Please Help!!!!

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code_red613

Junior Member
Salam-

I have a question about polygamy in Islam... I'm really confused because before i married my husband I was told that you can marry another women if the first wife can not have a child but the first wife has to agree to it. but now i am being told different.. I was just wondering if anyone can help me.. if anyone knows the conditions on this or if the wife has to agree for this to happen. I can have children but i was told this was the only reason for a man to have a second wife. im also a new convert so i am still learning alot but i dont know where to go for help on this situation. thank you
 
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Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

If you are patient and review the posts there have been several discussions on this subject. I also recommend that you visit www.islamonline.net. They have a cybercousnelor. Please take the time to read through the posts here on TTI. Some have been very informative. And always feel free to ask us questions.
 
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code_red613

Junior Member
ok i read most of them... but i still didnt get my question answered :( what if the wife doesnt accept it can the man still do that? and what are the conditions of it.. all i saw is if the wife was sick or disabled... is that it? because i dont think that its fair.. i was told only if the wife cannot have children and she has to agree with it but now im being told different.. is that even allowed in Canada?
 
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Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

Sister you are asking for a quick answer to a very complex question. I respect your question. However, there are answers that are given by scholars of the faith. I am not a scholar. I am also a firm beliver of marriage and polygomy. I posted a thread on 50% of the faith and if I recall there was much debate on all aspects of Islamic marriage. Please speak to an iman in person. This is a delicate subject and deserves respect. It is not a matter of fair or unfair. It is a more profound social issue.
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
code_red613 said:
ok i read most of them... but i still didnt get my question answered :( what if the wife doesnt accept it can the man still do that? and what are the conditions of it.. all i saw is if the wife was sick or disabled... is that it? because i dont think that its fair.. i was told only if the wife cannot have children and she has to agree with it but now im being told different.. is that even allowed in Canada?
Click to expand...

Well sister, the thing is we really really want to help you but we want to give you opinions of scholars , not our own opnions . So bear with us . InshAllah someone can come back with an answer to this....InshAllah you will be patient ....


Polygamy in Canada
 
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aeeshafarhana

New Member
salam to all!!!
the thing you mention sis (if the wife cannot give birth or give her husband a kids) is just one of the condition for a man to get another wife. there's alot of condition apply but in your case,as what u said that u can have children and there's no reason for ur husband to have another wife. well in that condition yes but what if there's a reason behind???about the agreement,hmmm once the husband tell it to his wife and ask permission for his second marriage then if the wife agree or disagree to the husband decision,well the wife cannot do anything but to accept it even its hurts. The most important things is that the husband ask and faithfully said his plan to his wife... On the wife's side,she has the right to ask for divorse if and only if she disagree on that... well that's all i can share... anyways, i got this idea to my teacher in Islamic studies once i ask this kind of questionand she answered the way I answered your question... thanks...
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
I ask a knowledgeable brothe . Here is what he said

In theory he doesn't need her permission but I suggest that she arranges for someone (Family/Friends/Imam) to speak to her husband as he should be nice to the wife as it is Sunnah and her mental well-being is his responsibility.


All wives feel bad about polygamy but if she is so sensitive about it then her feelings should be discussed; we know from the Sunnah that Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) told Ali (RA) that Fatima (RA)'s feelings will be hurt so he abstained from it.

Allah (SWT) knows best .
 
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