What would you do in this situation?

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by slaveofAllah88, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. ansari
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    ansari STRANGER...

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    :salam2: my dear akhi :D

    Lets start with the basics

    Fist of all i would like you remind myself and all my brothers :) and sisters :)that..WHO ARE WE ??? very easy question.. who are we? ..WE ARE MUSLIMS. muslim means one who submits to the will of ALLAH. we submit to ALLAH even if its against our own will, we give up wat we want for the sake of ALLAH. we are slave of ALLAH. we dont change islam to fit in ourself, we change our self to fit in islam. Islam does NOT revolve around our lives. Our lives MUST revolve around ISLAM :)

    akhi shaheer :) .. even i faced the same problem.. alhumdulillah my family also muslim but sometimes i do feel like a stranger..because im the only one in my family with a beard... bro :D i would like to highlight some points which will make u happy :D inshallah :) ...


    Muslim reported on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (ra) who said that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said:
    ''Islam began as something strange, and it shall return to being something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers.''

    Abdullah ibn Masud, said: "the Prophet (saw) said 'Islam began as something strange, and it will revert to being strange as it was in the beginning, so good tidings for the strangers.' Some asked, 'Who are the strangers?' He said, 'The ones who break away from their people (literally, 'tribes') for the sake of Islam.'" (Sahih Muslim, Ibn Majah)

    On the authority of Ibn 'Umar, radiyallahu 'anhuma, who said: The Messenger of Allah :saw:, took me by the shoulder and said:

    "Be in this world as though you were a stranger or a traveler/wayfarer."
    Ibn 'Umar used to say:
    "When evening comes, do not expect (to live till) morning, and when morning comes, do not expect (to live till) evening. Take from your health (a preparation) for your illness, and from your life for your death."
    [Al-Bukhari]



    ya akhi shaheer we are the stangers :D

    And when Prophet :saw2: who was well known to his people, we was known
    Al Ameen (trustworthy) and Al Sadiq (truthful). when Muhammad :saw2: started his mission by calling people to islam, to worship only one GOD. that day Muhammad :saw2: became a stranger.

    dear akhi :). Muhammad :saw: and his companions(r.a) sacrificed their everything they had for the sake of ALLAH. bro think..WHO IS OUR CREATOR? ALLAH IS OUR CREATOR. ALLAH CREATED WHAT IS IN THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH. ALLAH TAKE CARE OF US. EVERYTHING WE HAVE, ALLAH GAVE US.

    ALLAH says :- [​IMG]
    If ye would count up the favours of Allah, never would ye be able to number them: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (16:18)

    we muslims commit sins day and night.. and still we see so many favours of ALLAH. The Favours of Allah on us are Enormous !!!

    my dear akhi :) then why to disobey ALLAH and Muhammad:saw:
    first we should obey ALLAH and Muhammad :saw:

    ALLAH says:-[​IMG]
    He who obeys the Apostle, obeys Allah: But if any turn away, We have not sent thee to watch over their (evil deeds). (surah an Nisa :verse 80)

    Allah warns us not to go against the Prophet (peace be upon him), and states that whoever disobeys him will be doomed to eternal Hell. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “...And let those who oppose the Messenger’s commandment beware, lest some fitnah (trial, affliction, etc.) befall them or a painful torment be inflicted on them.” [24:63]


    (surah al imran: verse 31) Say: "If ye do love Allah, Follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."



    (1) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said "I have no connection iwth one who shaves, shouts and tears his clothing eg. in grief or affication."
    - Reported by Abu Darda (R.A.) in Muslim, Hadith no. 501

    (2) Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Umar (R.A.) relates that: "He who imitates the kuffar (non-believers) and dies in that state, he will be raised up with them on the Day of Qiyamat (Judgement)."

    (3) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) says: "Trim closely the moustache, and let the beard flow (Grow)."
    - Narrated Ibn Umar (R.A.) in Muslim, Hadith no. 498

    (4) "Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) ordered us to trim the moustache closely and spare the beard" says Ibn Umar.
    - Muslim, Hadith no. 449


    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    A List of Violations

    a). A Disobedience to Allah
    Shaving the beard is a disobedience to Allah . The ruler of Yemen, appointed by the Persian emperor Kisraa, sent two envoys to the Messenger:saw: to summon him. When they came into his presence, he noticed that they had shaved their beards and grew their moustaches. He hated to look at them (because of their odd appearance) and he said: Woe be to you, who told you to do so? They replied: "Our lord! (referring to Kisraa.)" The Messenger :saw: then said:
    But my Lord, may He be exalted and glorified, has commanded me to leave alone my beard and to trim my moustache. [Recorded by Ibn Jar r a-abar , and judged to be Hasan (good) by al-Albani.]


    b. A Disobedience To the Messenger:saw:

    Shaving the beard is a disobedience to the Messenger:saw: . In many hadiths, the Messenger:saw: commanded men to leave alone their beards. These different hadiths have a similar meaning:

    Trim the moustache and save the beard. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

    Obeying the Messenger:saw: in that is equivalent to obeying Allah

    He who obeys the Messenger has indeed obeyed Allah. [An-Nisaa 4:80]

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    ya akhi :) .. First u hav to obey ALLAH and Muhammad:saw: then your parents. :subhanallah: today's jummah kutbah was about parents :) .. sheikh said even if your parents tell you to disobey ALLAH then also you should be nice with them, dont even say UF! but you should not be disobeying ALLAH and Muhammad:saw: and obeying your parents. Parents tell you cut your beard. tell them its WAJIB :) with a smile :) . akhi u said ur mom get angry..talk to your mom in very polite way :) ( i hav mentioned some imp points..above.. tell her all those imp points :) ) ... if your mom tell you to shave that ugly beard. tell her mama..im not cutting for the sake of ALLAH :D (wit a smile. akhi :) .. my dad n brother also don't like me to come in front of their friends ( u saw me rite...i mean my beard.. many brother at masjid say that i hav a beautiful beard :D..u also said :) )... and our mothers fear that no woman will marry because of our beard.. we should tell our mom that what kind of a woman wants her husband to look like another woman :lol: (heard this frm a sheikh)

    “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)” [ 2:155]

    “And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone).” [ 51:56]


    ALLAH KNOWS BEST..

    May Allah guide us to abide by His Deen, and to adhere to His Messenger's Sunnah, and to be among those whom he blessed in both lives.

    JAZAKALLAH KHAIR
  2. ansari
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    ansari STRANGER...

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    The Strangers - Ibrahim Dremali
    brother u must listen to this lecture :D



    [yt]RuIbdrnWy9c[/yt]
  3. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:
    :) mashallah sis ur post put a big smile on my face, and i agree with u but the thing is .... im not that stupid to fall into those traps like i dont meet with weird ppl i barely know many muslims in real life cuz my city there aren't many muslims ppl most of my friends are white ....
    about other western stuff :) i lived here alot of my life and i know wat ppl do at my age and those things u r referring to aint one of them .... I do have western interest too :) its not like i dont do that but i rather maintain my islamic learning and learn more about my deen than do other stuff :)
    :lol: @ funky hair

    and u r right i didn't point at ur parents btw

    JazakAllah khair sister for that beautiful response, :) actually i have already did that i had a long long talk with her, i gave her books, showed her hadith and videos and she didn't say anything for couple of days but again she started and she says im only 21 so im too young for all that

    sis the main reason is as brother Podolski described below is it effects their status in society, cuz everyone makes fun of ppl with long beard in Pak, they call them maulvi which means imam but im not sure why it has become a word of disgrace due to the actions of some maulvi.
    I feel like its just embarrasing for her and from her style of talking , and since im the oldest son, she wants to marry me to some high society girl who has really high status , probably no religious values for for alot of pakistanis u pray ok thats good enough, no concept of hijab really exist so i feel like thats why she is so mad
  4. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:

    i know sister, she is not angry but her fear comes down as anger , i guess it hurts more cuz i have always loved her so much and she has always supported me and now she is not ... and i guess she feels weird too cuz im not listenning to her in something the 1st time.
    I know sis she is afraid that something bad will happen to me in this non muslim country or even in muslim countries but i cant live like a shameful Muslim im a proud muslim

    i have tried to convince that but she is a mother i guess and she cant bear to see me in a bad state
  5. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2: ansari bhai

    u know wat u said really touched my heart, Thank U so much Inshallah i will commit to memory these things inshallah i will try so i can better answer what everyone says against me but this was such a beautiful detailed reply akhi

    May Allah (swt) reward u for every breathe u take and every breathe i take as well - ameen
  6. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:
    brother, JazakAllah khair for the answer

    I understand ur logic, but its not a good logic ... cuz if someone does backbiting u cant tell him oh u r backbiting stop being a muslim cuz u r not representing islam properly.....
    similarity someone believes in ALlah (swt) but doesn't pray, well atleast he got something so inshallah may AllaH (swt) bring hiim closer to islam

    and i we all say that no we cant grow beard cuz we are not good enough to represent islam well .... we just commited sin by ignoring one of the things wajib in islam ...
    im sorry to disagree brother :) hope u dont mind
  7. allah is with me
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    allah is with me Rabana Wa laqal Hamd

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    look brother your doing all this just to be close to allah right?....
    see, try explaining your mother, if she does not agree..
    then shave it off...
    see ! you love growin beard but your mom does not...
    now, dont go against her will...
    shave it off if your mother does not like it...
    just for her happiness...
    and allah will give you so much ajar for that...
    muhammad (s.a.w) itself has said that ' mother comes three times and father comes 1 time'...
    so, listen to your mom...
    and growin beard is sunnah! alhamdulillah..
    but your mother does not want it right?...
    so stop growin it....
    allah knows your heart, your intention...
    so he knows how much you love you beard..
    but just for your mom , stop it...
    you will get rewarded so much for obeying your mom, and even struggling for beard..
    you really did jihaad bro...
    congrats...
    plz listen to your mom..
  8. slave_of_Allah
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    slave_of_Allah Junior Member

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    I would like to mention that you forgot that Allah comes before your parents. To remove the beard isn't going to please Allah, on the day of judgement, no one will help you, not your parents, no one!! A reminder to all.
  9. slave_of_Allah
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    Akhi, this is the true jihad, and you are very blessed to be in this testing sitation. Never remove the beard, I know you won't, alhamduillah you seem very strong, and i pray that you continue to be strong.

    Be patient, and always very kind to your mother, and make du'a that Allah guides your parents. Akhi, understand this. You can become very close to Allah, so take advantage, and keep praying, for there is no better help.

    There is so much we can say, but what can we do? Nothing. Only Allah is The One that can make it easy for you, so turn to Him, and keep asking Him for help, because He is The Only One that gets you through the day.

    Ya Allah You have chosen this brother to be close to You, to receive many rewards, then let him not go astray, and make him one of those who is patient, so You can give him jannah, and let him understand, and contemplate how much You love him, because You have put him in a difficult time, only because You can give him food, and water from jannah, so You can address him as one of the people of paradise. Ya Allah help this soul to become grateful, and let him be one of those who will stand in Your shade. Aameen!!!!!!!!
  10. allah is with me
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    allah is with me Rabana Wa laqal Hamd

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    sister!...
    allah surely comes first..
    but growin beard is not fard upon brothers , it is only sunnah!..
    and when it is sunnah! and still someones mother does not want it to be then..
    then obey your mother, dont go against her will, and wish..

    why do you want to hurt your mother, when it is not fard(obligatory),by going against her wishes?...
    sister if i am wrong then plz correct me...
  11. BrotherInIslam7
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    BrotherInIslam7 La Illaha Illa Allah Staff Member

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    :salam2:

    dear sister allah is with me, I think you are getting confused a bit. Let me try my best to clarify.

    The *source* of the ruling/command to let the beard grow has come from the Prophet's Sunnah but the *obligation* is fardh (obligatory).

    Some scholars have even gone to a level to call the one who shaves the hair off the cheek and chin a 'faasiq'.

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Trim your moustaches and let your beards grow.”

    After we have a hadeeth so clear as this, we don't have any room for any another opinion as the commands of this hadeeth is very straight forward.

    Also with regards to parents, we are ordered to obey them as long as they don't go against the deen. But if they tell us to do something contrary to the deen, then we disobey them.. you may ask why ?

    Because in such a case, if you obey your parents and go against the deen, then your parents will be answerable for that sin also. So in this case by disobeying your parents, you are protecting them from sin. SubhanAllah !!

    :wasalam:
  12. slave_of_Allah
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    Allah comes before your parents.
  13. slave_of_Allah
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    Subhana'Alah my dear akhi has answered what i was about to say. Jazka'Allah khair. I pray Allah makes you one of those who we enter jannah tul firdos, without any questioning. Ya Allah help this soul to come closer to you, and forgive his sins and his family, and give him the ability to weep in Your rememberance, so with every tear he sheds, he becomes closer to You, and let him stand in Your shade. Ya Allah always keep this soul in Your rememberance. Aameen!!!
  14. allah is with me
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    allah is with me Rabana Wa laqal Hamd

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    i never knew it is fard......
    well, brother now i am totally confused...
    well..
    okay let shaheer grow his beard....
    else i dont know ,allah knows better...
    thanks for correcting..
    jasakallah khair..
  15. BrotherInIslam7
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    Ya sister.. you really make beautiful duas.. I can only wish that I can make duas like that.. :)

    May Allah swt bless and reward you for being kind to all of here. Ameen

    May Allah swt grant you the best in the dunya and Al Akhirah. Ameen

    May Allah swt guide you towards actions that please his majesty and keep you in his protection always. Ameen

    Ya Zal Jalali Wal Ikram, make everything easy for our dear sister and guide her to the righteous path & reward her with Jannatul firdaus. Allahuma Ameen

    Rabbana wa taqabal dua. :)

    :wasalam:
  16. Seeking Allah's Mercy
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    salam2:
    :) mashallah sis ur post put a big smile on my face, and i agree with u but the thing is .... im not that stupid to fall into those traps like i dont meet with weird ppl i barely know many muslims in real life cuz my city there aren't many muslims ppl most of my friends are white ....
    about other western stuff :) i lived here alot of my life and i know wat ppl do at my age and those things u r referring to aint one of them .... I do have western interest too :) its not like i dont do that but i rather maintain my islamic learning and learn more about my deen than do other stuff :)
    :lol: @ funky hair

    and u r right i didn't point at ur parents btw



    good to kno it made u happy:SMILY149:................i never said u were stupid :SMILY153:i just meant may b ur mom thinks like that.what i meant by western stuff was to show her u are still in ur senses :SMILY129:,not like those pppl who are extremists............u do that then its good,(i was just givin u som ideas i wasn't saying u didn't knew what boys do.) :rolleyes:

    seems like things still are going the wrong way around b/w u nd ur mother:SMILY45::tantrum1:..............i was just thinking.is their somone in ur relatives who will appreciate what r doing and is influential on ur mom:SMILY105:.............meaning someone ur mom listens :SMILY126:to and understands.like some aunt ,uncle etc.may b u could talk to them and they'll help ur mom realize what u r doing needs no bugging.:SMILY29:

    and even if that is ruled out either by you or her:SMILY29:.then just put ur heart and soul in dua:tti_sister:.pour ur heart out to Allah .and their is no doubt He'll show u a way where u will b happy with ur mom by your side:laughing-dancing::dishes::jumpclap:.inshallah

    :wasalam::SMILY259:
  17. umm hussain
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    Asalam alaikum warahmatullah

    Question:
    I am a young Muslim and I want to let my beard grow, but my father is strongly opposed to this. Should I let my beard grow or obey my parents?

    Answer:Shaving the beard is haraam, and it is not permissible to do it for a parent or leader or boss, because obedience is only a duty in matters that are good and righteous. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being (person) if it involves disobedience to the Creator.”

    Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 5/146
    The end

    And for those who think growing the beard is optional
    Praise be to Allaah.

    Firstly:

    Shaving the beard is haraam, as is shortening it and reducing it, because of the evidence which shows that it is obligatory to leave it alone and let it grow.

    It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (5/133): Shaving the beard is haraam because of the saheeh ahaadeeth and reports that have been narrated concerning that, and because of the general meaning of the texts that forbid resembling the kuffaar, including the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar, which says that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Be different from the mushrikeen; let your beards grow and trim your moustaches.” According to another report: “trim your moustaches and let your beards grow.” And there are other, similar ahaadeeth. Letting the beard grow means leaving it as it is and not shaving it, or plucking or cutting any part of it. Ibn Hazm narrated that there was scholarly consensus that trimming the moustache and letting the beard grow is obligatory, and he quoted as evidence a number of ahaadeeth, including the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) quoted above, and the hadeeth of Zayd ibn Arqam, according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does not trim his moustache is not one of us.” Classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi. It says in al-Furoo’: According to our companions – the Hanbalis – this indicates that it is haraam.

    Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The Qur’aan, Sunnah and scholarly consensus indicate that we are commanded to be different from the kuffaar and that it is forbidden to resemble them in general terms, because resembling them outwardly may cause us to resemble them in attitude and doing blameworthy deeds and even in beliefs. It generates love and friendship inwardly, just as inward love generates outward resemblance. Al-Tirmidhi narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who imitates people other than us; do not imitate the Jews and the Christians.” According to another report: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Narrated by Imam Ahmad. And ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab rejected the testimony of a man who plucked his beard.

    Imam Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said in al-Tamheed: It is haraam to shave the beard, and no one does that but effeminate men, meaning those who imitate women. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had a thick beard, as was narrated by Muslim from Jaabir and in other reports. And it is not permissible to remove anything from it because of the general meaning of the evidence that shows that that is not allowed. End quote.

    Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the ruling on one who makes the ends of his beard even?

    He said: What is required is to leave the beard alone and let it grow, and not to do anything to it, because it is proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Trim the moustache and let the beard grow; be different from the mushrikeen.” Saheeh – agreed upon. Narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him). And al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated in his Saheeh from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Trim the moustache and let the beard grow; be different from the mushrikeen.” Muslim narrated in his Saheeh from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Cut the moustache and let the beard grow; be different from the Magians.”

    All these ahaadeeth indicate that it is obligatory to leave the beard alone and let it grow, and to trim the moustache. This is what is prescribed in Islam, and this is what is obligatory, as taught and enjoined by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). This is following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them), and differing from the mushrikeen, and avoiding resembling them or resembling women.

    With regard to the report narrated by al-Tirmidhi (may Allaah have mercy on him) which says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to remove something from the length and breadth of his beard, this is a false report according to the scholars, and it is not a saheeh report from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Some people insisted on using this hadeeth as evidence, but it is not a saheeh report, because its isnaad includes ‘Umar ibn Haroon al-Balkhi, who is accused of lying.

    So it is not permissible for a believer to follow this false hadeeth, or to use as a concession that which was said by some scholars, for the Sunnah is binding upon us all, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “He who obeys the Messenger (Muhammad), has indeed obeyed Allaah”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:80]

    “Say: Obey Allaah and obey the Messenger, but if you turn away, he (Messenger Muhammad) is only responsible for the duty placed on him (i.e. to convey Allaah’s Message) and you for that placed on you. If you obey him, you shall be on the right guidance. The Messenger’s duty is only to convey (the message) in a clear way (i.e. to preach in a plain way)”

    [al-Noor 24:54]

    “O you who believe! Obey Allaah and obey the Messenger (Muhammad), and those of you (Muslims) who are in authority. (And) if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allaah and His Messenger, if you believe in Allaah and in the Last Day. That is better and more suitable for final determination”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:59]

    And Allaah is the Source of strength. End quote from Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh ibn Baaz (4/443).

    Secondly:

    It is not permissible for your boss to order you to reduce your beard, because this is an order to commit sin, as explained above, and you have no right to obey him. Rather what you must do is be patient and explain the shar’i ruling to him. If he insists on his opinion, and letting your beard grow means that you will lose your job, it depends on your situation and your work. If you can find another job, then leave this one, seeking the pleasure of Allaah. If you cannot find another job, then we hope that you will be forgiven if you reduce your beard, because the scholars have stated that it is permissible to do a haraam action in causes of necessity and extreme need, so long as you limit yourself to the minimum of reducing it that will please your boss. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can”

    [al-Taghaabun 64:16]
  18. tdubai
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    tdubai New Member

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    Well when my mom started the criticisme about my beard,I told her if she doesn't like to see me with a beard why didn't she made me a girl!! she laughed out loud and said"you ahve always something to say" now it's not only that she doesn't say anything about it,but I made her change her perciption.
  19. tdubai
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    tdubai New Member

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    I can't believe you are grown up enough to have a beard.Life is full of surprises isn't it??
  20. podolski11
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    podolski11 PAIN

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    LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLL...........i cant stop laughing...ur quite the clown i need to cool off :p

    jazakalla firdous for the laugh

    :hearts::hearts::hearts:

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