salam aleikum
Dear brother Raed,
What happen to you now its very hard. But it is very cleer indeed that Allah not allowing this marriage to you. As I read in your message your mom is a great woman and very strong in Islam. Listen to her advise. If she is still praying Istighara and she still have the feeling that this marriage will not bring you good things, you can´t deny that. It´s cleer that Allah want to save you for that.
Listen brother, I can tell you my own story in a few words. I was in love with a man and he was in love in with me. We had great plans together. He was not from my country, but arround 5000 km from my place. We are talking about the future and how it will be if we are married. Our love for eachother was deep, very deep and if it was necessary we can die for eachother. We met eachother only a few times, coz the distance. I stayed in his sisters home, so we weren´t alone. But anyway we were very happy with the moments that we are near to eachother.
But everything was going wrong.
Not between us, but the circumstances doesnt allow us what we want.
Oh brother, I can tell u, I cried many, many times and asked Allah for help.
As we talked with eachother ons msn we were both crying, everytime. More and more problems were coming and we can´t do anything about this.
Two years passed but it seems heaven was from copper. In that time I didnt know about the Istighara prayer. I did my own pray, in my own way in my own language. I talked to Allah, please Allah, help us. You know we love eachother so much and already for a long time. You can do everything for us if You want. You can chance the circumstances so that we can marry. If You want, everything is possible. But if it is not good for us, Allah, I know You will not do, because You only know what is the best for me and him. Then we have to accept your decision.
I prayed with pain in my heart and I had to cry everytime. Sometimes I said to Allah, why Allah, why all of this. But I knew this question is wrong, but I was so desperated. May Allah forgive me this words, asking why.
All this time we keeped intouch by phone or msn, but it was painfull everytime. We tried to keep smiling, but it was a sad smiling.
I didnt see any possibility to chance our situation, it was horrorable. I only saw one way, but I waited with this, because I didnt want to lose his love for me. But I knew, I had to do. So I started to pray to Allah to take away my love for him out of my heart. I didnt want, but I knew it have to be. It cannot going on like this. I was busy to destroy myself. I didnt eat anymore, I can´t sleep anymore. I was walking like a ghost. I didn´t go out of my house. My family asked me if I was ill, but I can´t talk about this with them. They aren´t muslims, so they can´t understand.
In the meantime i tried not to talk with him anymore, but after a few days, it was like Im getting crazy. But I didn´t stop with praying and asking Allah for help in this difficult situation. But slowly, slowly, my feelings chanced and I didn´t cry as much like before. Love for him was not gone, but it was starting to be different. I started to accept that we had an impossible love.
During this process I asked to Allah, please Allah, You know I´m already a long time single, and I want company in my life, so we can share Islam. You know Allah, who he is, where he is. Maybe he is here in Holland, maybe in another country. I ask You Allah, please, send him to me.
I prayed this every day more than one year. Also I needed this period to chance my feelings for this man I loved so much. Than after this year Allah sent him to me. And now Im married with him, like I told before. I knew from the first moment, that this the one who was good for me.
It is not that the other one was not a good man, oh no. He is a good muslim and Islam is his life. But the circumstances were to most bad.
When I met my husband the first time my first words were, Alhamdullilah, Alhamdullilah. My feeling told me immediately, yes its him. This is the man who Allah want for me. Now we are married since a year ago and we are so so happy together. I moved from Holland to Turkey and till now I don´t regret.
But.... Shaitan don´t sit on his chair....! This man I told about tried to contact me everytime. His love for me isn´t gone. I told him that I´m married and that I´m happy. For him it is still a big problem to forget me after all this years. But in my eyes he is now only a brother to me and I pray every day for him that Allah may give him peace in his heart and that he will accept this situation. His situation is still horrorable, but it is only in the hands of Allah to solve this. The only thing I can do, is dua. I did what was in my power, but my possibility´s were to an end and I had to give it in the hands of Allah.
Dear brother, also your situation will be better. Allah knows also for u who is the wife for you. Maybe in your country or in another country. Distance isn´t a problem for Allah. Now you are in pain about this all. But it will chance, you have only to ask Allah to help you and I´m sure that your mother will do the same for u. And say, Alhamudllilah that u have a mom like her. I didn´t have. I had to do all by my own in my struggling. I know very well how difficult it is and what you are feeling now, because I had the same before.
Don´t lose hope, dear brother, because we don´t need to lose hope. We have Allah and He knows the best what is good for us. And somewhere in this world is your future wife. You have only to ask Allah to sent her to you. Then you will say like i did, Alhamdullilah, Alhamdullilah.
Your sister in Islam
:tti_sister:
Congrates!! Please say it is a jock cos that is crazy! I mean no one is made of money and if you can't offer to pay just tell the mother say i can't offer to pay that much money as much as i love your daughter so you neither take the money i can offer or i will ask the muslim community to help me pay the money. Trust me the mother will not want to be embarras so she will take your money i mean know mother wants to destory her daughter future or you can say if you real love your daughter you should let her be happy which i bet she will say yes i want my daughter to be happy.