Marry If You Can, Otherwise Fast‏

[al-fajr]

Assalaam alaikum,

On this website we have had members contact me. I in turn contact the wali of the bride;

Brother Tic Tac Toe, thank you for keeping this serious.

Woah I didn't see this till now, hold up ..

Whilst this may have happened unknown to the Mod team and Admin, the policy is that it is not allowed, we don't condone it and if it occurs openly on threads then it's stopped.

I hope members respect forum policy and don't abuse the PM system in this way, I wont judge people's decisions to use the internet for such purposes, (what people choose in life is their own decision!), but if you are on TTI then the basic expectations is to respect the rules we have in place, inshaAllah.

Wa-alaykum assalam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

Sister,

In no way would I ever attempt to breech the policy on the forum.

In an innocent manner I have had several brothers contact me to know if I knew of someone. Given my age they just trusted me. I learned a lesson and I have written about it. Most families want to marry their daughters to a man from the home of the parents. Thus, I am a complete and utter failure as a marriage maker.

I will not do it again as I gleaned the complications in setting up a Muslim marriage. The obstacles in the way are deep. The situations are irrational and the parents are fearful.

The issue is trust. And most parents do not trust outside of their worlds.

 

[PeacefulHumanity]

:salam2:

Most families want to marry their daughters to a man from the home of the parents.

It's sad how insular the old world cultures can be. If everyone thought that marrying within your village/tribe was the only way to go, Islam would never have made it out of Mecca and Medina. We should embrace diversity.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

Trust me I know.

But, we are all so scared. The Prophet, swas, gave us an example.

 

[Abu-Talha]

:salam2:



Allah has honoured and dignified a Muslim woman and the honour which has been bestowed upon her in Shariah should be respected. She isn’t a “toy” which can be played around with and disposed when a person gets tired of it. When someone is interested in a Sister then let him approach her Wali and ask for her hand in marriage and let the Sister conduct the proceedings through a Wali as this is the honour and safety which Shariah has granted her.

In case of Sisters who don’t have a man within immediate family (father, brother, son etc) or the men within their family are stopping her from completing her Deen due to unreasonable and unIslamic reasons then she has the right to appoint a knowledgeable, pious upstanding and moral brother who has good community standing as her Wali to conduct proceedings on her behalf.

Its the same procedure for first or second or third or fourth wife, unfortunately many break the Sunnah engage in unIslamic and illicit contact with Sisters (who are vulnerable) and then justify and Halal'ise this contact in the form of taking her as a second wife.

If someone wants to take a second wife then let him be a person of Sunnah and stand up for her (in the community), a 2nd wife isn't a dirty secret which needs to be hidden away somewhere and a lot of this is happening in our community particularly with vulnerable Sisters!

sah, jazak Allah khayran

 

[Mairo]

Masha Allah - Shukran for the thread and the great posts, excellent advice on Islamic matters, as can always be expected from members of TTI

Wasalaam