TheHumbleWun
Banned
thank you all so much. im in the uk ad i have to admit most my friends are non-muslim white girls. but they are very nice and understanding. im sure one of them will shelter me until im on my own feet. but running away is harder than it sounds, its easier said than done. it will crush my mum. my mum is is pakistan, dad wont let her come back, hel get violent with her. e wont even let her stay at her brothers house, but makes her stay at his sisters house! I hate his sister, shes so mean, and shes my mother in law! there isnt a reason for this. my dad is just very controlling and extremely strict.
Salaam,
It saddens me that there are Muslim men like this out there. I assume your husband is probably 22-26 years old. You should have your husband and father sit at the table and you need to speak out seriously about your feelings, but without anger.
Ask your husband how he feel about the marriage, what are his standards, what does he look for wife in a wife, what does he want for his future? You should tells yours as well. People have fixed standard, such as religious qualities, beauty or even materialistic. Marriage is also about compromise. You give and take. iYou'll be suprised what you'll learn about each other. Communication is vital in marriage.
If your dad has a history of violence then it's best to speak these issues around other family members, a mediator, and even friends. Take your husband to a masjid and have the talk there with others to help you. No one
should be forced into anything. Making choices is one of our unalienable rights given by Allah swt.
Get a job, focus on school, and keep yourself busy. It will make your husband reflect on his lonely time. Your dad won't say as much. You might also try doing activities with your husband so that he gets to know you better and you get to know him better. The fact that he almost said divorce 3x times shows there is still room for hope and I'm sure he knows the consequences.
If none of the above work, your last resort would be divorce. Only Allah knows what is best for you. I pray that Allah resolves your situatioin and brings ease between you and your husband. Ameen.
this is where I say thank God I live in the US.
What's that suppose to mean? There is prostitution, forced marriages, incest, rape by family members, women cooking their children in the oven, etc in the U.S. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Pride is the cousin of arrogance.