Isra
aka Tree2008
As salamo alaikome
Inshallah all my brothers and sisters here at TTI are in good health and Iman.
I have a small and really insignificant problem but what has happened has caused me to revert back to some of the "old way of thinking" I used to have before becoming Muslim. Maybe its just me but I cannot STAND injustice of any kind and especially when it is happening to me or someone that I love.
I think most of you might remember from my posts last year that I was working 2 jobs just to make ends meet for myself and my son. Then during Ramadan last year I lost one of those jobs due to attempting to wear hijab in observance of the Ramadan. Well very shortly after that I lost the 2nd job due to not asking for ID from a customer as they were buying alcohol. I was very upset and jobless for a few days but alhamdulillah Allah turned me in the direction of my current job (although I found out later is also haram selling cigarettes). Well the family who own the cigarette store where I work are Muslim and I was elated just to find a job where I am able to pray!!!!
Little by little though things have changed and not for the better. When I was hired I was told I would be working 50 hours per week which due to them always being late has turned into more like 54 or so per week. At first they would allow me to lock the door and pray in peace in the back but shortly after (maybe one month or so after I started working there) they changed this rule too and now I must stop my prayer to tend to the customers and continue my prayer when the customer leaves so my prayer at work is interrupted.
Even after all the changes and in my opinion inconsiderate behaviour on their part I have done the best job I could until recently. I began to text message on my cell phone during my working hours and this has gone on for a few months. I know I was wrong for doing it and I have no excuse at all.
Then last Tuesday I was cashing out the register for the day (which I was trained to do an hour before closing) when a woman walked in and when I told her I needed to count the drawer down she blew up and began ranting and raving that this is crazy and why dont I lock the door before I do that and why do we have this procedure during operational hours and not once the store is closed? She went on and on to the point that I had to count the drawer 3 times because she kept talking to me and I couldnt concentrate!
Well then 2 days later I got a formal write up for being rude to a customer and for text messaging on my cell phone. I understand the text messaging part was wrong of me but I dont accept that I was rude to that woman when I really barely even spoke to her since I was trying my best to count the money without making a mistake.
She called and complained about me and the owner basically took her side in it and I was written up and told I must now wait until the store is closed to count the drawer for the following day. Its fine but that keeps me an extra 20 minutes past the time I am supposed to get off.
Ok now I realize that some of what happened is my fault (the text messaging especially). Possibly I could have made that woman less angry if I had handled the situation better. What I have thought of instead is finding her and going to her place of work to get "even". The customer behind her who stood patiently until I finished counting the money that night told me she was wearing "scrubs" meaning she works at the hospital or in a doctors office. Judging by the late hour when she came in I assume she works for the hospital as most doctor offices are not open that late.
I cant get this woman out of my head and really I want to do the same to her. I have been praying and praying since this happened (its only been a few days) but really it wont leave my mind to get revenge on her. Why I cant just let this go is beyond me. I think its because I felt she damaged me in some way and I cant forget about it or let it go.
Sorry to rant my brothers and sisters but this is really bothering me so much. I hope you can keep me in your dua. This person I am acting like now is reminding me of the way I was before I became Muslim and I dont like it one bit. Please pray for me.
Inshallah all my brothers and sisters here at TTI are in good health and Iman.
I have a small and really insignificant problem but what has happened has caused me to revert back to some of the "old way of thinking" I used to have before becoming Muslim. Maybe its just me but I cannot STAND injustice of any kind and especially when it is happening to me or someone that I love.
I think most of you might remember from my posts last year that I was working 2 jobs just to make ends meet for myself and my son. Then during Ramadan last year I lost one of those jobs due to attempting to wear hijab in observance of the Ramadan. Well very shortly after that I lost the 2nd job due to not asking for ID from a customer as they were buying alcohol. I was very upset and jobless for a few days but alhamdulillah Allah turned me in the direction of my current job (although I found out later is also haram selling cigarettes). Well the family who own the cigarette store where I work are Muslim and I was elated just to find a job where I am able to pray!!!!
Little by little though things have changed and not for the better. When I was hired I was told I would be working 50 hours per week which due to them always being late has turned into more like 54 or so per week. At first they would allow me to lock the door and pray in peace in the back but shortly after (maybe one month or so after I started working there) they changed this rule too and now I must stop my prayer to tend to the customers and continue my prayer when the customer leaves so my prayer at work is interrupted.
Even after all the changes and in my opinion inconsiderate behaviour on their part I have done the best job I could until recently. I began to text message on my cell phone during my working hours and this has gone on for a few months. I know I was wrong for doing it and I have no excuse at all.
Then last Tuesday I was cashing out the register for the day (which I was trained to do an hour before closing) when a woman walked in and when I told her I needed to count the drawer down she blew up and began ranting and raving that this is crazy and why dont I lock the door before I do that and why do we have this procedure during operational hours and not once the store is closed? She went on and on to the point that I had to count the drawer 3 times because she kept talking to me and I couldnt concentrate!
Well then 2 days later I got a formal write up for being rude to a customer and for text messaging on my cell phone. I understand the text messaging part was wrong of me but I dont accept that I was rude to that woman when I really barely even spoke to her since I was trying my best to count the money without making a mistake.
She called and complained about me and the owner basically took her side in it and I was written up and told I must now wait until the store is closed to count the drawer for the following day. Its fine but that keeps me an extra 20 minutes past the time I am supposed to get off.
Ok now I realize that some of what happened is my fault (the text messaging especially). Possibly I could have made that woman less angry if I had handled the situation better. What I have thought of instead is finding her and going to her place of work to get "even". The customer behind her who stood patiently until I finished counting the money that night told me she was wearing "scrubs" meaning she works at the hospital or in a doctors office. Judging by the late hour when she came in I assume she works for the hospital as most doctor offices are not open that late.
I cant get this woman out of my head and really I want to do the same to her. I have been praying and praying since this happened (its only been a few days) but really it wont leave my mind to get revenge on her. Why I cant just let this go is beyond me. I think its because I felt she damaged me in some way and I cant forget about it or let it go.
Sorry to rant my brothers and sisters but this is really bothering me so much. I hope you can keep me in your dua. This person I am acting like now is reminding me of the way I was before I became Muslim and I dont like it one bit. Please pray for me.
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