Trust

jabba

Salafi Dawah is the best
Salam Alaikum

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about trust in relationships, just in general. I'm not going to tell you our opinions about it since I don't want anyone to be biased :p.

So my question is if husband and wives are supposed to be honest with eachother, what then happens if either the husband or wife gets a job were they are not allowed to discuss it at all with the other spouse. Say their job requires them to be sworn to secrecy. Is this allowed in Islam to keep certain secrets from the other spouse????

:wasalam:
 

kayleigh

Junior Member
This isn't based in Islam, but I wouldn't personally mind it. I'd get curious, but it wouldn't be as if he's cheating on you and is keeping that from you. The things he's not supposed to tell you aren't things that he HAS to tell you or SHOULD tell you. They don't involve you or him or the family, so I wouldn't mind it.
 

Globalpeace

Banned
W-Salam,

People like my father were sworn into secrecy and I also know other couples who are in similar situations...

This is NOT a breach of trust, Insha'Allah.

Salam Alaikum

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about trust in relationships, just in general. I'm not going to tell you our opinions about it since I don't want anyone to be biased :p.

So my question is if husband and wives are supposed to be honest with eachother, what then happens if either the husband or wife gets a job were they are not allowed to discuss it at all with the other spouse. Say their job requires them to be sworn to secrecy. Is this allowed in Islam to keep certain secrets from the other spouse????

:wasalam:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

My husband and I were therapists. ( go ahead and laugh ). We learned not to bring home the stuff with us. I would just roll my window down and scream for a couple of minutes or drive 80 miles an hour in 55 mph zone. When I got home I was mentally clean. It did not divide us...
In a sense this really had nothing to do with being close... we would share something funny together...that is not what led to us being separated.
 

SalmanFarsi

New Member
Salaam Alaikum,

I think the trust between husband and wife is that which encompasses the other party or the relationship in general in anyway. Thus if there is any matter that can affect the other person then that info can not be withheld.

However, a promise to keep something secret is a promise and we all know that a Muslim can NOT break promises as it is one of the characteristics of a munafiq [hypocrite] who does so. On the same token, it would also be hypocritical of a man to promise another woman that he will not reveal their relationship to his wife. And this would be in breach of his initial trust with his wife.

My humble thoughts. And Allah knows best.

walhamdulilahi rabbel alameen

-Alfarsi
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,


the best thing about a committed realtionship is the freedom it gives to each spouse....each person therefore can develop and enjoy that which is important to them...for some couples they do everything together..for some they need the time to be independent....I love what Kahil Gibran wrote on marriage and often use it when I do couples therapy:
my version: man oak tree woman; cypress tree
different but not overshadowing each other
close but independent.


The Prophet ; on marriage. Much better read as written by the great poet.
 

najbc

Junior Member
Trusting is great but if one of the spouses has a job that they can not discuss or tell to other spouse, I think it will be ok, as long as they promise if it is hurt them or danger involve letting the other one know. I do not think I would mind.
 

najbc

Junior Member
Assalamu alaykum,

out of curiosity, is your husband the FBI OR spy because that is the only to job I know that are secretive.
 

jabba

Salafi Dawah is the best
:SMILY303: :lol: ok ok seriously though, what makes you think he got a job that requires secrecy and not me??
 

Mrmuslim

Smile you are @ TTI
Staff member
:SMILY303: :lol: ok ok seriously though, what makes you think he got a job that requires secrecy and not me??

salaam alikom

Sister I saw him yesterday following couple of people while wearing sun glasses on cloudy day, and holding the newspaper upside down and he changed his hair style...

he looked like this >>> :SMILY61:
Then later i saw him like this

attachment.php
 

kayleigh

Junior Member
out of curiosity, is your husband the FBI OR spy because that is the only to job I know that are secretive.

Goverment jobs/military jobs, anything in the field of psychology, medicine, or law would all involve some level of confidentiality, to name some.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

Sister, I am glad you pointed that out. I work in a field whereas there can be no breach of confidentiality or else I lose my job. It is not that difficult. I do not wish for others to know the private world of mine nor would I dishonor my clients. It does not deter from trust in a meanigful realtionship.
 
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