Tired of getting ridiculed...

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Waseem203

Young Muslim
Salam

I've just have had enough of the enviroment this school is in, the kids are out of control, the teachers probably haven't graduated themselves, and the administration doesen't even care about bullying. I've been followed around and harrased for litteraly a whole lunch break, and the teacher simply tells me to "deal with it" when she saw me getting aggravated. I speak Arabic in class, an older boy heard me and deemed it unusual and contiues to ridicule my language by telling his friends he can speak arabic then saying " Shemes sharot kho" (The first two are actually words). The point is im sick of all this harrasment--and Im getting aggravated enough to go and tell my brothers/cousins. Now my brothers aren't very Islamic, there practicly in a gang that I don't approve of and has been in a situation where he broke a boys jaw on the verge of jail. If I tell him, I KNOW they(the bullys) will get hurt and I will end of feeling terrible --or I need to switch schools. My alternative is tell my brothers to not hurt them but tell them to stop because they might be inclined to listen to someone bigger and older (bigger and older kids pick on me). Its the grade 12s that harrash me, I get along very well with all my grad 9 and 10 friends. What do you you think I should do?
:wasalam:
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,


As was suggested hold a meeting with the principal. Make sure you are present. Part of bullying is they are getting away with it. Make sure your parents tell the prinicipal it is a safety issue for you. When you use the word safety...the administration gets serious. They also need to understand that you will get a restraining order from the police to protect you should the school not handle the situation. They will deal with the bullies.
 
A

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
Zafran said:
salaam

tell your parents to come in and have a word with the teacher
Click to expand...
^But brother Waseem's already said that the teachers don't care Zafran Bhai, brother Waseem, I agree that you should go to your cousins or any older kids who have your back and tell them to give those kids a warning.

There's this one Stupid kid who's born in a "Bangali" Muslim family but him and his two cousins (they're all Freshmans) treat Islam and the Deen as something to mock and laugh about, and him, that fat kid, always laughed at me at school when he saw me because he was laughing when he saw my Kufi (it's white too, very noticeable :D), and so then I told this older Bangladeshi brothers who I know that are Seniors and Juniors, they're all Bangladeshi, and there's like 5-7 of them, and I remember on Friday I was walking through the Wing Bridge (my high school's HUGE, 3100 Students), and then I was like to them, "See that kid, he always laughs when he sees me because I'm wearing a Kufi," and I said this out of anger and rage because he was laughing at my Kufi, that I was wearing one, not at me, (me. me) personally; and one of them looked over at him and explained to the other there about the kid, and they told me to meet them at their bus so that all of us would go in and jump him, and then I couldn't, and then on Monday they told me that they were going to jump him but the main brother in the group, like the one with the higher status amongst them and the one who's the more practicing in Islam then them stopped them because he said that he wasn't sure if that was the kid or not, so he wouldn't let them jump that kid when they asked for his go....
but then I gave them better descriptions of that kid and their little cousin (who likes me alot, Freshman too, and likes me because he sees me as being really "pious" like everyone else at my school) knew who I was talking about and let them know and told me that they'll take care of that kid, and then the bell rang and I shook their hands and gave my Salams, and left the Cafeteria (we were talking during breakfast, and that incident on Friday was during the same time, although after breakfast)....

And so this other brother came to me today and was like to me, "You know that kid with the such and such color stripes? He was the kid that was messing with you right? Cause I just made him cry over there (he made a gesture towards the buses)," and I kinda got scared that he beat the kid up, but he told me that he was like to that kid, "Hey why do you go around laughing at that kid because he's wearing a Kufi? That's messed up, man that's stupid. If I hear anything like that again I'll pop you in the face," and that Freshman kid got scared and was denying the brother's claims, and the brother told me that if that kid does ever say anything, then to tell him, and he'll beat that kid up, and anyway if I do tell him or not, well I'd tell the other brothers first.

But my point is brother Waseem, is that you should do things like that, like have people that have your back for you. But I'd suggest someone that atleast has a date seed's worth of Eman to have your back for you when things deal like this brother. Like that's the case with me too, I don't go around talking with any Muslim kid who's bad and stuff, and doesn't atleast have some Eman in him, like at my school, I know a lot of the Senior Bangladeshi brothers, and I know this one Palestinian brother in my Freshman Gym class and his older cousin, who Mashallah both of them greet me with Salam first as soon as they see me, which Mashallah shows that they have atleast some Eman in them, and maybe they'd need more improvement, but maybe if they see a Muslim kid out there who they see as a guide for them who practices his Deen with care and concern, well maybe that kid's actions have an effect on them, and that's the case, and so that's why those brothers and the other Bangladeshi brothers always greet me with Salam and treat me with high respect, even though they're older than I am.

But, brother Waseem, now I think that it really is a good time for you to transfer to a differant Highschool, and the best would be a school full of Muslims who atleast have some Eman, and that is a school that is proper and well known for how good it is, like here at my highschool, they don't deal with anger problems, and they'll suspend anyone just for having an argument were they cursed at each other, even if it wasn't a fight, and they'd give 2 days of suspension for an argument like above, while at my other school it would've been that amount for a fight!
(But my only problem at school is the doing Salat part, which's been great for the time that I've been doing it since Ramadan, but now I have tight restrictions, which makes it hard to enjoy and taste Eman and Love for Allah Ta Alla and doing Ebadah, but, Allah Ta Alla will make it easier, if he wills).


May Allah Ta Alla make things easier for you brother Waseem, and make you of the pious and followers of the Salaf As Salih, and may he grant this upon all our young brothers and sisters who are at the beautiful roses of their youth and have concerns for their Lordand their Deen. Ameen Ya Zaal Jaa Laaly Wal Ekraam!

And Allah Ta Alla is Most Hight.

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A

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
mirajmom said:
Salaam,


As was suggested hold a meeting with the principal. Make sure you are present. Part of bullying is they are getting away with it. Make sure your parents tell the prinicipal it is a safety issue for you. When you use the word safety...the administration gets serious. They also need to understand that you will get a restraining order from the police to protect you should the school not handle the situation. They will deal with the bullies.
Click to expand...
Sorry Ammi. I started my post one hour ago and just finished it right now after you posted.
 
palestine

palestine

Servant of Allah
brother i think you should change schools. i know of a friend who's cousin committed suicide (she was muslim) and she could no longer take the teasing and harassment. she was bullied from grade school to college. she was in college now and she throw herself from a bridge down to a train track. akhi switch schools. that would be the best idea. because what if they don't listen to your parents. and your cousins and brothers will probably end up in jail if they beat those kids or people. so instead of making them lead themselves to trouble just switch schools. and akhi please do not ever think of suicide. i hate it when that happens to my brothers. here are some videos akhi.
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C

cmelbouzaidi

Junior Member
:salam2: i agree with mirajmom that this needs to be dealt with by the director of the school as the teacher is not prepared to react. it would be better, in my opinion, as a mother of two, to try this route first before asking for help from the street kids. if you live in the usa, i think once the school authorities are aware, the problem should be dealt with, but i don't know how it goes in other countries. i am just very dismayed at all these young brothers and sisters catching grief at school for being muslim. i read the thread from sister palestine and someone had been tormenting her for years and betweenn you now and the young brother in new jersey, it is just outrageous.

i also believe, brother waseem, that it needs to be made clear that the teacher has witnessed the harrassment and just said "deal with it" as this should be unacceptable to any school authority, religion aside. good luck and don't let the ignorant ones get you down. your iman will only become stronger out of all of this, Insha Allah :)

:wasalam:
 
*FatimaFilsan*

*FatimaFilsan*

Junior Member
:salam2:
listen to the wise advice the brothers and sisters gave you. It is sad to hear what you are going through but remember that it doesn't have to be this way. There is something you can do about it. You don't have to hide the fact that you are getting bullied. Tell your parents and family about it. They will help you deal with it. You need their support. If nothing works out and your school doesn't do anything about it, then it is best for you to change school. Because bullying is not something you have to live with, you go to school to learn not to be tormented. And you know this will effect your grades because you will always feel miserable when you go to school. And this is something we don't want you to go through.
So please let your parents and any adult know about what is happening to you at school and try to bring this bullying to an end before it gets worse.
 
A

autumn

Strength in Unity
give those bullies a warning, tell them you got a whole gang behind you but also, always keep your distance from the bullies. my school is a muslim school yet it is so corrupted but alhamdullilah some teachers are very good and are there to help.
 
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Waseem203

Young Muslim
:salam2:

Thanks for all the advise brothers/sisters.

Brother Abdul Hasib you seem to almost be in the same situation that I am, expect that you can easily solve with yours. I'm in a dilemma because I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I told myself that if someone older than me trys to attack me I have no other solution but to tell my brothers. They always tell me if anyone "messes" with you then you just tell us. I'm afraid if I tell my parents, my brothers (subsequently my cousins) will end up knowing and the result of this WILL be bloody. The administration almost always turns a blind eye to this, I believe I already made a post saying how racist my school was. ( A boy was actually stabbed). The situation here almost seems unstable and the education barely even gets through me with this unclean enviorment. I will attempt to get the administration to "do" something but if they do react and it's simply ineffective than I'l decide to transfer schools. Thank you sister palestine your videos helped a lot and were very relevant. I'm heart broken to hear that your Muslim friend commited suicide though:( Thanks for all your responses.

:wasalam:
 
V

vironchopin

New Member
Salam,

Regarding this bullying, at the age of 10 -12 yso I was one of the victim long time back by of course senior students till one day I just could not tolerate no more I started to retaliate. My motto was simple "You bother me I bother you". Most of the time they won but I was more determined until they understood my stand. Even I dragged the teachers to involve in this situation.

As for you my brother, why should you become deppressed of these ignorant lot. These morons would not stop abruptly even your whole clan come to your aid until you decide what is your stand and your actions.

I dont know how serious is yours but I was sure mine was bad enough.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,


My daughters and sons do not fear these fools. That is their lot in life. They have nothing else. I have been in the school systems and a counselor, a therapist, and a social worker..I have seen a good deal. You will aspire to greater things. These fools are nothing but thorns in your life. Do not allow the fears of these people to be your garment.
As you are mostly minors it is imperative that you have your parents contact school officials. When your parents meet with adminstration there is documentation that the events are real. You need a paper trail to have things accomplished. It is a step by step procedure. Once the school recognizes the problem it can take action. Your parents have to use the word safety. They are concerned about your welfare. Another key word to use in meetings.
In the US you have a right to an education in an environment that is condusive to learning. You are not to be harrassed. This is an infrigment upon your education. If need be your parents can argue that you need to attend a private school paid by the local education agency for your education...which would include titution and all fees and transportation.
You do not need to engage in a gang mentality. If you do you only hurt yourself. You need to know that bullies are cowards. If you need to have a police escort to classes do so.
But do not despair.
 
B

BigAk

Junior Member
:salam2:

Waseem is a beautiful name. It means Handsome.. :) When I grew up and was your age my best friend's name was Waseem. He was my best friend from the 8th grade up to the 12th. He was extremely smart that I could not even reach his level and was a bit jealous to be honest... haha... Thinking back and now, I feel I was silly to be jealous of him. I wish I could run into him now.. He graduated with honors from high school that enabled him to go to medical school. Waseem was the first in our class and I was a tagging second. I loved my friend.

Living in an arab country, there was no such thing as bullying. I've only heard of such a thing here in the US.

Waseem. Instead of relying on your brothers' muscles, why don't you attack with intellect. Next time they harrass you, why don't you say something extremely intelligent that will make them stop and scratch their heads instead??

It's all about human psychology.. See... They will pick on you because they sense that it buggs you to death.. Reverse your feelings on them. Although you're burning inside, pretend that you're not bothered a bit and come back with a challenge to diffuse the situation. Here's an example:

Bully Kid: hey man... so you speak aaaraaab.. tell me.."Shemes sharot kho"..hahaha

Waseem: Oh no man.. You're saying it all wrong.. Check it out... Here's how you should say it.. try it with me ... Listen.. (and you say it)

Bully Kid: Whatever man....

Waseem (with a smile): Hey man... At least I can speak two languages.. How many can you speak bro?? Here.. Can you roll your R's ??? Try it... Bet you can't... Hahahah..

Bully Kid.. Walks away confused as to why you're not upset...

Waseem (with a laugh): Hey bro... Where you going?? Okay.. How about spanish... You know spanish??

You get the picture Waseem?? I guess what I'm trying to say is use psychology to reverse and diffuse the situation.

Also, hit the gym... Start squatting and benching and eat like a horse.. At your age, you are loaded with testosterone and you'll be surprised how much muscle you can put on.. Half of the battle is appearance.. once you look a bit bigger, bullys would steer off your way and leave you alone. Believe me I know.. I'm a bodybuilder myself.

May Allah be with you. :D
 
palestine

palestine

Servant of Allah
hey i like BigAk's advice. i was in need of that too. see i go to thise program called "peer mediation". i didn't think i would learn anything there. but i actually learned alot. it teaches us how to reconcile between two people and how we should solve the problem if we are the ones in the situation. i had anger issues, only when i get upset of course. but now i'm thinking in my heart that i will be able to control it. with the hadith of the Prophet s.a.w and with this program together i can do lots for myself and the world. alhamdulillah. BigAk i love your advice. and guess what waseem i'm jealous of you man, you speak arabic and i have been trying to learn for the past two years. ugh. man i can understand when reading and writing but i cannot even have a conversation. isn't that silly. you're 12 years of age and you speak like an adult. you've got a good head on your shoulders. really i believe you will help change the world for the better. do not give up akhi. asalamu alaykum wrwb.
 
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