The Reluctant bride

[Muzlim]

The Reluctant bride

It should be the happiest day of her life
When she becomes someones wife
Dressed in red
Bride to be
For everyone to compliment and see

But
She looks so sad
Despite the make up
She looks condemned
Eyes so far away in a distant place
As if shes attending her own funeral

She is so lovely
Pretty, smart and educated

But sadly
Arranged to marry a stranger
By her father
Rather
Than a man of her choice
She is from the Liberal west
But she has no voice

Family in the past they are still stuck
Deals are struck
Land and money is traded
Sons and daughters sold into virtual slavery
The curse of the red passport
Claims another innocent victim

Culture clash
Recipe for disaster
Women who dont obey the master
Get mentally abused and physically bashed
Divorce not an option
Family honour maintained at any cost

Depression
Suicidal thoughts
Overdose on pills
The sad reality
Most think it
Few could go through with it

Kids come in quick succession
Divorce option
Severely restricted
No way out
Accept your fate
Learn to live with it

Old before your time
Education and talent wasted
Not appreciated or respected

Total defeat and surrender
I respect you for compliance
And respecting your parents wishes
Most choose love over arranged
Must be deranged
Divorce and adultery stats are worse
Marriage seems like a curse

Keep on praying for strength and resolve
Only Allah can help
And send a saviour
To rescue and save you
The Reluctant bride

Author: Showkat Ali
Disclaimer: No copyright in Islam, so please circualte widely inshAllah​

 

[Muzlim]

The practice of forced/ coerced marriages are slowly dying out among the Muslim as people realise that its an un-Islamic practice. But I still feel for those whose lives have been ruined as a result of parents following culture over Islam.

 

[Mahzala]

Assalamualaikum



I agree that giving your daughter or any female member away in marriage without her consent is against the Islamic teachings, and who am I to agree or not agree, its is a Divine Commandment full stop.

My point is that if you present this poem to a young girl, or a girl or who is newly engaged, or a reluctant bride as it says, someone who is doubtful about her situation, that sort of encourages the thoughts and motives that are explained in the poem, they become normalised. If you know what I am trying to say. In my opinion, material like this should be avoided, because poetry is something that affects someone emotionally, quite a great deal. It can be explained through other means, if you may agree. Those ignorant parents who arrange the girls marriage to a relative from the day she is born is wrong, you are not really giving her honour by making her attached to someone from such a young age. That leads to so much more fitnah, whether the girl agrees or not, I am sure you know what I mean. I dont think I need to go into the complexity of the issue there. When culture, a man made system clashes with Divine Commandments, the result is quite anticipated and not so pretty.

I mean, its quite an honest account of what happens in countries where culture preceeds religion, but also, on the other hand it is immensely destructive for young girls and some living in the West. I hope you understand my point, and are not offended by any of it. Surely the author is Showkat Ali, I am assuming, that is not you.

Salaamualaykum

 

[Asiya-sparkles]

Assalamualaikum



I agree that giving your daughter or any female member away in marriage without her consent is against the Islamic teachings, and who am I to agree or not agree, its is a Divine Commandment full stop.

My point is that if you present this poem to a young girl, or a girl or who is newly engaged, or a reluctant bride as it says, someone who is doubtful about her situation, that sort of encourages the thoughts and motives that are explained in the poem, they become normalised. If you know what I am trying to say. In my opinion, material like this should be avoided, because poetry is something that affects someone emotionally, quite a great deal. It can be explained through other means, if you may agree. Those ignorant parents who arrange the girls marriage to a relative from the day she is born is wrong, you are not really giving her honour by making her attached to someone from such a young age. That leads to so much more fitnah, whether the girl agrees or not, I am sure you know what I mean. I dont think I need to go into the complexity of the issue there. When culture, a man made system clashes with Divine Commandments, the result is quite anticipated and not so pretty.

I mean, its quite an honest account of what happens in countries where culture preceeds religion, but also, on the other hand it is immensely destructive for young girls and some living in the West. I hope you understand my point, and are not offended by any of it. Surely the author is Showkat Ali, I am assuming, that is not you.

Salaamualaykum

Assalam alaikom wa rahma tullah wa burrahktohu,

Although I think you are well intended, I like the very subtle approach this poetry has, this is an issue that is a painful reality for far too many sisters (and brothers, we mustn't forget) and is a cultural practice that has religious connections - to Hinduism, surely we would like to hi-light this in many forms, did you know that in communist russia poetry was a form of rebellion expression?

In truth as muslims we are enjoined to do what we are able to enjoin right and forbid wrong, we are also, as much as able, supposed to free ourselves from oppression, if a poem reaches into the heart and makes someone seek more knowledge to confront an issue that may happen in their own home - then Alhamdulillah!

May Allah bless us all and help perfect our Ikhlas, Imaan & stations of paradise. Ameen.

 

[BinKhadija]

A heartbreaking - and depressing for those our those sisters/brothers - truth is marvellously put in words. I loved this poem.

May Allah bless the writer for his stimulating work - I have to spread it everywhere I can, as I do feel the need. To be honest, I am taken aback this is written by a brother, while half way through I was like positive that these were one of millions sufferer’s words. Alhamdulillah, I was wrong! ...This in a way demonstrates the fact that we brothers are not that unaware or, nauzbillah, lackadaisical towards our sisters in faith.

Simply put, forced or even semi-forced arranged marriages are culture, NOT Islam.

 

[Muzlim]

Walaykum salaams All

JazakAllah for your comments and feedback, all of which is appreciated.

Yes the poem is depressing, but then again the issue of forced marriage is a sad and depressing one as elaborated by some of the comments.

The poem reflects how and why forced marriages are conducted and how the individuals concerned feel.

InshAllah this poem will raise awareness and discussion about this issue and expose forced marriages as a non-Islamic custom inshAllah.

 

[drassim]

:salam2:


Thanks for sharing ...:ma:

 

[Um Ibrahim]

Strong words

The Reluctant bride

It should be the happiest day of her life
When she becomes someones wife
Dressed in red
Bride to be
For everyone to compliment and see

But
She looks so sad
Despite the make up
She looks condemned
Eyes so far away in a distant place
As if shes attending her own funeral

She is so lovely
Pretty, smart and educated

But sadly
Arranged to marry a stranger
By her father
Rather
Than a man of her choice
She is from the Liberal west
But she has no voice

Family in the past they are still stuck
Deals are struck
Land and money is traded
Sons and daughters sold into virtual slavery
The curse of the red passport
Claims another innocent victim

Culture clash
Recipe for disaster
Women who dont obey the master
Get mentally abused and physically bashed
Divorce not an option
Family honour maintained at any cost

Depression
Suicidal thoughts
Overdose on pills
The sad reality
Most think it
Few could go through with it

Kids come in quick succession
Divorce option
Severely restricted
No way out
Accept your fate
Learn to live with it

Old before your time
Education and talent wasted
Not appreciated or respected

Total defeat and surrender
I respect you for compliance
And respecting your parents wishes
Most choose love over arranged
Must be deranged
Divorce and adultery stats are worse
Marriage seems like a curse

Keep on praying for strength and resolve
Only Allah can help
And send a saviour
To rescue and save you
The Reluctant bride

Author: Showkat Ali
Disclaimer: No copyright in Islam, so please circualte widely inshAllah​

Asalamu alaykum,

Wow! this poem was powerful and sad...may Allah help those who are in a situation which they are not happy with be it marriage or otherwise. Some sisers who choose their husbands, end up being in a horrible conditions because they are not happy and they are mentally/physically abused just like you describe in the poem also, so it's not only in arranged marriages. Some end up good, and some bad, may Allah protect us all evil...Amin