Parents

[IslamIsLight]

I converted to Islam 2 years ago here in America.I haven't seen my parents for 4 years,they live in a different country.They don't want to accept the fact that I'm Muslim now.They don't want even talk about it.They don't want me to marry a muslim guy and have a muslim children,I'm not even talking about wearing hijab.I know if I will go back to my country,I will suffer ,as now I know that I don't belong there and nobody will understand me.My parents will be very upset and I'm sure they will never let me to put hijab and will always argue.I can only pray to Allah for them.I understand them also,coz they know only bad about Islam.and they are so far from me that I cannot explain.I dont have their understanding and all my family actually ,we are all apart.

 

[virtualeye]

I converted to Islam 2 years ago here in America.I haven't seen my parents for 4 years,they live in a different country.They don't want to accept the fact that I'm Muslim now.They don't want even talk about it.They don't want me to marry a muslim guy and have a muslim children,I'm not even talking about wearing hijab.I know if I will go back to my country,I will suffer ,as now I know that I don't belong there and nobody will understand me.My parents will be very upset and I'm sure they will never let me to put hijab and will always argue.I can only pray to Allah for them.I understand them also,coz they know only bad about Islam.and they are so far from me that I cannot explain.I dont have their understanding and all my family actually ,we are all apart.

AssalaamuAlaikum,

So sad to know sister.
May Allah give your family hidayah of right path. And May Allah give them the ability that they can at least tolerate your conversion. And May Allah give you courage and 'Sabr' and May Allah make your life easier.

Which country your parents belong to?


Wasslaam,
VE

 

[umm hussain]

I am almost in the same situation, I havent seen my dad for 5yrs my mum for about 2yrs because she came over to visit me. They are not muslims as well . When my mum came to visit she didnt like my hijab, jilbab look she was very upset about it and she tried to turn my family against me, brothers, sisters and of course my dad. My dad hasnt seen me in hijab, I think it will be a shock for him considering how I used to dress but I think he will actually like it becausethere is a time he told me I should go and wear some clothes when I was wearing something really short and hated it when I left the house half naked.

When I left home I wasnt Muslim and I lived in this country for another 2years before accepting Islam Alhamdulillah. I didnt even tell my dad i was muslim, but my mum did and i dont know how he took it. Islam was upsetting my mum so much i decided that we can talk about anything apart from Islam and I think she was embarrassed of walking around with me wearing hijab, I could see her discomfort.

I had this dread of going back home because family members would be on my case but now I am not bothered. I am actually looking to go back and give my family especially dad dawah, the 'Islam' they know are some people who practise magic (from surrounding African countries), smoke and drink alcohol and to them what is so special about Islam if muslims do what we do. So Inshallah if they see proper muslims they might see it in a different way.

I guess it is really important for us Muslims to give dawah with our actions as well

 

[virtualeye]

I am almost in the same situation, I havent seen my dad for 5yrs my mum for about 2yrs because she came over to visit me. They are not muslims as well . When my mum came to visit she didnt like my hijab, jilbab look she was very upset about it and she tried to turn my family against me, brothers, sisters and of course my dad. My dad hasnt seen me in hijab, I think it will be a shock for him considering how I used to dress but I think he will actually like it becausethere is a time he told me I should go and wear some clothes when I was wearing something really short and hated it when I left the house half naked.

When I left home I wasnt Muslim and I lived in this country for another 2years before accepting Islam Alhamdulillah. I didnt even tell my dad i was muslim, but my mum did and i dont know how he took it. Islam was upsetting my mum so much i decided that we can talk about anything apart from Islam and I think she was embarrassed of walking around with me wearing hijab, I could see her discomfort.

I had this dread of going back home because family members would be on my case but now I am not bothered. I am actually looking to go back and give my family especially dad dawah, the 'Islam' they know are some people who practise magic (from surrounding African countries), smoke and drink alcohol and to them what is so special about Islam if muslims do what we do. So Inshallah if they see proper muslims they might see it in a different way.

I guess it is really important for us Muslims to give dawah with our actions as well

AssalaamuAlaikum,,

My good inspirational sister, May Allah give you ease in this life and JannatulFirdaus in the eternity.


Wasslaaam,

VE

 

[zarah]

AssalaamuAlaikum,

So sad to know sister.
May Allah give your family hidayah of right path. And May Allah give them the ability that they can at least tolerate your conversion. And May Allah give you courage and 'Sabr' and May Allah make your life easier.

Which country your parents belong to?


Wasslaam,
VE

:salam2:

Ameen:tti_sister:

 

[alkathiri]

AssalaamuAlaikum,,

My good inspirational sister, May Allah give you ease in this life and JannatulFirdaus in the eternity.


Wasslaaam,

VE

:salam2:
Ameen..May god lighten what weighing on your chest, your mind

 

[hussain.mahammed]

I am almost in the same situation, I havent seen my dad for 5yrs my mum for about 2yrs because she came over to visit me. They are not muslims as well . When my mum came to visit she didnt like my hijab, jilbab look she was very upset about it and she tried to turn my family against me, brothers, sisters and of course my dad. My dad hasnt seen me in hijab, I think it will be a shock for him considering how I used to dress but I think he will actually like it becausethere is a time he told me I should go and wear some clothes when I was wearing something really short and hated it when I left the house half naked.

When I left home I wasnt Muslim and I lived in this country for another 2years before accepting Islam Alhamdulillah. I didnt even tell my dad i was muslim, but my mum did and i dont know how he took it. Islam was upsetting my mum so much i decided that we can talk about anything apart from Islam and I think she was embarrassed of walking around with me wearing hijab, I could see her discomfort.

I had this dread of going back home because family members would be on my case but now I am not bothered. I am actually looking to go back and give my family especially dad dawah, the 'Islam' they know are some people who practise magic (from surrounding African countries), smoke and drink alcohol and to them what is so special about Islam if muslims do what we do. So Inshallah if they see proper muslims they might see it in a different way.

I guess it is really important for us Muslims to give dawah with our actions as well

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu
Masha Allah very well said sister. May Allah Subhanahu wa Taala give us tawfeeq, guide us and give us the strength to face even the worst of worst people, so that we can convey the message of Islam.

wa/salam

 

[Aapa]

Sister,

Islam is the Truth. Allah will guide you. Allah will reward you for your courage. As time goes on they will see the light of Allah radiate from your face...as time goes on they will see that the decisions you make are mature and generous...they will want to come to you because the Love you hold in your heart will ease thier pain..in the meantime you have your family here that is praying with you and at all times in all places you have Allah..
Allah has blessed me with sons...my heart is always open for daughters...
your mother in Islam.

 

[Wulf]

A'salaam Alaikum

Very interesting. As many of you know I am a recent revert. My wife is now worried that i will "Corrupt?" our daughter with religion. My first wife, a Born again Christian has expressed concern that I may "Convert" my other children to (her words) "That Godless religion that doesn't have a Saviour."

Okay, let's look at this in a different light. All parents have ideas about who and what their children will grow into becoming. These hopes and dreams are a part of their lives, sometimes their heritage. When they see their children 'Deviate" from the path that was chosen, by them, for their children to follow, a parent can feel that they have failed in some way, especialy when they do not understand what it is their child is changing to. They may feel that it is all their fault and feel guilt, even though there is none. They feel isolated from the child.

First they try to find out Why? Then they will try to cajole the child into returning to be, what they were, the child they raised who had their parents religion, values and ethics. When this does not work they become frustrated, sad, then angry. Things are said which alienate families.
Believe it or not, eventualy, acceptance happens in most cases. But it may take time.
The thing is to stay calm and patient. When you see your parents, take a couple of Muslim friends with you to show them that you are not doing anything that would dishonour them, and they are hardly likely to start an argument in front of others.
Pride is the most expensive thing that a person can have, once it is spent the damage is hard to repair, and Parents tend to have a lot of pride. They do not realise that there must come a time when they, as the teachers, must now become the students and learn from the child.
I know, I have lived through this as a parent, and counselled many parents who experienced these feelings.

What will you feel if, in a few years time, you child, whom you raised as a Muslim, became interested in another religion, or started to experiment with Alchohol, either way, deviating from the way you raised them?
Would you feel the same as what your parents now feel? Or will you just be immediately accepting?

Be patient with your parents, always loveing them for the life you have.

W'Asalaam
Ibrahim

 

[American Muslim]

Sister, this is a very common situation for most of us "reverts". Almost all of us have to deal with this to one degree or another. When I became muslim, everyone was shocked. I have to explain.

I was that little blonde kid playing baseball out back. I was the student with very high marks. High school sports hero. Military veteran. Basically, I was the stereotype of what american parents want their son to be.

When I took shahada, everyone fell into a numb silence around me. They no longer knew how to treat me. I was the same "me" but with better guidance than any I had ever recieved , praise be to Allah. My parents didn't even want to discuss my deen. My brothers looked at me as if I were a stranger. My wife couldn't handle the idea that I had become Muslim and started divorce proceedings. I had a friend tell me I was going to the hellfire for abandoning Jesus (PBUH). Another friend, while drunk, actually started to hit me calling me a traitor, and how could I align myself with the people behind 9/11 . (Oh, btw, I knocked him on his tukhus).

In time, everyone saw that I was a better person because of my Islam. They saw that I no longer drank, and dealt more kindly with others. They saw that I gave time and money to charities, not just zakat.

By showing others how Islam has enriched and improved your life, they will (inshallah) come to accept you for who you are. I don't know if you are on track to become a citizen here , but if you are afraid of so much hostility at home, my advice would be to stay. Work through your masjid to find a muslim husband who is a citizen. Then, no bubbles, no troubles, you remain here as an american muslimah.