Why muslim girls are married against their wishes?

[slaveofAllah88]

well, your right brothor...
but we also cannot help when our parents force us....
if we say no to them, they emotionally drag us into this problem...

:salam2:

u r right sister, its the guilt that really hurts, BUT i think we shud be able to talk to our parents regarding this matter look up quranic verses, some fatwas and hadith , talk to our parents reasonably, and shud stay firm on the decision cuz later on its the kids who have to live with it.

Many marriage end up in a bad way cuz the parents forced it or just arranged it, and the only comment u get is , well her luck.

 

[allah is with me]

u r right sister, its the guilt that really hurts, BUT i think we shud be able to talk to our parents regarding this matter look up quranic verses, some fatwas and hadith , talk to our parents reasonably, and shud stay firm on the decision cuz later on its the kids who have to live with it.

Many marriage end up in a bad way cuz the parents forced it or just arranged it, and the only comment u get is , well her luck.

both of u are right. maybe the girl can show the hadith to her parents that she cant be married against her will. maybe it can help her with the help of Allah.

brother some parents are not like this...
even if they bring quran in front of them..
they go on , and insult the quran by not obeying it...

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

:salam2:

Allah is the one who has ordained marriage for His creatures. He has placed within marriage the blessings of comfort, love, and mercy.

"And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Sûrah Rûm: 21]

For this reason, Allah had made one of the essential pillars of the marriage contract that both the husband and the wife are willing parties to the marriage. This is the essence of the offer and acceptance in the marriage contract. It is not possible to contract a legal marriage in Islam without the willing consent of two legally accountable people of sound mind.

As for the customs and traditions that exist in some parts of the world requiring people to marry others who are chosen for them, these customs are not Islamic. No one can be obliged to follow them. No man can be obliged to marry any woman against his will. Likewise, no woman can be forced to marry any man against her will.

The Sunnah provides us with a considerable amount of evidence for the legal necessity of the consent of both parties to the marriage.

`Â'ishah narrates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "A virgin's consent must be sought for marriage."

To this `Â'ishah commented: "But a virgin is too bashful."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "Her silence is her consent." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Buraydah narrates that once, a woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, my father married me to my cousin in order to raise his social standing, but I do not want to be married to him.”

The Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave her the option of annulment. At this point, she said: “I have already reconciled myself to my father’s decision, but I wanted it to be known that women have a say in the matter.”

[Sunan al-Nasâ’î (3269), Sunan Ibn Mâjah (1874), and Musnad Ahmad (25043) and authenticated by Shu`ayb al-Arna`ût et al in Tahqîq Musnad Ahmad (41/493)]

Though a child must generally obey his or her parents, this obedience does not extend to marrying an unwanted partner in life. Islamic Law permits a son or daughter to refuse entering into any marriage he or she is displeased with, no matter what their reason for refusing might be.

Without a doubt, it is better to refuse to get married from the outset than to place oneself into an unhappy marriage. There is no reason for the people to subject themselves to an unhappy home life or to an unstable marriage which might very well end in a stressful and messy divorce.

If a man knows that the family of his bride to be is coercing her to marrying him, then that man must himself refuse to enter into the marriage. It is not lawful for him to marry a woman he knows is unwilling. Such a marriage has a contractual defect in it, since the willing consent of both parties is part of the contractual basis of a lawful marriage in Islam – even if that marriage takes place in a court of law at the behest of the woman's legal guardian.

No one should enter into a marriage unless he or she is perfectly satisfied with it and resolved to it. The consent of both the man and the woman must be utterly free. This is the way to ensure that their married life has a good chance of happiness and not bea source of continual grief for the couple and for their respective families.

www.islamtoday.com

:salam2:

 

[justoneofmillion]

Assalamu aleikum,
I hear a lot of incidents where brothers too are forced to marry someone they don t wish to marry...Anyways, i guess we all shall agree that both sides of the coin are wrong spectulativ adventurs from which parents should keep their fingers and hopes away .Just my two cents to balance the debate a little, before making it seem as it was some sort of feministic battelfield.smile

wassalaam
Jameel

 

[slaveofAllah88]

brother some parents are not like this...
even if they bring quran in front of them..
they go on , and insult the quran by not obeying it...

Then i think u obey the Quran rather than obeying ur parents

This vid by Ummah Films really breaks it down and explains the complications enjoy it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsYOI1pDssI

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Assalamu aleikum,
I hear a lot of incidents where brothers too are forced to marry someone they don t wish to marry...Anyways, i guess we all shall agree that both sides of the coin are wrong spectulativ adventurs from which parents should keep their fingers and hopes away .Just my two cents to balance the debate a little, before making it seem as it was some sort of feministic battelfield.smile

wassalaam
Jameel

:salam2:

You are right, brothers are , i know some that rebel but mostly we are forced into marriage by guilt or by our parents telling us that they will disown us or never accept the women into the family.
it can have really bad consequences on the guy, and many times when a husband or wife is not happy with the marriage it leads to unhappy marriage, which results in people getting hurt and alot of unhappy marriages have really negative effect on the kids as well.
I think we shud all be allowed to pick, our parents brought us up they taught us and things change over time what they might think is best might not be best, im not saying kids cant make bad decision but if they do they got themselves to blame and its easier to live by that decision then someone else making the decision and causing pain in the future.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

:salam2:

You are right, brothers are , i know some that rebel but mostly we are forced into marriage by guilt or by our parents telling us that they will disown us or never accept the women into the family.
it can have really bad consequences on the guy, and many times when a husband or wife is not happy with the marriage it leads to unhappy marriage, which results in people getting hurt and alot of unhappy marriages have really negative effect on the kids as well.
I think we shud all be allowed to pick, our parents brought us up they taught us and things change over time what they might think is best might not be best, im not saying kids cant make bad decision but if they do they got themselves to blame and its easier to live by that decision then someone else making the decision and causing pain in the future.

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh Bhai. I understand what you mean, and I grew up in that kind of way, but Alhamdulillah, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla is my Guardian, and I'm happy that he's taking care of me know, Alhamdulillah.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh Bhai. I understand what you mean, and I grew up in that kind of way, but Alhamdulillah, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla is my Guardian, and I'm happy that he's taking care of me know, Alhamdulillah.

:salam2:

SubhanAllah brother, Allah (swt) put everything in islam in perfection. But our society has created many norms that they find acceptable, I feel like alot of parents have a lack of trust in their kids cuz they have been telling them wat to do all their life and they feel like if the kids made such a big decision they will wrong but only Allah (swt) knows the future and our main goal shud be to obey him not anyone else