What will you do if your close friend turned her back from Islam

[Asmaa82]

Assalamu alaikum, brothers and sisters in Islam! I have something to ask you?

What will you do if your close friend turned her back from Islam?

I have this college friend. We are really close with each other. We share common interests. We also pray together. Then something happened. Their family had problems. Then she had a boyfriend. She kept it from me. I think she is just embarassed as a Muslim girl. She began avoiding me so I had no chance of talking to her about it. One day, I got a chance at last. I asked her to talk to me. She just cried and and told me about her problems. It went down to a point where she blamed Islam for allowing men to have multiple wives. She is so affected that her father is marrying another woman. I tried to make her understand but her mind is so clouded. That talk did not work. She is getting far. She stopped doing the salaat. She goes out with men, started to party and all that. I felt sad and kind of responsible for her as a friend. But what can I do. Then worst thing happened. She met this Born Again Christian pastor. And the next thing I know, she is reading Bibles and calling herself a born again christian. If I was shocked, you can just imagine her family's reaction. I was so disappointed not just with her but with me. I felt more guilty. But I cannot really talk to her. Even our other Muslim friends tried but you can just hate her when she explains why she did it. :astag:

So I hope you can share your ideas about what happened. Should I feel responsible and guilty? Should I continue being friends with her? I actually do, but I kind of don't trust her anymore. Did you have same experiences?

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: born again christians. Oh you can forget about her they are hardcore. all you can do is dua for her.

 

[junaid hasan]

try to have some contact with some pious sister s who will be able to give her all the answer of question. then bring her for a while to those sisters, hope its will work if she gets her result.THere are also a lot of convert sisters who has enough knowledge about both religion,Try to have contact with them. And make dua for her.What would she feel if her father didn´t maryy a woman and having relation with other woman like many christians are doing this? Islam didn´t command him to have 2 wives and its also not obligatory, islam is a religion where is a verse ´which give us advice if we cant give the right of wives we should not marry more then one.

 

[Raed]

I know this kind of people,
they just try to find any reason to turn there back from islam and have thier "fake"fun ....
just make dua for her, thats the least thing you can do

 

[OnlyOne]

Definetely still keep in contact with her. If you guys have been freinds for a while, InshaAllah you can influence her to get back on track with the true deen. Sincerely talk to her about this 'Born again Christian' faith and see what brings her to it. Think with an open mind and find a way to bring everything back to Islam. This is all happening because her father is marrying another wife? If it's doing this much to the family, then I don't think that father made the best decision. Why doesn't she talk to her father? What is his intention in marrying a second wife? What does her mother think about it? There's alot of issues here, and if you care enough, tackle them down one by one. Take it one day at a time, it'll take a while, but InshaAllah, she can be a Muslim again. Do du'a, for there is no help or power except Allah.

 

[ripefig]

:salam2:

Whom Allah guides there is non that can misguide them, and whom he leaves to go astray there is non that can guide them.

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

What i feel is that u need to do something . And it has to be fast..real fast before it can become worst
If advice doesnt work ...force her to meet an imam:angryred:

Dont worry , it is not your fault...

 

[mymohsin]

Assalamu alaikum, brothers and sisters in Islam! I have something to ask you?

What will you do if your close friend turned her back from Islam?

I have this college friend. We are really close with each other. We share common interests. We also pray together. Then something happened. Their family had problems. Then she had a boyfriend. She kept it from me. I think she is just embarassed as a Muslim girl. She began avoiding me so I had no chance of talking to her about it. One day, I got a chance at last. I asked her to talk to me. She just cried and and told me about her problems. It went down to a point where she blamed Islam for allowing men to have multiple wives. She is so affected that her father is marrying another woman. I tried to make her understand but her mind is so clouded. That talk did not work. She is getting far. She stopped doing the salaat. She goes out with men, started to party and all that. I felt sad and kind of responsible for her as a friend. But what can I do. Then worst thing happened. She met this Born Again Christian pastor. And the next thing I know, she is reading Bibles and calling herself a born again christian. If I was shocked, you can just imagine her family's reaction. I was so disappointed not just with her but with me. I felt more guilty. But I cannot really talk to her. Even our other Muslim friends tried but you can just hate her when she explains why she did it. :astag:

So I hope you can share your ideas about what happened. Should I feel responsible and guilty? Should I continue being friends with her? I actually do, but I kind of don't trust her anymore. Did you have same experiences?

Salam Sister,

At first i feel gr8 about u by cing ur concern towards ur friend masha allah she is lucky to have a friend like u one who think of her. Sister to my lil understanding I think that ur friend is passing through tough time of her life and I think at this stage she need a true friend and by keeping friendship with her then only u can stop her or bring her back to the path of truth if u avoid then may be she may forward herself more and more towards evil so by continuing friendship with her u can also explane her about Islam when and how man can go for next marrage. This what i think to my lil knowledge rest u and Allah know better as u there and facing the situation and knows about it properly. SISTER U NEVER FEEL ANY GUILTY ABOUT URSELF. Just try to bring her back or keep her to the path of truth and Insha Allah Allah will reward u beyound ur expectations both here and hereafter Insha allah.

Allah Hafiz.

 

[Oem Soufiane]

Ruqya:blackhijab:

 

[Globalpeace]

Dig deeper into the circumstances!

Asslamo Allaikum Sister,

Experience with these types of things! In which country specifically?

First and foremost we are in the west and she is quite free to do whatever she wants; therefore ramming choices down her throat won’t really work; and I am sure that you are not trying to do anything like that.

Boycotting her won't work either; although it does wonders to the ego’s of some brothers/sisters….look I am so goody goody I have broken relationship with an apostate! :angryred:

We (as Muslims) can’t leave our brothers/sisters in the lurch and should try our utmost to drag them out of darkness & into the light (i.e. Islam).

1) Make sincere dua for her, Insha’Allah and ask everyone.

2) Your only realistic choice is to standby her, comfort her, help her, talk to her about stuff that she needs. Try NOT to discuss Islam; rather maintain, foster and strengthen your relationship with her, Insha’Allah. Time will come when she will talk about Islam herself, Insha’Allah.

3) I have had some discussions with some knowledgeable brothers who prescribe Ruqya and I have reliably informed that there are EVIL people out there WHO ARE DOING THIS TO MUSLIMS i.e. black magic…I had a post on TTI about a brother who wanted to leave Islam and then within 3 days he is sweet as candy after the Shaykh prescribed him to listen to a CD with certain verses of the Qur’aan daily….3 days and his condition completely transformed!

I am NO expert on these things but I have seen it happen time and time again; I suggest that someone looked into some sinister motives from the family etc. as well.

Things are not always simple or readily explainable!

Jazakullah Khairun

P.S: My honest thoughts as usual; and others have the full right to disagree.

Assalamu alaikum, brothers and sisters in Islam! I have something to ask you?

What will you do if your close friend turned her back from Islam?

I have this college friend. We are really close with each other. We share common interests. We also pray together. Then something happened. Their family had problems. Then she had a boyfriend. She kept it from me. I think she is just embarassed as a Muslim girl. She began avoiding me so I had no chance of talking to her about it. One day, I got a chance at last. I asked her to talk to me. She just cried and and told me about her problems. It went down to a point where she blamed Islam for allowing men to have multiple wives. She is so affected that her father is marrying another woman. I tried to make her understand but her mind is so clouded. That talk did not work. She is getting far. She stopped doing the salaat. She goes out with men, started to party and all that. I felt sad and kind of responsible for her as a friend. But what can I do. Then worst thing happened. She met this Born Again Christian pastor. And the next thing I know, she is reading Bibles and calling herself a born again christian. If I was shocked, you can just imagine her family's reaction. I was so disappointed not just with her but with me. I felt more guilty. But I cannot really talk to her. Even our other Muslim friends tried but you can just hate her when she explains why she did it. :astag:

So I hope you can share your ideas about what happened. Should I feel responsible and guilty? Should I continue being friends with her? I actually do, but I kind of don't trust her anymore. Did you have same experiences?

 

[shichemlydia]

reply...

:salam2: sister,
first i want just to say that when islam allowed the man to marry more than woman, it is supposed to be known for the first wife and moreover, he should treat then equally, else; problems will occur of course,
second, what happened is what we call (balae) assessment from allah to examine our imane, and the strong mouman always withsand and accout his or her reward on allah.
some people around this world are assessed more severly than this and they withstand the problems until allah make the situation better,
in addition, do you think what you friend did can solve the problem, of course not it will make worse and worse,
what can i advise you to do is to keep trying with hern it is not late, may allah lead her again to the right path,
:salam2:

 

[junaid hasan]

To have relation with more then one wife is not related with islam, its related with the nature of mankind(man). But islam give a proper way to control the social system.More then 50 % people of europe and america are allready divorced and have their 2 nd wife(3 wife?, 4 wife?, having ONS with a lot of women?).IF she thinks that her father may be allowed to divorce her mother first then marry a new woman thats something another topics which is not related with islam.But i think her problem is that her father has 2 wives at the same time and she thinks its only because of islam.what about her new Reiligion? just have a look at this website and show her how bible allows tthe polygamy.http://www.answering-christianity.com/ntpoly.htm

Please don't forget to visit the Christian sites that agree with Polygamy in the New Testament that which is linked to at the end of this page.

 

[Imad]

Assalmoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

Like some brothers and sisters have said, keep your relationship with her. If you are able to have a positive influence on her keep the good work, but If you see she is influencing you don't stay with her. If she is pulling you to go with her to the pastor, don't go with her. Only if you have enough knowledge of islam and you are very stable. But it's better not to go.

I'am sure her knowledge about islam is very low. What you have to do is increasing her knowledge. Like some brothers and sisters have said take her with you to the imam or sisters who are knowledgeable.

Take care sister

Wassalamoalaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

Imad

 

[Asmaa82]

Definetely still keep in contact with her. If you guys have been freinds for a while, InshaAllah you can influence her to get back on track with the true deen. Sincerely talk to her about this 'Born again Christian' faith and see what brings her to it. Think with an open mind and find a way to bring everything back to Islam. This is all happening because her father is marrying another wife? If it's doing this much to the family, then I don't think that father made the best decision. Why doesn't she talk to her father? What is his intention in marrying a second wife? What does her mother think about it? There's alot of issues here, and if you care enough, tackle them down one by one. Take it one day at a time, it'll take a while, but InshaAllah, she can be a Muslim again. Do du'a, for there is no help or power except Allah.

Thanks for the reply.

Well, I do still keep in contact with her. But with what she did I feel I cannot really trust her again. We talk but when we talk about religion, everything just heats up.. We end up fighting. You are right, there are a lot of issues to be tackled. Which I don't think I can bear. She cannot talk to her father because she is banned from her family already. I even offered our home thinking we could help her. She declined. You can just think where she went.

I almost tried to drag her to meet my father(he is an Imam). After several attempts, it is my father who does not want to meet her already .

mymohsin, thanks for what you said: SISTER U NEVER FEEL ANY GUILTY ABOUT URSELF.

RUQYA? What is that? :shymuslima1: Sorry... Should I try that? Globalpeace I will search for your post in a minute.

shichemlydia, I actually verified that with my father and then tried to explain to that friend of mine but ahhhh..... she doesn't understand. I don't know. Maybe she is just in pain too much that is why she doesn't accept explaination.

junaid hasan, thanks for the link. that is so helpful. i will read that later. i cannot access it from my work computer.

"Imad
Assalmoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

Like some brothers and sisters have said, keep your relationship with her. If you are able to have a positive influence on her keep the good work, but If you see she is influencing you don't stay with her. If she is pulling you to go with her to the pastor, don't go with her. Only if you have enough knowledge of islam and you are very stable. But it's better not to go. "

Exactly! She did invited me once to their praying place. Guess what. I went with her. Just to show her how open am I to anything and how strong my faith is. When I entered there, their faces are so trying hard. You know what I mean. They are all trying hard to look kind. They even introduced me to few women claiming to be ex-Muslims. What a shame. There are a lot of things they say against the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh). You will really know how strayed they are from the right path.

Alright, you may also hate me for not really defending Islam, as my father scolded me. I pleaded guilty. But I'm just caught off-guard from all of them.


It is really bugging me. Thanks for all that you said. :muslim_child:

 

[Abdul Hasib]

I think I've heard of a same story about a Muslimah becoming Chrisitan in Thailand.

 

[truesuccess]

You are not responsible at all

Assalamu alaikum,

Should I feel responsible and guilty? Should I continue being friends with her? I actually do, but I kind of don't trust her anymore.

You are not responsible at all, but at the same time you should try your best to save her from HELL FIRE before worst thing happens. You should discuss this with your friends and collegues, scholar peoples, imams .. Rest of the things ALLAH knows best.

May ALLAH help her and save her from the HELL FIRE


Wassalam

 

[mymohsin]

Salam Sister,

You are welcome sister and sister about what u said they have introduce u to some womens saying X muslims damn crap i know that i have also met with one here and when i asked them ok nice to meet u can u pls tell me what u know about ISLAM and what are the thing u didnt like in it then belive me he was unable to speak any thing and said to me that his father was muslim and he was born and broughtup in church damn crap all lies and if at all also any one convert from islam to any thing else I say u sis they dont know Islam and they are not following it truly just for some material gain they get changed. So dont take any impreassion on by cing that and Masha Allah nice to know about ur father IMAM masha allah tell him to be remember me in his duwas.

Jazak Allah.

 

[OnlyOne]

Thanks for the reply.

Well, I do still keep in contact with her. But with what she did I feel I cannot really trust her again. We talk but when we talk about religion, everything just heats up.. We end up fighting. You are right, there are a lot of issues to be tackled. Which I don't think I can bear. She cannot talk to her father because she is banned from her family already. I even offered our home thinking we could help her. She declined. You can just think where she went.

I almost tried to drag her to meet my father(he is an Imam). After several attempts, it is my father who does not want to meet her already

This is a very straining situation. If she doesn't want to talk to you about it, don't force it. Why do your conversations get heated up? Don't always try the debate approach, sometimes just listen and if you do that, it'll help the other person take in what you say. Don't be ready to jump on everything she says and still respect her. This way, she'll take your words more seriously.

 

[Oem Soufiane]

I know a girl like this, and she went to a ruqiya sesion after numerou s times of not listening to sisters, it apeared she was possesed by 2 djinns, people in this state don't want to deal with muslims because the djinns can threaten her or drive her crazy, I think it is very dumb that the family already gave her up. and her father is imaam, didn't he try ruqiya? Don't abandon her, if she is with you play some quran and see what happens, if she starts to act crazy, make shure she gets ruqiya.

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I think me & the Sister are repeating ourselves here; I also have had some experiences with other people...

Most defintely try the stuff in BOLD and watch her reaction...

I know a girl like this, and she went to a ruqiya sesion after numerou s times of not listening to sisters, it apeared she was possesed by 2 djinns, people in this state don't want to deal with muslims because the djinns can threaten her or drive her crazy, I think it is very dumb that the family already gave her up. and her father is imaam, didn't he try ruqiya? Don't abandon her, if she is with you play some quran and see what happens, if she starts to act crazy, make shure she gets ruqiya.[/QUOTE]