Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullah
You know... I had to think about what you posted a long time. And I still didnt get it,but I think can relate to some degree.
I mean at one point, i went to regular school and I fit in pretty well, I was never bullied or anything - rather I was the perfectionist and if I got stuck in a group project, more likely than not I was the one ordering people around. However I found that later when I was pulled out of it all in homeschooling, and was able to look into Islaam more, that the distance between me and them continued to grow to the point that if I were to ever see them in stores or anything I would not even be able to face them. Even now, I've only once been able to talk to a person I knew before
ridiculous really!
But if I were to give advice - mutually that is - it would be that to gain self confidence and perhaps respect along those lines, we've got to gain assurance of ourselves and the positions we hold in our lives. We have to realize that the people we are - are based on our values and morals and namely in our case our religion. If we are firm on what we believe in and completely trust in our actions then i think to a degree all else will fall into place.
We cannot let people walk over us, yet at the same time we cannot go around picking fights either. Plenty of useless disagreements could have been avoided if one party had just been willing to back away. Therefore, I dont think it's always good to have our claws out so that if a person touches us we scratch them up and disfigure them for life or something
(joke) but at the same time if it is matters concerning us, our religion and what we do we've got to have that confidence to not back down on that regard, or seem apologetic, or oppressed or something like that which would feed certain misconceptions. We've got to be proud of who we are and what we do, but at the same time not retaliate all the time.
And you know I think it stems from knowledge, and practice as has been said. Learning from the experiences we come across and placing them in a positive light rather then negative, finding our flaws we had before and utilizing opportunities we have to try to mend them, discovering a firm base of what we stand for so that if we are faced with things or people who wish to compromise those values that we wont waver... perhaps that's what it all includes. Maybe it's just me ranting though, who knows eh?
I think what helps me most is knowing that we are simply strangers and travelers on this life in the Dunya - it is not our final abode, our true home was in Jannah and we hope to return there inshaAllah. So if along this journey we trip over our shoe laces and fall in a hole, we've got to find a way to climb out - tie our shoes properly and keep walking. All the people we meet, things we go through are just stoppages, temporary things we pass on this journey, and the only thing which matters here is what we do to get to the proper destination.
If we strive to please creation - we should know that we will never be able to truly satisfy them and keep our Deen intact and whatever they give us will only be temporary - but if we strive to please the Creator, then what He gives is eternal and everlasting.
Just what I thought....
wasalam
your sis
