need help getting some advise

mohammed 1234

Darkness to Light
Dear brothers and sisters:salam2:

I would like your help in getting some advise!

Today at work a non mahram manager came over to me and offered he hand to shake, I was in such a situation that I shaked the hand. In a non muslim country men and women are treated the same but I know you should no shake hands with a person who is not your mahram.

All eyes were on me to shake her hand and the I was pressured to shake the hand:astag:. Can anyone help me out on advise for the future if I AM PUT IN SUCH A SITUATION.

Usually I dont shake hands with no mahram but in such a pressure situation and such a environment and atmosphere it was hard to resist. Is there any fatwa regarding this situation.

I pray to allah and repent for my sins (as stafir allah wa atooba illay)


Pearl of Islaam
Assalamu alaicum dear sister

Shaking hands with non mahram is forbidden Alhamdulillah, like you already know, but Inshallah Allah will forgive you dear sister because in that moment you did not had any other choice. My advice for you it would be that you talk with your menager work and explain him that you are Muslimah and that your religion( your belifs) do not aloww you to shake hands with non mahram man. I pray to Allah he will understand it, and I pray Allah make easy things for you in the future.ameen

May Allah bless you


Living Soul

Junior Member

I was also in this situation many times. In the beginning it was hard but then I resolved to myself to resist. Things worked for me. There was a store visit by the head office and every one was trying to put his best in the service. Other flour managers were called for assistance. This new guy was a manager from the other store, came to our store for assistance in management. He was being introduced to every one of us. On my turn as well he extended his hand while telling his name and position. I picked courage and excused for shaking. He was surprised greatly. I explained to him that it is not permissible for me to shake hand. I was Hijabi there as well Alhamdolillah. Later on, he walked arround and came towards the area where I was working.

I thought it to be an opportunity to do explain a bit about Islam to him. I said, I am sorry Sir for not shaking hand with you because it is not allowed in Islam for us to shake hands with Men with few exceptions which is given in Quran and Sunnah. I said that he did not know that at all. And he had been working with the muslims but non of them told him about it before.

I think you can also excuse to people by just saying that you are a muslim and it is not allowed for you to shake hands.



Junior Member
yes this is a very difficult situation, especially for a man. I mean say if a woman doesnt shake hands, people dont make a big deal of it. when a man refuses to shake hands it is seen as incredibly rude.
surely there must be some other way of greeting without shaking hands.


Pearl of Islaam
dear sister

Thank you for your advise.

I am a muslim and not a muslima

Jazak allah hayr for the advise

Assalamu Allaicum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Wa iyaki dear brother

I apologise, my mistake. Jazzak allah khair for corecting me.

May Allah bless you


mohammed 1234

Darkness to Light
I know it haram

But I don't want to portray a bad image about islam, because they might think he is stuck up. It is a good idea to educate the manager about shaking hands with non mahram.
Inshallah allah will give me the courage and strength to be strong and resist.

Thank you to everyone that posted a response


Junior Member
salam walakum

brother i empathise with ur situation tremendously,, i have often found myself in this situation let me tell you a little story of something that happened to me,

beofore i began practising islam i wasnt really bothered about modesty or that contact between the two sexes is forbidden, i used to work as a waitress, and the nature of the job meant i had to be a very (freindly) person, anyway i left this job and after a while got a new one hamdulliah were everyone knew of my practises.

one day i was outside work waiting to start my shift, when out of the corner of my eye i could see a man heading directly towards me, i was oh no who is this eeeeee, neway the man approached me and it turned out to be one of the waiters who used to work with me, beofore i had time to think of how i might tell him that im now a practising muslim, he put out his hand and i shook it, immeadiently i felt racked with guilt.

i went in to work,,and was soo unbelievably upset with myself that i went up to the stock room to make dua, to allah for forgiveness, almost immeadiently after i had made my dua, a huge heavy ladder, ( in the stock room) suddenly fell and smashed me on my head,,

i understood that perhaps this was my forgiveness and punishment from allah, and if indeed this was the punishment for a sin that a lot of people consider minor then ohmg,, that ladder was HEAVY and nearly knocked me for six lol,,,

brother i would NOT advise u to make up an excuse!!!

muslims DO NOT lie under any circumstances allah will reward u brother if you stand up for what u believe in, trust me i speak from experiance,, in the past i have had to leave jobs because they have refused to let me pray, citing that ITS NOT GOOD FOR BISSNESS, but allah has NEVER left me without!!!

Arrange a little meeting with ur boss and colleggees ( if you can) to make people aware that you are a muslim and shaking peoples ( non mehrams) hands is not permissible for you, it may cause a little embarrassment for a while but remember allah swt is watching and allah will be happy with you inshallah,,,

good luck brother,



Thank You Allah!
Walaykumu salaam

How about you keep your hands busy? Or pretend you didn't see her hand reaching out..??..
Sorry I'm not much of a help

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

IMHO, everytime when you come upon such situation, say to your heart firmly that you will NOT shake hands with a non-mahram anymore. On your first attempt, it will feel like a 'struggle' but "Practice makes perfect". InshaAllaah once when you are used to NOT shaking hands with non-mahrams (regardless of the situation), eventually it wouldnt be a problem anymore. Its true that many times when we are facing a tense situation, eventhough knowing its not right, but sadly we still do it with the feeling of guilt afterwards.

Well brother, remember that we as Muslims should have the i'zzah (feeling of pride that we are a Muslim as in a good way - not of the riyak or takabbur), because as a Muslim who love his faith more than anything else, then we should be ourselves. We will be just like how Allaah commands us to be.

It is hard sometimes when you are among the majority groups. Even if EVERY single person at your place is doing something, doesnt mean that it is a right thing to do. Usually what the majority of the people are doing, we will have the tendency to do it as well. But know that we Muslims have our own faith and Allaah to hold on to.

I encountered with a similar situation too a few years back and sadly the non-mahram was my own cousin! Astaghfirullahal a'zim. It was during Eid day, where we will usually shake hands between relatives and many times my male cousins let out their hand too (yeah, it sure is sad knowing that people couldnt distinguish who are their mahram and who arent) but after a few times not holding out my hands to have a shake with them, alhamdulillah they understood and didnt intend to shake hands with me anymore.

Anyways make your first step whenever you'll face that situation again. Our actions represent our faith and faith is something from within the heart. I pray that may Allaah put ease in our situations especially in matters to practice our deen to our best ability. Aminn.


mohammed 1234

Darkness to Light
Sookran to my brothers and sisters in allah

I feel better now about going about it in the future.

This is why such a community can help each other when advise is needed.:jazaak: