SINNING OF RUDENESS

[hayat84]

:salam2:
Brothers and sister,during my absence I spent my time reading the Quran and,I discovered how easy was it for me to memorize each verse using a simple technic.I write each verse with my hand and I repeat it until I remember it very well.Now I reached a good point of Surat Al Baqara and I am memorizing more verses even without reading them:ma:.
I'm proud of it.Allah gave me a good memory,but unfortunatelly I am also sinning of rudeness:I'm not patient and it happened that I was at the phone with the call center:I treated her unrightly because I supposed she was moking me when I waited many minutes at the phone...
I felt sad,because I have a good potential but I have a rude character with the others,it's a sort of defense of myself.
I really hope to be a better person with my heart,but,in confidence,I'm feeling strange,in the sense that I get angry as fast as I start crying.
There is no black hole in my life,but my unpatience.I accept any advice from you,even critics are welcome,so that I emprove myself for the sake of Allah

 

[ahmed_indian]

to control one's anger will take time and patience. alhamdulillah, you are trying to become better, make dua to Allah also to give you self-control. maybe you are more emotional as you said that you cry too quickly.

some tips to control anger:
1. make dua to Allah to remove anger from ur heart
2. remember it pleases shaitan
3. we too are not perfect
4. we may do something in anger which will make us sad afterwards.
5. think what if Allah also gets angry so quickly with us for our sins.

may Allah help you sister.

 

[JenGiove]

:salam2:

I really hope to be a better person with my heart,but,in confidence,I'm feeling strange,in the sense that I get angry as fast as I start crying.
There is no black hole in my life,but my unpatience.I accept any advice from you,even critics are welcome,so that I emprove myself for the sake of Allah

May I add something...

I am the mother of a 2 year old who, as naturally as Creator made him, is still learning and the slowness of the natural pace can make me impatient. While in prayer, I realized that Creator is our parent and we are his toddlers. How infinite his patience is with us, not as individuals but with us as a whole world. How many kids is that??

Have patience with yourself as well. Learning takes time.

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
thAnk you very much for your support,maybe being mother of 3 child is not so easy as I hoped.but in a certain sense I like this kind of life,I feel realized,Allah gave everything,it's who I can't be thakful enough.:shymuslima1:

 

[JenGiove]

Dear Woman,

Being a mother is a wonderful gift, difficult, but wonderful and rewarding. When my son wakes up laughing from a night's rest and tells me about kicking the ball or his new toys or that the dog did yuck in his room, I marvel at the complex nature of the human body and growth process.

I'm also the mother of a child who died before she could be born. The joy that my son gives me makes me realize just how "holy-like" being a mother is. I think it was Muhammad <pbuh> that said, when asked, to keep company and honor your mother THEN your father.... even The Prophet recognized how special mothers are....and only women have the strength to be mothers.

You can do it. Allah knows it. Muhammad knew it. You are the only one who needs to learn it.

A hug to you from the USA...one mother to another.

 

[hayat84]

@sister JenGiove,thank you very much,I liked your sincerity,I have 3 beautiful gifts,and I'm sure as the existence of Allah,that I would nevere exchange them with any other thing.I regret of the death of your little child.me,I had a sister of blood that I didn't know well because she died when I was 2 years old.but life goes on and maybe they will meet in Jannah and will grant us a place close to them,innocent angels.
My status of "panic" was due maybe to the fact that I see everyday my life slipping away.it's like each day pulls over the other one.and I can stop for a moment.Ramadan is near to finish,do you remember when we were waiting for this blessed month?and now how fastly is it running away?!I can't be perfect as I imagine,my italin's daylife goes too fast,while in morocco I can feel very calm,the time seems to go slower and I can do everything,do you understand why I feel so nervous?I wish to do the best for everybody,but I haven't the middles.maybe it's also the stress,but in my heart I feel that I am here for another reason more.and sometimes I forget that we are on the Earth and so I pretend to see everything perfect while nothing is perfect.
Allah gave me compassion but maybe He didn't give me the patience to face the life

 

[JenGiove]

Hayat,

First, let me make clear to you that I am not a Sister, as you know it. I am not a Muslim but came here because of...well...complicated reasons. Surah 3:199 would probably best describe me, tho I am not a Christian, as you would know it, either. I am Native American but was raised amongst the world's religions. Its important to me to make sure that I do not accidentally misrepresent myself, especially here.

I wish I could say that I was able to complete Ramadan but it seems that my health forbids it. I have a Cavernoma (an abnormal development of the capillaries) in my left temporal tip of my brain. At day 12, I developed migraines so sever that I was bedridden for 2 days and had a constant headache for a week. When the cavernoma leaks blood, it causes seizures and the accumulated blood causes brain damage. The fast, even though I ate and drank well after fast hours, caused too much hardship on my body and caused the migraines and seizure. I had 12 blessed days of fast and learned a great deal about myself and my connection to Creator, alhamdullila. I learned how much shame I do carry and I learned how to recognize it within myself. I learned how weak I was in some things and strong in others. Things learned that I can try to change in myself and become a better person. I did not do everything that is required of Ramadan, but I learned what I learned because I tried what was not too frighting for me. I now have a closer relationship with The Creator, and that is a huge difference.

No one is perfect. We're not supposed to be. It is my personal belief that Creator can not experience imperfection but CAN experience it through us. He can not understand struggle, except through us. He can not experience pain, except through us. By experiencing life and allowing it to flow through and around us, we are helping Creator to understand.

I agree, life goes by sooo quickly. I've discovered, for me at least, the the benifit of stopping at various times in your day to pray helps to regather ourselves and to provide a moment to breath in the peace that Creator wants to give us. Have you noticed that the prayers are closer together as the day goes on? As we tire? I DO NOT think that is a coincidence. A prayer at first light to appreciate the life that Creator allows us. A prayer after midday meal to allow the body to focus on nourishment. The Mexicans call it siesta. A prayer at the end of the work day to relax and release the stress of the day so as to not take anger out on our families. A prayer at Dusk, to appreciate our dinners, making it through the stresses of the day and to watch the beauty of the skies (I pray outside on my porch). and one more before bed, to thank the Creator for our lives once again. This is what *I* learned.

I would say to you that the best way to do your best is to live truthfully. Do not hide harsh feeling from yourself, for that too is lying, and know when it is appropriate to express those feelings and how. If you make an error, apologize and try again. Try try try...that's all of us can EVER do.

We are Creator's toddlers....we fall down. We get boo-boos...we learn and we get up and try again. Creator will never stop loving us, his children.

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
I'm sorry,JenGiove,I didn't read your profile,I how could I know if you were a muslim sister?I sincerely considered you a sister by the way you gave me your advice.I studied something about the Native Americans,I know there are the Sioux,Showshoni,Apache... and they have long long hair!is it true??If I made a mistake,please forgive me,maybe I've sinned again of rudeness towards you and I didn't care...
but I deeply love Allah and He knows my intentions better that anybody else.but you,if you are not a sister,how can i call you?me,I don't care if you're muslim or not,but if you give a look more at the Quran,you'll see that we all come to the world as muslims(because we are submitted to Allah's Will,indeed the term "muslim" means "submitted"),then we can choose our direction.everything happens thank to Allah,we can't give an answer to each questions and if you admit that it exists an Only God and that Muhammed(PBUH)is His Prophet,you'll take awareness that you are muslim,because you admit that there is Someone Who sees and knows everything and if you dedicate your prayers to Him,you'll be rewarded in the Other life for your deeds.why you said me that you are not a sister,if you know what Ramadan is and you know what Islam is?
Please,don't be offended,I apologize if I made some mistakes:this is my speciality!

p.s.:me,I was hinduist and now I'm muslimah since the 2006.As you can see,everything is possible,by Allah's Hand

 

[JenGiove]

:salam2:
I'm sorry,JenGiove,I didn't read your profile,I how could I know if you were a muslim sister?I sincerely considered you a sister by the way you gave me your advice.

Salam Hayat,
Do not apologize to me, for you have done no wrong that needs forgiving. Since this is a site that only Muslims or people who are thinking of becoming Muslim would join, it is natural to assume that the person you are speaking to is a Muslim (by choice). I wanted to make clear to you that I was not.

I studied something about the Native Americans,I know there are the Sioux,Showshoni,Apache... and they have long long hair!is it true??If I made a mistake,please forgive me,maybe I've sinned again of rudeness towards you and I didn't care...

I used to have long hair but my father and brother recently died so I cut it. Alot of tribes feel that our life experiences are stored in our hair, which is why alot of Native do not cut their hair. When Someone we are close to dies, we cut the hair. Our lives are dramatically changed when that person dies and we have lost an important part of our life that we will never get back....

My husband's family is from the Mohawk Nation...an Eastern Woodland tribe which is part of the Iroquois Confederacy. Truth be told, it was this Confederacy's constitution that George Washington used as a model for the United States Constitution....tho, with quite a few changes.

but I deeply love Allah and He knows my intentions better that anybody else.but you,if you are not a sister,how can i call you?

Sister Revert calls me a sister, tho we have developed a friendship. You may call me whatever you wish...sister, Ms. Jennifer, Jennifer....hey you... It matters not to me, just that the truth is known. Here is the post I did from the thread "Introduce Yourself"...it'll explain alot about my religious history and my experience with the terms "sister" and "brother".
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=70703

me,I don't care if you're muslim or not,but if you give a look more at the Quran,you'll see that we all come to the world as muslims(because we are submitted to Allah's Will,indeed the term "muslim" means "submitted"),then we can choose our direction.everything happens thank to Allah

Hehe...every so often I remind Revert that in the beginning we were are all born Muslim...hehe. I am slowly reading the Qur'an, not to investigate if I want to convert tho. Simply because I know nothing about it. You could say it is a matter of curiosity.

we can't give an answer to each questions and if you admit that it exists an Only God and that Muhammed(PBUH)is His Prophet,you'll take awareness that you are muslim,because you admit that there is Someone Who sees and knows everything and if you dedicate your prayers to Him,you'll be rewarded in the Other life for your deeds.

Yes, I believe in monotheism. I have yet to form an opinion about Muhammed (pbuh) but I REFUUUUUUUSE to discount someone else's belief as inaccurate or wrong. To me, THAT is a sin.

why you said me that you are not a sister,if you know what Ramadan is and you know what Islam is?
Please,don't be offended,I apologize if I made some mistakes:this is my speciality!

Do not make the error, which is not a sin, of mistaking education for belief. I fasted and prayed but other than that, that is where my Ramadan ended. Tho, I broke fast with my friends a few times and ate dates and drank water first before eating a regular meal. But I did not perform prayer as a Muslim would but as a Christian would and as a Native American would. I also did not perform Tarweeh nor any number of other practices that are required of a Muslim during Ramadan. It is quite complicated but alhumdulilah, my s-i-s (sister in spirit) Revert in now in my life and this is a great thing!

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:I hope with the help of Allah,you'll find your way.maybe on tti you'll find many links about islam and in sh Allah you'll know more about it.
When it was told me that I should prostrate to the hindus staues,I had the sensation that they were moking at me,because since my childhood I didn't believe that staues could talk and help me.as I sudied at school,native americans use the Totems as their symbols of belonging to a certain tribe,and I know that they have a big respect of the nature,unforunatelly because of settlements from americans and those who are called the "whites",native americans are just little reserves...
your father and brother died,I regret,but did you ask to yourself where are they now?
sister,I'm sincere and really wish that you give a look to our religion.just for curiousity:ma:

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

:salam2: Hayat,

first of all, mabrook for your little one masha'Allah tabarakaAllah!

Issue of patience? During Ramadhaan? Welcome to the family just joking! I suppose it's a test for us, especially for us wives and mothers. And during Ramadhaan, fasting and looking after our little ones makes things not very easy to deal with but alhamdulillah! The high status of a mother is not for 'free' (as I always say ). Trust Allah, make du'a and ask for more patience. Sometimes we ask so many things but we forget about those things that can make us better muslims insha'Allah. Then, sometimes, I think about the Sahabiyat, Um Sulaym and the example of those great women :ma:


"For Muslim men and women― for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves) for men and women who guard their chastity and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise― for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward." [Qur'an 33:35]

 

[JenGiove]

As I studied at school,native americans use the Totems as their symbols of belonging to a certain tribe, and I know that they have a big respect of the nature, unfortunately because of settlements from americans and those who are called the "whites",native americans are just little reserves...

Hayat,
The unfortunate thing is that the same error happens in this world no matter if it is a misconception about Muslims or Native Americans or the life and thoughts of cats.. . Not enough is known about the other unless people actively seek out the deeper information. Yes, I have found alot of information here on TTI about Islam but my greatest resource has been talking with people who keep an open mind, that I believe what I believe but I also respect that they have a belief as well. I have developed a sisterhood with Sister Revert2007 because of this. We come together as women first thus allowing me to feel unhurried to ask questions. That is when learning and love happens. To explain Totems and Spirit Guides and Helper Spirits would take ages and is difficult considering the language barriers between us and the complexity of the subject. Do Native American worship these animals as Gods? NO! They are not Gods but they are considered messengers. A way for Creator to relay information to us. It is up to us to slow down, watch things around us and listen with a quiet heart. We say that when we "walk in balance", we can communicate better with Creator and the answers to our troubles will be shown to us.

your father and brother died,I regret,but did you ask to yourself where are they now?

Sister Hayat, the circumstances of their deaths are more tragic then I care to share publicly, but I thank you for your sympathy. The discovery of their deaths happened a month prior to my moving out of state for the first time in my life and several other things occurred around the same time so it has been extremely painful for me. Now, with my marriage failing and my health turning dangerous, I can at least say that I have returned to prayer. For a few months, I could not pray because of my anger and feelings that Creator had deserted me. People would quote and remind me of the following poem, but it did nothing to resolve the pain within me. It was only when, in my fear and anguish for the safety of a dear friend was I able to return to prayer. Pain and selfishness caused me to leave, love brought me back. Alhamdulilah..

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

sister,I'm sincere and really wish that you give a look to our religion.just for curiosity

Learning is never a bad thing.....
btw, check this out when thinking about how to deal with toddlers or naughty children..
http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler..._YourDailyNewsletterfromWhattoExpect_20100908

 

[The_truth]

:salam2:
Brothers and sister,during my absence I spent my time reading the Quran and,I discovered how easy was it for me to memorize each verse using a simple technic.I write each verse with my hand and I repeat it until I remember it very well.Now I reached a good point of Surat Al Baqara and I am memorizing more verses even without reading them:ma:.
I'm proud of it.Allah gave me a good memory,but unfortunatelly I am also sinning of rudeness:I'm not patient and it happened that I was at the phone with the call center:I treated her unrightly because I supposed she was moking me when I waited many minutes at the phone...
I felt sad,because I have a good potential but I have a rude character with the others,it's a sort of defense of myself.
I really hope to be a better person with my heart,but,in confidence,I'm feeling strange,in the sense that I get angry as fast as I start crying.
There is no black hole in my life,but my unpatience.I accept any advice from you,even critics are welcome,so that I emprove myself for the sake of Allah

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister we must realise that it is our tongue which will be the main reason why so many Muslims will end up in Jahannam.

Fasting is not just refraining from eating and drinking, but it is also refraining from everything else that Allah has forbidden.

Abu Hurairah(ra) reported that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim)said: "Fasting is not [abstaining] from eating and drinking only, but also from vain speech and foul language. If one of you is being cursed or annoyed, he should say: "I am fasting, I am fasting." [Ibn Khuzaimah, Ibn Hibban, and al-Hakim; Sahih].

Abu Hurairah(ra) also reported that the Prophet(Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim) said: "Allah does not need the fast of one who does not abandon false speech or acting according to his false speech [Bukhari and others]

He also reported the Prophet(Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim) as saying: "Whoever does not abandon falsehood in word and action, then Allah Mighty and Majestic has no need [i.e. will not accept] that he should leave his food and drink". [Bukhari]

Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim) said: "Perhaps a fasting person will get nothing from his fast save hunger, and perhaps the one who stands to pray at night will get nothing from his standing except sleeplessness." [an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and al-Hakim / Sahih al-Jami`].

In another Narration "It may be that a fasting person attains nothing but hunger and thirst from his fasting". [Ibn Majah, Darimi, Ahmad and al-Baihaqee; Sahih]

So do we want to be that unfortunate person who's fasts are of no avail because we could not control our tongue?

There is anothr hadith on not giving one their rights and abusing them:

The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim) once said: "Do you know who is the bankrupt?" and we replied: "The bankrupt among us, O Messenger of God, is he that has neither dirham nor dinar to his name, nor any property." But he (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim) said: "The bankrupt of my Umma is he that shall come forward on the Day of Arising with the Prayer, the Fast and the Zakat, but having insulted this person, and abused that person, and having consumed another's wealth, and shed another's blood, and struck yet another. Each one of these shall be given a portion of his good works, and should these be exhausted before his obligation is discharged, then he shall be assigned some of their sins, which will be heaped upon him. Then he shall be cast into Hell."' (Muslim)

So my sister know that we MUST give others their rights and we must not hurt them in anyway with our tongue for whoever we did not give rights to or hurt, backbited slandered, gossiped out etc then they will take from our deeds or give us their sins on the day of judgement.

There is solution to this:

1. Ask forgiveness from ALL the people especially our parents and family members and those we have ever hurt, backbited, slandered,used abusive words or language etc. Once we have gained their forgiveness then we ask Allah sincerely and remorsefully for forgiveness and NEVER repeat such an act.

We must guard our tongue and be VERY careful because we do not want to be that unfortunate person in the hadith who had to give away ALL of his good deeds and eventually had to take the burden of sin from others because of his tongue and because he did not give rights to others.

Also know that good manners and behaviour is of the heaviest of deeds on the scales so we MUST show good behaviour and if we act like the way you described then how will we get closer to Allah? Allah hates such behaviour and will not get closer to ANY slave who acs in such a manner so my sister let us make intention and show the best behaviour to others for the best person is the person who is best towards others and the worst is who is worst towards others.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
sister,UmmMuhammedAl-Mahdi,your wisdom enlighted me,my littlest child is now 4 months old and he's really my joy.I like children,I would make more,if only it was possible.But I knew that demonstrating compassion with the others,requests an amount of patience.
I have something that not everybody has;one day I had been moved to the hospital for some problems and I slept in the neurology repart.In the middle of the night I heard an old woman crying and saying something,but I could understand it very well,indeed she had a brain stroke and lost her talking's capacity.I was pulled to see what that woman had,I entered the room and saw a philippine woman looking at her without helping her.(she was a sort of "baby sitter of that woman).I asked what did the old woman need,why did she cry.I came close to the sick woman and understood that she was thirsty!!!I brought a little spoon and little by little she drank the water that was in the glass.

Allahgave me such a compassion,I'm thankful for this gift...I lose the patience when I see something wrong and I must repeat it many times,but children are always children...but I ask Allah to give me more calmness.today my husband's uncle came to us and had Iftar with us.It was the first person who came and I was so happy that I discovered how the table was full of food.there was more Baraka than we were alone,al hamdu lillah!
when I knew that everything was good and tasty,I knew that my unpatience was due by the absence of attentions towards me,because I dedicate the whole day to the children and I forget the resting part.
@sis JenGiove,I am an opened minded person,I like listening and making comparaisons between the ideas.don't worry,you're free to express what you feel and I'll respect it.on the other hand I hope it will be usefull for you if I allow myself to write my idea about my religion and why it is the only one.As reverted person I made a sort of travel through the religions:I passed over buddis,christianism,I also made a dreamcatcher with my hands because I believed that it could hunt away the bad spirits.But the answer to my empyness was in the Quran.muslims have to believe to the blessed books that were sent trhough the Prophets.we also are aware that one day we'll leave this terrestrial life and be judged from Allah for our deeds.Allah didn't "desert" you.if you trust to Him,then you'll understand that our lives belong to Him.we just make our duty to worship Him and be thankful to Himtherwise it couldn't be different,by the way that both those who admit and those who don't admit that Allah makes only the right thing for us,will pay for their actions and nor family,neither money will save us from damnation,except our penitence and submission to Him,because Allah is our savior,even if at first sight you feel touched in your domain.Allah's Will goes furhter than our thoughts.
I hope in Sh Allah you raise up and understand that the only way not to suffer anymore is toward our Creator,Allah.What can do animals,if we don't understand their language.how can they be messengers from the creator?:salam2: