will my prayer be accepted

[human_being]

:salam2: brothers and sisters,
My whole life is full of sins, from last four or five months i was really fed-up from my life.Then i went to mosque start (praying).I prayed to Allah subhana-talah to forgive me for what i have done, and grant me a good life.Recently i was almost going to engage to a girl but i m losing a lot of weight day by day.I dont know that i have (cancer, hepatitis c, hiv or aids).I was thinking that maybe i have disease that's why i am just really worried to get married.I dont want to go for a medical examination because i strongly believe in Allah and i am sure that if i pray to him,Allah will forgive me cure me without knowing anybody, then i m fine.I am just really scared that if i will get married then may be i will pass any disease to my wife.I do not know what to do.
Please my brother's and sister's advice me,Will i engage to a girl or just say no.Because if i will say "No" then may be Allah will be really angry because i am saying No to a person who is being created by "Allah".
Please my brother's and sisters pray for me.I wish that you will understand which situation I am going now a days.I donot want to ruin someone life because of me.I wish that "Instead of ruining any girl life,death is better for me".
Thanks for brother's and sister's reading this message.I will wait for your advise.
Kind Regards
Human_Being

 

[zainsmommy]

Dear Brother
May Allah have mercy on you and help you in these bad times.

First, I would suggest that you DO see a doctor to rule out any problems health wise. There is nothing wrong with going to see one. Sure you can trust in Allah as you said, but you also must take care of yourself as well...do your part. There is a saying..." you have to tie a knot around the camels neck before you walk away". You can't just sit back and expect things to be ok if you do not take care of yourself.

Second, you mentioned that you were not in a good state of mind recently and that could be why you are losing so much weight. People who suffer from stress will tend to lose weight without even trying. They have no appetite, they cannot think of important things because they are so overwhelmed. I suggest you make it a point to eat a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do not skip your meals no matter how much you want too or because you are not hungry. Eat anyway. This will give you strength and it will also help you to think clearly.

As for marrying someone...you really need to concentrate on yourself at this time. You need to continue to pray to Allah for forgiveness...you need to trust in Allah and know that he is most forgiving and most merciful Now it is up to you to try to live a good life, do good deeds, and stay very close to Allah...do not miss your prayers.

You must not punish yourself for what you have done in the past. You have asked for forgiveness...now leave that part in Allah's hands. You now have to worry about taking care of yourself, physically and mentally and everything will eventually start to get better. YOu must have faith and trust in Allah though. If you lose that trust and that faith and constantly worry about your past and your health...it will not benefit you at all. It will just make you stay in the same spot. Your health will suffer.

After you are in a better state of mind and health, then you will be able to make decisions reagarding your future. It would not be fair for you to marry someone in this state of mind or health. You do not even know IF something is wrong with you and you are causing yourself a great deal of pain and stress...you would not want to pass this burden on to someone else would you? You need to worry about yourself right now and then after, if you wish, get married.
Allah will understand...he knows your intentions if you should turn someone away...he knows what you are going through at this time.
Trust in him!

I will make Du'a for you Brother and I really hope that Allah will have mercy on you at this time and help you to heal both mentally and physically.

Assalamu Aleikom

 

[zainsmommy]

Also, I wanted to add...if you do find out something is wrong...STILL you must keep your faith in Allah!!!!!! DO not despair...for he is always with you!

 

[loveislam1]

Asalam alikoum brother
You have made towba and have relized your mistakes do not wallow in depsair move past your past and be determined to be a better muslim inshallah. Allah hears and accepts any repentance made with good intention.
You may very well be under stress as the sister said in the previous post, it sounds like it from your state of mind and feeling guilty about what you have done. However I would suggest to see a doctor to rule out any illness that may be passed form you to a future wife......it is really haram to marry a girl and think you may have something wrong with you and not disclose that to her.

 

[human_being]

:salam2:
Thank you for your reply, "To be honest with you, i will never go to doctor because i dont have that much power or ability to sit down in-front of a doctor so that "he or she can say to me that i have a disease or not".I Strongly believe in Allah and his prophet Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H).I am sure that Allah will sure me from any disease.
I was in stress for last couple of months and was not eating properly at all.Sometimes i eat two meals a day or sometimes one meal a day.May be that was the case of losing weight.
:salam2:

 

[zainsmommy]

If you go to the discussion board you will find a thread that will be VERY beneficial to you and your current situation. It seems it was posted just in time for you Brother. Mash'Allah! Allah truly is great. May Meraj be blessed for giving us this information.

I feel that this thread will really help you.
It is in the Islamic Discussion Board and it is titled: Tests for the BELIEVERS: fluctuations in life.

 

[human_being]

:salam2:
Thankyou sister for guiding me to this post. Please remember me in your :tti_sister:
:salam2:

 

[kayleigh]

DO see a doctor. God has given you the opportunity to have access to medicine that can help you - take advantage of that. I understand the fear of the unknown, and the idea that if you don't know what's wrong, then it is easy to ignore, but it will only hurt you more in the long run. You owe it to yourself and your future wife you take care of yourself.

Praying and believing in Allah (swt) and Muhammad (saw) won't necessarily cure you of your disease. If that were the case, no devout Muslim would ever die of any disease. But that's not the case. Some crazy Christian groups here have the same mindset: medicine is bad and if you believe in God, you won't die. What ends up happening? People die. These people don't have the same theological beliefs as you, but the end result is the same: people die when it could be easily avoided.

 

[human_being]

Thank you very much brother's and sister i went to the hospital and did some test there.I dont know what will be the results but if i am dieing Please pray for me.Thank you for your kind and support.
:salam2: