Question about having a beard

[PeacefulHumanity]

:salam2:

I'm a teenager and I've never had a beard. The most I've ever had was a week's worth of stubble (not any thicker than my arm hair). My mom makes me shave every week and I've been wondering about that. Am I required to have a beard? Is she wrong to make me shave my stubble every week?

 

[Ayanle]

how old are you?

edit - and there is no such thing as a silly/stupid question brother, just ones that don't make any sense

 

[PeacefulHumanity]

how old are you?

edit - and there is no such thing as a silly/stupid question brother, just ones that don't make any sense

I'm nineteen

 

[thariq2005]

Assalamu `alaykum

Islamically it is obligatory for you to grow your beard and it is not permissible for your mother to ask you to shave it.

Obviously try and explain this to your mother in a nice and kind manner.

 

[PeacefulHumanity]

Obviously try and explain this to your mother in a nice and kind manner.

That's easier said than done.

I also now realized that almost none of the male adults in my family kept beards. Out of the 20+ uncles that I've got, I think one (and only one) has a beard. And he's not even a blood relative. Yikes.

Another question: How long does the beard have to be and how much of my face needs to be covered? Am I allowed to trim it? I don't want food to get stuck in it or anything like that.

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalaamu Alaykum,

You said "it easier said than done." If you're a revert, I'd advice that you worry about other basic things right now---your family must get used to you praying five times a day, fasting during the month of Ramadan (which is coming soon yaaaay) and of course having Muslim brothers around. A lot of "Islamic culture" will probably be new to them, so give them a small dose at a time. Then you can worry about the beard, Allah knows best, and I ask my brothers and sisters to correct me if I am wrong on this---PLEASE note that it is just my OPINION to do what I just advised you to do---the path is harder for reverts and new practicing Muslims whose family are not practicing yet. So just keep that in mind and think about before you decide to grow your beard right away....

 

[PeacefulHumanity]

Well, I meant revert as in I myself was kind of an atheist for a number of years before I saw the light. I was born into a Muslim family, but it's more culturally Muslim than religiously Muslim, as my parents really didn't know much about the religion (whatever stuff they heard from their parents, they did, even if it was Bidah.). Until I started asking myself what I was doing everyday and why I existed, I didn't believe in the existence of God as anything consequential to me (I regret those years, sincerely).

But a long story short --- My mom is pretty stubborn. One time when I tried to wake up my brother to pray Fajr, she told him it would be okay if he kept sleeping. That's what I mean by not being easy to convince her that something is to our spiritual benefit. She prays and fasts and stuff, but its all the little things. If that makes sense.

 

[IHearIslam]

Thats kinda what I meant akhi,

even Muslims parents go in a "shock phase" when their child starts practicing Islam in every way possible---some will call you "extremist" others will say "you're still young, you've enough time" and so on. What we do should be done in small steps...they have to see that we are serious about it. Family members do also think it is just a phase for us....and will expect us to go back to our normal days after awhile. So, we need to not go with full energy at first, but with little energy so our interest does not die and so we make sure that our parents are aware that THIS IS SERIOUS and they'll be more surprises to come in the future! May Allah make it easy for us all---

Ameeeen,
Take care,

 

[MuslimShadow]

Walaikum assalam warahmatullah

Yeah, it's not a stupid question at all rather it's general...

If you are ready and serious about keeping a beard then i say go ahead...don't hesitate.Don't look at others,make your own decisions.Your mom will probably get used to it too after some days.She may taunt you initially....it happens.

Tell her that you love Islam and want to have a Muslim identity.Explain to her the importance of beard.If she argues with you then you can say something like......* i love you mom but i love ALLAH more*.....i know it's dramatic..lol... but you gotta try.

If she's really stubborn as in really then maybe you can try next year...

Hope it helps.

 

[PeacefulHumanity]

Thanks for all the answers. It really helped. It's nice to know we're all going through this. Does anyone have any answers regarding the smaller questions I asked (about trimming and size, etc.)?

 

[Hassan]

Brother, if you search some places, even this site, has many threads with descriptions what is allowed to be trimmed and what is not, with evidences from Qu'ran and Hadeeth. Off the top of my head, cut the moustache and grow the beard, which is everything on the face and under the jaw, to the bottom of the moustache and the top of the jawbone level with your ear. Once it is the length that you can grab in a closed fist, you may trim what comes after. Trimming to tidy it as it grows, I don't feel I remember well enough the rulings so will not comment. (Sorry, I think I didn't explain that well, please verify what I say.)

Why I wanted to respond was to add, Alhamdulillah I find it easy to grow my beard and it is getting very full. I love my beard, it reminds me every day that what I do is for Allah swt, and I do believe it has helped me keep away from fitnah. (I am a revert) It also reminds friends and family, helps them see I am serious in my Faith, and together with my actions, that may rub off on them. As I said, it is easy for me to grow - I would not chastise any brother finding it difficult, but I have found so much good from growing it, I maybe do not really understand their difficulties.

I think yes, there are more pressing matters for you, but I also agree that if you feel to grow it, then MashAllah do so. Every thing you do that is easy strengthens your Faith, and helps you tackle the things you need to try more with.

Edit: There are 8 of these clips, if you have an hour spare, this brother speaks on the beard very well, he covers what should grow etc in detail, and you may find, Inshallah, it helps you speaking to your family:
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcGb7coZMm4&feature=plcp[/ame]

 

[abu_ameer]

As Salaamu Alaikum,

I just wanted to share my little story. I am a Muslim and did not keep a beard until i was 23 years old. I was married at 22. When i started to grow my beard long, my father would not say anything but would ask an uncle to speak to me about waiting a while before keeping it. My mother had passed away and she would probably have beaten me up if she saw me keep it early. I know it is difficult especially with mothers. But i kept shaving and letting it grow longer each time until i thought to myself, why am i doing this for. So i just kept it and my father accepted it. May Allah make it easy for you.