Hi
I married my moroccan husband last month, and sadly found out a few weeks ago that he cheated on me while we were engaged.
This has been a really hard time for me. I myself am not very religious although my family is muslim. He sees himself as a muslim and believes in its teachings and normally does his prayers and is generous to the poor etc, although he drinks and has had sex before marriage with other girls - he feels that the things he does wrong are between himself and Allah... i don't fully understand but I just accept that he knows he has done wrong.
I feel particularly hurt as he is the one who brought up marriage and encouraged it, he said that he wanted our relationship to be halal (as we had also been sleeping together before marriage). I was reluctant to marry quickly, but accepted that religion is important to him and this is largely what influenced me to agree after knowing him for just 6 months.
We met in morocco last may (I am british) I visited him a few times then went back to live with him for 3 months, and were engaged by November last year. I came back to the UK and continued to visit him every few months, and we were married in november this year.
I found out just after our honeymoon that he slept with someone in morocco in january. she was a tourist and they had sex three times, he had also been drinking. I found emails and he denied it. i contacted her and she sent me proof and he continued to deny it. he eventually admitted it but said it was before we met, then before we were engaged, and finally yes while we were engaged.
i feel so angry with him, especially because now we are already married and i didn't know this before. i know that him sleeping with me before marriage is already wrong in islam, i just feel like him then sleeping with someone else when he is already engaged... i just hate him for it! especially after using islam as a reason for us to marry!!!
he tells me that he visited an imam after he cheated on me and explained - and the imam said that sex before marriage is always haram, with me or with this other girl. but that now to look forward, the most important thing is that he takes care of me and makes me happy from when we are married and as his wife. it's almost like saying everything was wrong before marriage, just be right from now on!
i'm not sure if he really visited an imam, i don't mean to doubt him but he has lied so much already.
He is from morocco and an arabic and muslim background. I am british and am not so familiar with islamic beliefs. can i really believe that somewhere in him he believes that after marriage he will never do me wrong? He has already done so many things against islamic teachings - but i know in his heart he does believe in islam.
i was just wondering as i wasn't sure what to make of this 'advice' he says he received from the imam, or if i should even give him any credibility as a good muslim because all i see now is a big hypocrite.
sorry for my woeful tale of bad things, i still look forward to hearing responses from an islamic point of view.
thanks
I married my moroccan husband last month, and sadly found out a few weeks ago that he cheated on me while we were engaged.
This has been a really hard time for me. I myself am not very religious although my family is muslim. He sees himself as a muslim and believes in its teachings and normally does his prayers and is generous to the poor etc, although he drinks and has had sex before marriage with other girls - he feels that the things he does wrong are between himself and Allah... i don't fully understand but I just accept that he knows he has done wrong.
I feel particularly hurt as he is the one who brought up marriage and encouraged it, he said that he wanted our relationship to be halal (as we had also been sleeping together before marriage). I was reluctant to marry quickly, but accepted that religion is important to him and this is largely what influenced me to agree after knowing him for just 6 months.
We met in morocco last may (I am british) I visited him a few times then went back to live with him for 3 months, and were engaged by November last year. I came back to the UK and continued to visit him every few months, and we were married in november this year.
I found out just after our honeymoon that he slept with someone in morocco in january. she was a tourist and they had sex three times, he had also been drinking. I found emails and he denied it. i contacted her and she sent me proof and he continued to deny it. he eventually admitted it but said it was before we met, then before we were engaged, and finally yes while we were engaged.
i feel so angry with him, especially because now we are already married and i didn't know this before. i know that him sleeping with me before marriage is already wrong in islam, i just feel like him then sleeping with someone else when he is already engaged... i just hate him for it! especially after using islam as a reason for us to marry!!!
he tells me that he visited an imam after he cheated on me and explained - and the imam said that sex before marriage is always haram, with me or with this other girl. but that now to look forward, the most important thing is that he takes care of me and makes me happy from when we are married and as his wife. it's almost like saying everything was wrong before marriage, just be right from now on!
i'm not sure if he really visited an imam, i don't mean to doubt him but he has lied so much already.
He is from morocco and an arabic and muslim background. I am british and am not so familiar with islamic beliefs. can i really believe that somewhere in him he believes that after marriage he will never do me wrong? He has already done so many things against islamic teachings - but i know in his heart he does believe in islam.
i was just wondering as i wasn't sure what to make of this 'advice' he says he received from the imam, or if i should even give him any credibility as a good muslim because all i see now is a big hypocrite.
sorry for my woeful tale of bad things, i still look forward to hearing responses from an islamic point of view.
thanks