Sisters What if I don't want to wear Hijab?

Roaa_Ahmed

Roaa_Ahmed

Junior Member
Assalamu'alikum
I'm a 16 year old girl and actually I've reached puberty about 3 years ago. However, I don't really want to wear Hijab. I just don't want to. I don't want to be like all of those girls who wear it (it's actually too mainstream in my country or city). Plus, when I was younger my mom always used to put my up hair in a ponytail for over 6 years while I've always wanted to get out this "ponytail-zone". And now when I'm finally out of the "ponytail-zone", I have to wear hijab. I just want to feel like creative with my hair, going out with it and having compliments for it, that's all I want. Yet at the same time, for sure, I'll be wearing modest clothes or just the same I would wear if I was wearing Hijab. Because I don't really see that my hair would be that much attracting for men, my brother doesn't think it's attractive nor even do my guy-friends. So what you girls think?? Also, I wanted to make sure of the concept that "You cannot wear Hijab until you want to otherwise it won't be accepted" because whenever I ask somebody they say yes it's true but never really give me proof.
 
islamic_point

islamic_point

Member
Walaikum assalam sister ... you are a muslim and don’t want to wear the hijab as you maybe don’t see any advantages in wearing it then just read this verses
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful(33:59)
. Another verse
Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.(2:216)
so as a muslim you must follow quran ...
 
cabdixakim

cabdixakim

Junior Member
wa'aleykumas-salaam
"What if I don't want to wear the Hijab?" Well sister,you are simply not acting upon the verses of the Quran{24:31}{33:59} if not disbelieving in them.
But I am worried of your reasoning whereby you chose to drop your Hijjab for compliments.If people do not like or dislike you for your internal beauty{character} then their compliments on your external beauty is nothing but a compromise and misleading,and to know who is true in valuing you there is no better way in wearing Hijjab{making your external beauty completely obscure}
In spite of that, being muslims means sacrificing our will to that of Allah{which is always for our benefit} is what we do,that's what our name "muslim/ah" means.
When the verse {24:31} was reavealed Umu Salah{r.a} said,"The woman of Answaar covered their heads as if they were crows on their heads,becouse of the way they covered themselves"...or as she has said.There are many Ahadiths indicating covering of head was done practically by Muslimaats after the revelation of the fore-mentioned verses.And covering of head is simply of covering of hair too.
The punishment for those who do not wear Hijjab is severe as said by The prophet(s.a.w in a very long Hadith narrated by Ali{r.a}.He says,
"
"1 came to the Prophet accompanied with Fatimah but We noticed him weeping vehemently. I said,
"I sacrifice you with my father and mother, Messenger of Allah. Why do you weep?" He said, "0 Ali, in the
night Journey (Isra) when I was taken up to the sky, I saw some women of my nation suffering some types
of torture. Therefore, I wept because of their sever tortures. I saw a woman who was hanging from her hair
and her brain was boiling. Another Woman was hanging from her tongue and a boiling fluid was being
poured into her mouth. Another woman whose legs were tied to her breasts and her hands to her forehead
and another who was hanging from her breasts. Another whose head was like a pig's and body like a
donkey and suffered million types of torture, and another woman who had the shape of a dog while the fire
pierced her month until it left her body from the anus and the angels were also Scourging her with lashes of
fire. Upon hearing that, Fatimah asked. O darling and the pleasure of my eyes, what were they doing to
Suffer such torture? Then the Prophet said; O daughter, as for the woman who was hanged from hair, she
would not cover her hair from men. The woman who was hanged from her tongue used to bring harm to
her husband; the one who was hanged from her breasts cumulated her husband's bed. The woman whose
legs were tied to her breasts and hands to forehead and suffering from serpents and scorpions would not
clean her body from major impurity or menstruation, and neglected prayer. The woman whose head was
like a pig's and had a donkey’s body was a talebearer and lair. As for the last one, she used to remind
recipients of her charity to them and was envious. O daughter, woe to her who disobeys her husband.”
may Allah{swt} forgive our sins and have mercy on us and all muslims dead and alive...aamiin
 
Um Ibrahim

Um Ibrahim

Alhamdulilah :)
Asalaamu alaykum sister. Well, here's something for you to think about: how will you feel every day that you step outside of your home without hijab that Allah is angry with you? How will you face Allah if you suddenly die knowing that you disobeyed Him knowingly just to feel "creative" and for your own reasons? How? If you know that the Hijab is mandatory in Islam than you have no choice in this decision. You must wear it whether you are happy with it or not.

There are many times when I'm tired or sleepy and I don't feel like making wudu and praying, but guess what I still have to do it because it is Allah's commandment. So you too have to wear hijab even if you don't like it or don't want to. This is not about your feelings. Allah must be obeyed.
 
happilyeverhereafter

happilyeverhereafter

Not a perfect Muslim but a striving one! :)
Assalamu Alaikum, sister!

Thank you for being open and expressing how you feel! I can somewhat relate to your story. I wore hijab from 6th grade-7th grade and took it off after that because my hijab was too small & I never got a new one (that was my excuse back then). When I took it off (especially in high school), I felt free...I felt beautiful. I was the popular girl at school. I got so many compliments on my hair. I think I was even known for my hair, lol. But you know what? Three years later, my hair started thinning. My hair is no longer pretty (alhamduiliah, it's getting better though). I take this as a lesson from Allah (azza wa jal) because at that time, I was arrogant. I thought I was better and prettier than everyone else. But Allah took away my beauty because I deserved it and perhaps HE wanted me to learn from that. And who knows- I seriously wonder if my hair is thinning because someone (or even many) gave me the evil eye. I'm not trying to blame it all on the evil eye, but it's something I wonder about because so many people had touched my hair and complimented me. It's a scary thought now that I look back. If I was to go back in time (& knew more about Islam), I really would have even took the extra step to wear niqab just to preserve my beauty, but instead I showed off my beauty...something I should have kept private.

Compliments are good, but it can sometimes feed a person's ego. I know because after getting so many compliments, it made me act full of myself (arrogant). So we must ask ourselves what's our intention behind showing our beauty to the world. Surely, one who has even an atom's worth of arrogance will not enter the gates of Jannah! I have learned that showing off my beauty...or my hair doesn't let me be free rather it is hijab that lets me be free because it protects me from wandering eyes & allows people to respect & see me for my mind not my body. That is the beauty of hijab!

And I can ensure you that all the "guy-friends" I had were only my friends because I was pretty nothing more, wallahi. That's why in Islam, there's no such thing as "guy-friends" because in reality, Allah has made men to desire women. Yes, as a girl I thought of these "guy-friends" as my brothers (I thought guys were easier to talk to because girls were too much drama, lol). But know that our intention as girls are totally different from guys. You could want to just be friends, but in the guy's mind- he may want to be more than friends. I experienced this with many of the "guy-friends" I had at school. I'm not saying you cannot talk to men at all & that they must be shunned (there are certain limits we must not surpass- perhaps a Muslim brother is giving you Islamic advice, etc, so there shouldn't be any harm in that). I'm just saying we should be cautious because Shaytan is clever. He will try to turn something that we thought was little & innocent into something big & bad.

I say this out of love, my dear sister! I understand where you are coming from because there are times where I see girls showing their hair & I just wish I could do the same. Just to feel the wind blow through my hair...ahh. But this is what Shaytan wants. He wants us to stay away from doing good (Allah's commands) and go towards the evil. Don't let him take you over! As the brother mentioned in this forum- verse 216 from the 2nd chapter in the Quran "...it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not." Allah knows best and wants the best for you. He doesn't do anything to make you miserable. So you may not want to wear hijab...this is a desire of yours (& I'm surely many sisters feel the same way), but it's a desire that goes against what Allah commands of the believing women. Surely, there is no benefit that comes out from going against Allah's command.

Yes, hijab is a struggle...perhaps a jihad for some, but the reward is so much greater in this life and the next. Whereas, without hijab, some sheikhs go on to say that for every hair that it exposed on your head to the public- there is a sin. Can you imagine how many hairs we have on our head and how many sins that would be?! May Allah protect us from that. You can show your hair to your family and friends (girls, of course) though. And know that your hair may not be attractive to some, but it may be for others. Your brother may not think so simply because he wouldn't have a desire to like you in the way your non-maharam would.

Insha'Allah, I hope you'll understand! :) All these posts your brothers & sisters have left you are not meant to be mean or anything like that. We are just here to help you because we love you for the sake of Allah and want the best for you. I hope that you will make the right decision and I pray that Allah makes it easy for you.


Roaa_Ahmed said:
Assalamu'alikum
I'm a 16 year old girl and actually I've reached puberty about 3 years ago. However, I don't really want to wear Hijab. I just don't want to. I don't want to be like all of those girls who wear it (it's actually too mainstream in my country or city). Plus, when I was younger my mom always used to put my up hair in a ponytail for over 6 years while I've always wanted to get out this "ponytail-zone". And now when I'm finally out of the "ponytail-zone", I have to wear hijab. I just want to feel like creative with my hair, going out with it and having compliments for it, that's all I want. Yet at the same time, for sure, I'll be wearing modest clothes or just the same I would wear if I was wearing Hijab. Because I don't really see that my hair would be that much attracting for men, my brother doesn't think it's attractive nor even do my guy-friends. So what you girls think?? Also, I wanted to make sure of the concept that "You cannot wear Hijab until you want to otherwise it won't be accepted" because whenever I ask somebody they say yes it's true but never really give me proof.
Click to expand...
 
Abu Juwairiya

Abu Juwairiya

Junior Member
I realise this thread is largely meant for sisters, but I hope you will allow me to partake of a few words here. First, I would agree to wear the Hijab is a struggle and hides your beauty, but it also gives sisters a sense of empowerment, dignity, honour and is a symbol of chastity and respect.

While the Hijab to schoolchildren, college graduates and university students may be a little out of place, the rewards for adorning yourself with it are high, especially as we are all struggling with our own inner desires as well as external pressures, whether it be from peers, family or even Muslims who are against it.

The issue is what do you believe, do you want to wear it eventually and how comfortable will you be if you wear it in the company of practicing sisters and places where it needs to be worn such as the masjid, Islamic conferences, Umrah, Hajj and the like.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top