question about living arrangement after marraige??

[Ashima33]

Salaam,

I have had a brother talk about marriage with me... we have both decided that we need to wait a long while, but I still am wondering about certain things. one thing that will be a huge factor if we do decide to marry will be his mother. She wants him to marry a pakistani girl and I am an american/white convert. So... I don't think she would be too thrilled. My question is about the living arrangement after marraige. She is a single mother and he lives with and supports her. Is it a part of the culture (or maybe even Islam) that he continue to live with her after he is married if he still helps to support his mother? I guess my concern with this is if I lived with his mother, I'm worried that she would make things very difficult in everyday life. I think I could handle this if I had a separate home, but I know if would wear me down living in the environment where I could never be "good enough." But at the same time... I wouldn't want it to seems as if I was stealing her son... even though he has even claimed they get a long better when they aren't around each other a lot and he would someday like a home of his own.

Thank you for any advice =)

 

[AlQurtubi]

Sister ashima, please contact sister shyhijabi. She has been through this phase and is about to get married to a pakistani guy (inshALLAH).

I know it will be hard for him to convince his mother but it could be easier for him as well. The pakistani mothers can be so hard in this situation. You and him need to pray alot. BUT, may be that she isnt like conventional pakistani mothers and might welcome you. That would be really good.

I would suggest to live with her because if you dont do it, the impression will get worst. Moreover, she would be all alone and your husband will need to visit her everyday. This would take up time, which he may have given you otherwise

You might get a few problems in the beginning but inshALLAH, things will be fine as time passes by. Just live with her and have patience in the beginning. I am telling you that you will enjoy it once you turn her heart into wax

Opologize to sister Shyhijabi, as i have been referring too many people to her.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum
Well siste r... im a guy but in a pakistani with a similar situation ... well wat i feel like is a good way to make my mom feel comfortable hopefully in the future is use Islam ... If you are a good muslim then there is no reason to reject u ... you can Quran and sunnah to support your situation
Well i know Pakistani parents are really stubborn Like literally but in Islam there is one ummah no countries ... and if you are going to be following islamic shariah rules than thats really close the Pakistani culture anywayz so she shudn't have too much of a problem -- inshallah
like AlQurturbi bro said try prayiing a lot and maybe take things slowly with his mom