Would u marry a Sister not observing Hijab? Would u marry a brother without Beard?

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

A very important question is being asked here:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7771

I would like to turn the question on its head & ask the reverse to both genders…

Would do all say

 

[UmmOf3]

Salaam aleikum

IF or WHEN I was single:

I would marry a man without beard, if he had other qualities I was searching for in a husband, and other important issues.

Like, I would rather marry a man with visa and papers, without beard, than a bearded brother without papers...

 

[tiaaja]

i prefer to marry a man without beard.
reason? i can't find the reason, it just my preference.

 

[Globalpeace]

Nutty Muslim!

Asslamo Allaikum,

The most important consideration for me would be to marry a sister based on “her religion” & I accept that wearing Hijab is a manifestation of her religion; BUT…

I am an odd-ball and if I was to get married, I would construct a “psychological profile” of the sister (& I did of every single sister when I was going to get married, maintained a spread-sheet & so on***) and if I genuinely believe that she is “inclined towards practising” then I would marry her & if she was not wearing Hijab then I am sure that she will (Insha’Alla) in the future

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis, there are plenty of Non-Hijabi sisters I would ABSOLUTELY marry!

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis there are plenty of Hijabi or even Naqabi sisters that I would ABSOLUTELY pass!

Fortunately my wife was always practising…

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis, Istikhara, Shura & 6 years of married life I would marry her (my wife) EVEN if she was not wearing a Hijab everyday & twice on a Sunday…but I know that she would have NEVER even considered me f I didn’t a beard

*** P.S: Since I actually told every single sister that I was considering about my “System”; some of them actually asked for detailed feed back (can you believe it???) so I sent them long e-mails explaining and stuff…(It was funny at the time) & in turn appreciated it

I actually had a system of saying “No” politely (loop-backs i.e. how to handle problems) because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings

Some may think that I am a nutcase and they may be right but I always plan things and create a system and analyse everything I (it’s just in my nature I suppose)…

 

[UmmOf3]

Asslamo Allaikum,
Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis, there are plenty of Non-Hijabi sisters I would ABSOLUTELY marry!

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis there are plenty of Hijabi or even Naqabi sisters that I would ABSOLUTELY pass!

Salaam aleikum

I agree, just switch hijab with beard, and so on...

 

[ShaheedU]

salaam,

Couldnt the person u marry be the difference between u ending up in Jannah or Jahanaam?

Can u leave something like that to "he/she might wear a hijab/beard in the future."?

Im using hijab/beard as a symbol of peity or piousness or whatever its called.

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

I think there are too many options . can be confusing. But i think this poll is good .The results wiil be reliable as the number of voters ,inshallah, will be large considering the number of TTI members .


I think both the hijab and the beard are two different things..cannot quite be compared with each other

 

[Abdul-Raheem]

:salam2:

To be frank, I would never marry a girl who doesn't wear a hijab. NEVER. No matter how beautiful or accomplished she may be.

wasalam

 

[okidocman]

many different reasons

salam Alaikum !

I live in Paris and it's sometimes difficult for single muslim womens to wear Hijab because of the French mentality but many of them have the intention to wear it when they'll get marry so that they can find support from them husband.

If i find a muslima to get married and she doesn't wear hijab i just ask the reason.
Sometimes they are converted and still live in them parents house but them family is against Islam so i can understand that. It's difficult to analyse the real reason.

I myself wear a very small beard but it's because it doesn't grow on my face. I didn't shave for many years but it looks like i shaved 1 week ago. lol
I wish i could have a beard like some Tchetchene !

So sometimes i get asked by muslima why do i shave myself? But i don't! ALLAHU Subhanawatahala Made me like that ! lol

Salam

 

[Slave-of-Allah]

:salam2:
In my opinion, I would never marry a guy without a beard.:shymuslima1:

 

[Globalpeace]

A Muslim Sister who DOES NOT wear Hijab!

Asslamo Allaikum,

I know of a White British sister who was living with a Pakistani guy (before she became Muslim) and went through a very turbulent, violent and abusive relationship; he obviously didn’t tell her anything about Islam.

They had 2 kids (boys); she went through an extensive court battle to win custody and as her boys were growing up she thought that it would only be right for them to know about their culture (Pakistani side) so she delved into it, discovered Islam & took the Shahada…

She is not well off financially & lives in a working class white neighbourhood (her words & not mine) & there are almost NO Muslims around where she lives (in the whole city)…She prays and practices Islam (in her house) but feels threatened for her safety and her young boys by wearing Hijab as she believes that in the neighbourhood she and her boys will be an obvious target…people already look at her and the boys funny & stuff…She also says that some of the boys in the neighbourhood also make fun of her kids!

She says that she is willing to marry a Muslim man (she even agrees to being a 2nd wife) and move out (she can’t at the moment on her own because of the financial situation, work etc.) …

I am asking for all not to be judgemental as she is trying to practise Islam as best as she can while being a single parent with financially difficulty & all the stress that goes with it; I am sure that she will get the courage and come around eventually!

I am sure that there many examples like her out there; but I only know of this personally!

P.S: May Allah (SWT) give her courage to don the Hijab & practice Islam fully (Ameen).

 

[Ibn Abdul-Rahman]

hey there

:salam2:
i am new here on this site :ma: it is a good site. To the question my brother's and sister's what you have to remember is that if a sister does not wear a hijab when you marry her what makes you think she will wear one after marriage. what will you say when she turns to you and says you married me with out if so now you can live with me without it :astag: so what are you going to say i want a divorce, but you married her like that. As for marriage to a brother without a beard then if you want to marry a brother that is following the sunnah of the prophet (saw) than you should stay away from them because if they leave this sunnah what other sunnah's can they leave

and Allah knows best brothers and sisters if i have made a mistake then it from me

 

[shaz_1999]

I just want 2marry sme1 who I can get n wid and at da least prays his namaz.
This poll is askin ppl 2judge how dey look I cannot agree wid dat. I just c da way da person is.

People mite fink dat I dont wear Hijaab but I do, I am lookin 2 marry sme1 at da mo but I dont fink yes he has2 hav a beard or no he dosnt.

I just need 2c myself get n wid him dats it.

But I wudnt tke my Hijaab off 4any1 ever.

 

[basheer76]

wrong criteria

Well, I think it's not wise to discuss an issue related to the appearance because you can find a lot of women wearing hijab but hurting muslims more than non-muslims and also you can find a brother with beard but behaving very bad.
Let's not worry about the apearance this much. We will get into an endless discussing and forget about the core matters of Iman - faith like avoiding shirk, serving our brother and sisters and helping them regardless of their appearances, helping non-muslims and showing them good example not in appearance, making Duaa and Kiyam, seeking knowledge of any kind that is good the humanity; reconciling between family members and community members, etc.

 

[Ibn Abdul-Rahman]

:salam2:
i agree with what you are saying brother but the problem is that if your outer conditions are not of the islamic way it will be harder for your inner conditions to be islamic i.e first comes the Actions of the limbs ( 5 pillars of islam)
then the conditions of the heart (6 pillars of Eemaan)
if you don't look like a muslim how can you be one. As for your other point on the fact that they (brothers with beards) also get up to wrong things thats true but the beard will help him to think twice beacuse if does'nt other people will say to him anite you a muslim and is it not Haram for you to do this.

And Allah know best if i have made any mistakes it is from me

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum Brother,

Masha'Allah, you points are very valid most of the times; but the world we live in is NOT always black/white and there are a lot of weak people (Brothers/Sisters) out there...

 

[basheer76]

Chaning appearance is easier than changing your heart

:salam2:
i agree with what you are saying brother but the problem is that if your outer conditions are not of the islamic way it will be harder for your inner conditions to be islamic i.e first comes the Actions of the limbs ( 5 pillars of islam)
then the conditions of the heart (6 pillars of Eemaan)
if you don't look like a muslim how can you be one. As for your other point on the fact that they (brothers with beards) also get up to wrong things thats true but the beard will help him to think twice beacuse if does'nt other people will say to him anite you a muslim and is it not Haram for you to do this.

And Allah know best if i have made any mistakes it is from me

Well brother,

These days, I see so many muslims who are so much worried about appearance that they even forget to worry about their actual deeds. You can very easily find a brother with a beard who refuses to pay his debts ( muslim child education, muslim book store, etc.) . Brothers fight in a mosque about put the hands on the chest during prayer or letting them down;
We have to be always reminded about the Iman and awareness of Allah in every action we do. Shaytan is always trying to keep us away from the core matters of our faith.
I think appearance is in deed important but is just a tiny matter compared to others matters.
Also, beard is different from Hijab because Hijab is a mondatory but beard is not.

 

[seekingtruth2]

asalaamu alaikom waramatullahe wabarakatuh,
ok, I wear hijab and though I wanted to wear niqab I did not because it is very hard for a single sister in the US to wear..... I thought once I got married I would wear niqab because I then had the protection of my husband but he does not allow me to wear niqab.... he says only hijab is mandatory according to the Quran...... I am still trying to talk him into allowing me to wear niqab........ (as we have only been married for 2 weeks!) but the biggest reason he was interested in marrying me was because I wore hijab and practiced our deen fully......
He however does not wear a beard but otherwise he also practices our deen fully, I am also still trying to talk him into wearing a beard but he is afraid I think to stand out too fully as a practicing muslim here in the US...... the day after I came to my husbands work wearing hijab ( I had to go there this was not something I could avoid!) he was told not to come into work for a couple of days because there wasnt enough work that week..... but he was the ONLY person laid off for a couple of days!!!!!!
you have to look at the situation a person is in before you can judge why they are not wearing a beard or hijab or niqab....... Allah swt is the ONLY judge!!!!!!!!

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum Sister,

It is test from Allah (SWT) for both of you & Insha'Allah I make dua that you two get through it.

Ameen.

P.S: I am with you on the issue of Hijab/Niqab/Beard as I have stated that I do realise the Shariah aspects of it but I also see why people would fear to practise these external Sunnahs.

Please note that I am NOT justifying people's actions simply saying that I can understand why they would do so.

 

[Ibn Abdul-Rahman]

salam

:salam2:

With regards to the brother who said that the beard is not mandatory well I have news for you it is. The reason for this is that; let me break it down for you. If you had a child and told him not to move from a spot but he does how would you feel? upset? because he did not listen to you, now lets think that father was the Prophet saw and we are that child. Also we are told in the Qur’an, to take what the Prophet saw tells us and to stay away from what he forbids us.

And Allah knows best if I have made a mistake it is from me.