Why many muslims prefer housewife?

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Summer03

3doTs2sQuares
Asalmu alaikum....

Good posts, wonderful comebacks and replies and opinions.

When you look at it, being a housewife is one of the toughest, If not the toughest career or job or whatever you want to call it. Unlike being a teacher or doctor or engineer or accountant or nurse etc etc etc, it does not come with a manual or a guidebook to tell you what to do when you're kids are fighting or when you can figure out how to say no. You have to make your own rules and problem solving strategies. This is something that I think Allah swt blessed women when creating them, the ability to be so motherly and to be a teacher and to be a mediator and a nurse when the kids need to be taken care of after a small accident. There are profound ways of the blessings of being a housewife! ALL without having to get an education to become a pro

(I'm not saying not educate yourselves, be the best you be!


Salam
 

HIBBA2009

Daughter of Adam
I just dont understand why women can not drive in Saudi, where on earth did they come up with that from? would those who initiated that rule prefer a strange male chauffer to drive the females around rather that the females themselves driving or having a female chauffer another female?!

its so pathetic

Asalamalikum sister hana

yes this is soo sad women cannot drive in saudia arabia:(.......this is not fair:D:D but this is a law of saudia arabia that women cannot drive in this country becoz saudis think that if women will drive they will not catch her n they will also go with non-muhraams n also gonna out of control with his hands:D becoz the main reason saudi men don't beilive in his wives...so i think thats the reason that king of saudia arabia cannot allow the women to drive.......
 

hana*

Junior Member
Asalmu alaikum....

Good posts, wonderful comebacks and replies and opinions.

When you look at it, being a housewife is one of the toughest, If not the toughest career or job or whatever you want to call it. Unlike being a teacher or doctor or engineer or accountant or nurse etc etc etc, it does not come with a manual or a guidebook to tell you what to do when you're kids are fighting or when you can figure out how to say no. You have to make your own rules and problem solving strategies. This is something that I think Allah swt blessed women when creating them, the ability to be so motherly and to be a teacher and to be a mediator and a nurse when the kids need to be taken care of after a small accident. There are profound ways of the blessings of being a housewife! ALL without having to get an education to become a pro

(I'm not saying not educate yourselves, be the best you be!


Salam

thats so beautifully put sis :)
 

hana*

Junior Member
Asalamalikum sister hana

yes this is soo sad women cannot drive in saudia arabia:(.......this is not fair:D:D but this is a law of saudia arabia that women cannot drive in this country becoz saudis think that if women will drive they will not catch her n they will also go with non-muhraams n also gonna out of control with his hands:D becoz the main reason saudi men don't beilive in his wives...so i think thats the reason that king of saudia arabia cannot allow the women to drive.......


they will not catch her? arent the women already chauffered (at times) by non-mahrams? i think its used as a mere excuse to enhance male superiority and dominance there!
 

ShyHijabi

Junior Member
:salam2:,

my post was not intented for those needy sisters who have to work due to financial problems. may Allah make things easy for them. Ameen.

my post was basically for those muslim sisters who works for no serious need they have everything. their desire of self-respect and personal money overrules family and children. plus *many* (not all) wear full make-up and tight clothes, with flirting eyes they arrive at office. this is wht creates fitnah.

Please point out where there is enough female doctors, nurses, accountants, etc., in any country for Muslim females? Because there is a serious need for more females in the workforce for female Muslims. I live in a heavily populated city but still can only find a non-Muslim OBGYN and have to ake sure they only give me a female in her practice. (it is a group practive with male doctors)

There are two parts of avoidance of fitnah written about in the Quran. The first part is a command to LOWER THE GAZE and the second command is for the women to draw their jilbabs around their bosom. No where does it say women should stay locked up in their houses like caged birds. Islam teaches that women have the right to go unmolested and about their business, that we are not objects to be posessed. But too many times I read men instructing women to stay in their homes at all cost and not have jobs. I've even read men here who say women should only be taught simple arithematic and basic literacy so as to keep them simple. :astag:

Women ARE equal but different than men. Our minds and cognition are vastly different from males. Science has shown that women are better multitaskers and have much more effective communication whereas males have the ability to stay focused longer on single tasks and compartmentalize their thought process. One is not superior to the other and comparing them is like comparing an apple to a garden hose.

Please remember that Rasool (peace be upon him) stated that Kadijah's wealth made the spread of Islam possible in the beginning. She was a bussines woman and extremely educated for a woman of her time. While she lived our Prophet took no other wife and said she had no equal. (a good model for those brothers who wish to remain monogamous) She is one of the mothers of the believers and I think an exceptional example for Muslim women to look towards.
 

AichaBen

New Member
Salam

However, if all women stayed at home as housewives, then men would be teaching your daughters...then men would be delivering your babies and doing gyno checks on your wives and daughters....then men would be measuring your wives and daughters for clothing....then they would HAVE to speak to men in grocery stores, restaurants, taxis, schools, universities, police stations, etc.

See where I am going here?

As a side note, Kuwait is introducing "Eve Taxis" soon, which will be pink taxis with female drivers for ladies only. If there are no lady taxi drivers, your wives & daughters would have to ride with male taxi drivers. http://www.thenational.ae/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100120/FOREIGN/701199920/1040


Indeed that's abselutly true thanks for pointing that out!!
 

justoneofmillion

Junior Member
:salam2:,

I suppose it is relative to individual cases.However there is a certain looking down upon housewives in western society nowadays,there is no compensation or whatsoever for women who decide to stay home and take care of the children no recognition or very little in the society for these full time working houswives!As if it was some sort of handicap or shame.

It is a tough job and a "contributing" one to the growth of any society, especially when you take a look at the alarming birth rate statistics in most preindustrialized countries.. one working tax payer is paying for two retirees...etc.
Low Birth Rate Has Economic Consequences, Professor Gary Becker Warns

Changing fertility rates will have a significant effect on the economic future of several countries, according to Gary Becker, Nobel laureate and University Professor of Economics and of Sociology.

Becker, a pioneer in economic research on the family, spoke at the inaugural conference hosted by the Milton Friedman Institute for Research in Economics at the University of Chicago’s Hyde Park campus on February 28. The two-day event focused on “New Economics of the Family.”

Becker said, “The thing I found—and the literature continues to find—is that the main challenge to understanding the family is the high degree of interdependency of its parts,” he said. “This makes empirical work very hard. The cleverness of many of the papers today was that they used reasonable ways to isolate various components of the problem.”

Although Becker praised the research presented, he offered a suggestion for a new direction: research on fertility. In particular, no speakers tackled the revolution in below replacement fertility, or the dramatic increase since 1970 in the number of women in the world with fertility rates of less than 2.1 children, he said.

The number of people living in countries with below replacement fertility went from 8 percent in 1970 to almost half of the world’s population today, Becker said. China accounts for 40 percent of today’s BRF numbers, but 40 countries in Europe are also represented, as well as many other countries in Asia, he said.

“Once a country gets into the ‘low replacement fertility club,’ it doesn’t leave – with very few exceptions,” Becker said. “This seems to be a very important trend. The questions worth addressing about this are what are the consequences of this for the family, what are the consequences of this for the economy, and what are the consequences of the economy for fertility?”

With above replacement fertility for 150 years, many programs were instituted that worked well in growing populations, including pay-as-you-go Social Security and Medicare, he said. “Basically both of these systems tax the young to pay for the old,” Becker said. “But it’s getting harder and harder to do that. For example, Japan is facing a real problem. The population is getting older and there are fewer young people. Germany, Russia, and a number of other countries are facing this problem, as well.”

Immigration relieves some of the problem, leading many countries, especially in Western Europe, to reconsider limits on immigration, he said. Other effects of this shift include an increase in the earnings of younger workers, increase in investments in higher education, an increase in the bargaining power of women for marriage, and a decline in returns on research and development and other economy-of-scale activities, Becker said.

Meanwhile, future research should consider whether forces will eventually restore fertility rates, he said. “It’s not obvious what those forces are,” he said. “I’ve thought a while about this. You can create models where the fertility rates are brought up, but I don’t know how attractive they are. Rising wages, technological improvements, income and substitution effects, divorce rates, labor force participation of women, and other variables may influence the level of fertility. I’m not sure of the answer, but an extremely important question is, can we rem
http://www.chicagobooth.edu/news/2009-02-28-becker-mfi.aspx

Let us say that both working and non working women are honorable in the same way and they equally deserve the same amount of recognition and respect in the society through, it s medias,trends or whatever other mean of folks opinion building.

Here is an interesting analysis on some of the consequences regarding this subject,

The <<>> on Sunday examined why industrialized countries have been experiencing decreased fertility rates and how differing policies regarding maternity leave and worker benefits are affecting the rates.

According to the Times Magazine, fertility rates in more than 90 countries are below the replacement level of 2.1 children per woman, and the "relatively large families of new immigrants" are "staving off a population crisis" in the U.S., which has a fertility rate that "hovers around replacement level."

Some scholars say that many factors -- including greater access to contraception, later marriage and a decrease in "hopefulness about the future" -- account for the decreased fertility rates, but many researchers say that the "particular burdens women face in the work force" also is a factor.

According to Times Magazine, it might be more difficult to be a working parent in the U.S. than in countries experiencing larger decreases in fertility rates because the country spends less on child care than any other industrialized country and paid leave is not guaranteed.

The lowest fertility rates in Western Europe are in countries -- such as Italy, Greece, Portugal and Spain -- where "the old idea that the man is the breadwinner and the woman is the childraiser holds strong," while countries that support the highest numbers of working women -- including Denmark, Finland and Norway -- have among the highest rates in the region, the Times Magazine reports.

Sociologist Ronald Rindfuss said that Norwegian women who live in towns with more day care slots available have more children and begin to have children earlier than women in towns with less day care slots.

In addition, experts have linked an increase in Sweden's birthrate to policies mandating paid maternity leave, the Times Magazine reports (Lerner, New York Times Magazine, 3/4)

http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/03/08/22472.aspx

I would recommend Eva Hermann s book "Das Eva Prinzip" for German speaking(I dont know if it is available in english..sorry but check just in case)
das_eva_prinzip.jpg
ing

Ps.May Allah grant you the rightly deserved place of resting for all that you are going through,everythin is well calculated Appa.And May Allah give me and give us all the means to help other muslims am working on it inshallah.

wassalaam
Jamil



The golden Dinar is a SUNNA
 

Musulmanin

Junior Member
:salam2:

Some people complain about the ban on female drives by Saudi goverment.

Every country has its own laws, Saudiya chose this one.

How many of these same people complaining of the ban about driving, but

keep quiet about French and other coutries ban on hijab's in schools?


Saudi Arabia is far from perfect, and this is their law.

Some coutries allow same sex marriage, others capital punishment, others

free healthcare, Saudi Arabia chose has this law. Which is not the end of the

world as some are trying to turn it into forgetting about more important

issues in the society.

Some people just need to find more important issues to solve and worry

about.

P.S. by the way I don't necessary agree with the ban on female drivers.
 

Talat

Junior Member
Assalaam walaikum,

Now brothers let me make you think. What about all the widows and women of divorce who are forced to work to put food on the table for their children. If the woman did not work the children would not eat. So now you have a woman who works and comes home to be the housewife and mother. She works until she is so tired, all the while her children are on her mind. She comes home and helps with homework. She washes the clothes, makes dinner, cleans the home and makes it a Muslim household. She balances bills. If I pay all the electrical bill do I have enough money to pay the water bill. The mortgage/rent bill, the car payment, the insurance payments, oh let me not forget the children grow each day..set aside money for clothes and emergencies. So brothers tell me what do you say to these sisters? We, too, are your mothers and sisters. Do you just wish the best for your wives and leave millions of Muslim sisters by the wayside?

salam
many thanks for this replay ,that person is me, yes, I am the one who worrieds about every aspect of life, from house work, childrens' education and an outside job just to pay the bills. Alhamsullilah no complain.
 

saif

Junior Member
:salam2:

Much has already been said in the thread, so there is really very less to add from my side. I just want to add a few comments.

It is not about housewife OR working woman:

Where as in many gulf countries women can afford to have multiple servants, and hence they are not even "housewives" in the perfect sense of this word, the western women (muslims and non muslims alike) do not have the choice to be housewife OR working woman. The choice is between being housewife or housewife cum working woman. There are no servants in the west and everything which a house wife does, has to be done anyway. And let me add here, that most of the time they do it well. If you just ignore a tiny minority involved in drugs and violance in the big cities ( and sadly the ratio of muslims in such scenes is considerably high), most of the western women keep their houses very clean and bring up their children very good. It is sad but true that best scientists, best engineers and best professionals in any other field are mostly brought up by the same western women, who take care of their families and also work, whenever they need to.


Are housewives looked down upon in west?

I don't really agree with this cliche. In fact, it is now considered as a pensionable job and the governments have done some legislation about that. As far as the financial recognition of the work done as a housewife is concerned, the best way to experience that is to try to divorce your housewife in west :) When you will have to give a considerable portion (if not the half) of your property to your ex-housewife, then you will know how good their work is recognized. In fact, sometimes I think it is too good recognized.

How to avoid the finah?

I could also add a few comments about the "fitnah" discussion but to make it really short, I would say the best way to avoid all kinds of fitnahs is to try to understand the deen as it is. Trying to make it harder to achieve a kind of piety, which does not exist in the orignal deen, or trying to make it softer just to be like the west, the both attitudes open the doors to fitnahs.

:wasalam:
 

Al-Kashmiri

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Salam

However, if all women stayed at home as housewives, then men would be teaching your daughters...then men would be delivering your babies and doing gyno checks on your wives and daughters....then men would be measuring your wives and daughters for clothing....then they would HAVE to speak to men in grocery stores, restaurants, taxis, schools, universities, police stations, etc.

See where I am going here?

As a side note, Kuwait is introducing "Eve Taxis" soon, which will be pink taxis with female drivers for ladies only. If there are no lady taxi drivers, your wives & daughters would have to ride with male taxi drivers. http://www.thenational.ae/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100120/FOREIGN/701199920/1040

As-salaamu `alaykum

I think this is subject to one's observance of different cultures. Back home (Kashmir), the women may be doctors, teachers, nurses etc., but housewives at the same time. For example, they will do some early morning chores, go away to give some injections, teach or whatever their job is. Come back some hours later (by lunch time) and their work in society is done. They are back in their homes, doing whatever may need to be done.

So I'm not sure about the first part of your statement, because there are very obvious solutions to that; it's just that you may not witness them in the rich Middle-Eastern states, and definitely not in the West...
 

justoneofmillion

Junior Member

Are housewives looked down upon in west?

I don't really agree with this cliche. In fact, it is now considered as a pensionable job and the governments have done some legislation about that. As far as the financial recognition of the work done as a housewife is concerned, the best way to experience that is to try to divorce your housewife in west :) When you will have to give a considerable portion (if not the half) of your property to your ex-housewife, then you will know how good their work is recognized. In fact, sometimes I think it is too good recognized.


:wasalam:
As Salaam Aleikum,
looked down upon doesn t necessarily mean financially brother,but it can also mean that a certain trend in society tends to marginalize the huge contribution that housewives bring to it s growth.

There was a report on German TV about the experiences of professional women who have decided to stay home and spend more time with their families,suspend their careers for a while..etc and how they were treated quite differently now and then throughout their daily life when they had to present themselves in some office or present any document relating their status or even among their friends.

That was quite an enlightening insight about the pressure that women get through all of the messages sent by todays slogans and way of life primarily in the west. Even tough the same monolithic message is being exported worldwide under the pretext of globalization , full of superiority complex and arrogance, a dogma that promotes competition in it s widest range of human relations.

Some countries try hard to find a way to reconcile their racist policies of anti emigration and keeping a way of life that is nearly impossible to sustain.

Sometimes they try and divert the attention of not being able to answer the real questions of their citizens through populist slogans (occupation,drug abuse,inflation,anorexia,prostitution even among university students ...etc),like the Niqaab matter in other words ,we need workers yes but they need to "integrate" a word that has become to be more identified with assimilation in this modern language than with contribution, this is dictatorship!

They avoid to answer because they won t admit that the secret to their riddle and to the just balance of every society is one and only one AKA god consciousness and the perception of accountability in the collective mind which regulates all of the humans needs and greeds.

Other times and of course simultaneously they de export blury concepts such as democracy,emancipation,nudity,homosexuality....etc all to serve just one purpose which is population control.Put some more here and diminish others there theoretically through mind control and of course practically ,launch some war,steal some give to some a little more than they need, make sure you keep the price of rice and corn lower than the local agricultor and we ll be alright to hell with the others.

Akhi ,i don t think the decision makers care about women,men or animal in the west more than they care about their own pockets!fact is 'women' are the best consumers and promoters to consume that is why they put more money in their hands as well.And of course,Marrying a woman in the west without a marriage contract is a silly idea, a double edged sword be it with a working or a non working wife ,lord have mercy.But we hope that as Muslim we will never get that low and learn how to be responsible and well focused regarding our wives and children in marriage or in divorce not because of the secular laws but because of Allah swt inshallah.

:wasalam:

respectfully
jamil
 

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
I just dont understand why women can not drive in Saudi, where on earth did they come up with that from?
its so pathetic

from the world statistics! when women can drive alone, she is free to go anywhere. no restrictions. boy-girl can go on date. they can sit behind the bushes. etc etc. men can molest her.

but men-women should not date. its unislamic! isnt it? but whose is going to listen to you when there is no fear of Allah even in not making salah?

if govt can assure that there will be no fitnah and no trouble... i am all for women driving. :)

Ruling of women driving
 

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
Please remember that Rasool (peace be upon him) stated that Kadijah's wealth made the spread of Islam possible in the beginning. She was a bussines woman and extremely educated for a woman of her time. While she lived our Prophet took no other wife and said she had no equal. (a good model for those brothers who wish to remain monogamous) She is one of the mothers of the believers and I think an exceptional example for Muslim women to look towards.

:salam2:, i wanted to say that:

1. prophet :saw: wife was a businesswomen before coming of Islam.

2. i could not find names of earlier religious people whose wives worked to earn money and be *independent*.
 

al-fajr

...ism..schism
Staff member
Assalamu'alaykum,

:salam2:, i wanted to say that:

1. prophet :saw: wife was a businesswomen before coming of Islam.

2. i could not find names of earlier religious people whose wives worked to earn money and be *independent*.

Don't get carried away.

Women are allowed to work and earn their own money. Call it 'independence' but its not exactly the same negative connotation. Sure, she has the personal freedom to either share her earnings with her husband or spend it on herself, independence to that level is granted and is perfectly legit in Islaam.
 

ShyHijabi

Junior Member
I can promise you that there is no "part time" doctor, especially an OBGYN. Babies come at all hours and emergency surgeries aren't scheduled around household duties. Some of the men here seem to be purposely ignoring the question, WHO WILL DELIVER YOUR CHILDREN? WHO WILL CARE FOR WIVES WHEN SICK IN THE HOSPITAL?

You honestly think it proper to forbid women from driving and working to avoid fitnah? That is preposterous, it is like poking out men's eyes to prevent fitnah. HEY! There's an idea! Women are not animals, they should not be restricted from working or driving because if what you THINK might happen. How about you raise your sons to be proper Muslims and not catcall to women and chase them down. Frankly the fact that women are harrassed in SA proves that these restrictions don't work when you put the onus on women alone. BTW I've driven since I was 18 and NEVER had some guy harrass me or go to a males house.

Men have been let off the hook for too long and instead of punishing a man for disgusting behavior they instead act like an inappropriately dressed woman should bear the entire brunt of punishment. It takes two to commit the sin of zainah, how about some accountability on both sides as opposed to caging women like animals?
 

Al-Kashmiri

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Lol, I'm not sure if you were referring to me or not? If you were, I hope you didn't think my example was absolute. It was an example of what I have seen, not a complete solution. Also, I was speaking about villages and towns, not cities where populations are larger and demands (to work) are higher.

Was-salaam
 

iloveislam78

Junior Member
salam

i agree with ahmed and with the sister who posted the other point of view ur in my opnion u both NAILED it :)

alhamdulliah that were all muslims :))))))))


there aint no better place to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 

iloveislam78

Junior Member
p;s

sister shy hijabi wow u speak sooo much truth

ive been chased by 'muslim' men like since i can remember.................... muslim men should be the ones who say to the kufir men leave her )the muslim women) alone yet there doing it themseleves........................... in my experiances they seen to be astagfurillah at times even worse,,, we should be working together as thee muslim ummah come now yall


ALL TOGTHER NOW :)))

PEACE
 
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