Women Lenient in their Speech with Men

Discussion in 'Women, Family, and Marriage' started by sclavus, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. sclavus
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    sclavus Junior Member

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    Question: What is your opinion regarding some women who are easy going and free when talking to men? It is hoped that you could offer them (some) words of guidance, and may Allaah reward you with good.

    Response: It is not permissible for a woman to extend her speech beyond that which is necessary with men who are not her mahram; This is because it leads to fitnah, and Allaah (Tabaaraka wa Ta'aala) says:

    {...then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner}, [Soorah al-Ahzaab, Aayah 32]

    (So) she must speak to the (market) trader in accordance with her needs, without extending (her speech with him); This is because Shaytaan flows through the son of Aadam as blood flows. And how many a women says that she is far removed from fitnah, however, Shaytaan is still with her in order to invite her to the fitnah.

    It is possible that she has just left (the company of) a man with whom she unnecessarily extended her speech with, and then Shaytaan whispers evil thoughts to her until she returns back to this man and the first words (they exchange) become the sparks (which initiate the fitnah) and the final words - a blazing inferno (when they have both fallen into the fitnah), and refuge is sought in Allaah!

    So it is required of the women to fear Allaah and not to succumb to such speech, and nor to extend speech beyond that which is necessary. And an example of this - and it is indeed an evident scourge, rather a major scourge - and that is what occurs by way of the telephone. So there are many pathetic fools who dial any random number (in the hope of speaking to a woman) and (then they find) a woman (who eventually) speaks to them. So he says words of affection to her and they continue like this again and again. He then records their conversations, and this is a problem, because he will never leave her alone. So he records all their conversations, and when matters turn ugly (between them), he says to her: "Either you do (such-and-such) or I will give (the recordings) to your son or brother or father or other than them so they can hear your voice (and what we talked about)."

    So because of this, I warn the women from (unnecessarily) extending conversation with men, indeed it is a danger of immense proportions, and we ask Allaah for safety from the fitan.

    Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
    I'laam al-Mu'aasireen bi-Fataawa Ibn 'Uthaymeen - Pages 391-392


    http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/womensissues/mahram/0101023.htm
  2. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    thank you brother.. its something we should all be careful about ..espeially wiht the wide use of interent today..something we should also be careful of
  3. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,


    But, brother,

    Most women are very shy in speech with men. I thank you for writing this.
  4. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    you would be surprised..as iwas when came to live among muslims that muslim ..and here imean arab women are not the shy quiet people i imagined even around men,,
  5. Noor El-Huda
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    Noor El-Huda Junior Member

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    Jazak Allah kheir for the reminder. Very important for us here on the forum, that we abide by the rules of Allah swt so that we all benefit.

    Also, I don't know how reasonable or not my request is, but I feel that if there are topics of mature and sensitive nature, for either gender, that thread is titled 'Men Only' / 'Women only', (if there is a reason not to discuss it in the private section). I feel that sensitve topics, such of a recent thread, should not be discussed freely between men and women, so that haya between them is not affected. Haya is part of Iman. Its something precious that men and women should aim to protect. A certain degree of Haya is required of men too, amongst themselves and between them and women; we know hadith entailing Osman ra. He had a certain level haya, that the prophet said would I not have haya of a man that angels have haya from him. (hadith meaning) - (The prohpet pbuh let down his garment when Osman ra entred.)

    Jazakum Allah kheir
  6. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    We do have the Sister section.
  7. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    salam dear sister..yes your right...but the sisters dont seem to use the sisters section so much

    but iagree there was a very sensitive issue recently should have been only in the brothers section,,,

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