Remember Face


New Revert 2010
As Salamu 'ALaykum,

I had an Armenian friend in California who was from Lebanon originally. I once got tears in my eyes because I realized that he was trying to betray our friendship and I had to battle against instinct to act "Christian." He said, "Remember FACE brother." From a man living with his sister because of three failed business and being homeless.

In my own defense, I am a tough guy. I was a Sergeant in Vietnam. I serve 4 years in the military. I started Martial Arts under a World Class Instructor at the age of 13 and have practiced martial arts, often with Masters, my whole life achieving instructor status in two martial arts and brown belts in others. My son was a multiple tournament champion. I can fly a plane, skydiving was one of my hobbies, I drove coast to coast Tractor Trainer and as a master trainer of guard dogs have subdued many very large dogs (over two hundred attacks and only 8 bites). Even though I was a minister, when I wasn't a minister, I have been in numerous fights often greatly outnumbered and lost only three muggings ( one against multiple attackers, one against three attackers, and one against a man with a very large gun. I have acted courageously on more occasions than I can count. I rescued my wife from a burning van moments before it exploded. I have saved people, animals, etc. I am not bragging. This is relevant.

My Lebanese friend would often say to me when I was emotionally hurt by betrayal of friends, and tears would run down my face, "Brother, remember Face."

I have been shot. I have been in war. I had my head slit open with large belt buckles and have face individuals with guns and knives and disarmed them. I have had sever serious injuries and never showed pain.

But, when I am betrayed by friends or challenged by friends or family members it is common for me to become teary eyed. I usually attributed this to when I was a child of about 4 and my father would holler at me at the top of his lungs while standing over me not allowing me any personal space. My father was a good man, but if he drank, he would be a bully to me. Let's face it, children don't come with instruction manuals.

Once, when I wasn't living a religious life, I was challenged by the "bouncer's" martial arts instructed. I was trying to joke my way out when he said that I didn't have a choice. I scarred his face severely for life (he attended my son's tournament 12 years later and still had horrific scars over his face.) and injured several of his bones and joints as well as giving him a concussion.

Here, finally, is my question Is it a loss of face to show emotional pain caused by betrayal, frustration, and hopelessness? I can deal with physical pain. But, as long as one acts honorably is tears in the eyes of loss of face.

I am not proud of the fights and battles, but they are as much a part of my past as my ordination, university education, and kindnesses and charity.


Junior Member
Wa alaykum salam,

I do not think it is a loss of face to show emotional pain. It is normal for people to feel hurt when things in life go bad. However, when this happens, it matters less about how strong of a physical person you are and more about your faith in Allah. When you have strong belief in Allah, feelings of hopelessness and frustration are eased. This is because you have trust in Allah and know that if you act in the way that He wants you to act then you have nothing to worry about.

Bukhari Volume:7 Book :70 (Patients)Number :544
Narrated Aisha:

(the wife of the Prophet) Allah's Apostle said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn."

Even the bad things that happen to us are good for us, alhamdulilah.



New Revert 2010
As Salamu 'Alaykum,

My reason for asking is that I had clicked on a playlist at Youtube and this video became to play. It has a piano keeping a beat, but I couldn't turn it off. My wife noticed that I had tears running down my cheek. She asked what was the matter. I told her it was one of the saddest songs I had ever hear.

I remembered when my mother burnt to death, my father looked like he was going to cry. I offered to hug him and he shoved me back. To him, crying was definitely, unmanly.

If you don't wish to hear notes from a piano, don't play this:


Living Soul

Junior Member

Very touching song...I can say one thing that "wounds received through emotional hurt take time to be healed than the physical wounds". You have been engaged in physical fighting while I have been engaged in emotional fighting. And many times I let the battle lose intentionally because I knew the pain of being emotionally hurt and I did not want to give it to others.


Abu Talib

Feeling low

Bro your a really strong man. I wouldn't even bother to come near you after hearing all Well I got to say your war hasn't over I mean those thoughts and all would be whispers from shaitaan he comes from everywhere from the good side and also from the bad side. You never lost so you still have to win this also. Never let your heart down you can always ask to Allaah for forgiveness and he could forgive you after all he says he would forgive our sins even if they were to touch the sky.