PLEASE ADVICE ME

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by sweetshaama, Jun 27, 2012.

  1. sweetshaama
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    sweetshaama New Member

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    Assalaamu Alaikum, Dear Brothers and Sisters,

    Here I am facing another dilemma with regards to my marriage. A brother brought in a marriage proposal to my parents for me, through his parents. he is already a friend of mine and I know him averagely well, he is a person who practices Quran and Sunnah and has a very good upbringing, has a good education and a job. I like him so I said okay to the proposal. His parents came over to see me and they like me. But apparently his grandfather is having second thoughts as he has some other girl in mind. But the brother likes me and he has assured me that. Now the proposal is processing and his family is trying to convince the grandfather, whether it would happen or not it's all in Allah's hands. This brother has told me that he would carefully deal with his family and to have faith in Allah, and to be positive, whatever happens would happen according to the will of Allah. I have placed my trust in Allah and hoping for the best.

    Meanwhile my parents got another proposal for me from a different family, who wills to come and see me. Since the former proposal has not been confirmed, my parents does not want to just depend on it hence they have agreed to for them to come and see me. Their opinion is whatever comes through they will go with that. I know nothing about this bro's level of Deen except that his parents has told my parents that he is religious.

    Both these brothers are equally qualified, having good jobs and coming from good families.

    Now my situation is that I honestly like the first proposal as I know the brother already, and about his character. I have faith in Allah that he would do what's best for me. So I have prayed Isthkara and left the rest to Allah. I have told this to my parents too, but they are saying since the other party has not given their consent yet we have to consider others. My only concern is that, is it right for me to go and see this other brother when we are still waiting for a reply from the other party ?

    Please help me with this, as I am extremely confused, and I don't want to get emotional and make wrong decisions.

    Jazakallah Khair
  2. Amir_of_spain
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    Amir_of_spain Junior Member

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    Asalam wailkium

    You should give option one an ultimatum, a deadline after which if no affirmative reply is given then proceed with option 2, but then option 1 at that stage is closed for good.
  3. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    Be honest with the family of the first brother. Your family has to make a decision. How are you with this? What did the first brother say to your father. That is the important factor. What he says to you is one thing. The young man needs to be honest about his intentions with your father. That is best.
  4. Sister Maryam
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    Sister Maryam New Member

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    Assalaam alaikum,
    My Dear Sister
    i think first of all you should be calm and be sure Allah SWT will show you the right way,on the other hand i agree with brother to define deadline bcz it isnt good idea you wait for answer and at same time you meet other brother. another thing is you should talk to your parents and explain you dont want to meet other and prefer to be sure about one brother.
    dont worry my sister ,every thing will be fine inshAllah.
  5. PeacefulHumanity
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    PeacefulHumanity :)Smile! It's Sunnah

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    :salam2:

    I don't have much experience with this, but my advice is to look at it from a positive point of view: You have options! Unfortunately, many people don't. From what I understand, people in my family never saw/spoke to each other before their parents forced them to marry.

    Trust Allah (SWT), and InshaAllah it will be alright. Trust me, there are plenty of worse things that could be happening regarding a marriage. Best of luck and I hope it all works out well. :)

    (PS: Make sure your wedding is free from any pagan "traditions.")
  6. MuslimShadow
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    MuslimShadow Junior Member

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    *smiles*......forced them to marry.That's common in here.My parents go along well with each other but every time there is a fight between them(over very petty things), my mum is sure to say...*This guy was never meant for me*.lol.(She wasn't even given a choice.)

    That's a very good point you have made ,brother.

    Sister shamaa,
    Try to see every hadith related to marriage.Follow the sunnah.Marry the one who is more pious, righteous and humble.:)
    Don't Make haste decisions.:)

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