too ugly for marriage

[Hearts of Greenbirds]

if she say she is ugly then she is saying that Allah swt made her ugly and that is not true couse Allah swt said Allah jamilun waa yahibu jamilan so how can Allah swt made some one ugly when he love beuty so Dear tell u friend s too have more sabr and too see the real beuty couse too look good is not everything i have seen many sister s who look good but then again they are like a door and when i say door i mean beuty for them is everything ... and a muslim should not thing like that and i use too think like that .... if i said anything khayr then it is from Allah swt and if i said anything wrong then it is from me and shaydan may Allah swt forgive us all Allahuma amiin remember dua help s alot ukhti

 

[Almaas]

:salam2:

Abdullah b. Amr(ra) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: ''The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman''. - Muslim, Book 8, Hadith 3465

It doesn't say beautiful, but pious. Looks can be decieving, I pity the man who bases his marriage on looks.

She's still young, she should put her complete trust in Allah SWT, and things will work out InshAllah.

 

[rightpath_357]

Salam- I'm GLAD this sister isn't married yet. All those "men" that told her that she's ugly don't deserve her at ALL- if they don't know that the actual beauty lies withn her wonderful chararistics and not her face and hair! :angryred:

Insha'Allah this sister will find a smart, caring brother that she deserves. Ameen



But I have a question.....


I get the impression from this thread that Allah will question us if we don't get married. I'm worried about that because I don't plan to marry. Maybe I will, it's in Allah's hands. But in my plans, I won't. Purpose is- Insha'Allah I'll go to Palistine if I become a very good doctor and help the Muslims. But what if I die there? I'll be enabling one more person to sorrow other than my family, freinds, relatives, etc.... Will Allah (SW) pardon THIS?


Thank you

Salam

 

[Parvaiz]

:salam2:

At first i would like to quote a verse of Quran

Allah Says

لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الإِنسَـنَ فِى أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍ
Verily, We created man in the best form.

This Ayah Refers to every human so someone cannot on behalf of others opinion call his or herself ugly or he or she is against Allah's Command.
Secondly this era is the era of fitnah we have to be very patient in order to bare with it
Secondly hadith from Prophet Muhammad

A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper

I think the hadith has all what i have to say
Patience is the Virtue
And Allah Knows best

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

Well Zinirah do you think she is in anyway unattractive ? Do you believe that she might have a chance to find a man that would marry her for her looks ?

If the answer to the first question is no and the second is yes then she might just belittling herself.

She might be comparing herself to someone thats maybe 10x more attractive than her, and if she sees no similarity between her and the person shes comparing with than she might come to the conclusion that shes ugly. But im not sure. Allah SWT knows best.

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

I think that Ayah is refering to Human beings in general.

 

[Parvaiz]

I think that Ayah is refering to Human beings in general.

:salam2:
Your right it does indeed, but that doesn't justify you as calling yourself ugly or whatever the mind may think of oneself ,Allah created everyone in best shape as the ayah says ,some are black,some are white,some are beautiful some are not ,Allah test everyone it maybe in anyway he wants.Rich maybe tested if he gives zakah or not or spends in Allah's way,on the other hand poor person is tested if he has patience or not .
The important thing here is no one has authority to call others with names or any word which makes the person ashamed of itself or degrades his or her personality,whoever was it calling other ugly doesn't realize the same defect might be put unto him as he has no idea what sin he is committing,if Muslim would had never gone far from Quran and Hadith things like this would have never occurred.Thanks for pointing out.

As for the questioner she should be patient and not loose hope or say i wont marry as people call me ugly you never know what may happen
everything is under Allah's control.
You breath because Allah lets you,Your eyes blink because Allah lets you,You wake up from Sleep because Allah lets you,similarly if you get married that is also from Allah but your effort is also needed listening to people who simply have no knowledge what Islam means like reading something blindly.And Marriage completes half the religion so she should try to and women may have very hard time in future as compared to men. IF she doesn't marry that may lead to various kinds of though which in end leads to i am sorry to say suicide.
Tell her to do more Asthagfaar
And Allah Knows Best

If i made any mistake plz correct me

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

It is time to grow up. I have read this and started to think. I am going to be straightforward.

Self-pity is almost a sin. Self-pity is the stuff of the media to make you feel bad. It is to make you needy. It is to make you get hooked on medications and the like.

The best remedy for self-pity is to do something for others. Beauty lies in the deeds that are presented to Allah. Do good and you are beautiful.

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
in many cases the ugliness comes from unsureness,I think that she feels ugly and by consequence everybody looks at her badly.she should apperciete more herself,have cure of herself but above all she should not lose the hopeness,and in Sh Allah she will find her sweetheart.In my adolescence I wore like a boy,had very short hair:I had no identity because I didn't want that the boys came to make me good compliments,then at the age of 16/17,I asked to myself why none saw me like something more than a friend.
Allah gave me my twin soul,then I understood that it was better for me to preserve myself only for him!

 

[ya allah madad]

Assalaam walaikum,

It is time to grow up. I have read this and started to think. I am going to be straightforward.

Self-pity is almost a sin. Self-pity is the stuff of the media to make you feel bad. It is to make you needy. It is to make you get hooked on medications and the like.

The best remedy for self-pity is to do something for others. Beauty lies in the deeds that are presented to Allah. Do good and you are beautiful.

can i have wisdom like u Appa Jani?

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
mamy times a person feels ugly because he/she is unsure of what he/she is and has.I just make a reflection,when I was(and still am)young,I dind't complain myself because I was ugly and none looked at me.I was like the tortoise in the shield,I was afraid of others judgements,so I prefered not to be considered.I just was friend of everybody and of none.this characteristic of myself many times broght me to stay alone duering the breaks at school,I was in silent.I felt nor a girl neither a boy.I wore jeans and long t-shirt because the guys of the school laughed at me telling that I had big bottom,while instead I was 13 years old and my shapes were growing like a normal teenager.So I felt ugly,while it was a normal stage of my adolescence.at 16 years old I hated boys,I treated them badly because maybe I was scared by the fact that in my family my father was rude and by consequence I feared that one day I could have been commended by a man like it happened in my house.then,Suddendly my shield broke,I distingushed good frienships from bad ones,I startes to behave like a girl,but I never gave the permission to some guy to embrace me:I don't like it.I wasn't a self-pity person,just I was unsure of myself and by consequence the people who saw me so ugly,avoided me,I had short hair until 18 years old,then only my partner understood me and he saw that my ugliness didn't exist.
@sis Aapa:thanks for the post,you made a good reflection.

 

[Zeb-UK]

Assalamu-Aleikum.

Everyone has a beauty within them. Some might be beautiful in appearance, some might have beautiful hair, some might have beautiful heart etc etc etc... Not all men search for beautiful appearance. A beautiful heart and deen/iman is far more important.

As long as your friend keeps trying to find a husband to complete 50% of her deen with full heart and intentions, then I'm sure Allah (swt) will make it easy for her.
Allah (swt) is the most merciful and the best of planners.

Please tell your friend not to give up. Think positive and think halal.

 

[Ahsen]

Well.A lot of members added their response so i can't say the same thing.But i would like to say that she can turn herself into attractive by exercising,some herbs etc.

 

[Abdul25]

Well no one is ugly and she should not let her down. but whosoever says that the looks are not important is wrong in my view. physical beauty is also important, how can some one marry some one when at first sight you dont feel attracted towards her?? this is a big question. you are going to spend all of your life with her and you should feel that she is physically beautiful (yes being pious is more important ). the things said by you guys are impractical. they dont work in real word. they are good in books only.

 

[Perseveranze]

ut I have a question.....


I get the impression from this thread that Allah will question us if we don't get married. I'm worried about that because I don't plan to marry. Maybe I will, it's in Allah's hands. But in my plans, I won't. Purpose is- Insha'Allah I'll go to Palistine if I become a very good doctor and help the Muslims. But what if I die there? I'll be enabling one more person to sorrow other than my family, freinds, relatives, etc.... Will Allah (SW) pardon THIS?


Thank you

Salam

Asalaamu Alaikum Sister,

Mashallah to hear your intentions of helping the needy and dedicating your life to such a cause.

From my understanding it is no obligatory to get Married however it is strongly encouraged because it is regarded as one of the Prophet(pbuh)'s Sunnah.

This may help, though I suggest you do more research into it - http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101126142504AAgxNqZ

 

[kalamazoo]

asalaam aleykum.

It is not beauty BUT IKHLAAQ matters most.


"uzuri si hoja hoja tabia"

 

[Murad206]

Bismillah-ir Rahman-ir Rahim, Walaikum Assalam. Tell her that she will be beautiful in Jannah, and that it's not required to get married because we will all have our special wives/husbands in Jannah who are everything we ever wanted and much beyond that.

 

[ShyHijabi]

:salam2:

This post is a year and a half old.