Is it wrong to be assertive?

[Frank_H_Smith]

I was having a dispute with my bank. M&T, over their refusal to assist me in disputing some debits which were made against my account either without my authorization or premature in advance of the date agreed upon in the contract.

Their response was it wasn't the banks fault; consequently, they were under no obligation to assist me. I asked did that mean that anyone could charge my account and they were free of any liability. They basically told me that I shouldn't give out my card number. (Which would make it hard to use!)

I complained about their software deducting debits in descending order of amount prior to posting credits regardless of the chronological order that the bank received them. They responded that I should probably take my account somewhere else.

What caused me to become irritated with this attitude is that when I sold a business and moved to a new area, I was treated with great respect and hospitality upon opening an account with just under $100,000 dollars. Now that I am disabled and living on a small income, I am treated as an annoyance.

I know that Allah forbids usury, but it is difficult to conduct personal or business affairs without a bank account.

Is it wrong for a Muslim to be assertive, and, perhaps, a bit angry when having to deal with unethical, deceitful, and devious individuals or institutions? I was not disrespectful, I simply asserted myself and explained that most people have 500 individuals who will come to their wedding and funeral and that a dissatisfied customer will result in at least 500 people hearing about the poor or unsatisfactory service or product.

The Prophet Jesus (PBUH) is alleged to have taught non-opposition to evil doers and violence.

 

[hana*]

there is a hadeeth that says that the strong Muslim is better and more beloved to Allah than a weak Muslim. so yes it is good to be assertive, especially in this day and age (as long as it does not cause oppression) and ofcourse you were absolutely correct to speak up.

I dont know about banks in the US, but here in the UK, its the banks responsibility to refund when they know that money was withdrawn by a third party wrongfully or before the agreed date, as is in your case.

with regards to usury- perhaps you could switch to using a direct debit card rather that a credit card? how about islamic banking if it exists in your area? most definately change banks though.

hang on in there- you have Allah on your side.

 

[drimi]

The Prophet Jesus (PBUH) is alleged to have taught non-opposition to evil doers and violence.

Please don't call Isa a.s ,as Jesus because his real name is Isa a.s.

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu 'Alaykum, Brother Drimi, My apologies for using the English name for the Greek name. I usually used Yeshua, Yeshu, Y'shua, or The Hebrew Equivalent for Yod, Shin, Vav, and Ayin: Yehoshua . However, if these and the English name Jesus are offensive, I have no problem using Isa (Arabic script عيسى). I was once told that it is incorrect to translate a name into another language and that the name should be spoken in the original language of the person of whom or to whom one is speaking. But, it wouldn't be the first time that I was wrong. I used the translation Jesus to more easily identify the prophet, Isa (PBUH) of whom I spoke. Ana asif.

سُوۡرَةُ آل عِمرَان

إِذۡ قَالَتِ ٱلۡمَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةُ يَـٰمَرۡيَمُ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُبَشِّرُكِ بِكَلِمَةٍ۬ مِّنۡهُ ٱسۡمُهُ ٱلۡمَسِيحُ عِيسَى ٱبۡنُ مَرۡيَمَ وَجِيهً۬ا فِى ٱلدُّنۡيَا وَٱلۡأَخِرَةِ وَمِنَ ٱلۡمُقَرَّبِينَ (٤٥) وَيُڪَلِّمُ ٱلنَّاسَ فِى ٱلۡمَهۡدِ وَڪَهۡلاً۬ وَمِنَ ٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ (٤٦) قَالَتۡ رَبِّ أَنَّىٰ يَكُونُ لِى وَلَدٌ۬ وَلَمۡ يَمۡسَسۡنِى بَشَرٌ۬*!ۖ قَالَ ڪَذَٲلِكِ ٱللَّهُ يَخۡلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُ*!ۚ إِذَا قَضَىٰٓ أَمۡرً۬ا فَإِنَّمَا يَقُولُ لَهُ ۥ كُن فَيَكُونُ (٤٧) وَيُعَلِّمُهُ ٱلۡكِتَـٰبَ وَٱلۡحِڪۡمَةَ وَٱلتَّوۡرَٮٰةَ وَٱلۡإِنجِيلَ (٤٨)

Al-E-Imran
(And remember) when the angels said: O Mary! Lo! Allah giveth thee glad tidings of a word from him, whose name is the Messiah, Jesus, son of Mary, illustrious in the world and the Hereafter, and one of those brought near (unto Allah). (45) He will speak unto mankind in his cradle and in his manhood, and he is of the righteous. (46) She said: My Lord! How can I have a child when no mortal hath touched me? He said: So (it will be). Allah createth what He will. If He decreeth a thing, He saith unto it only: Be! and it is. (47) And He will teach him the Scripture and wisdom, and the Torah and the Gospel, (48)

Bother Drimi, It seems like it is an accepted practice to use the English name when speaking and writing in English. I hope this doesn't offend you as that is not my purpose. I am simply hoping to reach an understanding that we must be very careful in our assertions to avoid confusion and misinformation. Peace, My Brother

 

[hana*]

As Salamu 'Alaykum, Brother Drimi, My apologies for using the English name for the Greek name. I usually used Yeshua, Yeshu, Y'shua, or The Hebrew Equivalent for Yod, Shin, Vav, and Ayin: Yehoshua . However, if these and the English name Jesus are offensive, I have no problem using Isa (Arabic script عيسى). I was once told that it is incorrect to translate a name into another language and that the name should be spoken in the original language of the person of whom or to whom one is speaking. But, it wouldn't be the first time that I was wrong. I used the translation Jesus to more easily identify the prophet, Isa (PBUH) of whom I spoke. Ana asif.

there is no harm in using the name Jesus, people tend to fault-pick on trivial issues and forget the main concepts.

your arabic is coming along nicely, gosh before soon your arabic will be better that mine.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother you bring out a very good point. The invisible caste system. If we are not one of the beautiful people we are treated differently. In a sense Jim Crow is alive and well. Welcome to my world.

On a spiritual level it is a blessing. I am assertive. I am very polite but I will get my point across. I never belittle the person. I take the time to point out the errors in the system. One of my favorites is my cable company. We have to pay one month ahead not in arrears. So I ask how can I be delinquent when I have paid for the services received.

The working poor and the poor pay a whole lot more; for everything. As a Believer I point out how it hurts everyone on all levels.

But keep the faith. In a sense it is a minor jihad. We fight little shytans to make it easier on all of creation.

 

[rightpath_357]

You GUYZZZZZZZ!!!!! Thiss is about HELPING someone with BANK stuff- not discussing how to say stuff!!!!!:lol:

For brother- you must be assertive, calm, but firm with them.Tell them that you will NOT pay the debits because you didn't use that much money. (You didn't- right?)

I'll du'aa for you bro.
Salam

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu Alaykum, Shokran for your responses.

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

Brother Drimi

Post moved to a new thread

 

[hana*]

Frank: you are absolutley correct and yes, the english version of the Quran states Jesus, it also states Moses, John etc as it is the english version. there is no harm in saying this. People tend to be over-critical and too judgmemental, sadly (which is not healthy for Islam and in representing it).

sadly the replier missed the main point of your thread. I hope your bank dilemma is eased soon inshaAllah

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

Sister Hana, My banking problem will be resolved this coming Wednesday when I have concluded all my business with that bank and can close my accounts. I already opened an account at another bank; consequently, it will be a short goodbye to the bank. I did contact my government representative about the practice of posting debits in descending order of amount prior to posting credits with no regard to the chronological order in which they were received by the bank. There were a few posts indicating that the practice would be illegal as of June 2010 and there are a few class action suits in the making against those banks which use the practice.

I am seriously thinking about relocating to a large town/city that has more Muslims and a Mosque. The area in which I live now is where I was raised by my adopted parents. It is economically depressed, xenophobic, and because it was used as a dumping ground for New York and New Jersey for several decades has very poor water and air quality. We only moved back to this area because my father was alone and suffering from dementia. Unfortunately, he had dementia for quite a while; and, consequently, by the time we moved back here my father had been cheated out of most of his money, his home, and his business. The ironic thing is that unless the individuals responsible had or do repent of this to Allah, they will experience a Judgment far worse than any court system.

I have tried to live my life in a way that when I stand before the Judgment Throne on Allah's Day of Judgment, it will be a day of thanksgiving, praise, and worship and not a day of gnashing of teeth and tears.

Alhamdulillah! Alahu Akbar; Alahu Akbar; Alahu Akbar!

 

[hana*]

alhamudulilah that your Bank problem will be resolved soon. actually that is a great idea to move somewhere where there are more Muslims and inshaAllah you will find someone who can help you in Quran recitation. Perhaps your father can come with you (?) i understand dementia is a very difficult situation for the family, may Allah give you patience and strength.

There is so much corruption and injustice going on in the world, so alhamdulilah that on the day of judgement, not a soul will be wronged. Whoever does an atoms weight of good will see it and whoever does and atoms weight of evil will be recompensated for it.

I feel our hearts (myself first and foremost) have become hard from the reality of the day of judgement and hell fire. Hell-fire will be brought forward on the day of judgement with 70,000 chains, each chain held by 70,000 angels! a stone was thrown into hell-fire, it took 70 years to reach the bottom. I dont think we can fully comprehend the reality.

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu Alaykum, Actually, my father died at age 86 two years ago. We were able to spend the last three years of his life with him.. It was a Blessing. He lived in the same apartment building as we did and was therefore able to spend most of his day with my wife. She loved hm like a father and enjoyed cooking for him and cleaning his home. I took care of his personal care. It was nice to be able to have that time with him. alhamdulillah!

I personally fear only The Anger of Allah. The Bible is full of scriptures which says that if we please Allah we have nothing to fear for He will be our refuge and protection.

I heard that mothers will often joke with their small children that one of their angels have been very busy writing and they wonder which one it was. I could picture my mother saying such a thing to me when I was a child.

My adopted parents were precious people. I have been so blessed to have had and have so many people in my life who have contributed so much joy. Parents, Brother and Sisters, Children and of course, my wife who is the most precious of all. Alhamdullillah! Allahu Akbar!