Would you...please?

[palestine]

Asalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu to all of my dear brothers and sisters here. I have 4 nephews and niece who are very young and at the same time very loud and spoiled. lol they turn the house upside down and their mom( my sister) is having a hard time raising them, i have been helping her out ever since the kids were born and their noise, running, and screaming is affecting me as well. I feel as though i've aged. lol I love the children and they are all very cute mashaAllah, however they are giving me a hard time since there mother is sick now( usual sickness...nothing big) and i hardly have time to read my Quran or to do any of my school work, i know it doesn't seem much of a big deal to handle young children, but they are a handful. so please ikhwati wa ikhwani fillah, please please please make dua That Allah swt makes them better in every way and that they settle down if it's khayr for them inshaAllah. we are getting complaints from the neighbors and someone will soon call the police if the kids don't stop screaming and crying all the time. lol
Please make dua that they become good children inshaAllah and that they receive that which is khayr inshaAllah.
AMEEN.
jazakAllahu khayran to all of you who read this and make dua. please do so, it does not take much time. and if the kids better behave, i will get more time to be able to do things that i cannot do now. i've become a busy mother lol and i haven't even given birth to any yet. lol

:salam2:

 

[islamisthesolution]

:salam2:
may Allah make this easy for you
you know what i have the same problem with my sister kids they are unbearable most of the time and my 7 year old sister got the chance to destroy everything with them so when they get together everything like you said turns upside down but sometimes its really kinda fuuny

may Allah help you and your sister in raising them well
inshAllah tomorrow will be better

you and your sister will be in my dua dont worry everything is gonna be fine just enjoy beng with them no matter what they did i know its hard and no one can imagine how hard it is but just keep smiling and have fun with them as much as you can

:salam2:

 

[AlQurtubi]

May ALLAH help you out sister. Children always shout doesnt matter how you treat them. The only solution is to send the to basement. lol

 

[palestine]

:salam2:
may Allah make this easy for you
you know what i have the same problem with my sister kids they are unbearable most of the time and my 7 year old sister got the chance to destroy everything with them so when they get together everything like you said turns upside down but sometimes its really kinda fuuny

may Allah help you and your sister in raising them well
inshAllah tomorrow will be better

you and your sister will be in my dua dont worry everything is gonna be fine just enjoy beng with them no matter what they did i know its hard and no one can imagine how hard it is but just keep smiling and have fun with them as much as you can

:salam2:

JazakAllahu khayran for uplifting my spirit. I will in fact take your advice and inshaAllahu ta'ala try and make the most of it. may Allah reward you ukhti .:tti_sister::salam2:jazakAllahu khayran.

 

[Almeftah]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته


Children love stories, they tend to listen quietly.. you should try it.

 

[palestine]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته


Children love stories, they tend to listen quietly.. you should try it.

walaykum wasalam wrwb. lol not these kids akhi. the book goes flying into pieces. the problem is they can't speak for some reason. they can say a few words but even the oldest who is going to turn 5 years old doesnt know how to speak. they can understand what you tell them to do, but they don't know much words. they're starting to learn now though alhamdulillah. some people say it's because of the vaccination shots children are given. don't know though. they love going outside though and now that it is spring....i'm gonna make them go crazy outside. lol. i make them walk 23 mins from where we live and they don't even get tired! and then i stay wiht them outside for around 5 hours just playing with them, and that's not enough either! lol.....but we enjoy playing together. with the dua of all the brothers and sisters here inshaAllah it will get better. my nephews and niece are odd. lol. they don't hear a word i say but they pray by themselves almost all five prayers and can recite fatiha, an nas, ikhlas, and falaq. they make me laugh....asalamu alaykum wrwb and jazakAllahu khayran.

 

[palestine]

Bomeshary: the only books they don't rip is the quran and any islamic text....they LOVE LOVE READING THOSE, although they can't read. they act like they can read it though. lol, all they keep repeating is "bismillahi rahmani ar raheemi".

 

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

i think having a chart for them is effective because you reward the good behavior and correct the bad behavior it works with my siblings i give them time limits and rules if they follow they get rewarded i watch them super nanny programs lol but it works just watch how they will work hard for candy lol anyway i think your kids are younger so try make things fun like tidying up activities while your doing your own thing as well hope everything goes well i understand what you mean i have aged so much they call me granny iam only 19 thats my nickname i hate being the rule enforcer (bad guy) but someones got to do it

Hope all goes well i will make dua for you inshallah its a test of patience hope you do well just bear with it patiently and you will be rewarded inshallah

 

[Almeftah]

Bomeshary: the only books they don't rip is the quran and any islamic text....they LOVE LOVE READING THOSE, although they can't read. they act like they can read it though. lol, all they keep repeating is "bismillahi rahmani ar raheemi".

That shout give you a good idea.. get more than a copy of the books they love.. let each one of them hold a copy while you read to them. that should make them a reading generation.
They may not understand what you read, but it'll have a positive effect on them.

 

[Abdulhalim]

Salaam..

You should try to read them some stories of the Companions of the Prophet SAW... the likes of Mus'ab, Salman Al-Farsi, Zaid and others. Try to offer them something that they really likes then take the opportunity to tell them stories. Also, when they are sleeping try read 'YA MUKHIT' repeatedly and blow it to them...
Insha Allah they will be better children who will strive for the DEEN and became good PREACHER... Ameen.

 

[warda A]

:salam2:

Dear sister, children become rowdy when they have nothing to do ,they get restless especially if they are unable to go out and play, they turn the house into a playground.
Could they go out and play? if not maybe you could have a room for playing and give them things to do to keep them occupied apart from reading them stories you could give them puzzles and things to do.
:tti_sister:

 

[FreedomFighter]

:salam2:

inshaAllah i hope things go well for you...i got two brothers younger than me and they fight everyday..there is hardly a day when they dont fight..no matter what, they always have problems and fight starts..i have to be the one to break them up...and they are not 7 or 8 years old, they are older than that..ya so its quite bad fighting almost everyday

 

[a_muslimah86]

:salam2:

Poor thing!..I don't know if I should laugh at your comments or feel for ..may Allah help you!

Ukhti...

Do the kids yell ALL THE TIME or is it when they want something? (i.e. food..candy..tv..etc.)

If it's all the time..then there could be a problem with how they're disciplined (they've pretty much gone SPOILED like you said)..so you have to sort of REVERSE the damage and UN-SPOIL them

if it's just when they want something..let me tell you..

That is a tactic by kids..you might think kids don't think too deep..lol..but they really know that if they CRY and YELL they will ANNOY *YOU* into *giving them* whatever *THEY* want..so the best thing to do is to just..*IGNORE THEM*..don't even look at them..if they grab you..throw things..scream!!!..etc.

slightly push them away..or put things back in place..and don't say anything or acknowledge their actions in any way..shape..or form!

Once they see you don't care..they'll be like *oh this doesn't work..I better sit down and do something else*..they'll eventually get sick of yelling and crying too (believe it or not!)

UNLESS..the situation differs..

For example..they want something that is different from what you want for them (i.e. you want to have them eat lunch..they want cookies and ONLY COOKIES)..in THAT CASE..set-up their lunch..put it on their plates and arrange it and everything..and sit down..even start eating yourself..and ignore the actions BUT repeat what YOU WANT THEM TO DO every so often..example.."your lunch is getting cold".."are you going to eat lunch?".."this is all we have for food".."lunch time is almost over, come eat your food"..etc..

I know it will be tough..and you will be driven up the wall..but this is the best thing you can do..I have a sister with down-syndrome and she's quite spoiled by my parents due to her condition..but I still treat her like a normal child..I discipline her..and use this method along with many others with her..and sobhanallah..she listens to me and behaves well with me more than anybody else because even *she* in her special condition knows..I won't give her special treatment..so she abides by *my* rules almost all the time..alhamduliallah

Anyway..

Now if the kids do yell and scream all the time then you have to do two things..

one..toughen your heart a bit and discipline them..I know your heart will weaken when you see the innocent face and the tears and everything (sigh)..but DON'T let that happen..you're doing this for THEIR OWN GOOD!..discipline made at the right time in the right methods can really work wonders!..especially if it accompanies a *healthy* (emotionally/mentally/physically) system of rewards!

two..let them be kids *where they're supposed to be*...example..if you live in a small house or apartment..that can contribute to them being jumpy and what not..because they feel *trapped*..kids want to run wild (I'm sure you're nodding your head with agreement right now lol)..so give them that chance everyday or every other day..as much as you can..and you can even use this a method of reward..

For example..

Take them out to a nearby park to play around with other kids..run..scream..laugh..play play play some more..try to get the *hype* out of their system..they'll literally be *too tired* to do *anything* if you do that..take them out for a couple of hours..3 hours..or 4..depending on how much free time you have..and then bring them back home..and have them do 1 or 2 more things at the most! (i.e. dinner..or dinner & a bath)..and then put them to sleep!

The way you can use this as a method of reward is by saying...

"honey..if you be good and quiet and let auntie ......... (insert your activity there lol) I will take you out to play in the park okay?"

Make sure you get them to say "yes" or "okay" or "deal" to you..or even just *nod* yes or okay!..so you're sure they LISTENED..and you can even have them sit with you while you're doing what you're doing if it's possible (i.e. if cooking..give them herbs to cut with their hands for salad..if reading qura'an..sit them around you and let them listen..etc.)

I for example can't go out all the time..so I take advantage of our big backyard..I take out a HUGE ball..sit on the swing with a book in hand or even the laptop..and toss the ball..and say to my sister "juman let's play ball!!!"..she gets all excited..and kicks the ball to me..and i toss it to her..and she tosses it back to me..sometimes..she doesn't even want a ball or anything..she just walks around..exploring the backyard..running back and forth for no reason..waving at cars..and talking to the neighbor's dog..lol..while I enjoy my book/novel/or small study/homework session

It sounds simple..but she gets the kicks out of it because well she's "a child" and to her it's "the GREATEST thing"..so you can do that with your nephews as well..try your very best to do it..you'll see how effective it will be!

Another good thing to do is have strict SCHEDULING OF EVERYTHING!..food has its time..dora/barney/playing has its time..bathing has its time..and BEST OF ALL..NAPPING & SLEEPING have their times!!!..children behave better when they have a *routine*..randomness in their lives..means randomness in their behavior..so think of this point very hard and try to solve it asap!

Also..check their diet..eliminate any sugars..caffeine..etc. COMPLETELY when NOT necessary (a cookie or a bit of ice-cream won't kill every so often )..you really cannot imagine how a lollipop can ruin an adult's day when consumed by a child!..lol

I know I went off on you..and I'm sorry :shymuslima1:..but I wanted to help you as much I could..because I know how hard this responsiblity can get..and since I've been taking care of my sister since I was 13..I thought I can give you some methods to help out from experience..

Just make sure you stay persistant and stern (when necessary)..don't budge..don't weaken..*you* direct *them*..you say they understand others very well..so take advantage of that..alhamduliallah at least they dont' have special needs (it can get pretty tough with tantrums of children with special needs )..and be patient patient patient..you're literally going to *mold* these children..so you have to hang on to every bit of paitience and like I said remain *persistant* and certainly *CONSTANT and REPETITIVE* at all times!

Plus..think of all the ajer you're getting..and the experience for your own kids in the future inshallah..that can help you as well..

And Inshallah all will be well before you even realize it

If you need anything else..or you need more help with this issue..just let me know

 

[naaad]

hahahahaha
i m sooo sorry sis that i am laughing but i am laughing because i understand your situation very well....
there are total 5 kids at home (niece +nephews) and my sis lives in the neighbourhood so even her 3 kids join in and the situation they create
i roam around with a thick can in my hand to frighten them....its indeed very tiring....but at times i play with all of them , in such a situation my parents go through the torture of our noise their daughter and grand children

try playing with kids...maybe you can get them organised and listen to you....

May ALLAH help you........with them.....