Some Questions from someone trying to understand....

[dianek]

I have some questions for you all. I am not muslim, but wanted to find out what the "islamic" perspective is on the following:

Halloween---My husband will not allow our children to participate in Trick or Treating. However, down the street there is a muslim family who does allow their children to trick or treat with friends as long as they do not dress up.

Thanksgiving---Why would there be ANY problems in having Thanksgiving meals with Christian family members when really it is just to thank GOD for what he has given you and more than that is just really an American Tradition?

Christmas---We do not do Christmas at home, which is reallly sad to me, but I do go to my parents house and take the kids with me. This has become a time of war for me and my husband. I see no harm in them going for the sake of my parents as long as they are not preaching to the kids. And HONESTLY, there is no religion in Christmas in my family. It's just gifts and food and family. Should he relax and let me partake in my family events for the sake of my family as well as let the children?

LASTLY, another point of my husband and I's arguements, the beach and pools. He loves to go to the beach in the summer and swimming. I love to go to but he will not allow me to wear a swimsuit. And i am uncomfortable sitting on the beach in pants and shirts sweating to death and not enjoying the water while he frolics about. What do you Muslim women do in this situation? All our vacations are at the beach.....which has become no longer fun for me, just boring and unhappy. Please advise.

 

[ama6621]

Assalam Alaikum,
I will answer your questions about Thanksgiving and Halloween Insha Allah. Insha Allah some other brothers/sisters will give you more information/advice about your other questions.

I don't think your husband should have an issue with Thanksgiving. It is an American tradition and has no basis in religion. Muslims are allowed to participate in cultural events as long as they are not un-Islamic. Perhaps your husband is unaware of this. I'm sure that you might have tried to explain to him that Thanksgiving is tradition but perhaps because of your religious differences he does not wish to accept it as he might be under the impression that you are trying to convince him to do something wrong. Perhaps you might want to ask some of his muslims friends to talk to him about it if you want to celebrate thanksgving.

About Halloween, it is a pagan ritual. which makes it UN-CHRISTIAN also. In the past the pagans used to celebrate this day as the Day of the Dead. They believed that on this day the dead came back and so the living (in order to protect themselves) used to disguise themselves. This is from where the concept of Halloween costumes came into being. The pagans believed that the dead knocked on the door and so to appease them they gave them food (treat) otherwise the dead would put a spell on them(trick). There is a nice talk by Sheikh Yusuf Estes where he talks at length about why Halloween should not be celebrated. If I find it I will post the link Insha Allah.

You will find that many conservative christians also do not partipate in Halloween. I live in the US, so will only speak about Americans. I find that most Americans do not know about Halloween came about. They don't know the pagan traditions that started it. Many Americans also claim that Christmas is not a religious holiday for them but an American tradition. But we cannot ignore the reason why it started being celebrated (BTW, December 25 is not even Jesus Christ's (PBUH) true birthday...but thats a different story).
Since Muslims don't celebrate un-Islamic holidays, your husband is right in not wanting your children to participate in the Halloween celebrations.

Insha Allah, some one with more knowledge will help you with your questions.

Assalam Alaikum

 

[ama6621]

Assalam Alaikum,
Alhamdullilah I was able to find the link to Sheikh Estes' talk on Halloween.
http://hearislam.com/index.php?action=showgal&cat=20

Assalam Alaikum

 

[dianek]

With that line of thinking, is there no way for the kids to attend Christmas for the sake of pleasing my parents. You cannot imagine the heartache and ill-will it will cause between he and my parents if he keeps the grandchildren away. I am aware that Christmas is not the actual birth of Christ. I have research The Restored Church of God, they are much like muslims.

And please respond regarding the beach. Thanks so much for your response and I will review the link.

 

[ama6621]

Assalam Alaikum,
My brother in law's parents are Christians. He and my sister visit them for Christmas (they don't have children) just to maintain the relationship. There is no harm in doing that along as you are aware that this is just a family visit/dinner/get together. My brother in law's family gets him and my sister presents they however give the family presents for Eid. Sister, you will have to work this one out with your husband.

Assalam Alaikum

 

[zakariya]

I have some questions for you all. I am not muslim, but wanted to find out what the "islamic" perspective is on the following:

Halloween---My husband will not allow our children to participate in Trick or Treating. However, down the street there is a muslim family who does allow their children to trick or treat with friends as long as they do not dress up.

Thanksgiving---Why would there be ANY problems in having Thanksgiving meals with Christian family members when really it is just to thank GOD for what he has given you and more than that is just really an American Tradition?

Christmas---We do not do Christmas at home, which is reallly sad to me, but I do go to my parents house and take the kids with me. This has become a time of war for me and my husband. I see no harm in them going for the sake of my parents as long as they are not preaching to the kids. And HONESTLY, there is no religion in Christmas in my family. It's just gifts and food and family. Should he relax and let me partake in my family events for the sake of my family as well as let the children?

LASTLY, another point of my husband and I's arguements, the beach and pools. He loves to go to the beach in the summer and swimming. I love to go to but he will not allow me to wear a swimsuit. And i am uncomfortable sitting on the beach in pants and shirts sweating to death and not enjoying the water while he frolics about. What do you Muslim women do in this situation? All our vacations are at the beach.....which has become no longer fun for me, just boring and unhappy. Please advise.

hi peace to u
please check this video
who inventeed halloween
dr abdullah hakim quick
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-r13CP387sc

 

[gangstaat]

Wearing a swimsuit is a big no no in islam.
i think holoween and thanksgiving dont have any religious values as they are just a cultural part of america so no harm in that
about cristmas i dont know i m not sure
later

 

[dianek]

salams
i found why we shudnt celebrate non muslim holidays,but iam still searching for the proof for the swimming suits and such.
Question:
Can a muslim celebrate a non muslim holiday like Thanksgiving?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.
Greeting the kuffaar on Christmas and other religious holidays of theirs is haraam, by consensus, as Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah: "Congratulating the kuffaar on the rituals that belong only to them is haraam by consensus, as is congratulating them on their festivals and fasts by saying ‘A happy festival to you’ or ‘May you enjoy your festival,’ and so on. If the one who says this has been saved from kufr, it is still forbidden. It is like congratulating someone for prostrating to the cross, or even worse than that. It is as great a sin as congratulating someone for drinking wine, or murdering someone, or having illicit sexual relations, and so on. Many of those who have no respect for their religion fall into this error; they do not realize the offensiveness of their actions. Whoever congratulates a person for his disobedience or bid’ah or kufr exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah."

Congratulating the kuffaar on their religious festivals is haraam to the extent described by Ibn al-Qayyim because it implies that one accepts or approves of their rituals of kufr, even if one would not accept those things for oneself. But the Muslim should not aceept the rituals of kufr or congratulate anyone else for them, because Allaah does not accept any of that at all, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

"If you disbelieve, then verily, Allaah is not in need of you, He likes not disbelief for His slaves. And if you are grateful (by being believers), He is pleased therewith for you. . ."
[al-Zumar 39:7]

". . . This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islaam as your religion . . ."
[al-Maa’idah 5:3]

So congratulating them is forbidden, whether they are one’s colleagues at work or otherwise.

If they greet us on the occasion of their festivals, we should not respond, because these are not our festivals, and because they are not festivals which are acceptable to Allaah. These festivals are innovations in their religions, and even those which may have been prescribed formerly have been abrogated by the religion of Islaam, with which Allaah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to the whole of mankind. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]

It is haraam for a Muslim to accept invitations on such occasions, because this is worse than congratulating them as it implies taking part in their celebrations.

Similarly, Muslims are forbidden to imitate the kuffaar by having parties on such occasions, or exchanging gifts, or giving out sweets or food, or taking time off work, etc., because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." Shaykh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtidaa’ al-siraat al-mustaqeem mukhaalifat ashaab al-jaheem: "Imitating them in some of their festivals implies that one is pleased with their false beliefs and practices, and gives them the hope that they may have the opportunity to humiliate and mislead the weak."

Whoever does anything of this sort is a sinner, whether he does it out of politeness or to be friendly, or because he is too shy to refuse, or for whatever other reason, because this is hypocrisy in Islaam, and because it makes the kuffaar feel proud of their religion.

Allaah is the One Whom we ask to make the Muslims feel proud of their religion, to help them adhere steadfastly to it, and to make them victorious over their enemies, for He is the Strong and Omnipotent.

this is the site for that http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=947&ln=eng&txt=christmas
salams still next time inshallah

I think this is very harsh and as I understand, Muslims are to respect others, right? So you should be respectful of them and not rude in regards to their holidays. And if a Muslim man marries a Christian woman, as in my case, I would think him respecting the family of the Christian is mandatory or atleast that he made it an assumption by ME when married that my faith and the faith of my family that he respected this. AND, I think the term Kuffr is harsh in regards to my family. They are good people and believe in GOD almighty. Just through christianity not islam. From the words above it is no wonder to me WHY so many Christians and others fear islam and it's followers. It sounds so judgemental. Even listening to Imams speak, they sound so full of anger and judgement. Maybe they should be speak softly and calmly as ministers and preachers do and they might attract more believers in Islam. But I digress.

I appreciate your post, but it is this harshness that I find unable to contend with. AND after all is said and done, if my muslim husband cannot accept my christian heritage and my family, then he should profess Divorce. And if he did so I would give it to him for the sake of having peace in my day to day life.

 

[dianek]

salams
i found the answer to the swimming question
inshallah this will be of help to you dear sister
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503545706
salams till next time inshallah

Regarding swimsuits......how can women be expected to be FULLY covered in 100 degree weather and to swim like that with the clothes schaffing their legs. Is Islam really that biased? Why do MEN get to have ALL the enjoyment and satisfaction out of life? And tell me this, if my husband knows this as a muslim, then shouldn't he STOP forcing me to go to the beach and suffer as he enjoys himself? I am stubborn so I don't wear a swimsuit to avoid large scale war but I DO wear shorts and dare him to say anything about that. I am tired of him imposing his faith on me. If I want to be Muslim I will do so until then, let me be! I feel as though I get all the punishment because I am not muslim without committing the sins! Does that make sense?

 

[msaeed]

PM

Hi Diane, I hope you are in good health. I will PM you in a few hours. Im at work right now and my break is almost over Take care and no worries hopefully. Please check your mailbox within the next 3-5 hours. All the best...

 

[dianek]

salams
i was onyl trying to answer your questions with the support of some proof
iam very sorry if i have offended you in any way.
very very sorry indeed plz forgive me,
jazakallah khair
salams till next time inshallah

I am sorry. I sounded harsh. It just bothers me that non-muslims, even if Christian, are called Kuffrs when that is not true. Kuffrs are disbelievers in God, WE BELIEVE IN GOD! I as a Christian NEVER thought Jesus was GOD. How could he pray to himself? He couldn't. I never even took the meaning in church away from our minister that Jesus was God. I believe GOD IS ONE! The Ten Commandments say first "Thou Shalt not worship ANYONE before ME." I have always prayed to GOD, not Jesus.....however I do say "In Jesus' name I pray" in conclusion but always "DEAR GOD" in the beginning.

Religion is so confusing. I have even researched Mary magdelline as the possible concubine of Christ, thinking maybe The Roman Catholic Church has hidden her from history as the true founder of its church, not Paul. Wouldn't that just shock the world that Jesus chose a WOMAN to lead his church to God? But there is proof for, proof against, etc.

What I do know is that yes the Bible has lost many stories, gospels and truths. But the one thing that it holds to is LOVE. The Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have done to you". Why does islamic leaders sound so UN-LOVING? The only ones I have listened to that seem kind and nurturing to others is Yusuf Estes and The Adam guy in UK. I could listen to and consider there words easily.

 

[gangstaat]

^^
dianek i think you are confused about muslims
A muslim is a person who devotes his life to Allah and the ways of Prophes SAW
i kno cristians believe in god but u also believe in jesus being god aswell and alot of other stuff that is different from Islam.
In islam if you don't follow the Quran and Hadees you are kafir
kafir as in a sense of non believer of Quran and Ahadess
kafir as in a sense of not being a devoted muslim
you understand what i m saying?

 

[gangstaat]

Sister i would also recommend you to listen to speeches from Abdul rahim green
he explain's the concept of Allah and religion perfectly.
I think he has the best ability to explain to a non muslim

 

[gangstaat]

And 1 more thing. I thin k basically the problem is not your beliefs or our beliefs its just when both belief colide u know there's a war. You want what your religion tells you , your husband wants what his religion tells.
That's why inter religion marriges are not allowed in islam.
sorry no offense to u though

 

[dianek]

And 1 more thing. I thin k basically the problem is not your beliefs or our beliefs its just when both belief colide u know there's a war. You want what your religion tells you , your husband wants what his religion tells.
That's why inter religion marriges are not allowed in islam.
sorry no offense to u though

I think that if I respect his beliefs, he should respect mine. Respect should be a 2 way street. I will check out Mr. Green's speaches. Again, I do NOT believe Jesus is GOD. I do believe he his the "symbolic" son of God, not physical or biological......as i believe we are all the children of God. Is that so off base from islam?

 

[gangstaat]

well we are not children of God
but in islam we are all children of ADAM
Wen believe jesus (PBUH) was one of the mightiest messengers of islam
he was raised up alive and was not crucified (well this is another topic)
That's why Allah in the Quran promised to send jesus (PBUH) once again so he could show the christians that he was a messenger and was not crucified
Jesus (PBUH) would look away from christians and say "i dont know them"
well sister dont get me wrong here i m telling u what our believe is
I totally agree with u that your husband should respect your beliefs aswell.
i've seen with my own eyes muslim husbands of christian wives celebrating cristmas and stuff. If you husband does'nt understand then he should've thought of the consequenses before marrige. He's the one who broke the law why should u suffer for it
but i gotta ask u a little personal question please dont mind sister
don't u ever feel like a muslim?
PLEASE PLEASE DON'T MIND, IF IT HURT'S your feeling please forgive me and dont answer
May Allah's blessing's be upon u and your family

 

[gangstaat]

Regarding swimsuits......how can women be expected to be FULLY covered in 100 degree weather and to swim like that with the clothes schaffing their legs. Is Islam really that biased? Why do MEN get to have ALL the enjoyment and satisfaction out of life? And tell me this, if my husband knows this as a muslim, then shouldn't he STOP forcing me to go to the beach and suffer as he enjoys himself? I am stubborn so I don't wear a swimsuit to avoid large scale war but I DO wear shorts and dare him to say anything about that. I am tired of him imposing his faith on me. If I want to be Muslim I will do so until then, let me be! I feel as though I get all the punishment because I am not muslim without committing the sins! Does that make sense?

sister about this..
its because we respect women. If a women who is in a hijab and a women wearing bikini goes to a street who would be more vulnerable to a rape attack?
u do the math
Muslims respect women alot .
u know one time a person came to Prophet SAW and asked him who should we give the highest level of love and respect after Allah?
Prophet SAW said your mother
the guy said after that
Prophet SAW said your mother
the guy said after that
Prophet SAW said your mother
the guy said after that
Prophet SAW said your Father

75% mother (a woman) 25% father (man)
so a woman gets golden, silver and bronze

u get the point

 

[gangstaat]

here i m posting a book about women's rights in islam hope this'll help you
Men and women are created equal.
If a man has advantage of 1 thing the women will have advantage of another thing
example
2 people taking exam
A gets first second and third questions right and forth wrong
B gets first wrong and the rest correct

both get the same grade u understand what i m saying?

 

[dianek]

well we are not children of God
but in islam we are all children of ADAM
Wen believe jesus (PBUH) was one of the mightiest messengers of islam
he was raised up alive and was not crucified (well this is another topic)
That's why Allah in the Quran promised to send jesus (PBUH) once again so he could show the christians that he was a messenger and was not crucified
Jesus (PBUH) would look away from christians and say "i dont know them"
well sister dont get me wrong here i m telling u what our believe is
I totally agree with u that your husband should respect your beliefs aswell.
i've seen with my own eyes muslim husbands of christian wives celebrating cristmas and stuff. If you husband does'nt understand then he should've thought of the consequenses before marrige. He's the one who broke the law why should u suffer for it
but i gotta ask u a little personal question please dont mind sister
don't u ever feel like a muslim?
PLEASE PLEASE DON'T MIND, IF IT HURT'S your feeling please forgive me and dont answer
May Allah's blessing's be upon u and your family

No I don't feel like a muslim.....I feel like i live in a 3rd world country in my OWN country. I am strong willed, stubborn southern Girl. I can and have matched men tit for tat in many ways. So I have a hard time with a man, my husband, dictating to me. I divorced my ex-husband for trying to tell me what to do. Yet, here I am again. And I truly thought this religious difference would not matter as we met in a bar no less. He wasn't practicing.

As time passes so has he. And I am proud of the good things he has changed for God. But he must just be a really poor example of how a man should be in islam. Secondly, the muslim community here is not warm and welcoming. My son goes to an islamic school, I don't even go to his school because of the stares I get. It is very frustrating.

I have asked my husband to go away with me for the weekend, alone, no children so that he and I may reconnect and discuss these religious issues calmly......he refuses to go without the kids. So where do I rate in his priorities.......he and I will both be very alone when the children have grown and moved away.

I would be muslim if I found it to be the way and could find a "mosque" environment that was warm and friendly like many churches. But there are none that I have found. I am not against Islam, but until someone can connect it all together for me.....I am a happy non-practicing christian.

 

[gangstaat]

oops forgot the file lol