Would you consider?

[Al-bint]

Walaikum Salaam wa rahmathullaahi wabarakaathuh

I fear it sends the wrong message. Painting the whole town red....
Its as good as saying all whites are not believers. From each region we can arrive at a set of stereotypical shortcomings.

There are some parts of world where every few square kilometers there is a change. There is a change from house to next house. If we have seen one part, it does not mean we can speak about the other part. If we have been there for one season, it does not mean we can accurately tell how the other season is. And people from these regions carry their home wherever they go. If one visits any immigrant house in Europe/America, its evident...

To connect easily think Europe. Think of number of languages in europe. Think of all the differences they had and they still have, the resentment some regions there show to outside culture.. . And now add more variety and more people, lot of religions, a lot of tolerance, that's sub continent...

Step down, it needs a lifetime to arrive at conclusion that reflect reality there...

Cant still fathom? just do this, observe the contributors in TTI forum...

Yet still clueless?
Then stop being reporter who paints the whole country/region red, after visiting a town or two. Just report where you saw it, because the onus to protect and prevent negative image, falls on reporter/narrator... Thats a tough job, embrace carefully

Peace.

I agree with you completely brother! i was just replying to the previous post... it was a reply and so i just assumed that its understud that i aint generalising...! just shared my experience of talking to the non hijabi sisters abt hijab. I am extremely sorry from the core of my heart if i offended anyone! who am I to actually stereotype anyone?!!

:salam2:

SubhanAllah u hit the nail on the head right there this line which seems to extremely annoy me these days

"Purity should be within the heart!"
in my relatives if i tell the elders u know your kid shud do hijab or do this, their immediate response is purity should be in the heart and then a long list of people who do hijab or niqab and are involve in wrong things ..... idk why they care so much about other act focus on yours

that goes the other way round too. then even we aint supposed to tell them anything either! the point is before correcting anyone we need to correct ourselves and make ourselves good examples for making them understand...

It's a very valid arguement. Hijab is for Allah and for yourself. Not for people to see.
If someone accuses a non-hijabi for not practising Islam, why cant she accuse hijabis the same (if its true)?



You just summed it all up right here. If you can tell a person who says "A long list of people who do hijab or niqab and are involve in wrong things" to focus on themselves, why can they not tell you (not YOU but you know what i mean) the same thing???

In case anyone runs to conclusion, I am 100% for hijab and I wear hijab. This arguement has been on TTI many times.
It is NOT A REFLECTION of her character and it most definitely is not set in stone.
A brother should take a step further to look at her deen inside - yes - inside bfore just not marrying because she doesnt do hijab.
Marry her and MAKE her do hijab.

This is my personal opinion-- If you have faith on the inside ( a strong one I am talking about) it'll be visible on the outside. why do you and other sisters wear hijab? not for the people of course but coz you have faith! I don't deny the fact that 'all hijabis aint pious' . The point I want to make is that if you appear pious on the outside it's not necessary that you are one, but if you are pious on the inside it is going to be reflected in your daily life, in your every action! Rest Allh knows best!

Again its my thinking... May Allah correct me wherever/whenever i go wrong...

jazakallah khairn!

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

I said no!

 

[Tabassum07]

:salam2:

Well, I'm female, but I'll just throw out my own views here.

Mostly all of my cousins don't wear hijab, or some do but then when they are visiting or even going out to some party they take off the hijab when they get there (even though there are still non-mahrams around).

I remember when I started hijab, some years ago now, I was meeting with a friend who doesn't wear hijab. I was really nervous going over to her house and everything because I had only worn hijab once or twice till then, so I was feeling so awkward and thinking "what will my friend think/say?" "Will she judge me?" So when my friend asked me why I started wearing it, I tried to tell her how I was reading up on some material lately, and I had come across some new things that we are supposed to wear hijab so I felt it was right to wear it. She didn't condemn me.. but she said something like "Well, we ALL know we are supposed to wear it. But then nobody really does, its so difficult. And then if we wear hijab it would mean getting marriage proposals from only THOSE kind of people."

I'm telling you this story to let you know what goes on inside the minds of some of the girls who do not wear hijab, even though they know they're supposed to wear it, and even though they pray and fast and read Quran and are super-nice-mannered and all.

Hijab is not a scale of piety though, because there are hijabis who are not so good muslims, and there are non-hijabis who are good muslims. However, there is one additional thing I've thought about non-hijabis - and its that there is something in them which is scared of being judged, or from standing out. Does this mean that their imaan isn't strong enough, they don't have a stronger will power to show the world that they are muslim? But then some wear hijab only because their family wears it, or vice versa. I sometimes wonder whether some females would still put on their hijab if they did not have the support of their mothers/sisters/aunts/cousins.

At the end of the day, I think what matters between two people marrying is how similar their inner piety scale is. If a brother is really pious, he would want his wife to be really pious too. I'm sure a highly pious brother would be a bit disappointed if his wife did not care about the deen much. And on the other hand, a not-so-pious brother would not put so much importance on hijab and things if they aren't important for him.

All females sometimes wish to dress up/wear perfume when they go outside. On some days they wish they could just run out without hijab on. But then some don't wear hijab because they don't *understand* what the command of Allah means. But for those who do, they understand that when you have the Word of Allah to do something, you listen and obey and whether you stand or fail in this test *is* a matter of piety.

 

[al-fajr]

Assalamu'alaykum

Question I want to raise is that is it not better to be wearing hijaab from a young age even if the individual isn't clear as to why exactly she is doing it, but does so out of respect for parents/family?

Eventually with time the hope is that she comes to realise why she does it and fixes her intentions for Allaah's sake alone, but that time lapse where she lacked understanding, there's was nothing but khayr for her in obeying her parents anyway.

I sometimes wonder whether some females would still put on their hijab if they did not have the support of their mothers/sisters/aunts/cousins.

Its no big deal if she is doing it through the support she receives from family members, why is this a tally against such a person? Its not even negative in my view; a person could lack understanding and opt to wear it, behave modestly and stay away from things for families sake, or a person could lack understanding and have an arrogant personality where they 'do what they like' and thus, commit a load of different sins..

The former is better state to be in than the latter. Also, this is what family are there for, its a mercy, an aid in staying away from sins.

Intentions should be for Allaah's sake, but we're talking about those who perhaps don't even think in this way.

 

[Tabassum07]

:salam2:

Sis al-fajr, you misunderstand me - I mustn't have phrased my sentence correctly. In no way am I bashing a hijabi who wears it for the sake of her family. I think its wonderful if a person has the Islamic support from a family.

But I'm just saying that sometimes the influence might be so strong that if someone's sisters take off hijab, then she shouldn't do so too, out of peer pressure. Like in the case of a mother-daughter where both wear hijab, but when the mother relaxed her hijab, her daughter followed suit. One's got to target on what exactly what one's intentions are, and for whom they wear hijab. For example, a sister who does not wear hiijab, but her husband *makes her* and she only does it for his sake - it might be that behind his back she might relax her hijab.

Just saying. Actually, I don't know what I'm saying anymore, so lets let it rest, because I am ending up confusing myself.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalam`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

It depends on what's keeping the girl from dressing modestly.

If she's like those, "Meray Dil Main Haya hai" (My heart is modest). Then No. I see this specie is growing in numbers. I've enjoyed telling them "App kay dil main haya hai". ."Likan aap ka dress bay haya hai" (Your heart has modesty but your dress is immodest). That "Bay Haya" (Immodest) word is like an abuse and hits them really hard. I like the look on their faces when they hear it.

If she's wears a hijab and it seems like she's just looking for a chance to throw it off. Then again a no, if she thinks the same as the girls above. One can always tell this kind. They may wear hijaab but in a way where it's just something wrapped around for fashion. It doesn't cover them up and they have their hair sticking out of the front and the back and/or on occasions like parties, students week and stuff they come without it. Even if they know they'll be passing by men.

These two kind of girls don't really understand what hijaab is and they follow their culture. i.e they wear it when its in or common or something everyone does and wouldn't think of it or would switch to not wearing it when its out or hijaabis are rare. If they are given the understanding of what hijaab is and they accept to wearing it for Allaah, then its obviously a yes. If not and they refuse it point blank, then a big no-no! I wouldn't want an arrogant piece of flesh for any Muslim man.

Thirdly if she doesn't wear hijaab but she wants to, which is to say, she needs a push and then some support. It'll be more than a big "Yes".

Forthly, someone who just wears hijaab. She may not understand it's importance deen wise but sticks to it. She's a yes too.

In short, if a girl has haya, she'll come around to wear hijaab and she's always on the list. If she doesn't have haya, she'll never wear it. Her beautiful hair, peer pressure, good proposals, good career etc. One thing or the other will have more value to her than her modesty and that'll stop her from obeying Allaah in more than just wearing hijaab. I mean Haya is a Branch of Imaan. When one leave the other follows suit. Why even risk marrying an immodest girl?

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Asalam`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

It depends on what's keeping the girl from dressing modestly.

If she's like those, "Meray Dil Main Haya hai" (My heart is modest). Then No. I see this specie is growing in numbers. I've enjoyed telling them "App kay dil main haya hai". ."Likan aap ka dress bay haya hai" (Your heart has modesty but your dress is immodest). That "Bay Haya" (Immodest) word is like an abuse and hits them really hard. I like the look on their faces when they hear it.

If she's wears a hijab and it seems like she's just looking for a chance to throw it off. Then again a no, if she thinks the same as the girls above. One can always tell this kind. They may wear hijaab but in a way where it's just something wrapped around for fashion. It doesn't cover them up and they have their hair sticking out of the front and the back and/or on occasions like parties, students week and stuff they come without it. Even if they know they'll be passing by men.

These two kind of girls don't really understand what hijaab is and they follow their culture. i.e they wear it when its in or common or something everyone does and wouldn't think of it or would switch to not wearing it when its out or hijaabis are rare. If they are given the understanding of what hijaab is and they accept to wearing it for Allaah, then its obviously a yes. If not and they refuse it point blank, then a big no-no! I wouldn't want an arrogant piece of flesh for any Muslim man.

Thirdly if she doesn't wear hijaab but she wants to, which is to say, she needs a push and then some support. It'll be more than a big "Yes".

Forthly, someone who just wears hijaab. She may not understand it's importance deen wise but sticks to it. She's a yes too.

In short, if a girl has haya, she'll come around to wear hijaab and she's always on the list. If she doesn't have haya, she'll never wear it. Her beautiful hair, peer pressure, good proposals, good career etc. One thing or the other will have more value to her than her modesty and that'll stop her from obeying Allaah in more than just wearing hijaab. I mean Haya is a Branch of Imaan. When one leave the other follows suit. Why even risk marrying an immodest girl?

Aslam o alaikum wr wb
mashAllah very good reply ukhti and its Good to know some more from u since u live among the people and this is a good line "App kay dil main haya hai". ."Likan aap ka dress bay haya hai" Very clever cuz i do get that " dil mein tu haya hai line alot

Anyways,
I decided to do something to know more about the situation so i started sending vast txt msges to my relatives regarding hijab telling them about the commandment the value of women in islam etc and it was quite interesting on top of that people really start to avoid u i learned that:
- most of the women here do know abt the ruling of hijab but chose not to folow it
- shockingly, the mom wont do hijab and are almost discouraging their daughters
- i talked to some uncle who really want their wife to do hijab but SubhanAllah they expect so much from the wife and are not willing to do anything on their behalf, and their ikhlaq astagfiruAllah some just used hijab as a excuse for household prblems .... I never understood why cant married ppl just talk ... And this was followed by some annoyed aunt who called my mom the next day

Anyways, stil working on it i just don't get it how does being religious following the best way of life lower the status/ standard of people living in this beautiful country of mine ....

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Oh also one more thing aparently ppl believe if the girl dress appropriately it will lessen her chances of getting marriage proposals .…

 

[al-fajr]

Sis Tabassum, well my point was general and I quoted you to make it, many people say 'if her family wasn't practising then she'd be like ..'

If you were saying it in a negative way or otherwise, I don't know, but my point wasn't really specifically to you, it was to anyone who says things like this and as I said, many people do.

:salam2:

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Aslam o alaikum wr wb
mashAllah very good reply ukhti and its Good to know some more from u since u live among the people and this is a good line "App kay dil main haya hai". ."Likan aap ka dress bay haya hai" Very clever cuz i do get that " dil mein tu haya hai line alot

The people here are in a state that sure wouldn't please any fair minded Muslim. It's aweful and smells bad. I've fully understood one thing: If Dawah and Islah projects are not organised here extensively, we may as well think of living in Vegas. Everything is changing real fast. People don't even know the abc of Islam. Real qualified*, hardworking and persistent people are foolisly working on it. To counter them we don't have qualified or committed people.

You should ask them who had more Haya, Aisha and fatima (May Allaah be pleased with them) or them? Because the former use to cover, if Haya was to be in the heart, are they of the opinion that Aisha and fatima (May Allaah be pleased with them) didn't have any haya and thus they were told to cover?

I just can't even believe the hypocrisy these girls are fed with. Most of them go blank when they are asked this. It's as if they are ask to explain the Quadratic equation when they don't even know 123.

*Qualified in evil.

Anyways,
I decided to do something to know more about the situation so i started sending vast txt msges to my relatives regarding hijab telling them about the commandment the value of women in islam etc and it was quite interesting on top of that people really start to avoid u i learned that:
- most of the women here do know abt the ruling of hijab but chose not to folow it

They know the ruling, but they lack the understanding of this ruling. "Most" don't understand the reason and fruits behind this ruling. They only know what the media teaches them. Backward and oppressed girls follow islam to the extent of covering themselves. Or that it's not fardh etc.

- shockingly, the mom wont do hijab and are almost discouraging their daughters

They do that, not sure if they fear "they'll" have to cover when the daughter do. Or because they go by Shaykh Media's Islam. Or it's cultural pressure. It's a sad sight, when this happens, whatever the reason may be.

- i talked to some uncle who really want their wife to do hijab but SubhanAllah they expect so much from the wife and are not willing to do anything on their behalf, and their ikhlaq astagfiruAllah some just used hijab as a excuse for household prblems .... I never understood why cant married ppl just talk ... And this was followed by some annoyed aunt who called my mom the next day

I've seen that, but these cases are rare. Most men too want women out of their clothes, Infact it's them, fooling the weak ones. And since most, now adays are weak, they are getting fooled easily. I believe men have lost their Geerah to the extent that they can't even help their wives out of the path to hell. Personally, if a wife is stubborn and arrogant and not obeying Allaah. She deserves nothing better than a kickout if she's not listening to respecful words and request!

Anyways, stil working on it i just don't get it how does being religious following the best way of life lower the status/ standard of people living in this beautiful country of mine ....

Because in this beautiful country of yours, people think religion is out of fashion. Prove them wrong.

Oh also one more thing aparently ppl believe if the girl dress appropriately it will lessen her chances of getting marriage proposals .…

Yeah, that's what I have heard people believe. Haven't really met this newly evolved specie. I'm surely am not looking forward to it.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

The people here are in a state that sure wouldn't please any fair minded Muslim. It's aweful and smells bad. I've fully understood one thing: If Dawah and Islah projects are not organised here extensively, we may as well think of living in Vegas. Everything is changing real fast. People don't even know the abc of Islam. Real qualified*, hardworking and persistent people are foolisly working on it. To counter them we don't have qualified or committed people.

:salam2: Wa rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

i have been deeply thinking about the dawah projects here lately, things changed way too fast, if someone doesn't know islam he can be taught islam but here people ideology has been completed changed and they are deceived into thinking what they are doing is correct and we are all good muslims ....
We need some good intellectual scholars, and we need them fast before the small hope that we have is lost, Wallahi its so so so sad, at this moment i feel like you cant even reason with the people cause for every proof you give them they have a opinion of their own, and even if they go speechless they will come up with something against you rather then taking the advice.

You should ask them who had more Haya, Aisha and fatima (May Allaah be pleased with them) or them? Because the former use to cover, if Haya was to be in the heart, are they of the opinion that Aisha and fatima (May Allaah be pleased with them) didn't have any haya and thus they were told to cover?

I just can't even believe the hypocrisy these girls are fed with. Most of them go blank when they are asked this. It's as if they are ask to explain the Quadratic equation when they don't even know 123.

*Qualified in evil.

thats another point, whenever you give them examples of the anbiya or Allah (swt) or the Sahaba (may Allah (swt) bless them all ), the people here somehow don't realize that they were human being as well, they had families, lives just like ours what differentiated them was their taqwa, sincerity to Allah and their imaan, it really puzzles when they you tell someone something and they reply with " lakin woh tu sahaba (ra) the hum kahaan aur woh kahaan" like instead of trying to follow them they put them in a different category ......

They know the ruling, but they lack the understanding of this ruling. "Most" don't understand the reason and fruits behind this ruling. They only know what the media teaches them. Backward and oppressed girls follow islam to the extent of covering themselves. Or that it's not fardh etc.



They do that, not sure if they fear "they'll" have to cover when the daughter do. Or because they go by Shaykh Media's Islam. Or it's cultural pressure. It's a sad sight, when this happens, whatever the reason may be.

yes the great Shaykh al Media where all their ruling comes from, you try to tell them something and i get quoted in return some bakvas movie Khuda ke liye or something, i haven't seen it but i am referred to it all the times, and the ruling on music and beard is derived from it

aparently what the movies says more sense than what the real teaching of islam is cuz if you dont listen to music and grow you a beard ur just no fun .........

I've seen that, but these cases are rare. Most men too want women out of their clothes, Infact it's them, fooling the weak ones. And since most, now adays are weak, they are getting fooled easily. I believe men have lost their Geerah to the extent that they can't even help their wives out of the path to hell. Personally, if a wife is stubborn and arrogant and not obeying Allaah. She deserves nothing better than a kickout if she's not listening to respecful words and request!

probably, cuz only a few men really spoke to me abt hijab 99% didnt say anything. you are talking about losing gheerah, men here look down on it, they tell you to step into the 21st century and stop being so old skool or blame u for being the jealous type and not trusting the women .....

Because in this beautiful country of yours, people think religion is out of fashion. Prove them wrong.

can't really, cuz if they dont do fashion, no rishta = no life ....
well maybe they should see where this western fashion of them is taking them, they are humiliated everywhere in the world, there is not a ounce of respect anyone has and yet they believe its due we are not following the west enough yet.

Umar bin Khattab (ra) has a quote pertaining on similar lines , we were humiliated before, islam came and honored them and if we turn our back on islam, we will be humiliated again.

and thats wats actually happenning.

Yeah, that's what I have heard people believe. Haven't really met this newly evolved specie. I'm surely am not looking forward to it.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh.

May Allah (swt) have mercy on us, thats alot of ranting SubhanAllah, what the real thing is that, we can't give up on anyone, i like to remind myself that i grew up among the same people and would have been living the same way till with the mercy of Allah (swt) i was able to learn a little, the job of dawah can be very tough and require alot of patience but we can start with our homes at least inshAllah, we have to do something, we might not make many friends along the way but we have to focus on the goal of the here after rather than today and inshAllah try our best to teach them about islam and inshAllah inshAllah with the mercy of Allah (swt) they will start to turn around.

 

[finding light]

Asalam`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

It depends on what's keeping the girl from dressing modestly.

If she's like those, "Meray Dil Main Haya hai" (My heart is modest). Then No. I see this specie is growing in numbers. I've enjoyed telling them "App kay dil main haya hai". ."Likan aap ka dress bay haya hai" (Your heart has modesty but your dress is immodest). That "Bay Haya" (Immodest) word is like an abuse and hits them really hard. I like the look on their faces when they hear it.

If she's wears a hijab and it seems like she's just looking for a chance to throw it off. Then again a no, if she thinks the same as the girls above. One can always tell this kind. They may wear hijaab but in a way where it's just something wrapped around for fashion. It doesn't cover them up and they have their hair sticking out of the front and the back and/or on occasions like parties, students week and stuff they come without it. Even if they know they'll be passing by men.

These two kind of girls don't really understand what hijaab is and they follow their culture. i.e they wear it when its in or common or something everyone does and wouldn't think of it or would switch to not wearing it when its out or hijaabis are rare. If they are given the understanding of what hijaab is and they accept to wearing it for Allaah, then its obviously a yes. If not and they refuse it point blank, then a big no-no! I wouldn't want an arrogant piece of flesh for any Muslim man.

Thirdly if she doesn't wear hijaab but she wants to, which is to say, she needs a push and then some support. It'll be more than a big "Yes".

Forthly, someone who just wears hijaab. She may not understand it's importance deen wise but sticks to it. She's a yes too.

In short, if a girl has haya, she'll come around to wear hijaab and she's always on the list. If she doesn't have haya, she'll never wear it. Her beautiful hair, peer pressure, good proposals, good career etc. One thing or the other will have more value to her than her modesty and that'll stop her from obeying Allaah in more than just wearing hijaab. I mean Haya is a Branch of Imaan. When one leave the other follows suit. Why even risk marrying an immodest girl?

:salam2:
Wonderful response Sister - very well explained Mashallah.
JazakAllah Khair.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

:salam2: Wa rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,
at this moment i feel like you cant even reason with the people cause for every proof you give them they have a opinion of their own, and even if they go speechless they will come up with something against you rather then taking the advice.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baaraakaatuh,

Do you how to kids are treated and taught. Let's say kids who are cracked?

thats another point, whenever you give them examples of the anbiya or Allah (swt) or the Sahaba (may Allah (swt) bless them all ), the people here somehow don't realize that they were human being as well, they had families, lives just like ours what differentiated them was their taqwa, sincerity to Allah and their imaan, it really puzzles when they you tell someone something and they reply with " lakin woh tu sahaba (ra) the hum kahaan aur woh kahaan" like instead of trying to follow them they put them in a different category ......

Sufis and Brelvis? Yeah sing a couple of songs, sway you head and your ticket to Jannah is booked. So what's the point of The sahabas being in this world, them being humans, and Revelation of Qur'an and all that. Was it to be followed by them and we are like jews? Allaah's favorites? fire won't touch us kind. What's the difference between them and christians if the Qur'an and bible are both to placed with respect on the shelf, and mosque and church are to be visited weekly, and Muhammad and Jesus Peace and blessing be upon him will intercede for us. These hypocrites are following their version of Christianity. Only difference is their Christmas is on 12 of Rabbi ul Awal and their hymns are naats.

yes the great Shaykh al Media where all their ruling comes from, you try to tell them something and i get quoted in return some bakvas movie Khuda ke liye or something, i haven't seen it but i am referred to it all the times, and the ruling on music and beard is derived from it

So you've memorised the reference list. How about you ask them if they'll take medicine from the guy who collects the garbadge?

if you dont listen to music and grow you a beard ur just no fun.........

Actually it's the guy with the beard and music avoiders fault to not be able to think of alternative fun. With prayers and putting pressure on mind, amazing ideas come to ones head and they slowly start working. Some do. It's more about commitment and sincerity. Allah is the one who Guides and aids us. Shame how we treat ourselves so soft.

probably, cuz only a few men really spoke to me abt hijab 99% didnt say anything. you are talking about losing gheerah, men here look down on it, they tell you to step into the 21st century and stop being so old skool or blame u for being the jealous type and not trusting the women .....

Like I said. Gheerah is lost. They'll never let their women cover. How will they have the pleasure of staring at the others' women if they don't let their women be stared at? It's about their immodesty and money.

can't really,

These two words prove you have lost already. You see why your country is like this. Because the people have the losers atitude, they loose before they even start because they give up. May Allaah have mercy on our state of affairs.

we can start with our homes at least inshAllah.

Families are the hardest nuts to crack btw. Even Br. NAK rants about it.

:salam2:
Wonderful response Sister - very well explained Mashallah.
JazakAllah Khair.

BaarakAllaahu feek.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

The original question was for the brothers. It is a command of Allah's that a woman wear hijab. When the ayat was revealed the wives of the Prophet, swas, immediately put on hijab.

Where is the brother in terms of his deen. And if a brother is very interested in a girl as her husband he can command her to wear hijab.

Let us not reduce this to a discussion of good or bad person.

 

[helpinghumanity]

Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I voted "Yes" and Sorry for getting late into the discussion.

Besides looking into the "Hijab" issue, try to learn about her Ikhlaq (character/behavior). How she interacts with her immediate and or extended family, her friends, neighbors etc? Does she participate in any Islamic activities organized by masjid/school etc?

Marriage can completely change the person. Try to talk her with respect and get-to-know her reason of not wearing hijab. If she has a soft-corner for hijab then say something like "You would love to maker her a partner but hijab is the only hindrance.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baaraakaatuh,

Do you how to kids are treated and taught. Let's say kids who are cracked?

wa rahamatuAllahi wa barakatuhu,
im not sure i fully understand but if you are talking about treating kids then offcourse it requires constant reminder, being gentle and consistant ... is that what your implying ? im not sure i understand
"kids who are cracked" no idea about this sentence

Sufis and Brelvis? Yeah sing a couple of songs, sway you head and your ticket to Jannah is booked. So what's the point of The sahabas being in this world, them being humans, and Revelation of Qur'an and all that. Was it to be followed by them and we are like jews? Allaah's favorites? fire won't touch us kind. What's the difference between them and christians if the Qur'an and bible are both to placed with respect on the shelf, and mosque and church are to be visited weekly, and Muhammad and Jesus Peace and blessing be upon him will intercede for us. These hypocrites are following their version of Christianity. Only difference is their Christmas is on 12 of Rabbi ul Awal and their hymns are naats.

True, and im extremely shocked at the degree of celebration in Pakistan, no one really cares about the sunnah or following it but when it comes to celebrating the birthday everyone thinks thats the true love :astag: and alot of people dont even listen to reason but thats the reality they are doing the same thing even thou we are told again n again not to be like the christians and jews and to differentiate ourselves from the kuffar.

So you've memorised the reference list. How about you ask them if they'll take medicine from the guy who collects the garbadge?

See in Pakistan, everything else requires proof and knowledge, but when it comes to religious everyone shuts their eyes and agree to watever anyone says, they never ask for proof or anything, thats why we need to keep reminding them of the importance of quran and authentic sunnah

Actually it's the guy with the beard and music avoiders fault to not be able to think of alternative fun. With prayers and putting pressure on mind, amazing ideas come to ones head and they slowly start working. Some do. It's more about commitment and sincerity. Allah is the one who Guides and aids us. Shame how we treat ourselves so soft.

i was more quoting people cuz a society indulged so deeply into music people don't consult anything beyond that, and one thing some of the religious people that you meet most of them always have the signs of anger on their forehead and don't show good ikhlaq if they want to correct someone they do it such a rude way that people run away from them, InshAllah we all should work on showing them alternative, and show the true sweetness of our deen, and change can't come over night but inshAllah it will come slowly.

Like I said. Gheerah is lost. They'll never let their women cover. How will they have the pleasure of staring at the others' women if they don't let their women be stared at? It's about their immodesty and money.

yep, hence you barely see love between spouses, everyone is involved more into their own motives...

These two words prove you have lost already. You see why your country is like this. Because the people have the losers atitude, they loose before they even start because they give up. May Allaah have mercy on our state of affairs.

I think i misunderstood ur initial question, if you were implying that we should show them religion is not out of fashion ?? then offcourse, we have to be strict in our ways and follow islam and show them by example. But we do have to struggle to become someone in a position where people can look up to, have to remember all the anbiya (Allah (swt) bless them all ) had the best characteristics in their society, and they belong to noble families, cuz that was something which was important in that time.

Families are the hardest nuts to crack btw. Even Br. NAK rants about it.

Sorry i didn't get NAK reference which scholar are you refering to?

offcourse the families are the hardest but they are our foremost duty, they might look down on you, might think its just a phase ur going thru but if you stay persistent they might just might have small change, and i know how hard it is, but the best example is the example of Ibrahim (a.s) how he dealt with his father, and how gentle and compassionate he was, we should all take example and keep trying with our family

I know alot of my relatives have started saying stuff like oh he is a wahhabi now, oh he is ahle hadith, he is deoband etc etc but u take that with a smile and tell them i am a muslim and its my duty to remind you of this beautiful deen of Allah (swt).
Every family is different but i have seen changes in my family, my dad first wouldn't let me grow a beard and was so furious with me all the times, we had a lot of conflict but Alhumdulilah i was so happy some month ago i had a small accident with the beard and we went to the barber in Pakistan to get it fixed, and i was so glad when my dad emphasized to the barber make sure its not too small cuz he doesn't like it that way.
Change does comes but it comes over tiime and they might not fully change but then again ALlah (swt) is the one who turns the heart not us, we can just give dawah and be the best example possible by us.

:salam2: wa rahamatuAllahi wa barakatuhu

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

im not ....this sentence

By, "do you know how to treat kids who are cracked" I mean mentally unstable kids. Most need to be treated like a mentally unstable kid. With gentleness and consistency as you put it.

See in... need to keep reminding them of the importance of quran and authentic sunnah

Even in Pakistan people have brains which can be triggered to function. Ask them if they'll trust their bodies to be examined and treated by the Korhay wala (Garbadge collector). If not, then why would they trust someone other than the very best on the sensitive issue of the deen. It's quite easy to explain by Questioning. Next they'll say they ask from the best. And you'll have to explain who are actually the best in understanding the deen i.e The students of the Prophet and their students and then their students. (The salaf) You may quote the hadeeth that guarantees their understanding being accurate. If Allaah wills it, some may "actually" think over it, with or without you witnessing that.

I think i misunderstood ur initial question, if you were implying that we should ...ristics in their society, and they belong to noble families, cuz that was something which was important in that time.

You said:
i just don't get it how does being religious following the best way of life lower the status/ standard of people living in this beautiful country of mine ....
I said:
Because in this beautiful country of yours, people think religion is out of fashion. Prove them wrong.
You said:
can't really, cuz if they dont do fashion, no rishta = no life ....

I took that you are say you can't prove them wrong.

Sorry i didn't get NAK reference which scholar are you refering to?

NAK = Nouman Ali Khan.

Every family is different but i have seen changes in my family, my dad first wouldn't let me grow a beard and was so furious with me all the times, we.... we can just give dawah and be the best example possible by us.

This is precisely what I was trying to say here.

Actually it's the guy with the beard and music avoiders fault to not be able to think of alternative fun. With prayers and putting pressure on mind, amazing ideas come to ones head and they slowly start working. Some do. It's more about commitment and sincerity. Allah is the one who Guides and aids us. Shame how we treat ourselves so soft.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa RahmatuAllahi Wa Baraakaatuhu

P.S Isn't it Rahma not Rahamatuallahi?

 

[slaveofAllah88]

By, "do you know how to treat kids who are cracked" I mean mentally unstable kids. Most need to be treated like a mentally unstable kid. With gentleness and consistency as you put it.
Even in Pakistan people have brains which can be triggered to function. Ask them if they'll trust their bodies to be examined and treated by the Korhay wala (Garbadge collector). If not, then why would they trust someone other than the very best on the sensitive issue of the deen. It's quite easy to explain by Questioning. Next they'll say they ask from the best. And you'll have to explain who are actually the best in understanding the deen i.e The students of the Prophet and their students and then their students. (The salaf) You may quote the hadeeth that guarantees their understanding being accurate. If Allaah wills it, some may "actually" think over it, with or without you witnessing that.

wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatuhu,

true, well said, Alhumdulilah everyone is blessed with a brain and intellect, and what you said is true but then again a constant reminder is needed, we have to remember the shaitaan is working very very hard to deceive them thru duniya, and another very important thing that ibn tamiyah said
the two fundamental obstacles that come in the way of the people are - Shubuhat (doubts ) and Shahawatt (desires)

What is said inshAllah will remove the doubts but we all still have the desires of the duniya, overcoming that takes internal struggle and i feel like thats the part people struggle with, like talking with people here about hijab, i dont think they have doubt that hijab is the right thing to do but its their internal desires to please the people and etc that is stopping them i could be wrong Allah (swt) knows best

You said:
i just don't get it how does being religious following the best way of life lower the status/ standard of people living in this beautiful country of mine ....
I said:
Because in this beautiful country of yours, people think religion is out of fashion. Prove them wrong.
You said:
can't really, cuz if they dont do fashion, no rishta = no life ....

I took that you are say you can't prove them wrong.

JazakAllah khair for explaining

This is precisely what I was trying to say here.

Actually it's the guy with the beard and music avoiders fault to not be able to think of alternative fun. With prayers and putting pressure on mind, amazing ideas come to ones head and they slowly start working. Some do. It's more about commitment and sincerity. Allah is the one who Guides and aids us. Shame how we treat ourselves so soft.

true, and i pray that Allah (swt) guide us all and give us the privilege to be among the Anbiya (May Allah (swt) bless them all ) on the day of judgement

and if you have some points to share regarding some dawah or something that worked for you in the past please due so

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa RahmatuAllahi Wa Baraakaatuhu

P.S Isn't it Rahma not Rahamatuallahi?

I think the pronunciation is better the way you correct it JazakAllah khair

:salam2: wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatuhu

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

Talking about marriage, these days in this corner of the world parents and the society makes it really hard for us young people to get married. The requirements for getting married put forth by the girls parents are excessively high. And not only that, they also pose forth certain cultural bindings like giving gold ornaments outside of the Mahr itself. Not only that they also put forth conditions of having some 1000's and hundred 1000's being saved in the bank, having a car, etc. For example, me and other brothers around me face a lot of fitnah studying in the universities. Many of us who wanted to get married, the parents simply put forth conditions of finishing our unis, getting a job, saving money, etc. I know its important that I earn so that I can bear the costs of my family. Alhamduli Allah, students like me can get into part time teaching or other jobs and earn enough to run a small family. But our parents just don't seem to understand. They want us to have an income level that will allow us to have a luxurious life only then they will allow us to get married. Surprising is this that here the a young guy like me can have girlfriends as much as he want (they say that its okay at this age), but as soon as we want to get married they think we are crazy.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:

Talking about marriage, these days in this corner of the world parents and the society makes it really hard for us young people to get married. The requirements for getting married put forth by the girls parents are excessively high. And not only that, they also pose forth certain cultural bindings like giving gold ornaments outside of the Mahr itself. Not only that they also put forth conditions of having some 1000's and hundred 1000's being saved in the bank, having a car, etc. For example, me and other brothers around me face a lot of fitnah studying in the universities. Many of us who wanted to get married, the parents simply put forth conditions of finishing our unis, getting a job, saving money, etc. I know its important that I earn so that I can bear the costs of my family. Alhamduli Allah, students like me can get into part time teaching or other jobs and earn enough to run a small family. But our parents just don't seem to understand. They want us to have an income level that will allow us to have a luxurious life only then they will allow us to get married. Surprising is this that here the a young guy like me can have girlfriends as much as he want (they say that its okay at this age), but as soon as we want to get married they think we are crazy.

:salam2:

akhi everything u said is true, and i am in the same boat .. i wish i had something to tell you other than just be patient nothing else we can do.
but it really makes me sad when i see mashAllah good brother fall into the trap of having a girlfriend especially these days this thing is becoming too common and is hardly even consider anything bad, so much so that most of the parents dont even care....
haram is easy and halal is hard we all know that, but then again u hve to remember this is a small life and we shud be focusing on the hereafter and inshAllah trying to best to keep best halal means

May Allah (swt) make it easy for everyone - ameen