Muslim women with a Non-Muslim man...MARRIAGE

[mina23]

Hi again! Like I posted in a thread before this one, I am interested in converting to Islam. Last night I was telling my boyfriend about this and he asked me what is the Muslim perspective on marriage (we are thinking of marriage). I was like...you know, I dont know~! So I looked it up online and I read that Muslim women cannot under any circumstances marry a Non-Muslim man. It is because the man is the head of the household and the family would be under his leadership. A Muslim woman cannot have a household with a man with whom she does not share the same faith and values with. Im not gonna lie, I was a little sad to read this as my boyfriend is not a Muslim. And he tells me that just because he doesnt want to hear anything about the Christian church right now doesnt mean he is going to go running to Islam or anything else. (we both met in church and fell away a bit too). I was like okay okay, but I was thinking..."Allah works in mysterious ways!"
Anyways these are my questions:
1) Can a Muslim woman marry a Non-Muslim man?
2) If I choose to follow through with converting to Islam, should I wait until he becomes more open to it?
3) Should I convert and just continue to date him and set the best Muslim example I can in hopes of him becoming interested??!

 

[khathuma]

answer

:salam2:

a muslim girl cannot marry a non-muslim boy
:shymuslima1:

 

[ibn azem]

Hi Mina,

Alhamdulillaah (Praise be to Allaah), you seem to have learned some of the important issues in Islam and you should continue so in the future insha Allaah.

The most important thing in this relatively short life of ours is that we know the Truth why we are here, why Allaah has created us and how do we live a life in which we will please Allaah, the Creator and Cherisher of everything.

The one who has come to that point then it is clear and you believe with your heart, then the next step is to declare that: ashhadu an laa ilaaha illallaah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadun Rasulullaah (I testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allaah alone and that Muhammad is His Messenger), and enter Islam.

When we have understood that and we should then rely on Allaah, as we are willing and have decided to live our life according to His Book and the Sunnah of His last messenger, Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah upon him) then everything in this life becomes easier for us, because our main purpose is to attain the pleasure of Allaah and His Jannah (Paradise).

This life is also a test for us, which one of us will pass it with success if we hold on to the truth that Allaah has sent down for us as a mercy from Him (apart from giving us all that we need (as in the material needs) and all that we know or don't know).

(He's the One) Who has created death and life, so He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving. (Al Mulk 2)

You have come to know that also Allaah has prohibited in the Qur'an that a muslim woman which only a muslim can marry and no other has the right to it, based upon what Allaah has revealed to us in the Qur'an (interpretation of the meaning).

They are not lawful (wives) for the unbelievers, nor are the unbelievers lawful (husbands) for them... (Al-Mumtahina:10)


Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe... (Al-Baqara:221)

Also as for your friend you can make it clear to him and convey to him how you have to come to the Truth (in which there is no doubt alhamdulillaah) and that these are the conditions which you have to fulfill and that if he wants to be with you he has also to fulfill some conditions.

If he really loves you he will take that into consideration and Allaah knows if he is best for you or not. If he starts and studies Islam and accepts it with the permission of Allaah and His guidance then alhamdulillaah, you can get married to him and live your life in Islam.

But if he doesn't consider that then it is clear how much you mean to him, but to date him (or even a muslim) outside marriage is what Allaah has forbidden for us.

But if we put our trust in Allaah then Allaah will make it easy for us no doubt.

May Allaah guide to what is the best and help you in this matter for He is the only One who can help us.

bye and hope to hear soon from you.

 

[a_muslimah86]

Hi there mina..


i have a muslim friend of mine who is going through the same exact issue..she is involved with a non-muslim man and they want to married..

unfortunately..this cannot happen..until he converts..because islam does not allow their marriage

i am trying to help her out with it..i'm giving her links to videos and articles and all that so she can help him understand islam..and i hope that he will..and decides to convert

the best thing i can tell you is..don't rush..and don't turn to a missionary and force him to convert..make sure that he converts by his own will..and understanding..

as for yourself..act to your best of ability with islamic-character..and educate yourself on islam..and if you feel that you are completely ready to convert..do so straight away..don't hesitate!..and then decide whether or not you want to tell the guy

I hope that things will work out..and know that..Allah (swt) does not deprive His sincere servants of happiness..and if He (swt) had decreed this man to be your husband..no man and no power can stop that from happening..and Allah will make it as easy as a drink of water for you both..

pray for him..and pray for yourself..and try to work on it with all your heart..keeping your intentions pure and your faith in Allah strong..

and keep Him (swt) as your source of support and motivation when doing so

let us know of any other questions you might have

take care!

 

[mina23]

man! you guys are all so understanding, supportive, loving and helpful! =') thanks so much for your advice. this is helping me so much, you guys are great. =D

 

[IslamIsLight]

Assalamu aleikum sister
As I replied to u on another thread
Take everything step by step

The Most Imprtant is To believe that
"There is No God but Allah and Muhammad is His Messanger"

I want to give u a link for a very good article ,that will give u more understanding InshAllah
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2432


Allah guides whomever He wish....

May Allah guide u and make it easy for u ....

 

[loveislam1]

Asalam Alikoum sister

Subhanallah this subject has come up more often since islam has become prevelant in the west. The answer you found is correct, there was one shiekh that I loved his fatwah about this very subject you are talking about, he echoed the majortiy of scholars feel about this, a muslim woman marrying a non muslim man....at the end he said this:

great wisdom should be applied by those calling people to Islam; at times forbidden actions may be overlooked and kept silent about for the greater benefit of saving a human soul from disbelief. In other words, one should always remember when dealing with potential converts or newly-converted Muslims: there is no sin as great as disbelief (kufr), since every sin may be forgiven save it.]

I will make dua for you sister that Allah subhana wa ta'ala guides you both to the path of islam, give you right guidance wisdom and understanding.

 

[kayleigh]

A Muslim woman can't marry a non-Muslim man. If you feel Islam is right, don't wait for him to be ready. If you're ready, do it, because this is about you and not him. Also, as a Muslim, you shouldn't date. But the decision is yours and I pray you'll make the right one. Insh'Allah, everything will work out and be easy for you.

 

[somewhatinspired]

hmnn

i understand that you are not yet Muslim.

and despite my opinion in this matter,i sympathize with you.
my wife and i were both dating for years and i was a non practicing American convert.

she was not Muslim.

it is pretty much impossible to sustain a wholesome Muslim life with a boyfriend/girlfriend. i know this from experience.

i was completely miserable.

boyfriends and girlfriends are not allowed in Islam.

if you are serious about your faith their are too many complications.

so that idea is shot.

you cannot marry him if he is not a Muslim.

and i really do not recommend waiting until he becomes a Muslim, before you decide to convert to Islam. that would be a horrible plan

when you stand before allah, after you die. your boyfriend will not be standing next to you.

from experience, i know this is hard to fathom as the right thing to do, because you may assume or feel as if the people giving you this advice do not understand your situation. but i really may be able to relate to you.

the best thing to do would be to give him as much information about Islam as possibly and swiftly end the relationship.
maybe write him a letter or something and explain why.

if you two are meant to marry allah will guide him.

and that may be the thing that drives him to understand and believe.

if he is not able to stay faithful or dedicated to you after that, i don't think he would be the right one anyway.

ultimately the choice is yours .

this would be a hard step but it would make things in your life a lot easier. trust me.

you cant stay in a relationship with a man if you are a Muslim.

unless your married.

and you simply cant marry him unless he is a Muslim.

and you cannot make him be Muslim.

only allah can guide him.

the best example of Islam you could give would be to break up and not see each other. maybe write letters and email talk on myspace or whatever. but keep it on a strictly friendly level until you know whether he is a Muslim or not.

and my advise about that is don't stick around if he isn't interested in Islam. it will be nothing but misery because the passion you feel for Islam will never go away and it will be a war inside your mind every waking moment of your life.
you will only hinder yourself sticking around if he just cant understand.

ryan

 

[somewhatinspired]

one more thing

you should get involved with the mosque. there are most likely plenty of sisters around campus who would be willing to talk to you. and you may be able to convince your boyfriend to talk to some of the brothers at the mosque

it may help him not look at Islam as something foreign.(if he does)

i know a lot of people in the us don't even know anything about Islam at all.

putting faces to names and what not usually helps fix that uneasiness.