? Allah has given us only 100 million pound and we are using this just to build a mosque? There are 1000 of millioniers now a days are muslim.Or even we can find the Princess of Brunei how he uses his money.The time of sahaba mosque was full and 100% people pray their salat in mosque.Thousends of people converting in islam and also same amount of people muslims coming back again in mosque.If the muslims of dhaka city come to pray for salat then we have to build 3 time more mosque as now give in dhaka city, allthough dhaka is called as city mof musques.Can we build every day a new mosque?Sorry i dont wanna chage the topic. There are a lot of issues like this are happening infront of our eyes and i hope i should watch more about my self that how much am i doing for islam and for my jannah.

Why dont we build a smaller mosque...like for 20000 people

 

[junaid hasan]

Brother mashallah you guess are making worry about non-muslims and hope they will come also in islam in next few years.

IF every year more then 5000 people come to islam where you will put them?In our villa or in the palast of dubai sheikhs for pray?In next 10 year you need some mosques for 50000.When the time of sahaba the mosques of makka and madina was not so big like now and there was also not so many population now. but if we denie that 5000 non-muslim will not come in islam the we are allready hopeless.And hopeless people can never be succes.According to the hadith of prophet (sw) theat in each and every house islam will get in.
I think as a muslim we dont have any problem with big mosque but problem with the 100 million pound and i will just refer my brothers to have a watch on the richest shiekhs of the world´s video.Then should making effort to tell them or advice them or to bring them to spend their moneys on the way of allah.

 

[justoneofmillion]

Why dont we build a smaller mosque...like for 20000 people

i agree brother,what about the iraqi refugees and espescially the sisters don`t wanna say more yall know what am talking abt hewre there is a big missmanagement it seems to me we do not havr to stenghten and multiply the buildings but we have to set the platforms for multiplying strong and well educated sons and daughters of the ummah the body of the ummah as a whole a muslim brother is more important than gold,silver or castles we need to define our priorities there..........

wassalam

 

[junaid hasan]

Well 100 of olama´s of ahlee sunnah wal jammah are behind this project and the situation of ummah they have also infront their eyes and and their are worried also about that more then us or (only me).The time will bring the pro and contra of their plan.

 

[Saifu deen]

In the case of Revert muslimah, I dont believe they are forced into marriage. They were simply a victim of stupid game played by citizinship seeker. Muslims believe that Revert Muslimah are the easiest target for citizinship(With all my respect to all my revert sisters), because they want to marry someone who is good in religion. I believe that the temptation of some revert muslimah into Islam can be part of the whole issue. May be they can not wait to marry islamically (because they are impressed by the women's rights in Islam, thinking that majority of muslims give the women her right according to Islam, not knowing many muslims lack this major responsibility), but today marrying someone islamically isnt enough, there must be long and long discussins to find out the person's personality, NEEDS, his motive behind the marriage, and so on!!!!..

I believe revert muslimah may lack this procedure before the marriage, they may lack the methods to test the other partner before accepting them (because the other partner has different idealogy, may be because they have a better knowledge about islam (Impressed by their islamic knowledge may lead to quick interest(fatal interest), interest may lead to lack of testing, and lack of testing may lead to his citizinship) basically he knows his way around to trick them. But I am not one of them just in case anyone may wonder..looool).

Please read ''Pakistan, U.K. Target Forced Marriages''
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/29/ap/world/mainD8JQ2IRO0.shtml

wassalam alykom

 

[Globalpeace]

Born-Muslimahs

Asslamo Allaikum,

Revert Muslimahs are pocket-change in this story; whats happening with hundreds/thousands of Born-Muslimahs?

Whats happening with Brothers; they are also affected you know by "Slick Sisters"?

 

[Saifu deen]

Well, I reckon its just the same with the slick sisters. For example a man travelled to africa for a holiday. He had a digital camera (digital camera is a proof that this person is here for a holiday from somewhere in the world). Many females would dress up so beautifully just to attract this brother in order to fall of them. Many of them had the guts to approach him and ask for his number. He fall for it. Wow she was slick in her ways, he was convinced that she is the one somehow. Although he was warned by his family that this is just a typical trick by the females to live in the west and to obtain their citizinship by getting married with him. He ignored every single suggestion and guidance by the elders, cousins, sisters, and brothers.

He got married, in a few months time he brought her to the U.K (she was still kind at that point). Once she got pregnant, she decided to get her own place (she is well aware of her rights in U.K).. He agreed so quickly and moved in her apartment. She convinced him to complete the citizinship quickly before her baby is due, because her first baby and she must have her first baby next to her mother back home (Slick Sista). Once everything is sorted, apartement, citizinship, and a baby, he is not going to be the apprentice no more, he was simply fired. He came back from work, found all his cloths in front the door, and a note saying ''appreciate your help, that was wonderful, you got what you deserve''.... Spice Girls and destiny child did so much damage in Africa....loooooool...

 

[Muslimah-S]

Well, I reckon its just the same with the slick sisters. For example a man travelled to africa for a holiday. He had a digital camera (digital camera is a proof that this person is here for a holiday from somewhere in the world). Many females would dress up so beautifully just to attract this brother in order to fall of them. Many of them had the guts to approach him and ask for his number. He fall for it. Wow she was slick in her ways, he was convinced that she is the one somehow. Although he was warned by his family that this is just a typical trick by the females to live in the west and to obtain their citizinship by getting married with him. He ignored every single suggestion and guidance by the elders, cousins, sisters, and brothers.

He got married, in a few months time he brought her to the U.K (she was still kind at that point). Once she got pregnant, she decided to get her own place (she is well aware of her rights in U.K).. He agreed so quickly and moved in her apartment. She convinced him to complete the citizinship quickly before her baby is due, because her first baby and she must have her first baby next to her mother back home (Slick Sista). Once everything is sorted, apartement, citizinship, and a baby, he is not going to be the apprentice no more, he was simply fired. He came back from work, found all his cloths in front the door, and a note saying ''appreciate your help, that was wonderful, you got what you deserve''.... Spice Girls and destiny child did so much damage in Africa....loooooool...

I hate it when someone does that to someone. It makes me so angry!!!!:angryred:
May Allah protect us from deception and guide to what is best in relation to our religion, life and end. AMEEN

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

boh

:salam2:

Yes,I have seen things like this happening around me and....still happening!
I really don't know what people see in US or Europe.....I really don't know!
Some of them are like born "sick" to get "the passport"!.

I know some of them that are using the excuse that they don't want marry women from their original country....that's why they are looking for the "european"....oh come on!!....You are looking for the european and when you think of her you imagine,instead than her head,a passport!....and back home lots of women are crying to get marriage and Allah knows what this can change into... :astag: I've had enough of this story!!

:salam2:

 

[Saifu deen]

Assalam Alykom

May Allah help us all...

 

[justoneofmillion]

assalam,this is why i guess Allah swt told us not to mistake this life with paradise and hold on to earthly desires!allah swt

ps.however i have found the solution i had to choose between not marrying at all or polygamy i believe now that i might go for four inschallah.

 

[Oem Soufiane]

assalam,this is why i guess Allah swt told us not to mistake this life with paradise and hold on to earthly desires!allah swt

ps.however i have found the solution i had to choose between not marrying at all or polygamy i believe now that i might go for four inschallah.

so its none or 4? you can always have one, know the rights of your wifes, and be aware of your responsabilities i'd say. I know sisters with a husband and a second wife, it really works if it is all islamicly correct. They live in seperate houses. I know from them, that their husbands think it is really enough to have two wifes, financially, and with all the responsabilities, taking the wifes everywhere, taking care of the kids. Just know, it's not all fun.

 

[justoneofmillion]

so its none or 4? you can always have one, know the rights of your wifes, and be aware of your responsabilities i'd say. I know sisters with a husband and a second wife, it really works if it is all islamicly correct. They live in seperate houses. I know from them, that their husbands think it is really enough to have two wifes, financially, and with all the responsabilities, taking the wifes everywhere, taking care of the kids. Just know, it's not all fun.

wa aleikum assalam,we know all of that.... may allah swt make it easy for us not to transgress his limits and always be just and loyal in our decisions to take the responsabilities.... sis nobody is talking abt fun here got my reasons..! with my full respect to you jazakallahu khair

wassalam