Sister stalked by Muslim man of power

[Sheba_770]

Salam Aleykum'

I know this beautiful nice sister who is trying to lead a straight life to the best of her ability "like everyone else" the problem is.... this highly respected man in the Muslim community, whom at one time proposed marriage to her..... she accepted but when she found out he was only divorce by religion and not the laws of the country she immidiatly rejected him and told him to come back when he was also divorce by the laws of the country. To make the storie short his excuse was it would take some time to gather up what was intitle to the soon to be ex and that they have to reside in the same household for the children sake till he gives her her share, but in the mean time he could not live without seeing this sister....of course when hearing this outragious and complicated circumstances the sister said "NO WAY" He has been stalking, followin, ringing her door bell and phone hundreds of times and trying to get her to sin continuesly and tells her if she marries someone else he will do something to stop their happyness, by the way he has been married several times. What should this poor helpless sister do....he tells her no one will believe her because he is so well liked and respected in the community...I hope he tells that to Allah one day. How can I help her? Any suggestions?

Sheba

 

[jabba]

:salam2:
This sister is not helpless!
there are so many resources out there for women who need help.
She can get a restraining order, I'm sure there would be no media attention involved in that. If she does nothing she's letting that man win, what good would that do?!

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: That is sick seems this man has no fear of Allah and no knowledge of Islam. You can't force someone to marry you. That marriage won't be valid. I feel this sister should get some advice from elders what to do with this situation.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

You have stated the sister follows the laws of the land. What he is doing is a serious crime. Should she want to warn him she can tell him she will notify the police. Should he not listen...she can get a restraining order and that would end his stupidity.
He is a married man that wants a side dish. She does not deserve this and needs to free herself from his lust.

 

[Sheba_770]

Salaam,

You have stated the sister follows the laws of the land. What he is doing is a serious crime. Should she want to warn him she can tell him she will notify the police. Should he not listen...she can get a restraining order and that would end his stupidity.
He is a married man that wants a side dish. She does not deserve this and needs to free herself from his lust.

Under Islamic laws he is divorce. The sister does not want to get the laws involved because she does not want bad publicity for the Islamic community..she knows the news can be bias and take advantage of a situation and turn it into a circus ....considering this man is well known.
Sheba

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: sister sheba said according to islamic law he is divorced. Sister if you know the 1st rule of islam. You cant be living in the same household with a non mehram women even though she is your ex wife. Such a man is capable of doing anything. How do you know he has divorced her even islamiclly? A man with no moral values is not worth marrying .

 

[Sheba_770]

:salam2: sister sheba said according to islamic law he is divorced. Sister if you know the 1st rule of islam. You cant be living in the same household with a non mehram women even though she is your ex wife. Such a man is capable of doing anything. How do you know he has divorced her even islamiclly? A man with no moral values i not worth marrying .

You are right he is divorce under Islamic laws but it is also important to abide by the laws of the country. The house he shares with the ex has been divided in two......but you are right how can anyone believe anything from someone who lacks integrity. The divorcee decree is in the courthouse and that is public information...It is not finalize.

Sheba

 

[ShyHijabi]

Under Islamic laws he is divorce. The sister does not want to get the laws involved because she does not want bad publicity for the Islamic community..she knows the news can be bias and take advantage of a situation and turn it into a circus ....considering this man is well known.
Sheba

Salaam,

Restraining orders do not make the news so no publicity there, if that were so the news would spend 4 hours a day reporting who has restraining orders on them. And like a previous poster stated he is breaking Islamic law by continuing to reside with his exwife.

Does the sister have any family around? A father or brother? I do not have the following but if this were happening to me I would call on some Muslim brothers to have a talk with guy. He is evil man by threatening her and shows his spiritual weakness. I mean, what kind of man will threaten a physically weaker person?

Tell her the media does not get involved with restraining orders and that she needs to protect herself. Wasalaam.

 

[jabba]

:salam2:
Hmmm don't mean to be rude or anything, but I have to be honest here. It seems as though sister Sheba_770 you are making excuses for this situation, maybe "your friend" actually enjoys the attention of this man stalking her, otherwise she would take the advice given and not worry about anyone but herself

 

[Sheba_770]

:salam2:
Hmmm don't mean to be rude or anything, but I have to be honest here. It seems as though sister Sheba_770 you are making excuses for this situation, maybe "your friend" actually enjoys the attention of this man stalking her, otherwise she would take the advice given and not worry about anyone but herself

You were rude and I hope Allah forgives you. I am neutral and trying to help someone in need...there is a difference between making excuses and explaining a situation. If you new the girl you would know she is not enjoying this kind of abuse you call attention....the advice just came out today,there are people in this world who know that every action has a reaction and think of others before themselves, it is call SELFLESS. I hope you never have any female member in such a situation.

Sheba

 

[hussain.mahammed]

As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu sister Sheba 770

First of all make duas for her. Ask Allah (SWT) for help. Insha Allah things will go her way. Tell her to recite Ayatul Kursi most of the time. And as brothers and sisters suggested, lodge a complaint in police dept. Also tell her to learn some martial arts. That would be great.

wa/salam

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

assalamu alaykum

First pray to Allah the almight. Does not your friend has family members who are males? Go to the cops if they don't do anything about it let her family take the matter in their own hands and they will hopeful tech the brother some brotherly love. In mean time tell her to be careful.

 

[Globalpeace]

STOP or get it STOPPED!

W-Salam Sister,

Your friend is in a vulnerable position and doesn’t deserve to be treated in such a manner.

This behaviour of the man needs to be STOPPED at once by hook or by crook.

If he is an important member of the community then he SHOULD know better.
Brothers/Sisters have advised clearly that if he is not stopping then GET the police involved.

Sister’s safety is MORE important then the reputation of a man who can’t seem to take a “No”

Everybody has commented & given you good advice, there is nothing else to add & I am sure that your friend also know what to do!

She will be in our duas, Insha’Allah but if she chooses to ignore sensible advice and fails to take simple precautions and then get hurt, then I am Sorry there is no one else to blame.

Salam Aleykum'

I know this beautiful nice sister who is trying to lead a straight life to the best of her ability "like everyone else" the problem is.... this highly respected man in the Muslim community, whom at one time proposed marriage to her..... she accepted but when she found out he was only divorce by religion and not the laws of the country she immidiatly rejected him and told him to come back when he was also divorce by the laws of the country. To make the storie short his excuse was it would take some time to gather up what was intitle to the soon to be ex and that they have to reside in the same household for the children sake till he gives her her share, but in the mean time he could not live without seeing this sister....of course when hearing this outragious and complicated circumstances the sister said "NO WAY" He has been stalking, followin, ringing her door bell and phone hundreds of times and trying to get her to sin continuesly and tells her if she marries someone else he will do something to stop their happyness, by the way he has been married several times. What should this poor helpless sister do....he tells her no one will believe her because he is so well liked and respected in the community...I hope he tells that to Allah one day. How can I help her? Any suggestions?

Sheba

 

[Saifu deen]

:salam2:

May allah reward for being there for your friend inshallah. I believe that the elders (father,uncle,) can meet him secretly and discuss this issue. Allah (SWT) knows best, but he will prefer to keep his fame in the community than being stuck in a situation with other elders. But I guess he will remain innocent till proven guilty. Your friend must get a proof (witnesses from the family members and close individuals only (to avoid endless female gossips later on), record the conversation on the phone, some mobile phones can record, his conversation, and his car registration number can be another evidence).

Police would not be a good idea, because it is more appopriate to cover the brother's scandale so Allah (SWT) reward her and remove an obstacle of the day of judgement. Also your friend can be affected as well because she is a female, and today such issues affect the female no matter how much the sister is innocent and in need of help to solve this issue. People have no mercy to females in this kind of situation...

If he had childern, this issue might affect his relationship with his childern, sisters, brother, and brothers in islam. It can be avoided if elders can take control wisley inshallah through Qur'an and Sunnah inshallah...

Make dua for her inshallah,

 

[hussain.mahammed]

Well tell her about NINJABIS

wa/salam

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

ASAK,
i think this person should be stopped immediately by however means. i think it is better to take the help of the community members. and then take it to the law if needed.

if she thinks it will be a fuss then it will be on him as well (as you say he is a respected member in the community)

i'm surprised that your friend has not discussed it with the male members of her family.

May ALLAH SWT give her wisdom and strength to tackle this problem.

 

[dna1987]

One has to follow the law of the land they live in. If you are driving to the mosque, and you will be late unless you speed at 140km/h to make the prayers, that is not allowed. And if the laws are that bad, then it has been made permissible to emmigrate.

 

[jabba]

You were rude and I hope Allah forgives you. I am neutral and trying to help someone in need...there is a difference between making excuses and explaining a situation. If you new the girl you would know she is not enjoying this kind of abuse you call attention....the advice just came out today,there are people in this world who know that every action has a reaction and think of others before themselves, it is call SELFLESS. I hope you never have any female member in such a situation.

Sheba

Salam Alaikum
I am sorry I offended you, May Allah (SWT) forgive me as only He truly knows the sisters situation and why she is having problems seeking a solution.