Need your wise advice inshaAllah

[sismali]

Assalamalaikum brother and sister, wish all of you Ramadan Mubarak.
I am writing here for asking your advice for my problem inshaAllah.
I am a 33 years old sister, and not married yet.....actually i never
stop looking for a brother who that i can marry, but Allah knows best
it never happened to me, recently there is someone introduced a
brother to me, we have exchanged few e-mails and photo.......be frankly
i have no positive feeling toward that brother, i have also prayed istikhrah
prayer, but still have no positive feeling. i want to say no to that brother,
but i am afraid it may be the last chance Allah give to me..... (i mean after
there will be no more brother comes to me) i am so afraid and at the same
time it is so hard for me to accept him.....please help me. what should i do?

may Allah reward all of you for spending time to read and response my treat.
Jazakanlahukhair.

again, Ramadan Mubarak.

wassalamalaikum

sister in islam

 

[shichemlydia]

advice inchae allah

salam alikoum sister,
first may allah give you the best husband you wish, ameen,
in your thread you did not metion why this brother does not look good for you, is it his religion, job, status.....i do not know.
but regarding what prophet mohamed pbuoh said "if a man with his religion you are satisfied comes to you, just give you, if you don't, then it will be fitna on the earth.....
so sister, if this man is good as far as his religion is concerned, just accept him and allah will make BARAKA in your marriage and give you the good sons and daughters.
you should know about that hadeeth of prophet mohamed pbuoh, when he sais that the woman is married because of 4 or 5 things and he mentioned, beauty, money, family status.....and he lastely mentioned her religion, and he said win the one with good religion, .....
so i guess this hadeeth is about a man choosing a woman, but the criteria are still the same with your cas.
on the other hand, sincerlly speaking, 33 years, is not the age of making choices sister,
may allah make it easy for you , ameen.
wa salama likoum

 

[alitimate]

Salam!

I would also say the same thgin sister.!
If the reason u are not liking him is, his religion / his behavior! then u maybe right! But if its for some other thing...u shudnt think once again.!

Again..if u dont liek the person maybe for some minor reasons in his character or smething..u can always chnge a person!

I dont knw u.neither do i know who he is..so its hard to give a proper advice..just pray to Allah that every thing goes fine! try knowign him a bit more...Tlak to him clearly abt things u liek and u dnt like! See how he reacts nd hw he takes it.I gues thsi will make u feel easy..nd let u knw more abt him!

Inshallah u will get wat u want
Salam!
Ali

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

You do not mention how often you have refused proposals. You are almost at the end of the childbearing age. It becomes very difficult after 35. Marriage is half of our deen.
You write you have no positive feelings. What exaclty do you consider to be a positive feeling. What is it that you are seeking.
However, do not be unfair to this man. There are many sisters who would be pleased at this prospect.
I may be wrong but I suspect that you have an ideal and no-one can live up to that ideal.
If you were younger I would have answered your question is a different manner. Do not waste time. And above all be honest with yourself.

Forgive me, I do not intent on being harsh.

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
Allah has blessed you with this opportunity, but I agree that there has to be some type of attraction, this is why we need that look. Not saying its most important, we all know deen is, but there should be something there inshallah.

I have heard stories that some sisters were not attracted to their husbands AFTER they married them and ended up divorced. Don't get into something that you cannot get out of, just for the sake of being married. Don't give up hope, if not this one, there will be another. Keep your faith and trust in Allah, only HE knows best.

 

[musliminah 05]

:salam2: sister
Sister I believe that if you have had a lot of proposals over the years then is it that you may believe that these brothers are not good enough for you?
If so then maybe you are thinking that you might be better than them and that might be why you havent managed to get married. You have to look if you are been ungrateful to what Allah is bringing your way. Love comes in time and Inshallah if you marry for the sake of gaining Allahs pleasure then Inshallah benefits will come with the marriage and love and respect will Inshallah come with time.
Deen is a very important part in our lives and marriage should be Inshallah based around that.
Im sorry if I have offended you in anyway May you forgive me sister.
Make plenty of dua to Allah to give you love and happiness within your marriage and Inshallah you will be happy.



:tti_sister:

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Wow, some of these responses are..harsh. The sister doesn't like him, her sixth sense is warning her and she ought to listen to it. Just because one guy finally comes along doesn't mean she should throw herself at him, being careful about picking your husband is not a bad thing. She prayed Istikarah and received a negative response, that's enough for me.

To the sister, your methods may be your problem. Can your parents help you find a husband? Family? Also, can you go to a local mosque and speak to the Imam about finding eligible me to marry? I am usually struck by the number of brothers seeking marriage but rarely see females struggling as much. This leads me to belive that the bachelors are out there, we just need to find them.

Sister, the last ten days of Ramadaan are upon us and this is an aspicious time to ask Allah swt for His blessings. INshallah you will be given a husband this year and complete half your deen.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[musliminah 05]

Salaam,

Wow, some of these responses are..harsh. The sister doesn't like him, her sixth sense is warning her and she ought to listen to it. Just because one guy finally comes along doesn't mean she should throw herself at him, being careful about picking your husband is not a bad thing. She prayed Istikarah and received a negative response, that's enough for me.


:salam2: sister
Im sorry if I offended you it wasnt my intention, I just think that if we marry for the sake of gaining Allahs pleasure that should be first. Real love comes later on in a marriage when you have had trials and tribulations to go through together, that is what makes a marriage stronger. We cannot possibly know a person properly until we have lived with them. That can only come with marriage.
I am not saying we should certainly just take anyone out of fear of not meeting the right person, but what we should look at if it has been a long time and still no marriage has happened then maybe we might ourself be doing something wrong.
Foundations come first in the marriage and then once they have been made stability comes Inshallah.
I am lucky Allhamdolilla my love for my husband has got stronger year by year, and we have been through some very very hard times but Allhamdolilla we have trusted in Allah and Allhamdolilla have gained from Allahs bountys in our marriage.
Take care sister and Inshallah what ever discision you make Inshallah will be the right one.

:blackhijab:

 

[goldenmuslimah21]

Salaam,

Wow, some of these responses are..harsh. The sister doesn't like him, her sixth sense is warning her and she ought to listen to it. Just because one guy finally comes along doesn't mean she should throw herself at him, being careful about picking your husband is not a bad thing. She prayed Istikarah and received a negative response, that's enough for me.

To the sister, your methods may be your problem. Can your parents help you find a husband? Family? Also, can you go to a local mosque and speak to the Imam about finding eligible me to marry? I am usually struck by the number of brothers seeking marriage but rarely see females struggling as much. This leads me to belive that the bachelors are out there, we just need to find them.

Sister, the last ten days of Ramadaan are upon us and this is an aspicious time to ask Allah swt for His blessings. INshallah you will be given a husband this year and complete half your deen.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

I hope u are right about these last ten day....I have praying for husband and got well something I was not expecting.

 

[warda A]

salam
there is always something about the sixth sense, we have been blessed with it so we should use it
we do not know the reasons she is hesitant, but i will always listen to that sixth sense, Allah Ta'ala blessed us with it.
Just keep on praying and if it is meant to happen it will, because Allah makes things happen at their appointed time.