truth4real
Junior Member
[yt]kRfkrE96IOk[/yt]
video.by.sister.on.plural.marriage
- Thread starter truth4real
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virtualeye
Tamed Brother
Assalaamualaikum,
MashaAllah, her comments and her metaphorical example is logical.
MashaAllah, her comments and her metaphorical example is logical.
Wa alaikumussalaam,
Indeed brother. May Allaah swt make all the women open to this issue of polygamy, including myself
AMEEN.
Indeed brother. May Allaah swt make all the women open to this issue of polygamy, including myself
AMEEN.truth4real
Junior Member
salam.alaykum.yeah.ive.never.heard.tha.example.before
truth4real
Junior Member
Wa alaikumussalaam,
Indeed brother. May Allaah swt make all the women open to this issue of polygamy, including myself
salam.alaykum
ameen
sister.and.may.ALLAH.help.the.the.brothers.to.give.them.justice.when.they.enter.it.ameen
The practicality of polygamy eludes me and sorry asking permission from your child wether you want to have another child in no way compares with informing(which the sister has compared to asking for permission) your wife that you intend to get a second wife the equation is quite revolting.......it`s not only regressive but so out of step with time......it preys on an economic factor that some of you had the audacity "inshAllah that it opens the hearts of women to the idea".......i have a question do you really have a heart?
q8penpals
Junior Member
Salam
In my opinion, the comparison of having another child is in NO WAY the same as having a second (or more) wife.
Let's look at these scenarios:
1. A man and woman are married and have a child. Both the parents are available to each other and the child; pretty much all the time (say minus working hours). They have another child. Both the parents are available to each other, the first child, and the second child, and the first child now has another loved one in the family. They will celebrate the holidays together, spend family time together, no matter how many kids they have.
2. A man and woman are married and have a child. Both the parents are available to each other and the child, pretty much all the time (say minus working hours). The man takes a second wife. Now the first wife only has him for her and her child half of his time. Which family does he break fast with during Ramadan? Who does he celebrate Eid with? What if he has children with 1 wife and not the other - does he spend more time with the kids/wife (who have each other) or the childless wife (who has no one else) - but wait, shouldn't he be spending more time with his kids - then what about the childless wife, she has to be alone more? If he has children from both wives, how will he divide his time?
I am NOT SAYING that what God has approved should be thrown aside - I am simply say that everyone needs to look at the ENTIRE situation they will be in if they choose (or agree to) this lifestyle choice. They need to have a PLAN as to how to deal with the situations like what I mentioned above.
I have personally known (in my husband's family) several of the older men who have 2 wives and not a single one of the women has ever been happy with the situation - the kids are not happy, and it makes it rough for the whole family. I am not saying that people can't make it work, but think really, REALLY hard. Many people say it is hard enough to make marriage between 2 people work these days, imagine adding another into the mix?
Just my opinions...
Lana
In my opinion, the comparison of having another child is in NO WAY the same as having a second (or more) wife.
Let's look at these scenarios:
1. A man and woman are married and have a child. Both the parents are available to each other and the child; pretty much all the time (say minus working hours). They have another child. Both the parents are available to each other, the first child, and the second child, and the first child now has another loved one in the family. They will celebrate the holidays together, spend family time together, no matter how many kids they have.
2. A man and woman are married and have a child. Both the parents are available to each other and the child, pretty much all the time (say minus working hours). The man takes a second wife. Now the first wife only has him for her and her child half of his time. Which family does he break fast with during Ramadan? Who does he celebrate Eid with? What if he has children with 1 wife and not the other - does he spend more time with the kids/wife (who have each other) or the childless wife (who has no one else) - but wait, shouldn't he be spending more time with his kids - then what about the childless wife, she has to be alone more? If he has children from both wives, how will he divide his time?
I am NOT SAYING that what God has approved should be thrown aside - I am simply say that everyone needs to look at the ENTIRE situation they will be in if they choose (or agree to) this lifestyle choice. They need to have a PLAN as to how to deal with the situations like what I mentioned above.
I have personally known (in my husband's family) several of the older men who have 2 wives and not a single one of the women has ever been happy with the situation - the kids are not happy, and it makes it rough for the whole family. I am not saying that people can't make it work, but think really, REALLY hard. Many people say it is hard enough to make marriage between 2 people work these days, imagine adding another into the mix?
Just my opinions...
Lana
shaheeda35
strive4Jannah
:salam2:
:mashallah: this is what Allah says, and we should not dispute it. There has to be a balance inshallah. A man was not created with two hearts, but must still try to be fair and just. If the sister is strong in her deen, she will not question what Allah has already written, she will just accept it. Allahu Alim!
:mashallah: this is what Allah says, and we should not dispute it. There has to be a balance inshallah. A man was not created with two hearts, but must still try to be fair and just. If the sister is strong in her deen, she will not question what Allah has already written, she will just accept it. Allahu Alim!
truth4real
Junior Member
:salam2:
:mashallah: this is what Allah says, and we should not dispute it. There has to be a balance inshallah. A man was not created with two hearts, but must still try to be fair and just. If the sister is strong in her deen, she will not question what Allah has already written, she will just accept it. Allahu Alim!
salam.alaykum.ameen.