Wife's father is drinking..not welcome!!

[I.Iman]

Need help with this. The problem concearned a wife of a husband who's father is a drinker, not always, but from time to time and has always been. How should the wife and husband adress this matter, especially when Eid is coming up tomorrow. Her husband says no he cannot visit (they used to have a good contact before she married her husband, and she also have children who used to have good contact with her father). The ties between wife, her children and her father are broken, but the wife wants to invite him for Eid and "start over" but her husband refuses her. No she is upset, her children upset and her father since they are sad. What can she do??

To me, it feels like Eid is a time when familys should rebond and forgive eachother.

Salam

 

[finding light]

Im sorry to hear about this situation and it can be quite tricky when it comes to those who are so close to us.
But the only way forward is a way with Allah. My suggestion would be to go ahead with an Eid gathering and use the opportunity to guide the one who is drinking. Explain to him in a positive light how good his life would be without alcohol and the useless-ness (if thats a word!) of drinking. Usually people drink to run away from problems, explain to him that only Allah can help us with our problems and there is much more reward in turning to Allah. He is old enough to know all this and understand it! Maybe he needs a little reminder from the people who are closest to him. Pushing him away wil not help him, it might make it worse.
My advice would be for his loved ones to become his reason to leave alcohol rather than trouble him to take it. They need to be his support if they really care. This is the way I see it, maybe others would disagree. I hope you understand my point. This is drawn from my own experience. My best friend used to drink. Alhamdulillah that part is over.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Is the father Muslim?

 

[OsMaN_93]

If your husband will get upset if you invite your un-welcomed father, then it is not worth it. If you're so desperate to see your father, then ask him if it's okay if you go to your parents' house; alone or with your children, and he doesn't have to go in. But don't go on Eid, as your husband might feel unworthy and deserted.

I'm not married, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

 

[I.Iman]

Jazakallah kheiran! I think the answer she should try to bring him to Islam sounds very good. May Allah bless you all for answering.

 

[saifkhan]

as salam 'alaykum

I think that husband (or vice-versa) has the right to stop her form visiting the house, however, things can be handled either way also.

if her father is muslim, then they can make dua for him, and not only them, all family members together, this is the practice we've forgotten, we always point out other fault, and neither we give nasiha, while rasul Allah salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam said: Islam is the deen of nasihah. nor we pray for their betterment.

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however,
"To me, it feels like Eid is a time when familys should rebond and forgive eachother."

this is true, it might sound harsh from her husband but yet, to be strict in Allah's command, anything can be sacrificed, even emotions and specially in special days, sacred days.

i can see the issue of that sister is like, she is looking for his father in Eid out of emotions, while the husband might have not been overcame by emotions and if his point is totally Islamic, we can talk about other way, but at the same time we can't blame even.

wa-llahu a'lam
wassalam