response to wiganguys questions

[hana*]

i was reading youre questions on a previous post with reguards to talking to the opposite sex in islam and the post was closed so i could not reply. i think, generally speaking, the typical uk national thinks that muslim women are oppressed and are anti-social. firstly, in islam a women is allowed to talk to a man, however, this depends on the speech. if the speech is for flirting then obviously this is not allowed. however, if this speech is beneficial or required then it is allowed. my work requires me to speak to males constantly, as i am a pharmacist. my speech is in no way flirting or in private segregation, and thus it is permissable. it always puts a smile on my face when i see the staff impressed to see a hijabi muslim just as human as they are. i always have good responses from the people i work with (as i locum i meet so many people) and alhamdulilah i manage to clear many misconceptions as they ask me so much on islam.

in islam, when muslims want to get married, then the male is allowed to speak to the female as much as they want and untill they are satisfied with each others responses and are satisfied with character, appearance etc, as this is for marriage purposes. as long as the two unmarried couple are not alone and there is an agreement with the parents then this is halal.

other unneccessary intermixing is not allowed in islam e.g partying as islam preserves the family and all adultery starts off with a smile..

hope this has answered youre question

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Brother Gareth, you have been assuring us about your interest in Islam. You speak positive things about Islam.

Now the million dollar question, what's stop you now from reverting to Islam?

 

[rightpath_357]

SALAM- hey bro- yeah u up there- :lol:-is that REALLY a nice question to ask- not meaning to offend you, I hope none of u r offended.

 

[rightpath_357]

Oh- and yes- you DO say a lot of really nice things about Islam- Thats good- but, DON'T feel that anyone is pressuring you. I'm sorry if my speech right now looks weird or wrong- I'm on chat right now with friends- but I wanted to help out on this website at the same time :lol:- nothing is calm for me right now.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Is not pressure, just wanted to know anything that delaying him. Perhaps we can help if there is any.

 

[rightpath_357]

Oh- okay. Sorry if I offended you.

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum
I agree with your post sister .
And for Wigan I recommend to come back to a thread and read the last reply in this debate about Muslim women talking to men http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63091
I hope it will make things clear for you ...

waaleikum salam

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters

AlhamduliAllah this aaam thing about the flirting or mixing with the opposite gender has been brought up lately. It just reminds me of who we're as Muslims..."we forbid evil and encourage good" walialaihul hamd.
as far the explaination goes I think sister Hanah did a great job in that. May Allah reward you and have mercy on her in this world and the hereafter. ameen
I am super happy to see your "open minded" replies about Islam. No pressuring (sister rightpath_357) but I think and believe that you're already a Muslim by heart..........may Allah keep you guided. Take your time in studying Islam as much as you can....know that the most important part to learn about Islam is TAWHEED (the oneness of Allah). Ones you know and you got that down, all will follow. InshaAllah, you benefit from TTI
again glad to have you here with us,
peace

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Oh- okay. Sorry if I offended you.

Err!!...no I'm not offended at all. Be assured sister.

 

[rightpath_357]

lolz- really!jk

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

what is stopping me?

well first of all my whole family doesnt seem to like Islam and they act like its a bad religion because of this horrible war in Afghanistan & Iraq.

This is expected. Before I reverted to Islam, my family was in the same boat like yours. I did received death threat when I made the announcement. But many years passed now, we are together again except some of them refused to speak to me until now. They respect my faith and I respect whatever they want to practice. Brother, you should give assurance to your family that nothing can separate you from your family after you reverted.

my dad hates seeing the girls covered up - ( which i think is respectful that they are covered up, nobody likes to see girls like a sex object )

With respect, show to your father that Paul asked women to cover their head (see 1 Cor 11:4 and 11:5). Also why the Nun covering their head? Why Mary's (peace be upon her) picture with head covered? By right we should hate ppl who do not obey they religion.

my family are christian and their friend is Catholic and they don't like Islam, they always believe that Islam is a forced religon - ( i don't think it is )

"Forced religion" in what term? Forced to fast in the month of Ramadan? Forced to pray 5 times a day? Forced to wear hijab etc..?

There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower. (Holy Qur'an, 2:256)

Meaning there is no compulsion for anyone to enter the religion. But once you are in the religion then you have to obey what have been prescribed to you. Only then you are called believers.

Take Bible for an example, below verse:

"34: Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35: And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church" (I Cor. 14).

Why women are forced not to speak in the church? Can I say this is "forced religion".

i wouldnt be able to practise because they would find out and go mad at me and think im stupid etc...

they know i have left the church and they know i dont like alcohol but still try to offer me a drink .

i dislike pork stuff which i think is nasty.

Brother, I was in exact situation. My mom will not cook pork when I'm at home and my relatives all know I will not eat if there is pork. They suspected about my interest in Islam so they did their best to stop me. But I believe in Allah,

Allah has sent down the best statement, a Book (this Quran), its parts resembling each other in goodness and truth, oft-repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allah. That is the guidance of Allah. He Guides therewith whom He pleases and whomever Allah sends astray, for him there is no guide. (Holy Qur'an, 39:23)

When He guided me into Islam, no creature was able to stop me. They managed to put fear over my soul, in fact they could have possible killed me yet they would still failed to stop me from becoming a Muslim.

and also why im delaying at the moment is that im still reading alot and watching videos and ive been out alot lately with my friend and ive had plans, he is not muslim either.

but i still find the time to carry on my interest in Islam, i often log on my BlackBerry..


ive had to do all this in secret.

I understand your situation now brother. We will pray for you inshAllah. May Allah make things easy for you inshAllah. Just to remind you, when you are at the crossroad, between Allah and family you must remember that at end of the day Allah is the One will determine your destiny.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

what is stopping me?

well first of all my whole family doesnt seem to like Islam and they act like its a bad religion because of this horrible war in Afghanistan & Iraq.

my dad hates seeing the girls covered up - ( which i think is respectful that they are covered up, nobody likes to see girls like a sex object )

my family are christian and their friend is Catholic and they don't like Islam, they always believe that Islam is a forced religon - ( i don't think it is )

i wouldnt be able to practise because they would find out and go mad at me and think im stupid etc...

they know i have left the church and they know i dont like alcohol but still try to offer me a drink .

i dislike pork stuff which i think is nasty.

and also why im delaying at the moment is that im still reading alot and watching videos and ive been out alot lately with my friend and ive had plans, he is not muslim either.

but i still find the time to carry on my interest in Islam, i often log on my BlackBerry..


ive had to do all this in secret.

whoa brother.secretly plannig to join a new family huh?that's awesome.really, good to know.keep it up.:tongue:

 

[hana*]

i think deep inside you are a muslim already as u believe in the core elements of islam. i know that youre family thinks thant covering for women is opressive, but ask them this: in this day and age, living in the uk, do you think there is such a thing as force in religion? ofcourse not, as any girl who would be forced would take off the head covering the minute she left the house! yet you see so many in the 'free' western world wearing it. in addition, many of them are converts/reverts to islam. what would make an american woman leave behind her way of life to enter islam? there must be something in it that is far better that what the western society can offer. everything in islam is for a reason: if you were given a million-pound equivalent diamond, ask yourself, what would you do with it? would you leave it on display for everyone to look at, touch and ruin? or would you wrap it up, put it in a safe then surrond it with laser beams? likewise, a woman is precious, she is not for any man to be looked at, touched by etc she is special, like the diamond. also if we asked a rapist, why did he rape, he would more ofter that not reply: the woman provoked me by either her actions or clothing, if not both. islam protects us from this. if every woman dressed modestly and lowered her gave and if every man also dressed modestly, lowered his gaze then i wonder how many cases of adultery, rape etc would there be?

as for being scared of what youre family might think, i recommend you a copy of the Quran, that will be youre 'ammunition' for any attacks they may throw at you. you have a right to find out the truth, they will see no change in the real you as you do most of whats in islam anyway eg no alcohol, pork etc.

on the question of afghanistan, let youre dad know that yvonne ridley, a journalist from uk went under cover in afghanistan wearing the burkha, she was caught by the taliban and later freed on the basis that she would read a copy of the Quran. she could not find anywhere in the Quran any mistreatment of women, and following her experience, became muslim.

finally, I want to speak on behalf of all muslim women, our rights are FAR GREATER than any other women in the world. we had the following rights far before any british woman or american woman did and are as follows:

the right to inherit
the right to marry and divorce
any money a woman makes is hers and in no way is she obliged to spend it on the family (i love telling my work-mates this, and see their jaw drop)
the right to work or not to work
a non-married woman in islam should have a regular income from her male family members eg brother or father, EVEN if she works
the right to vote

these are just some rights that we had 1400+ years ago and not when margaret thatcher came about hehe

so are we really opressed or forced? All thanks to God for Islam 1 million times over that we are so lucky to have all these freedoms and not like the western woman, who works her head off, then comes home to cook and clean and then pay all her money on the mortgage!

 

[Asiya-sparkles]

salam aleikum
I agree with your post sister .
And for Wigan I recommend to come back to a thread and read the last reply in this debate about Muslim women talking to men http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63091
I hope it will make things clear for you ...

waaleikum salam

Assalamu alaikom wa rahmat Allahi wa burrahktohu,

I would just like to add that in regard to my sister Revert2007, that I absolutely commend her beautiful intentions and our debate should be considered really in the light of the passion and sincere regard for Godfearingness, and not as a discussion that was based upon personal feelings. I have high regard for our sister and she assures me that she feels the same way. InshaAllah, debate in Islam has always existed and we have a beautiful tradition where we do and are able to clarify through discussion that is beneficial.

We continued our discussion privately and with genuine warmth, respect and and a clear understanding of both coming from the very same desire to seek best for each other and all who participated. So please, read the debate with the understanding that there is not a difference of intention at all and that we are very much united and caring of the feelings and successes of each other and our fellow members also.

okay....

Salams!

And as for the many posts in this thread, ma'shaAllah very nice.

It is also absolutely true that no two people are ever at the same point of a journey (in regard to you Gareth) and I know of reverts who do practice but keep their Islam hidden till they have become accustomed to their own faith, we always treat our family members with utmost respect and love and do so in the case of whether they are muslim or not, we only do not honour their requests when they bid us to what is forbidden inshaAllah.

Also, when any person becomes a muslim, in truth they are testifying to the truth that Islam is the religion of Allah and that Muhammad(saw) is His messenger. Allah says in this case that belief has not yet entered the heart. This means that until you start to acquire knowledge and practice upon what you learn, you are excused many things, so Allah guide you brother and keep you safe, content and secure in the deen. Amin

 

[hana*]

yeah i feel sorry for the western woman more than anything. i think back in the days when women fought so hard for their rights here in the uk, it backlashed on them. they are doing similar tasks to men but then bare the added burnden of doing the house-work, cooking, waking up in the middle of the night to attend to a crying child etc etc
i think that the average girl/woman has landed up in such a mess as there is no family structure, there is nobody at home to take care of the children, very few parents relate or have time for their children. for this reason, the average girl does not feel loved, and in a desperate attempt to feel worthy, she sleeps around, has a child and releases that love that she never had herself. so many women have said to me ' i wish i was brought up in your faith and had the rights you do'. i also believe that the media, magazines and films have a very big role in the pressure put on women to look beautiful and her intellect and character is thrown out the window. i wish that someday, women will regain that respect that they deserve.