q8penpals
Junior Member
Salam
No one mentioned anything about the practicalities - despite the hurt feelings, HOW does this man intend to be equal to two wives, when one lives in another country? Is he rich, that he can afford to fly back and forth frequently (as well as take time off of work?). Does he already OWN a home for wife #1 (my feeling is that if he is renting, he really can't afford a home, so how can he afford 2?)? Does he have enough money to pay for groceries, clothing, home-supplies, CHILDREN from more than one wife? If he has children with both wives, and they are in different countries, how does he intend to be A FATHER if he is not near his children ALL THE TIME!? How will he keep both wives satisfied sexually if he is traveling between countries?
Another thing...
If 1st wife and hubby live in a country that does not allow multiple wives, he won't be able to secure a visa for 2nd wife to come (as he is not family) unless she has some sort of job; well unless he lies on application. Or she lies about getting a job - which, in this time of high unemployment, unless she is highly educated in a needed field, is pretty unlikely that she could get a job as a foreigner anyway.
So, if we disregard the issue of whether his talking to the girl is right or wrong, or even if his reasons for wanting to marry her are right or wrong, does this dude even have a PLAN for how he would handle all of this??
Seriously, to me, it sounds like (and I hate for it to sound like this), that he is wishing for what he didn't get the first time - and I would like to tell him, guy - the grass isn't always greener! Many times (in the dating world), people will get married and life moves on, but they always think that life would have been better had they married their "first true love" rather than the one they got - it is easy to think something would be better if you have not experienced it.
This guy needs to disconnect from the other chick and BE A MAN and HUSBAND to the woman that HE CHOSE; he did not marry the other woman - she is NOT his responsibility; she is the responsibility of her father and brothers and mother to find her a suitable husband. If she were a truly Islamic woman, she would FIRST try to find a husband that she could have all to herself, not another woman's husband.
Sorry, this is the first I chimed in on this topic, but I just wanna grab the husband and shake him for being selfish and only thinking of what HE wants!
No one mentioned anything about the practicalities - despite the hurt feelings, HOW does this man intend to be equal to two wives, when one lives in another country? Is he rich, that he can afford to fly back and forth frequently (as well as take time off of work?). Does he already OWN a home for wife #1 (my feeling is that if he is renting, he really can't afford a home, so how can he afford 2?)? Does he have enough money to pay for groceries, clothing, home-supplies, CHILDREN from more than one wife? If he has children with both wives, and they are in different countries, how does he intend to be A FATHER if he is not near his children ALL THE TIME!? How will he keep both wives satisfied sexually if he is traveling between countries?
Another thing...
If 1st wife and hubby live in a country that does not allow multiple wives, he won't be able to secure a visa for 2nd wife to come (as he is not family) unless she has some sort of job; well unless he lies on application. Or she lies about getting a job - which, in this time of high unemployment, unless she is highly educated in a needed field, is pretty unlikely that she could get a job as a foreigner anyway.
So, if we disregard the issue of whether his talking to the girl is right or wrong, or even if his reasons for wanting to marry her are right or wrong, does this dude even have a PLAN for how he would handle all of this??
Seriously, to me, it sounds like (and I hate for it to sound like this), that he is wishing for what he didn't get the first time - and I would like to tell him, guy - the grass isn't always greener! Many times (in the dating world), people will get married and life moves on, but they always think that life would have been better had they married their "first true love" rather than the one they got - it is easy to think something would be better if you have not experienced it.
This guy needs to disconnect from the other chick and BE A MAN and HUSBAND to the woman that HE CHOSE; he did not marry the other woman - she is NOT his responsibility; she is the responsibility of her father and brothers and mother to find her a suitable husband. If she were a truly Islamic woman, she would FIRST try to find a husband that she could have all to herself, not another woman's husband.
Sorry, this is the first I chimed in on this topic, but I just wanna grab the husband and shake him for being selfish and only thinking of what HE wants!