saima abdullah
my life iz 4 Allah
George W. Bush's Intelligence Quiz While visiting England, George W.
Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her
leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself
with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're
intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow
me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer
this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,
and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up
and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the
Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He
summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I
wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this
child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get
back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a
meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question
for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally,
in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and
explains his problem.
"Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your
father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your
sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course,
you stupid!." Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House
and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin
Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb idiot, It's
Tony Blair!"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.
'The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'you do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis who women will flock to.'
The woman replied, 'that's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.' The woman said,
'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.' So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
He
Hee
Heee
Hee ha
Haa haa
Hee haa haaa
Hee hee haa haaa
He heee haaa haaa
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and Just enjoy the show... Cheers
just a joke so never mind
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A man went to a Vet with his dog and said "Doc my Dog hasnt been moving for the last 2 hours!! Whats wrong with him?"
The vet said: Put him on the table there please
So the man put him on the table.
The Vet went over and checked the dogs pulse.
Then he got a cat and put him on the dog.
The cat walked around over the dog but he still didnt move.
The vet then said, "I am sorry your dog is dead...and here is your bill"
The man looked at the bill it said "$500"
The man exclaimed "$500!!!! for what?"
The vet said:
$25 visit charges
$475 Cat Scan
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
+++++++++++++
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
+++++++++++++
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
"10...9...8...7..."
+++++++++++++
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
+++++++++++++
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."
+++++++++++++
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her
leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself
with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're
intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow
me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer
this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,
and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up
and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the
Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He
summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I
wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this
child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get
back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a
meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question
for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally,
in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and
explains his problem.
"Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your
father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your
sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course,
you stupid!." Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House
and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin
Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb idiot, It's
Tony Blair!"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.
'The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'you do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis who women will flock to.'
The woman replied, 'that's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.' The woman said,
'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.' So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
He
Hee
Heee
Hee ha
Haa haa
Hee haa haaa
Hee hee haa haaa
He heee haaa haaa
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and Just enjoy the show... Cheers
just a joke so never mind
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A man went to a Vet with his dog and said "Doc my Dog hasnt been moving for the last 2 hours!! Whats wrong with him?"
The vet said: Put him on the table there please
So the man put him on the table.
The Vet went over and checked the dogs pulse.
Then he got a cat and put him on the dog.
The cat walked around over the dog but he still didnt move.
The vet then said, "I am sorry your dog is dead...and here is your bill"
The man looked at the bill it said "$500"
The man exclaimed "$500!!!! for what?"
The vet said:
$25 visit charges
$475 Cat Scan
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
+++++++++++++
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
+++++++++++++
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
"10...9...8...7..."
+++++++++++++
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
+++++++++++++
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."
+++++++++++++
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
jazakallah khairan