Regarding Christmas/ Non-Muslim Family

[poetic]

I am a fairly new muslim, converted a few months ago.. Before I became a muslim I didnt follow any religon what so ever, but I would do christmas, thanksgiving ect.. Only for presents and to spend time with family, I never took it as a religious thing.. My family (mom,sister,dad..other close relatives) do christmas, SOME more religously, but my mother, father, sister dont really do it that way.. My parents are difficult people, they take bits of every religon and throw it together, none of what they say and believe make sense, I have tried to talk to them about Islam but they are STUBBORN. Anyways, my question is should I give and accept gifts from them, and do dinner with them, or would it be considered not following Islam properly or haram. If I cannot do this then I have to go through all the stress and trouble of telling them I cant take part in it, and it will cause chaos. They dont like my choice and how I raise my daughter, they wont even eat my food because its halal, its rediculous.. Help me out please !

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

Sister I know that can be difficult because I had that issue with my family as well. But, you should not take gifts from them on Christmas. Because you know why they are giving you this gift and what it represents for them and in Islam we do not celebrate it so you should not take any part in it. At first your family my not agree but eventually they will get over it inshallah. Personally, even if it does cause some chaos we have to stay true to Allah and our beliefs as muslims. When you are a revert alot of things will be awkard to families at first but they will adapt over time. Not saying all will be accepting but most learn to deal with it. As reverts we have to be very careful with compromising the religion to make others happy and stay away from bid'ah and shirk. At first sister it will be hard I will not tell you a lie but compromising with them at first and then trying to change later will be even harder.

Inshallah sister I will keep you in my Du'aas

Wasalam Amirah80

 

[poetic]

:salam2:

Sister I know that can be difficult because I had that issue with my family as well. But, you should not take gifts from them on Christmas. Because you know why they are giving you this gift and what it represents for them and in Islam we do not celebrate it so you should not take any part in it. At first your family my not agree but eventually they will get over it inshallah. Personally, even if it does cause some chaos we have to stay true to Allah and our beliefs as muslims. When you are a revert alot of things will be awkard to families at first but they will adapt over time. Not saying all will be accepting but most learn to deal with it. As reverts we have to be very careful with compromising the religion to make others happy and stay away from bid'ah and shirk. At first sister it will be hard I will not tell you a lie but compromising with them at first and then trying to change later will be even harder.

Inshallah sister I will keep you in my Du'aas

Wasalam Amirah80

This is very hard because of my daughter who is 14 months old, they will want to buy her things, and im not very well off for money.. they will cause trouble, and are bad people, im stressed.. when I say you cant buy gifts they will say its because of my soon to be husband, it makes me upset, these are my choices !

 

[poetic]

I cant even exchange gifts on eid because that would be wrong, they are not muslim and eid is a time for rewrding our selves as muslims.. Im thinking maybe I can do a through the year thing, but I know they will still buy her stuff for their holidays and when I turn them down guilt will come only because of my mother, its SO hard

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

I know it will be hard sister. Let me suggest something Since you said they do not follow 1 particular religion and they incorporate several religions into 1. The can incorporate Eid into there celebrations and purchase gifts for your daughter on Eid

Not sure if they are willing to do that But, realistically you cannot celebrate their holiday because it has no basis in Islam. As far as your husband goes I hate that they think like that but over time inshallah they will get over it. When I converted my mother thought my husband wanted to marry me for citizenship and it has been in the USA for years before I even met him. Now she loves him like her own son. Some things just take time. I know you may need somethings sister but you have to believe Allah Ta ala will provide for you and not think that receving this items on Chirstmas is your only way. Because its not. Allah is Al-Razzaq (The provider) Again, sister make Du'aa and I will also make Du'aa for you.

*edit* I just seen your second post about Eid. Actually, non-muslims can share in Eid with muslims nothing is wrong with that. This can actually open doors for dawah.

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: i understand fully your dilemma, sister. i, too, come from a family that is not religious per say but have a family gathering at christmas for a chance to get together and exchange gifts. i am not schooled enough to give you proper sound advice on the issue but i pray to Allah that he will make it easier for you and that you choose the right decision that will be most beneficial spiritually for you and your little family.

i just don't know if it is a terrible thing to part take in the gathering and exchanging of gifts to please our parents when there is no religious symbolism attached... but you know what they say, we should avoid things we are doubtful about, also, to air on the side of caution

 

[poetic]

:salam2:

I know it will be hard sister. Let me suggest something Since you said they do not follow 1 particular religion and they incorporate several religions into 1. The can incorporate Eid into there celebrations and purchase gifts for your daughter on Eid

Not sure if they are willing to do that But, realistically you cannot celebrate their holiday because it has no basis in Islam. As far as your husband goes I hate that they think like that but over time inshallah they will get over it. When I converted my mother thought my husband wanted to marry me for citizenship and it has been in the USA for years before I even met him. Now she loves him like her own son. Some things just take time. I know you may need somethings sister but you have to believe Allah Ta ala will provide for you and not think that receving this items on Chirstmas is your only way. Because its not. Allah is Al-Razzaq (The provider) Again, sister make Du'aa and I will also make Du'aa for you.

*edit* I just seen your second post about Eid. Actually, non-muslims can share in Eid with muslims nothing is wrong with that. This can actually open doors for dawah.

Are you sure about non-muslims being able to take part in eid, after all it is for muslims..

 

[amirah80]

Are you sure about non-muslims being able to take part in eid, after all it is for muslims..

Salam Sister

Yes I am sure sister. The eids are for Islam but again but not limited to only muslims. Again, when non muslims join in the festivals they see muslims united and also get a positive look on Islam and this can become a opportunity for dawah. Think of it like this you mentioned Eid is only for muslims, right? The mosque are made for muslims to worship Allah but you can invite non-muslims. When you invite a non muslim to educate them in Islam the times are not restricted.

*edit*

The problem is wanting to celebrate Kuffaar holidays which are their Eids. Them celebrating your Islamic Eids is not sujected them to bid'ah as they would be doing you. Since Islam is the truth we need to guide them too it which ever way you can.

Also, I found some fatwas regarding celebrating their holidays.



http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/11650/celebrations

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/1130/celebrations

 

[mmnoorulhaque]

:salam2: sister!!!!
i havent read any other post in answering u ..i have only read yours and after that i m writing to u!!!
sisetr do u know convincing toword ISLAM is best vitue..or deed...and ALAH have send all the PROPHETS for the same porpose..that to call people towords ALLAH.....doing dinner with your family is never haram (if haram ingrediants are not added in food )....but u should have solid intention that i will eat with them...live with them because thats why i would be able to convince them to ISLAM...and u told that ur perants are too hard....thats not right!!!..the people of Arab to whom Our beloved prophet Muahmmad peace be upon him worked hard are more hard people i supose!!! if ALLAH has written ISLAM for your family then they will be blessed as u r!!!MASHALLAH!!....one thing i would like to advise ia that u should offer two rakah of salah only for your perants and family member for their (convinsment to islam)....and one thing more recite darood shareef when ever u r going to face ur famiy or parents...inshALLAH this will make their hearts open for Truth and ISLAM...inshALLAH.......i will also offer two rakah of salat for ur parents and family!!!!
MAY ALLAH KEEP U HAPPY...AND pomote ur emaan to more higher level....aamaeeen!!!

 

[palestine]

i will post the fatwa:

 

[palestine]

Can she attend Christmas celebrations in order to greet her relatives?
She says: I want to become Muslim, but my family gather to celebrate Christmas, and I want to go and greet them. This is not with the intention of celebrating or joining in, but simply to make the most of the opportunity of my relatives getting together. Is this allowed?


We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen,who answered as follows:

No, it is not permitted. If Allaah blesses her with Islam, then the first thing she must do is to distance herself from her former religion and its festivals.

And Allaah knows best.


Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen

 

[palestine]

Ruling on celebrating non-Muslim holidays and congratulating them
Can a muslim celebrate a non muslim holiday like Thanksgiving?


Praise be to Allaah.

Greeting the kuffaar on Christmas and other religious holidays of theirs is haraam, by consensus, as Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah: "Congratulating the kuffaar on the rituals that belong only to them is haraam by consensus, as is congratulating them on their festivals and fasts by saying ‘A happy festival to you’ or ‘May you enjoy your festival,’ and so on. If the one who says this has been saved from kufr, it is still forbidden. It is like congratulating someone for prostrating to the cross, or even worse than that. It is as great a sin as congratulating someone for drinking wine, or murdering someone, or having illicit sexual relations, and so on. Many of those who have no respect for their religion fall into this error; they do not realize the offensiveness of their actions. Whoever congratulates a person for his disobedience or bid’ah or kufr exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah."

Congratulating the kuffaar on their religious festivals is haraam to the extent described by Ibn al-Qayyim because it implies that one accepts or approves of their rituals of kufr, even if one would not accept those things for oneself. But the Muslim should not aceept the rituals of kufr or congratulate anyone else for them, because Allaah does not accept any of that at all, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

"If you disbelieve, then verily, Allaah is not in need of you, He likes not disbelief for His slaves. And if you are grateful (by being believers), He is pleased therewith for you. . ."
[al-Zumar 39:7]

". . . This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islaam as your religion . . ."
[al-Maa’idah 5:3]

So congratulating them is forbidden, whether they are one’s colleagues at work or otherwise.

If they greet us on the occasion of their festivals, we should not respond, because these are not our festivals, and because they are not festivals which are acceptable to Allaah. These festivals are innovations in their religions, and even those which may have been prescribed formerly have been abrogated by the religion of Islaam, with which Allaah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to the whole of mankind. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]

It is haraam for a Muslim to accept invitations on such occasions, because this is worse than congratulating them as it implies taking part in their celebrations.

Similarly, Muslims are forbidden to imitate the kuffaar by having parties on such occasions, or exchanging gifts, or giving out sweets or food, or taking time off work, etc., because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." Shaykh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtidaa’ al-siraat al-mustaqeem mukhaalifat ashaab al-jaheem: "Imitating them in some of their festivals implies that one is pleased with their false beliefs and practices, and gives them the hope that they may have the opportunity to humiliate and mislead the weak."

Whoever does anything of this sort is a sinner, whether he does it out of politeness or to be friendly, or because he is too shy to refuse, or for whatever other reason, because this is hypocrisy in Islaam, and because it makes the kuffaar feel proud of their religion.

Allaah is the One Whom we ask to make the Muslims feel proud of their religion, to help them adhere steadfastly to it, and to make them victorious over their enemies, for He is the Strong and Omnipotent.



Majmoo’ah Fataawa wa Rasaa’il al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 3/369)

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

Jazak Allah Khair Akti palestine. I just put the link in my post so thanks for posted it here.

Wasalam

 

[palestine]

Can Muslims Celebrate Christmas ?
Muslims have their own identity. In order to keep this identity, Muslim scholars said that Muslims must not celebrate Christmas or holidays of non-Muslims. By participation in Christmas, it is possible that slowly one may lose his or her consciousness of this basic point of difference between Islam and Christianity. Muslims must be very careful in this matter. The greatest danger is for our next generation, who may slowly lose their Islamic faith in tawhid and may start believing in Jesus as "more than a prophet and servant of Allah".

We should tell our children that we are Muslims and this is not our holiday. This is the holiday of our Christian neighbors and friends. We may give greetings to our Christian friends and neighbors on their holiday, but we should not make it our own holiday.

In response to the question you posed, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:



The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Every people have their `Eid…" Some celebrations are of a religious nature, and some others are social and cultural. Some celebrations are based on beliefs and practices that are contrary to Islamic teachings, and some celebrations are not of that nature. Some people claim that Christmas is now a secular holiday and it is very much an American national holiday rather than a religious holiday. But it is wrong to assume that because this holiday is national, it has ceased to be Christian. It is true that this holiday is very popular and it is extremely commercialized; nevertheless it is basically a religious holiday. Its very name and all its symbolism is Christian through and through.

Christians celebrate at Christmas what they believe to be the "day of the birth of God's Son" or what they call "God Incarnate". Thus it is not only a celebration of another religion, it is also a celebration that is based on a belief that is totally against the teachings of Islam. From the Islamic point of view, the belief in the "Son of God" or "God in the flesh" is a blasphemy and kufr (denial of God's Oneness). By participation in Christmas, it is possible that slowly one may lose his or her consciousness of this basic point of difference. Muslims must be very careful in this matter. The greatest danger is for our next generation, who may slowly lose their Islamic faith in tawhid and may start believing in Jesus as "more than a prophet and servant of Allah".

The argument that "Christmas is, after all, Prophet Jesus' birthday and so there is no harm in celebrating Christmas ” is neither logical nor Islamic. Why should Muslims celebrate Jesus' birthday? Why not the birthdays of the other 24 prophets and messengers who are mentioned in the Qur'an by name? For us Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is the final Prophet and Messenger of Allah, not Jesus. Christians believe that Jesus was the last one and they say that "after God spoke through many prophets … in these last days he spoke to us through his son whom he made to inherit every thing" (New Testament, Hebrews 1:1). Thus they celebrate his coming, but for us Muslims, Prophet Muhammad was the last Prophet and Allah appointed him for all people and for all times to come.

I do agree that our little children are deeply affected with the festivities and glitter of this holiday. We should try to take them to some Islamic camps and conferences at this time and give them some other alternate programs and activities. But Muslim families should not have Christmas trees in their homes, nor should they put up lights inside or outside their homes at this time. We should tell our children that we are Muslims and this is not our holiday. This is the holiday of our Christian neighbors and friends. We may give greetings to our Christian friends and neighbors on their holiday, but we should not make it our own holiday.

We Muslims should give special attention to our own Islamic festivities -Eids. In this way our children will be attracted to our own celebrations rather than looking at others.

Unfortunately, there are some Muslims who do not pay any attention to Ramadan and `Eids. Some of them do not even come to `Eid prayers and even if they come, they do not take their day off from work. Thus their children have no idea about Islamic holidays or they think that Islam is a religion without any festivals and celebrations.
Explaining the reasons why Muslims don’t celebrate and believe in Christmas, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
Christmas was a pagan custom which was adopted into Christianity; it has nothing to do with reverence and love of Jesus, the mighty Messenger of Allah that we Muslims hold in the highest regard and respect. If Jesus were to come today, whether or not he would identify himself with those who celebrate Christmas is a question one should ask seriously.

If we are celebrating the great teachings of Jesus or other prophets, we must do so everyday. To do so means to practice love, mercy, justice and compassion and to be actively engaged in doing the will of God. (Source: islam.ca )

Taken from islamonline
Courtesy: www.everymuslim.net ↑

 

[palestine]

:salam2:

Jazak Allah Khair Akti palestine. I just put the link in my post so thanks for posted it here.

Wasalam

wa iyaka ukhti. asalamu alaykum wrwb.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,


This is one of those posts that tests us. When people extend themselves and invite me for dinner, I attend. I am gracious. When someone buys me a gift I accept. The gift is just a token of love.
Families are our life support. If they have a celebration we can be guests. We are not to isolate ourselves from others. We are not closed communities that build fences around ourselves.
Who knows if during the dinner conversation an opportunity appears wherein we can discuss the sense of Islam we may assist someone in making a life changing decision.
Christmas dinners are not religious gatherings. People come together and open gifts and eat. People inivite those who are alone so they are not lonely.
Attending Christmas dinner is not going to Midnight Mass.
Sometimes it is just common sense.

 

[amirah80]

Salaam,


This is one of those posts that tests us. When people extend themselves and invite me for dinner, I attend. I am gracious. When someone buys me a gift I accept. The gift is just a token of love.
Families are our life support. If they have a celebration we can be guests. We are not to isolate ourselves from others. We are not closed communities that build fences around ourselves.
Who knows if during the dinner conversation an opportunity appears wherein we can discuss the sense of Islam we may assist someone in making a life changing decision.
Christmas dinners are not religious gatherings. People come together and open gifts and eat. People inivite those who are alone so they are not lonely.
Attending Christmas dinner is not going to Midnight Mass.
Sometimes it is just common sense.

Salam Alaikum

No, this is not right. It is definety common sense for sure. You as a muslim cannot attend celebrations that go against Islam and what we as muslims believe. Christmas dinners and exchanging gifts is definetly a innovation (bid'ah) that was created specifically for Jesus's birthday. Yes gifts are a token of love that is why it does not have to be restricted to Christmas. Families are your support but when they tell you to do something against Islam you do not partake in it. You do not have to eat Christmas dinner with them to give dawah to Islam. Actually, when you tell them you cannot attend there is your opportunity for dawah. This is not the same as a birth of a child celebrations or a wedding, etc... This is considered a Eid for the Kuffaar and in Islam we only have two Eids. Eid al-Fitr and Eid Al-Adha period. Plus fatwas have been provided.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,


It is strange that we are allowed to attend a church for a wedding and a funerals and Christenings but not go to dinner. Just to play the devil's advocate..why not say no at these occasions. And would that not be the height of bad manners to say to a person who is grieving my religion prevents me from attending the funeral of your beloved.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

As we become stronger in our faith, we distance ourselves from those who disbelieve. We become strangers. I must say that for converts, it's more difficult because they were accustomed to that belief because that's how their parents raised them.

To me things happen gradually. The more I'v grown in my faith, the more I see myself being distanced inevitably from those whom I thought cared about me. I've lost many friends but gained something better. We lost many things that we once thought we had in common. It's like two paths that diverged in the woods and I took the one that was less chosen....

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

Mirajmom

Salaam,


It is strange that we are allowed to attend a church for a wedding and a funerals and Christenings but not go to dinner. Just to play the devil's advocate..why not say no at these occasions. And would that not be the height of bad manners to say to a person who is grieving my religion prevents me from attending the funeral of your beloved

I will not play the devils advocate with you sister for the sake of Allah. If you choose to thats your business. But, for the sake of this sister she asked about Chirstmas and she received the information from Scholars. If you have daleel that you think she should adhere to feel free to post it.

Wasalam Amirah80