Burnt in Mecca
I was born as a Muslim just simply because my parents are Muslim. But, I really understand Islam after I was born 36 years later. And it was at Mecca.
Before I went to Mecca, I have a dream going there. And few months later, my brother in law sponsored me. Me myself before go to Mecca really a bad guy. Too bad to the extent I asked God what is my fate in Akhirat with all the sins I committed. I know the God is just (Adil) and I will get what I deserved to get for all my sins.
There were so many things happened to me. Felt burnt as if I was in hell when I was in the Mosque. Seeing stones and hills with a scary face as if I was so dirty. Even I was arrested by Kaabah police for touching women while I perform tawaf crying for my sins. And so many thing that I cant afford to share with you. There so many things hardly to tell here.
But I learnt many thing. Among others, as mentioned in Surah Al Hijri: 99, we will never the truth of Islam until we die. We are just required to submit ourselves, istiqamah, and obey the Din's rules and regulation. The rest is to tawakkal. That is what was said - to obey the God until you reach Al Yaqin - and Nabi SAW said - Al Yaqin is when you die.
About the different mazhab, tarekat and what ever group we have in this relegion, I learn something that it is not the group or ism or tarekat make you a good person, but whether you can be a good person, increased iman and takwa to God with that group. Thus I learned that the difference must be respected no matter how we do not agree with them. Why> Because ALlah says in Al Isra: 84 - each man has its own way of performing the ibadat, and only God knows who is the right one. We are not the God to determine and assure who is right or wrong.
To non Muslim I always say to them... I respect your religion and your belief ... and let the death be the definite answer whose wrong or right. Here we are to live together and respect each other. And truly Allah said - the non Mulsim will opened their eyes big because fear of death while those who belief have nothing to worry with the truth of Islam.
Anyway to new brothers, you are always better than me or who born Muslim because you like baby where all sins forgiven once converted to Islam. Not like us, since 15 years old we are so sinful and yet continue to be sinful.
ANyway, read the Quran and the translation as well every day without miss. There you will find the truth. Do not try to give opinion on what you read (because syaitan will teach you then) But try to understand and ask God to protect you from was-was.
Read the books of Hadith.
One more thing, no matter what you hear or you read on anything about Islam, the story of past people or ulama', just say "amantu billah wa rasulihi"
I belief in Allah and his Prophet SAW.
This is according to what Prophet says, when the Jews or nasrani comes and tell you stories about the past, do not deny them and do not belief straight away. Just say "amantu billah..."
Based on the true meaning of ayah 1000 Dinar (Surah Talaq 2-3) if the stroy is true, on the basis of takwa, it will kept well in your heart and make better you belief to Islam. And if it a lie, Alla will dismiss it away from you.
remember, in the grave the angle will ask us who is our brother and we will say Muslim and Muslimah. And we will not answer Shafie' Hambali, Syiah, Naqsabandi. When we say Muslim, we will not referring to what group they are belonging to. IN other words, Muslims are brother.
Wallahu a'lam.