If Allah forgives why humanbeing can't
We all make mistakes ,nobody is perfect and past is the past ,u cant change it ,only forgive and forget....
Does your husband has perfect past? well nobody does and only Allah can judge us .
Take care
Past Harams......
- Thread starter dianek
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If Allah forgives why humanbeing can't
We all make mistakes ,nobody is perfect and past is the past ,u cant change it ,only forgive and forget....
Does your husband has perfect past? well nobody does and only Allah can judge us .
Take care
Happy 2BA Muslim
Islamophilic
Hi Diane,
Think about this:
Once a person embraces Islam, he/she will be as if they were just born. Any sins, however great they may be, are completely erased. Not one single sin. The past sins (drinking, fornication, adultery, .....you name it.....etc.) never ever happenned.
Isn`t Allah SWT the Greatest, the Most Merciful??
Looking forward to hearing good news from you soon!!
And by the way, yes, you can be a better Muslim than your husband, and better than all of us here on TTI.
Take care!
Think about this:
Once a person embraces Islam, he/she will be as if they were just born. Any sins, however great they may be, are completely erased. Not one single sin. The past sins (drinking, fornication, adultery, .....you name it.....etc.) never ever happenned.
Isn`t Allah SWT the Greatest, the Most Merciful??
Looking forward to hearing good news from you soon!!
And by the way, yes, you can be a better Muslim than your husband, and better than all of us here on TTI.
Take care!
abou haytam
Junior Member
salam o alikom
I enjoy reading this thread cuz i am ''arab'' and i learned a bit how mad and crazy we are loll. I am sure my mom is praying God (night and day)that i wont bring one day a '' white '' canadian woman.
what i can add about discussing past sins is that by doing this with his hasband or his wife they put doubt in their hearts, and Shaytan '' Devil'' is waiting those ocasion to destor famillies. If my wife told me that she was cheating on her '' ex bf'' for sure i will think that she can do the same with me !!!!! you get the point??
I am 28 years old and single and never been in love, yes i loved girls but i kept it in my heart but never been in relationship in a western way. i have freinds (guys) in morocco that are virgine until the day of their marriage!!!!!the last one i know was 26 years old he get married 2 years ago. i was the devil of my pious freinds cuz i always invit them to bad stuff i was doing (which i will not tell you
). when i went to morocco for vacation i relized how dirty is there but you know arabs land is a desert in general, we don t have water we don t have teers like in the west. But we are not dirty that much cuz we invent soap which an arabic word, ( As-saboun) in french (savon). So be thankful to '' dirty'' arab that teach the west how to clean their body in spain 1000 years ago berfor you invent toilet paper.
Your ''ego'' western people is that you think always that your thinking is the wise one and the correct one. An other thinking is false!!!! If americain enjoy your past and we arab don t want to hear about it make us EGO!!!!! what sily conclusion is this.
this is an other proof for your ego stuff. what you said here dose not mean that you are raised the correct way !!!! of course the truth is something precious and all islam is about truth but the truth you expect from your husband hurt sometimes and don t set you free. Allah said in the Qoran in sourat almaida 5:101
'' O ye who believe! ask not questions about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble. But if ye ask about things when the Qur'an is being revealed they will be made plain to you: Allah will forgive those: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. (101) ''
I see that many sisters here are arabs men expert
. i beleive we are tugh guys nervous and scream easly and raise our voice, we are just little bit jealous cuz we love you so much....what is wrong in that!!! LOLSalaam,
Sweet Arab Brother, do not allow yourself to be upset. From the land of Arabia Allah subana talla gave us men that were and are pious. How fortunate will be your future wives and may Allah subhana talla grant you many children.
The concept of love and realtionships in the west are very different. The focus on romantic love i.e. what Hollywood has brainwashed people into thinking is love leads to lives that are empty. Men shirk their responsibilites and leave women destitute with children. How fortunate are the western women who marry Muslim men and discover Love.
These women we have to respect. These sisters have given up thier customs to adapt to Islam. Their families sometimes are not pleased with them. I think of their courage living in the West and choosing Islam. And sometimes it is hard.
Living with men is hard on all women. Why, because out of love and honor women yield to men. It is not easy. However, the more we learn to yield to our husbands the more we learn about submitting to Allah subhana talla. But this takes time.
I pray my response is peaceful and wise and I ask Allah to forgive me should I have written anything wrong.
Sweet Arab Brother, do not allow yourself to be upset. From the land of Arabia Allah subana talla gave us men that were and are pious. How fortunate will be your future wives and may Allah subhana talla grant you many children.
The concept of love and realtionships in the west are very different. The focus on romantic love i.e. what Hollywood has brainwashed people into thinking is love leads to lives that are empty. Men shirk their responsibilites and leave women destitute with children. How fortunate are the western women who marry Muslim men and discover Love.
These women we have to respect. These sisters have given up thier customs to adapt to Islam. Their families sometimes are not pleased with them. I think of their courage living in the West and choosing Islam. And sometimes it is hard.
Living with men is hard on all women. Why, because out of love and honor women yield to men. It is not easy. However, the more we learn to yield to our husbands the more we learn about submitting to Allah subhana talla. But this takes time.
I pray my response is peaceful and wise and I ask Allah to forgive me should I have written anything wrong.
justoneofmillion
Junior Member
Assalam,Allah swt ywassaa khatrek akhi .love you for the sake of Allah swt.salam o alikom
I enjoy reading this thread cuz i am ''arab'' and i learned a bit how mad and crazy we are loll. I am sure my mom is praying God (night and day)that i wont bring one day a '' white '' canadian woman.
what i can add about discussing past sins is that by doing this with his hasband or his wife they put doubt in their hearts, and Shaytan '' Devil'' is waiting those ocasion to destor famillies. If my wife told me that she was cheating on her '' ex bf'' for sure i will think that she can do the same with me !!!!! you get the point??
I am 28 years old and single and never been in love, yes i loved girls but i kept it in my heart but never been in relationship in a western way. i have freinds (guys) in morocco that are virgine until the day of their marriage!!!!!the last one i know was 26 years old he get married 2 years ago. i was the devil of my pious freinds cuz i always invit them to bad stuff i was doing (which i will not tell you
when i went to morocco for vacation i relized how dirty is there but you know arabs land is a desert in general, we don t have water we don t have teers like in the west. But we are not dirty that much cuz we invent soap which an arabic word, ( As-saboun) in french (savon). So be thankful to '' dirty'' arab that teach the west how to clean their body in spain 1000 years ago berfor you invent toilet paper.
Your ''ego'' western people is that you think always that your thinking is the wise one and the correct one. An other thinking is false!!!! If americain enjoy your past and we arab don t want to hear about it make us EGO!!!!! what sily conclusion is this.
this is an other proof for your ego stuff. what you said here dose not mean that you are raised the correct way !!!! of course the truth is something precious and all islam is about truth but the truth you expect from your husband hurt sometimes and don t set you free. Allah said in the Qoran in sourat almaida 5:101
'' O ye who believe! ask not questions about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble. But if ye ask about things when the Qur'an is being revealed they will be made plain to you: Allah will forgive those: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. (101) ''
I see that many sisters here are arabs men expert
Disscussing eventual past sexual experiences with ones husband or wife is a shamless act!it doesn`t belong to a respectable household,nor does it degnify and regard the other person as this should be,it is unsensitve ,egoistic. And unless maybe some people might think it kills the passion instead of boosting it.
I don`t think that past sins should be held like trophies that are even worth to be mentioned and shared!for someone who intends to elevate,they are supposed to hate them and repent.
Relationship Between Husband and Wife:
The Qur'an emphasizes the spiritual objectives of marriage, making them the foundations of marital life. These objectives are realized in the peace of mind which comes through wholesome sexual experience with the spouse whom one loves, in the enlargement of the circle of love and affection between the two families united through marriage, and in the nurturing of affection and tenderness among the children under the loving care of their parents. These are the objectives mentioned by Allah Ta'ala: And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell with them in tranquility, and He has put love and mercy between you. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)
The Sexual Relationship
At the same time, the Qur'an does not neglect the sensual aspect and the physical relationship between husband and wife. It guides human beings to the best path, fulfilling the demands of the sexual urge while avoiding harmful or deviant practices.
It is reported that the Jews and Zoroastrians used to go to extremes in avoiding any physical contact with menstruating women, while the Christians continue to have sexual relations with them without regard to the flow of blood. The Arabs of the period of jahiliyyah would not eat, drink, or sit with women who were menstruating and would send them to separate dwelling just as the Jews and Zoroastrians did.
Accordingly, some Muslims asked the Prophet (peace be on him) about what is permitted and what is forbidden in relation to menstruating women. The following verse was then revealed: And they ask thee about menstruation. Say: It is a hurt, so refrain from women during their menstruation and do not approach them until they are cleansed. And when they have cleansed themselves you may go in to them in the manner ordained by Allah; indeed, Allah loves those who turn to Him and He loves those who are clean. (2:222)
Some people understood the phrase, "Refrain from women," as meaning that they should not live together in the same house during the menstrual periods. The Prophet (peace be on him) then explained the correct meaning of this verse, saying, I ordered you only to refrain from having intercourse with menstruating women and did not tell you to send them out of the house as the foreigners do.
When the Jews of Madinah heard this they said, "This man does not like to leave any part of what we do unchanged, but does the opposite."('Tafsir of al-Razi, vol. 6, p. 66.)
Thus the Muslim can fondle and enjoy his menstruating wife, avoiding only the place of hurt. The Islamic position in this regard is, as always, a middle one, between the one extreme of expelling the menstruating woman from the house and the other extreme of having intercourse with her.
Recent medical researchers have discovered that the menstrual flow contains a toxic substance which, if undischarged, may be harmful to the body. Likewise, they have discovered the reason why intercourse should be avoided during this time. The reproductive organs become highly congested and the nerves very sensitive due to the secretion of the internal glands; consequently, intercourse may irritate them, possibly impeding the menstma1 flow and causing inflammation of the sexual organs.(See Al-Islam wal-Tibb al-Hadith (Islam and Modern Medicine) by the late 'Abdul 'Aziz Isma'il.)
Prohibited Intercourse
Concerning the sensual relationship, these words of Allah Ta'ala were revealed: Your wives are a tillage to you, so go in to your tillage as you will, and send (ahead something) for your souls; and fear Allah and know that you will (one day) meet Him, and give glad tidings to the Believers. (2:223)
The Indian scholar, Waliullah Dehlavi, in explaining the Occasion of the revelation of this ayah and its significance says: The Jews had unnecessarily restricted the postures of sexual intercourse without any divine authority. The Ansar (of Madinah) being their friends, followed their practice and used to say, 'If a man has intercourse with his wife through the vagina while he is on her back, the child will have a squint.' Thus the verse, 'So go in to your tillage as you will' was revealed; that is, it is immaterial whether the husband is on top of his wife or on her back as long as intercourse is through the vagina, which constitutes the tillage. This is so because these matters have nothing to do with religious or social policy but are entirely a matter of personal taste. Such sayings were among the absurdities of the Jews and Allah Ta'ala abolished them. (Hujjat Allah al-Baligah, vol. 2, p. 134. )
It is not a function of religion to define the postures of sexual intercourse. However, a Muslim who fears Allah in his relationship with his wife and possesses the certainty that he will meet Him avoids the anus because the Prophet (peace be on him) said, "Do not approach women from the anus." (Reported by Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisai, and Ibn Majah.)
Again, he referred to such an act as "minor sodomy." (Reported by Ahmad and al-Nisai.) A woman of the Ansar asked him concerning vaginal intercourse from the back; he then recited to her, 'Your wives are a tilth to you, so go in to your tilth as you will,' but with only one receptacle. (Reported by Ahmad.)
'Umar came to him one day saying, "O Messenger of Allah, I am ruined!" "What has ruined you?" asked the Prophet (peace be on him). He replied, "Last night I turned my wife over," meaning that he had had vaginal intercourse with her from the back. The Prophet (peace be on him) did not say anything to him until the verse cited above was revealed. Then he told him, "From the front or the back, but avoid the anus and intercourse during menstruation." (Reported by Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi.)
Guarding the Secrets Between the Husband and Wife
The Qur'an praises virtuous wives, ...Who are obedient, guarding in secret what Allah has guarded....(4:34)
Among those secrets which must be guarded is the intimate relationship with the spouse which it would be wrong to discuss in a gathering or speak about to friends. The Prophet (peace be on him) said: Among those who will occupy the worst position in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife and she with him, and then he spreads her secret. (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Daoud, and al-Bazzar.)
Abu Hurairah narrated, Allah's Messenger (peace be on him) led us in prayer, and when he had finished he turned toward us and said, 'Remain seated. Is there among you the man who comes to his wife, closes the door, and draws the curtain, and then goes out and speaks about it, saying, "I did this and I did that with my wife?" They remained silent. Then he turned toward the women and asked, 'Is there among you one who tells about such things?' A girl raised herself on her knees so that the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) could see her and listen to what she said. She said, 'Yes, by Allah, the men talk about it and the women do, too.' Then the Prophet (peace be on him) said, 'Do you know what those who do this are like? The ones who do this are like a male and female devil who meet each other in the road and satisfy their desire while the people look on. (Reported by the compilers of Sunan.)
This emphatic way of expressing the matter should be sufficient to turn the Muslim away from such ill-considered and degraded behavior, which would make him or her resemble a devil!
Good continuation Dianek be good,i hope this helps a little to put things in the right perspective and encourage a progressive attitude.
Wassalam
Jameel
Salaam,
I belive it would not be instructive to continue with this present thread. However, it needs to be stated that the responses were mostly positive. To Diane, I pray that Islam brings ease into your life. I pray Islam increases the love you and your husband share. I think it took courage to post what you did and I pray others have learned from your questions.
I belive it would not be instructive to continue with this present thread. However, it needs to be stated that the responses were mostly positive. To Diane, I pray that Islam brings ease into your life. I pray Islam increases the love you and your husband share. I think it took courage to post what you did and I pray others have learned from your questions.
dianek
Junior Member
My goodness! I sure got an earful didn't I? NO it was not meant to bring a west vs arab arguement. I just know that from my perspective I want to know my husband's every thought......EVEN if one day his mind takes him to someone he loved and loss in the past. I want to KNOW him that completely and him to know me that completely so that we understand each other better. That is ALL!!!!!!!!! But, I do think that the "arab" men that I know are very arrogant........my husband included. I used to find it a virtue and now fiind it annoying! And someone posted about all that an arab husband does for his wife.......PLEASE........I take care of it all and he sits back and travels as he pleases builds his home overseas, ships things for that home over there and I sit here in the same pair of sneakers for 3 years while he is out buying himself Timberlands and Nike.......where is the justice in that. He spent 600.00 today on himself and 2 of the 4 children, that will be travelling home with him, and not ONE dollar on me or even care to ask me if there is something I would like. And here it is I just get home and now have to wash clothes before the work week begins because, I don't have enough clothes to go weeks wearing something new everyday!
Please close this thread........I only wanted you all to see what kind of life I was coming from so that you could better understand how HARD it is for me to pull myself into learning Islam.........and submitting.....I have never been one to submit.......I am a purebread rebel......and trying to change my mentalitiy is not so easy. But I am trying...........thank God though, my husband loves my temperment as long as it isn't directed at him.......
I tease him by telling him that he married a American, Irish, German and Italian girl............there is no way that I can't be trouble!!!!
Please close this thread........I only wanted you all to see what kind of life I was coming from so that you could better understand how HARD it is for me to pull myself into learning Islam.........and submitting.....I have never been one to submit.......I am a purebread rebel......and trying to change my mentalitiy is not so easy. But I am trying...........thank God though, my husband loves my temperment as long as it isn't directed at him.......
I tease him by telling him that he married a American, Irish, German and Italian girl............there is no way that I can't be trouble!!!!
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