muslim vs christian friend :(

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
Inshallah, please help me settle a dispute between my long term christian friend that I may or maynot have caused...I often forward msgs to ALL ppl on my friend list, I screen what I may feel to be offensive to the ones that are firm to thier faith, the msgs that I do send usually have a motivational sense to it or like somthing beneficial to the reader of all, however they may have an islamic ground to it....which I myself would jus ignore if I was to recieve it, but read the just of the msg or replace jesus with Allah, if u get my point..The background of our friendship is from childhood, I used to attend ALL church functions with her from bible study, sunday school, and christian camp as well, so ofcouse the family was already quite suprise when I became muslim Alhamdulilah. As adults we only speak through text and email, occassionaly see each other in the neighborhood when I visit my umm. THE PROBLEM.... she claim that I offend her, and her choice of words were kinda off, so I did apologize to her while also confronting the underling msg that I cought, so I offerd to tell her about islam if she had any questions I would be happy to answer her, and I signed "a cure for ignorance is to ask" and that must has mad her pretty upset, becuz she told me her brother has a degree in theology and she would ask him if she had any questions and I can debate with him hes qualified to do so and she is fine until jesus takes her home,....I got alil snidy and sent her a smiling ecard and basically in a nut shell suggested that she needed to smile becus she blew things outa line, hense I now know that she feels that I offened her a few times and she jus decided to address it and that i have become so rightous that I dont realize when Im being judgemental and hurtful....ouch!!!!:astag:.....im lost by this last email of hers and I kinda feel that she maybe right, or not but how many times can I apologize or ???? what can I do? should I respond? how? sorry for the long post.....:shymuslima1:
 

revert2007

Love Fishing
Well sis I do not see it as a big deal when someone forward messages to us.Before I convert to islam my friends used to forwards messages to me regarding islam but i didn't take it seriously because i know it is forwarded messages.It is not directly for me but for whomever on her list.

Your friend is not in a condition to listen to u about Islam.She has hatred in herself so plz do not proceed with ur dawah action at the moment towards her.things will ge worse.talk about islam when people want to listen.when they give the sign the are bored or they are no longer interested anymore..you should stop.

dawah means conveying Allah's message.How can we convey when they are not ready to listen.


i suggest that u make an address book just with ur muslim friends' add and forward the messages to them only.

no one will accept when people say their religion is false.truth always hurt i know.but we have to prepare them to accept the truth.

i suggest that try to get her contact back.remember the sweet moments u hv gone through.buy something she likes and send to her.we never know if she is the chosen one as well.so u should try ur best to convey the message in a unique way.

tell her what islam thinks about Jesus and what we believe in.there are many things christinas do not know about islam and they are surpris ewhen we say we believe in Jesus,adn jesus is the messiah and so on.
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
shurkran sis revert, to convey that very msg is what I was aiming when I offered to her if she would like to know about islam but her answer was her brother has a degree in theology and if she had any questions she would ask him....soo I guess your saying do not respond to her last email?....
 

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh:D

My oppinion is, what sister Revert2007 said, send those kind of emails to your Muslim sisters. Many find it offensive to have massges about Islam forwarded to them when we KNOW that they are not Muslims. I think your friend felt like you're forcing her in someway (with the emails been forwarded). It's hard for many non-Muslims to swallow the truth when it has come to them. Give her a break, and just be her old friend. Be the girl she grew grew up with, and the friend she always had fun with. Put the Dawah behind for awhile. Spend time with her, have dinner, coffee, and just girl talk about things other than Islam. Show her the beauty of ISlam threw your character.....it's the BEST way to give dawah!
and YES! do reply to her, admit that you were wrong for forwarding such emails, appoligise and continue your friendship with her BUT this time STRENGETHEN it! dont just email one another or text, hang out, invite her to your house etc:D
inshaAllah, Allah will open up her heart and she will be your *SISTER* in Islam:D

and please keep this in mind: Allah guides whom He [swt] wills.....:D
 

OsMaN_93

Here to help
:salam2:

lol, that's quite funny. I think by indirectly calling her ''ignorant,'' wasn't a great move. Learn from your mistakes (life experience) - is what i say to myself and whoever I give advice to.

I don't know about her attitude, leave her alone for a couple of weeks, to chill. Then speak to her again, be careful what you say. Try not to be annoying by asking her tense questions, like ''so, do you want to know about islam'' - leave it till later. Say something like 'hope you enjoyed xmas holiday' - you know her more than me, you should know what to say. :)

Try to become a close friend, start by talking about broad issues, then become more detailed about your and her life. Try not to freak her out lol, speak to her a couple of times, until you feel she is comfortable with you. That is a GREAT advantage if you are trying to invite her to Islam.

peace.

I <3 you :)
 

revert2007

Love Fishing
shurkran sis revert, to convey that very msg is what I was aiming when I offered to her if she would like to know about islam but her answer was her brother has a degree in theology and if she had any questions she would ask him....soo I guess your saying do not respond to her last email?....

Well am not saying that do not respond to her last me-mail infact I want u to respond but not in the aim of dawah.

Be her good buddy again.as i said u need to gain her trust and for the time being,dance to her tune.

Forget about the religion for the time being.I guess ur a revert so learn abit about doing dawah to christinas from lectures like Sheikh Ahmed Deedat,and Yusuf Estes.at least u will get some knowledge to debate with her later on.

Now ur firts step should be gaining her trust and make her comfortable with ur presence.

Just send an e-mail sayinh that u applogise from the bottom of ur heart and u didn't realise that u forwarded those messages to her.Ur intention is not to offend anyone but it was part of islamic way of telling the truth to ur Muslim friends.quote the hadith where Muhamad pbuh said:

[FONT=TimesNewRoman,Italic]
Convey from me, even if it be only a single verse[FONT=TimesNewRoman,Italic][FONT=TimesNewRoman,Italic]
(Sahih Al-Bukhari,
[/FONT]
[/FONT]vol. 4, p. 442, no. 667.)



All u need to do is to plant the seed of Islam in her heart.U might wont get immediate result and this seed will grow to be a tree and only Allah knows if it will be the female tree which will produce fruits or male tree which won't produce fruits.

Fruits here is refering to acceptance of Islam and shahadah.

Our job is just to plant this seed.InshaAllah it will bring fruits perhaps after 5 or 10 or even before her last breath.

Make dua for her in every of ur sujud.
Like Br.Yusuf Estes said he always ask Allah to send at elats 4-5 people everyday for him to dawah to and take the shahdah.And yes his average people that convert everyday is 4 mashaAllah.and he said he asked for it,do we ask as well?

So ask Allah and be greedy in asking :)

[/FONT]
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
mashallah,.....shurkran jazakallah khair, for all your VERY insightful advice, I was wrong, and I have to apologize, because she has always been a dear friend to me,...maybe I do come off alil offensive to ppl and I do have to realize that ONLY ALLAH SWT guides whom he wills, and my msgs are not for evryone one....this is why I love my tti brothers and sisters, wrong is wrong and right is right. Alhamdulilah. As Salaamu Alaikum.
 

revert2007

Love Fishing
mashallah,.....shurkran jazakallah khair, for all your VERY insightful advice, I was wrong, and I have to apologize, because she has always been a dear friend to me,...maybe I do come off alil offensive to ppl and I do have to realize that ONLY ALLAH SWT guides whom he wills, and my msgs are not for evryone one....this is why I love my tti brothers and sisters, wrong is wrong and right is right. Alhamdulilah. As Salaamu Alaikum.

Sister there is nothing wrong with forwarding islamic messages to others.but she got offended and took it too personally and ur not responsible for it.others might be guided with ur forwarded messages and some other people wont.now u know how she feels about islam so becareful when ur having conversation with her.as i said,plz plant the seed and do not expect it to be male tree or female tree.let that Allah to decide.but u must plant the seed because it is obligatory upon every muslim.i am not sure how ur gonna do it.all u need to do is ask Allah to help u in ur mission :)
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
Sister there is nothing wrong with forwarding islamic messages to others.but she got offended and took it too personally and ur not responsible for it.others might be guided with ur forwarded messages and some other people wont.now u know how she feels about islam so becareful when ur having conversation with her.as i said,plz plant the seed and do not expect it to be male tree or female tree.let that Allah to decide.but u must plant the seed because it is obligatory upon every muslim.i am not sure how ur gonna do it.all u need to do is ask Allah to help u in ur mission :)

mashallah, sis revert I just finished my email to her, and I did ask Allah(swt) first than she to forgive me for bein insensitive, I also said to her that she should ask a muslim about a muslim, and a christian about a christian because noone will truly learn a religion other than the one they follow, also I told her unless her brother, speaks arabic he cant answer anything about quran truly, and to understand the ayats he will need tasfeer, so inshallah she dont take offense to that, but i did say in "my opinion" and I apologized again to show humbleness and the character of a muslimah....again I thank you for advice, may Allah swt reward you...ameen:SMILY252:
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
mashallah, sis revert I just finished my email to her, and I did ask Allah(swt) first than she to forgive me for bein insensitive, I also said to her that she should ask a muslim about a muslim, and a christian about a christian because noone will truly learn a religion other than the one they follow, also I told her unless her brother, speaks arabic he cant answer anything about quran truly, and to understand the ayats he will need tasfeer, so inshallah she dont take offense to that, but i did say in "my opinion" and I apologized again to show humbleness and the character of a muslimah....again I thank you for advice, may Allah swt reward you...ameen:SMILY252:

:salam2:
sorry to bug in
but mashaAllah that was a nice step that u have taken ukhti ummyasiin
and inshaAllah with the muslimah character you've shown to her, may inshaAllah Allah opens up her heart for islam one day ameen
as they say ''Actions through characters are one of the best form of da'wah'' :)
may Allah put peace and happiness in ur heart :SMILY259:
:wasalam:
 

Julie1134

Junior Member
Salam

Salam sister,
I am also a convert from the Christian faith. I will be honest I was once offended by some things sent to me from a Muslim. Alhamdulillah as you see I am now a Muslim! Sis, the best thing you can do is say sorry and pray that Allah almighty will open her heart to the truth. May Allah reward you for trying to teach her the truth.
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
:salam2:
sorry to bug in
but mashaAllah that was a nice step that u have taken ukhti ummyasiin
and inshaAllah with the muslimah character you've shown to her, may inshaAllah Allah opens up her heart for islam one day ameen
as they say ''Actions through characters are one of the best form of da'wah'' :)
may Allah put peace and happiness in ur heart :SMILY259:
:wasalam:

As Salaamu Alaikii, sister your not buggin in, I am open to all sincere advice and comments....inshallah she become muslim and I can discuss islam with her and not too her..but I will continue to due dawah thru character. may Allah guide us all. Ameen
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
Salam sister,
I am also a convert from the Christian faith. I will be honest I was once offended by some things sent to me from a Muslim. Alhamdulillah as you see I am now a Muslim! Sis, the best thing you can do is say sorry and pray that Allah almighty will open her heart to the truth. May Allah reward you for trying to teach her the truth.

I guess I feel really bad and rude, I didnt really mean no offense to anyone, I simply wanted to spread knowledge, and insight. I am really alot of those ppl path to on hand info, so I be it....jus never expected it to back fire in such negitivity....well,...mashallah....sis what led you to this beautiful way of life? If you dont mind me asking....
 

arzafar

Junior Member
practicing islam, is the best form of dawah.
you should have impressed her with your character. now you have depressed her. i think you should make up with her.
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
^.....I already did.....and I was very well with out your rudeness, how do you know that she is depressed???? did she tell you that? she certainly hasnt mentioned it to I....:)
 

OsMaN_93

Here to help
^.....I already did.....and I was very well with out your rudeness, how do you know that she is depressed???? did she tell you that? she certainly hasnt mentioned it to I....:)
salaam alikom,

I don't think he ment it in a rude way ;-)
 

aBCHEr

New Member
I would say that whatever you do, please don't be opologetic about your core islmic values and deal with this matter firmy on islamic grounds. Respect and etiquette are important; so are our duty to speak what we have in our hearts.
 

palestine

Servant of Allah
You shouldn't feel bad ukhti. She was offended, yes but you only meant to do good. so do not feel bad. May Allah swt guide her if He wills. You've already invited her to Islam and she seems not to want anything to do with it, so leave her to that and help the others who are in need of that same dawah.
take care.
wasalamu alaikum.
 
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